Sarah Palin’s Black Friday Black Ops

Piper Palin spellchecks Sarah at book signing event.

The day after Thanksgiving is allegedly the busiest shopping day of the year as retailers discount goods in an attempt to jump-start the holiday shopping season. The day is known as “Black Friday” because it is the day when most retailers’ accounting books shift from the red to the black. This year’s Black Friday is also a day when Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting former governor of Alaska will be in Washington state for a weekend of hawking her ghost-written fictional memoir in the hope of raking in enough cash to extinguish all of her legal defense debt. Palin hopes that today is the day that her subservient supporters will buy enough books to shift her personal finances from the red to the black.

She has a good chance of achieving her goal. Palin’s supporters are primarily comprised of under-educated, rural, right-wing, religious zealots. These folks will only buy a book if its title is, “Bible” or if it is very easy to read with little words and lots of pictures. Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue fits the second category quite nicely. Consequently, she should sell a bunch of them which will then be gift-wrapped and given out as Christmas presents all across backwoods America.

The rest of the reading public may want to take a pass on delving into the Palin book. The critical reviews are not flattering. Today’s Boston Globe has an informative yet negative review which can be read here. Some of the more memorable quotes contained therein are as follows:

Even if one agrees with her premise that Team McCain was dealt a poor hand last year and made things worse by infighting and poor decision-making, it’s not at all clear that if they had followed Palin’s advice, the outcome would have been different. Given her poor grasp of many issues and her tendency to make verbal gaffes, it’s not surprising that John McCain’s staff members kept her on a short leash.

and

While readers get glimpses of her sunny side, it’s often eclipsed by her need to give verbal payback to Alaskan and national politicians who crossed her or didn’t take her seriously enough. Also, while her press coverage wasn’t always what she might have liked, it goes with the territory of playing in the political big leagues, and it would have been more helpful to her image if she had accepted it, rather than whine about it excessively. Though her media-bashing may play well among the conservative base, it might not be the best approach for snagging centrist voters who tend to be the people whose votes decide presidential elections.

and our favorite,

Palin also doesn’t help herself by having produced such a poorly written book. The narrative rambles, and there isn’t much self-reflection. One is reminded of Truman Capote’s comment about the works of Jack Kerouac: “This isn’t writing, it’s typing.’’ In addition, she should have looked ahead and devoted additional space to outlining her worldview.

Ouch!

In honor of Black Friday what better song could we parody than Steely Dan‘s “Black Friday”? please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Black Friday song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVQKiqCZ9No

PALIN’S BLACK FRIDAY

(sung to the Steely Dan song “Black Friday”)

When Black Friday comes
She’ll be on her book tour
Sarah Palin hopes “Going Rogue” is a great big score
When Black Friday comes
She’ll collect all the dough she’s owed
And before those lines thin out she’ll be on the road
When Black Friday comes it will be “me”, “me”, “me”
Cuz this is Sarah P.

When Black Friday comes
She’ll be at the Borders Books
Where all her supporters have no brains judging by their looks
But they will all be so pleased
They’ve paid their SarahPAC dues
Yet they have no idea that they’re just being used
When Black Friday comes they’ll pay Palin’s bills
You know they will

(musical interlude)

When Black Friday comes
Palin’s bus will be on the roll
Counting her book cash just thrills her big empty black soul
Even though her coins are shiny
Sarah’s demeanor is mostly whiney
She needs the cash to move away from the cold North Pole
When Black Friday comes
She’s gonna stake her claim

To fortune and great fame!