Daily Archives: September 19, 2009

Sarah Palin, The Hong Kong Ding Dong

The reason Sarah Palin's speech in Hong Kong will be closed to the press.

The reason Sarah Palin's speech in Hong Kong will be closed to the press.

It is being widely reported that Sarah Palin’s speech at the CLSA forum in Hong Kong on September 23rd will be closed to the public and the press. We can understand why this is the case in that the event organizers certainly want to keep the laughs in-house as further enticement to join their investors’ group and to sell more tickets. Let’s face it, even Carrottop’s comedy show is available only to ticket purchasers.

Not to worry though. We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off have been provided a leaked copy of Palin’s speech. Well, actually we were told that it could be found in the comment section of  ThinkProgress (here is the link at #57). in any event here is the alleged text of her speech:

From the Kitchen Office of The Governor of the Republic Of Alaska

Well hiya, Honk Ong.

Ya know, I always wondered where Sushi came from, and now I know. Hey congratulations on gaining your freedom from those Commies in 1999.

As a foremost expert on Energies and such I asked my son Trig if I should accept your offer to speak here tonight and he said hell-yeah!
Ya know the only thing more precious than a child, is a vision of an economic that ensures the greatness of achievements so the taxpayers freedoms remain free, like our founding fathers did before our childrens future, which is what I’m fighting for but the media won’t let me because they keep making things up also and I wish they’d just quit it ya know?
Because Governing Alaska is just a leetle bit more qualifying than organizing black kids, you betcha, so that’s why I’m not quitting because basketball moms know the difference between helicopter wolf-hunting and clothes-shopping and when you read all the newspapers like I do you have to ask yourself the hard questions and get things done while protecting your shores because, as a mother, I have a fridge magnet that inspires me every day to keep going and keep fighting for things that are need to be done so that our kids can’t be indoctrinated by the nay-sayers who aren’t real Americans from which we can learn politics as usual isn’t what I’m all about and we should all ask ourselves, in what context? Also.

Thank You.

If this proves not to be the actual speech, don’t worry. In this day and age of cell phones, digital recording devices, etc., we are sure that the word salad will leak out. until then, please enjoy today’s song parody which seems quite appropriate. remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzsL99OO8_s

SARAH’S SILLY GRAMMAR

(sung to the The Beatles song “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”)

Palin castigates and she miscommunicates
Speaking words unknown
She repeats and drones in a grating tone
Oh, oh, oh

She needs medicine, we’re in need of Excedrin
When she whines and moans
She knows fewer words than ol’ Fred Flinstone
Oh, oh, oh

She’s not as bright as that Plumber, Joe
And dresses like a whore

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Safety schools back then, Sarah had no acumen
Could not stay employed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
Ee, ee, een

She can’t help but pray for luck each election day
Though she should resign
Working with a mind that is oh, so slow
Oh, oh, oh

She only aggravates and annoys
And gets in ethics binds

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

By age forty-one, Palin was a dirty one
Sitting on her throne
Giving state jobs to all her friends from home
Oh, oh, oh

Quacking like a mallard while tossing a word salad
Sarah gives a speech
The words are just out of reach, it’s darn sloppy prose
Oh, oh, oh

And as the words are leaving her lips
She gets much more tongue tied

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Silly grammar gal