Daily Archives: September 28, 2009

Sarah Palin Believes That “Rogue” Is In Vogue

The publisher astutely rejected this early version of Palin's memoir.

The publisher astutely rejected this early version of Palin's memoir.

We all know of Sarah Palin’s lucrative book deal with HarperCollins (owned, not surprisingly by Rupert Murdoch) in which she will counter all those nasty rumors circulated by the “Gotcha Media.” We have also, too, just learned that the release date for the tome has been moved up from Spring 2010 to November 17, 2009. She needs the money sooner because her handler, Meg Stapleton screwed up the negotiations for last week’s Hong Kong speaking debut by inadvertently agreeing that Palin would be compensated in Chinese Renminbis rather than U.S. Dollars.

Nonetheless, Sarah “Word Salad” Palin will finally get the opportunity to put that journalism degree to work. When you consider her memorable interviews with Couric and Gibson, however, we can understand why she required the assistance of a (hopefully, literate) ghostwriter. Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off predicts that her book will have the shelf life of O.J. Simpson’s “If I Did It.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Ann Coulter Is A Wild And Crazy Guy

Coulter appearing on Fox News' Hannity program.

Coulter appearing on Fox News' Geraldo Rivera program.

That guy, Ann Coulter is up to his old tricks again. Of all the guys out there, Coulter is one of the most acerbic, racist, homophobic right-wing pundits. This weekend while appearing on Geraldo Rivera’s program, Coulter once again entered the world of absurdity. When asked by Rivera if he thought that some of the more hateful extremists appearing at the conservative Tea-Bagger rallies were inciting hatred and violence by, among other things, displaying posters which depict President Barack Obama as Hitler, he responded in the negative. In fact, Coulter went on to assert that the people carrying the Hitler signs were not Tea-Baggers at all, but were in fact “liberal agitators” that go to the protests to make the Tea-Baggers look bad. This Coulter guy is simply out of his mind.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Lola song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRopmfinsWk

COULTER

(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)

I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars

Well I’m not the world’s most perceptive bloke
But she is a lady that I wouldn’t dare poke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

Well she sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on her eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox she was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

I changed the station
M-S-N-B-C
Re-luct-ant-ly
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he

Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women when they don’t have dinks like Ann Coulter’s
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
She says that her wisdom sells her books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t her good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter

I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
But I’m never gonna take it right up the can
From no Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter