Daily Archives: August 7, 2009

Palin Is Once Again In A New York State Of Mind

Sarah Palin clutches "doggie bag" from swanky Michael's restaurant in NYC

Sarah Palin clutches "doggie bag" from swanky Michael's restaurant in NYC

Doesn’t it seem that Sarah Palin is in New York City more frequently than the Yankees? This week she was in the Big Apple ostensibly to meet with her publisher concerning her memoir to be released this spring. As part of the junket, she dined at Manhatten’s trendy (dare we say, “elitist”) Michaels restaurant. Her dining partners were husband (?) Todd, agent Michael Barnett and Meg Stapleton. Why was Meg Stapleton there? What is her role in the book deal?

The other curiosity is that Palin always seems to spend her East Coast time in those trendy, elitist places that she so often attributes to be out of touch with mainstream America’s values. What is the story here? Is Palin really covetous of the East Coast liberal elite lifestyle? Is she a spy for mainstream America that is attempting to infiltrate the domain of the liberal elite? Please Sarah, do tell.

Today’s song parody is derived from Billy Joel’s Scenes From An Italian Restaurant. Palin’s swanky dinner seems the perfect setting for a dittie concerning the rumors of her marital problems and husband Todd’s aggressive behavior towards Levi Johnston. Please enjoy.

Scenes From An Italian Restaurant song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_27TGdbLdj8

SCENES FROM A NEW YORK RESTAURANT

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant”)

A bottle of white, and Palin’s still wed
But if looks could kill Todd would be stone dead
They’re at a table near the street
In that fancy New York place
Stifled cries – face to face hm, hm
A bottle of red, a mouthful of spite
They’re at Michaels in Manhattan tonight
SarahPAC money she will flaunt

In that elitist restaurant.

(musical interlude)

It’s not okay with she these days
She don’t have a job, no elective office
Might be an ex-wife, needs a new life
Can she use a life line?

Oh, she lost touch long ago
Shoveling hate, just like snow
But she paid a hefty price while on the state dime.

Does she remember those days of Arctic Cat and snow-machines?
Red leather boots, leather jackets and tight blue jeans
Oh, and all those lines that she tossed about unwed pregnant teens
Big tears, loud fights, Bristol’s romantic teenage nights ooh, ooh

(musical interlude)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Sarah and First Dude forced down all of that good food
Like the great dad and the hockey mom
Smiles all around, winking eyes so brown, putting a good show on
Good looking state forty-niners
Far more accustomed to Wasilla diners
They never knew we could sense all their trouble and strife
But it was evident Palins don’t know a spoon from a knife.

Oh, oh, oh, oh…

Sarah and First Dude are tricky and so shrewd that’s how they learned to survive
But where was her husband when she quit on the third of July?
Everyone knows Sarah’s crazy
Todd hasn’t a job because he’s lazy
And Sarah is now enchanted by big city life
Oh, we remember wavin’ ole Sarah Palin goodbye
Oh, oh, oh

Well she’ll get an apartment with wolf-hide carpet
So long as her neighbors aren’t queer
She might dye red, that beehive on her head
Or buy a new wig down at Sears
The Big Apple she’ll bite with her friends that are white
But she’ll never escape all the jeers
Oh, oh yeah lock and load
Oh, oh, oh

(musical interlude)

Well, she’ll live for a while the elitist lifestyle
But soon it will come to an end
Just like her divorce it will happen, of course
Then she’ll call on her SarahPAC friends
You see, the Wasilla queen will be lacking in green
So she will rob her supporters again
Oh, oh

Sarah’s unsteady, we knew it already when she sported that slutty beehive
From her highs to her lows and her fake Sixpack Joes
She could never survive
She likes to shout cheers from the bleachers
When she’s not being blessed by witchcraft preachers
And Todd’s still tryin’ to put a bullet in Levi
Oh, and that’s all we know about Sarah and First Dude

It went from big cheers to getting themselves booed
And here we are wavin’ Sarah and First Dude goodbye
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh

Yeah

A bottle of red, a mouthful of spite
She will choke on her food here tonight
She’ll order anything she wants
At Michael’s New York restaurant.