Daily Archives: December 14, 2009

Sarah Palin’s Coming To Town !!!

The Twelve Days Of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

Thank goodness The Sarah Palin Cross-Country Book Tour and Revival has finally come to a merciful end. The freak show meandered through 24 states for about a month before concluding back in her home state of Alaska. The venues for book signings were as follows: Cincinnati, OH; Columbus, OH; Washington, PA; Rochester, NY; Roanoke, VA; Fort Bragg, NC; Birmingham, AL; Jacksonville, FL; The Villages, FL (by the way, what kind of a town name is “The Villages”?);  Orlando, FL (home of “Goofy”, that seems appropriate); Springfield, MO; Fayetteville, AZ; Flagstaff, AZ; Dallas, TX, Sioux City, IA; Sioux Falls, SD; Bloomington, MN (also included, was a tomato dodging exhibition); Coeur d’Alene, Province of Quebec, oops, we mean ID; Albuquerque, NM; Round Rock, TX; Norman, OK; Vendenberg Air Force Base; Billings, MT; someplace in Washington state; and the Eielson Air Force Base and Elmendorf Air Force Base, AK.

Where were the New Yorks, Bostons, Philadelphias, Baltimores, Miamis, Los Angeleses, San Franciscos and Detroits? You know, the places where people can actually read books. Really, take an honest look at Palin’s book tour list and try to convince yourselves that it is not the exact same list of venues featured on last year’s Blue Collar Comedy Tour? But what will poor Palin do for an encore now that the private luxury jet that she used for transportation has been returned to its owner?

Don’t you worry your little heads about Caribou Barbie. She has already accepted a host of paid speaking engagements. Our star of stars has been booked as keynote speaker at the exclusive Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America Convention in 2010. The Anchorage Daily News has also informed us that Alaska’s former ex-quitting governor has “been booked for an April speaking engagement at a fundraiser for two Hamilton, Ontario, hospitals that, Think Progress reminds us, are part of Canada’s abortion-providing, single-payer health care system and offer the type of end-of-life counseling that Palin has attributed to “death panels”. That should be interesting. Palin might also want to apply for a speaking engagement with the Tomato Throwers Association of America in light of the near pelting which took place at her Bloomington, MN book signing.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky4wu58XTr4

SARAH PALIN’S COMING TO TOWN

(sung to the Patti Page version of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)

Get your wallet out
Wink and blink your eyes
Holler and shout
At protesting guys
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

She’ll fleece you while your sleeping
Your money she will take
She’ll force you to purchase her book
Although the story’s fake

Oh, get your money out
So that you can buy
Can’t be without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

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