The Rise (Get It…”RISE”) And Fall Of Mark Sanford

Only a short while ago South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s career was on the rise. He was an upcoming conservative star within the Republican Party with presidential aspirations. Something else was also on the rise however (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean?), and that is what triggered Sanford’s sordid fall from power.

The saga began when Sanford mysteriously disappeared for six days and neither his family nor his staff had any idea as to his whereabouts. The ever pesky main stream media caught on to the case of the missing governor which prompted his staff to make up a story that Sanford needed to clear his head by means of hiking the Appalachian Trail.

That fabrication unraveled, however when an unidentified South Carolina law enforcement official informed CNN that Sanford’s vehicle had been parked at the airport for several days. Next, airport officials confirmed that Sanford had just re-entered the United States from Argentina.  Finally, we learned  that Sanford had  been borrowing law enforcement vehicles in the middle of the night for sojourns to parts unknown. In an effort to diminish the impact of the story that the press was about to release, Sanford held a preemptive tear filled press conference in which he admitted to having had a long-term affair with an Argentinian mistress. The confession was quickly followed by the release of the transcripts of a series of mushy emails between the couple which were worthy of the prose found in cheap dime-store romance novels. The state and national Republican Party called for him to resign his governorship but Sanford next claimed that he had spoken to God himself and was instructed to retain the position just as King David continued to rule subsequent to his adulterous affair.

Sanford’s refusal to resign prompted the South Carolina legislature to commence impeachment proceedings against him. The grounds for impeachment were that Sanford wrongfully left the state to meet his mistress in Argentina without informing his staff of his whereabouts and without installing a proper chain of command. A special House subcommittee met this week to consider the impeachment resolution for the first time. But last Tuesday, it was revealed that Sanford faces even more trouble.

CNN reports that the South Carolina Ethics Commission has now charged Sanford with 37 counts of ethics law violations following a three month investigation of Sanford’s use of taxpayer money. CNN.com states,

Sanford is accused of using tax money to buy business-class airfare on domestic and international flights, flying on a state-owned aircraft to political gatherings or events “which involved no official business,” and spending campaign funds for personal use such as buying a ticket to attend President Obama’s inauguration in January.

South Carolina law requires state officials to buy the lowest fares available for flights, and bars the use of state aircraft for personal use.

It appears that Mark Sanford’s days of wine and roses have come to a bitter end. But really, is anybody surprised that another dirty Republican has been exposed?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Oh, Boy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sg9XI7bYrA&feature=related

PO’ BOY

(sung to the Buddy Holly song “Oh, Boy”)

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
Big romance while Sanford was missin’
Po’ boy, adultery
Po’ boy, the world can see
Sanford must leave his seat

All of Mark’s life
He been a waitin’
Preachin’ them politics of a-hatin’
Po’ boy, down in S.C.
Po’ boy, now he can see
No more Presidency

Lots of tears from eyes that are ballin’
Credibility is a fallin’
A little bit a-lovin’ makes everything right
Mark’s sure to call Evita tonight

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
Big romance while Sanford was missin’
Po’ boy, adultery
Po’ boy, the world can see
Sanford must leave his seat

Dumb-dee-dumb-dumb
Po’ boy
Dumb-dee-dumb-dumb
Po’ boy

(musical interlude)

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
We love it when Sanford goes missin’
Po’ boy, adultery
Po’ boy, the world can see
Sanford’s sheer lunacy

Sanford’s good wife
Won’t be a matin’
Mark might take to Larry Craig’n
Po’ boy, K-Y Jelly
Po’ boy, watchin’ telly
Sanford will be lonely

Scars appeared and his future is fallin’
He can hear Fox News a callin’
A little elbow rubbin’ makes everything right
Mark’s gonna be on Glenn Beck tonight

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
We’re laughin’ so hard that we’re pissin’
Po’ boy, laugh till we pee
Po, boy, the world can see
There’s no more G.O.P.

Advertisements

Posted on December 4, 2009, in Mark Sanford, Republican, Songs, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. International man of mystery

    Although fiscally conservative (very) with his own money, Sanford isn’t your typical lying, cheating, hypocritical Republican-he’s in love!

    Now that his wife’s abandoned him, why is he waiting to hook-up with his passionate tango partner? There’s no shame in flying coach!

    He’d better not be hanging around merely to collect his last Big Government check-that’s not very romantic in any language.

    • Elvis Costello & Burt Bacharach – This House Is Empty Now (couldn’t get video to work with the phone)
      These rooms play tricks upon you
      Remember when they were always filled with laughter
      But now they’re quite deserted
      They seem to just echo voices raised in anger
      Maybe you will see my face
      Reflected there on the pane
      In the window up above for long
      In broken home
      Yet this house is empty now
      Theres nothing I can do
      To make you want to stay
      So tell me how am I supposed to live without you
      Oh, if I could just become forgetful
      When night seems endless
      Does the extinguished candle care
      About the darkness
      It’s funny how my memory
      Will bring you so close then make you disappear
      Meanwhile all our friends must choose
      Who they will favor, who they will lose
      Hang the garland high, or close the door
      Or throw away the key
      This house is empty now
      There’s no one living here
      You have to care about
      This house is empty now
      Theres nothing I can do
      To make you want to stay
      So tell me how am I supposed to live without you
      This house is empty now
      This house is empty now
      Theres nothing I can do
      This house is empty now
      This house is empty now

      I think Mark’s playing this song now that Jenny, his wife/campaign manager, and their sons moved out.

  2. This post is great! LOL on the song parody.

    I think he was MIA over Father’s Day weekend which raised so many red flags for a family values guy with 4 sons. Kinda like $P and the abstinence values. Thanks for pointing out the hypocrites in such a creative and humorous way.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: