Daily Archives: August 2, 2009

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 6 (UPDATED)

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BREAKING NEWS: Philandering Republican State Senator from Tennessee, Paul Stanley has finally resigned. No word on the identity of his next 20 year old mistress.

THIS JUST IN: This week, while appearing on the morning “Fox and Friends” television show, reich-wing pundit Glenn Beck said of President Obama, “This president has exposed himself as a guy over and over and over again who has a deep-seated hatred for white people… this guy is, I believe, a racist.” A mere 75 seconds later on the same show Beck said, “I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people…” What is he saying then?

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Louisiana Senator David Vitter said this last Thursday, “I’m on the side of conservatives getting back to core conservative values,”. This coming from a diaper wearing prostitute patron. Is he referring to kinky hooker sex as those “core conservative values”?

THIS JUST IN: Former Idaho Republican Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig who was arrested and convicted of soliciting sex from a male police officer in an airport bathroom stall, is currently employed as a lobbyist with The American Petroleum Institute as a client. Rumor has it that his pay comes in the form of tubes of petroleum jelly.

BREAKING NEWS: Actor William Shatner has just been named America’s Poet Laureate by President Barack Obama as the result of his recent recitals which can be seen here and here.

Please stay tuned to Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off for more breaking news and updates as they happen.

UPDATE: The most recent Palin rumors of divorce etc. are too good to be true. We will keep you updated via song ASAP.

Remember to click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Every Kind Of People song link: http://www.ilike.com/artist/Robert+Palmer/track/Every+Kinda+People

EVERY KIND OF PEOPLE

(sung to the Robert Palmer version of the song “Every Kind Of People”)

The far right always competes
They all lie and then misspeak
Try to keep their jobs
Fighting to land a spot on Fox

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

We’re not sure Glenn Beck can read
Is Ann Coulter a he or is it a she?
O’Reilly seems so damn uptight
Limbaugh cannot keep a wife

Though they profit by deceit
Honest men know that
Fox will suffer defeat
If you’re anything but white
Fox News will insult you with delight

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

(musical interlude)

You know that hate’s their only goal
They learned that long ago from Bob Dole
Hey, and they are all insane
Looking to always pass the blame

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
It takes every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout
It takes very kind of people