Daily Archives: September 11, 2009

Sarah Palin’s Lunch Bunch

Palin orders chalupas for winning bidders at Wasilla, AK Taco Bell

Palin orders chalupas for winning bidders at Wasilla, AK Taco Bell

We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off have had to digest (pun intended) a lot of information before commenting on the lunch date with Sarah Palin that you can bid on at ebay. We all know the basics, right? Sarah Palin the ex-quitting-governor of Alaska has agreed to host a lunch date with herself, Todd “The First Dude” and two more of her friends with the winning bidder and four of his/her companions. All proceeds from the event, namely the amount of the winning bid, will be donated to a charitable group known as Ride2Recovery, which sponsors bike riding therapeutic sessions for wounded veterans. So far, so good.

In typical Palin fashion however, things are never so straight forward or simple. There are so many contingencies and pre-qualification requirements on bidding that we believe that the only two potentially acceptable bidders will be Joe The Plumber and Joe “You Lie” Wilson. To begin, the opening bid is          $ 25,000.00. Next, the lunch will take place at an establishment to be chosen by Sarah Palin and the winning bidder must fork over the extra dough (that was a food analogy, get it? fork, dough) required for travel to said destination. OK, so what fine dining establishment might Palin choose? We can only think of two. Either it will be at that infamous turkey farm where we watched Palin give an interview while simultaneously watching a turkey get its head ground to bits, or it will be at her favorite dinner spot as revealed by Levi Johnston in his Vanity Fair exposé, Chez Taco Bell. Both of these places are in Alaska by the way so airfare will not be cheap.

Moving right along, we then notice this particular disclaimer in the ebay offering:

A background check for all attendees is mandatory. Failure to pass the background check will result in the winner forfeiting the experience and a refund given.

and this,

Respect for Ms. Palin and her guest(s) is expected at all times. Inappropriate behavior will result in the conclusion of the experience with no refund.

and this,

Dinner shall last no more than four hours, but could be less, in the sole discretion of Sarah Palin.* Governor Palin reserves the right to refuse dinner with a winning bidder if, in her sole discretion, the winning bidder is not a suitable bidder based on her subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background and other factors.

Let’s delve into this pre-qualification requirement a little bit. On the ebay webpage you must click on an icon and then provide such information as your name, address, and telephone and email info. This is a bit redundant because you already have to provide all of that information to ebay in order to bid on any of their auctions. It is then that you might notice the writing at the bottom of the pre-qualification form which says:

*After you submit this form, a Kompolt representative will review your information and contact you via phone to complete the Pre-Qualification process.

There’s the catch. You see, somebody will actually telephone you and interview you as to your political party affiliation, race, gender and religion. There will probably be one of those “litmus tests” regarding your pro-choice/pro-life leanings also, too. Hardly seems worth all of the effort, does it?

Oh, one last thing. Click on the actual ebay offering page, here. Notice the writing over Palin’s photo which says, “Free Shipping”. What the hell does that mean? Can you avoid the travel costs by somehow shipping yourself and associates via Fedex or something to Alaska? Or, in the alternative, can you have the Palin Bunch shipped to you free of charge? If you have any other explanation, please enlighten us in the comment section.

Today’s song parody pays homage to a wonderful Beatles song in honor of their entire catalog being re-mastered and re-released this week. Please click on the link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune but also to have more fun singing along to the parody.

Yesterday song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-n1Ro456nA&feature=related

YESTERDAY

(sung to the Beatles song “Yesterday”)

Yesterday, Sarah Palin seemed so far away
Now it looks as though she’s here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly,
Palin’s all over my TV screen
My God, she is such a drama queen
She whines and cries so stubbornly

She “goes with the flow”
“Like dead fish”, she’s on her way
She’s off to Hong Kong
Singing songs for her payday

Yesterday, Sarah auctioned herself on Ebay
I’d rather eat lunch with Tina Fey
She’s so much smarter anyway

She’s on Glenn Beck’s show
Plumber Joe’s the double-play
If things don’t go wrong
She’ll be on another day

Yesterday, Sarah Palin seemed so far away
Now I wish that they’d lock her away
Oh, I remember yesterday
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm