Daily Archives: July 27, 2009

Palin And The Press

Palin-and-the-press

Just when you think that you are finally free of her, Sarah Palin reaches out, grabs you and drags you right back on to her planet. She gave her resignation (er, quitting) address yesterday and could not restrain herself from taking another shot at the press. She said:

And first, some straight talk for some, just some in the media because another right protected for all of us is freedom of the press, and you all have such important jobs reporting facts and informing the electorate, and exerting power to influence.  You represent what could and should be a respected honest profession that could and should be the cornerstone of our democracy.  Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that’s why our troops are willing to die for you.  So, how ’bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin’ things up.

Huh? She failed of course, to give even one concrete example of the press “makin’ things up” about her or her family, so we must only speculate as to what she could have meant.

Let’s see, could it be that she couldn’t name a Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade? No, that was true. She could not.

Could it have been when they stated that she could not name a single newspaper, magazine or periodical that she reads? No, that was also true.

Could it be that the press exposed the fact that her teenaged unwed daughter was pregnant? No, in fact she volunteered that spicy tidbit herself before a national audience.

It must have been when the press falsely reported that it took her six years and five colleges before she earned her college degree. Nope, that was true also. To her credit though, even though she quit four colleges, she only quit one elected office.

If it is none of the above, then just what did the press make up about her and her family. When asked that precise question, Sarah Palin’s response was…

I’ll have to get back to ya on that

Oh, Sarah? We are still waiting.

Click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

You’re So Vain song link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3dzr8_youre-so-vain-carly-simon_music

YOU’RE  SO LAME

(sung to the Carly Simon song, “You’re So Vain

You’re in the G.O.P. party
You think of yourself as a big shot
Your rimless glasses in front of your two eyes
Your shoes are a polka dot
You’re a fashion disaster, like
A whore in the parking lot
And John McCain dreamed that he’d be your partner
He’d be your partner, but

You’re so lame
You probably thought you’d win the election
You’re to blame
For causing massive voter rejection
Yes you. Yes you.

You hurried back to Alaska
Where you were still known as the Guv
You showed your disdain for the Legislature
You thought you could push and shove
But they taught you a thing or two
When they shot down Wayne Ross
Now there’s your problem with mass ethics complaints
Mass ethics complaints, and

You’re so lame
You’ll never win another election
You’re to blame
For Bristol’s failure to use protection

Now there’s your problem with mass ethics complaints
Mass ethics complaints, and

You’re so lame
You’ll never win another election
You’re to blame
For Bristol’s failure to use protection
Yes you. Yes you.

Well, I hear you flew down to NYC
And took little Bristol along
You need to mend some fences with the G.O.P.
While Bristol sings her abstinence song
With the Fox News folks you’ll wine and dine
And take a photo or two
Then you’ll return to Alaska as a disaster
As a disaster, and

You’re so lame
You’ll never win another election
You’re to blame
For Bristol’s failure to use protection
Yes you. Yes you.

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Ann Coulter – Man On The Run

Coulter playboy

Look at those feminine hands.

Is she gone yet? Has Sarah Palin finally left the building? Thank goodness. Now we can return to lambasting all the other Reich Wing politicians and pundits for awhile before we dissect and analyze the Palin farewell address. So, without further adieu…

Of all the guys out there, who do you believe is the most acerbic, racist, homophobic right-wing pundit? Here, at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off, we believe that it is Ann Coulter. This guy is so terrifying that he scares our pets when he appears on television. If there was ever a true right-wing boogeyman, this guy is it.

He outdid himself two weeks ago on the Fox Network’s Glenn Beck show when he stated, “being black trumps being an insect.” Even Beck was convinced that Coulter’s rhetoric,     ” has spiraled out of control.” Here is the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pglUjpH7whQ

Coulter jumped the shark a long time ago (perhaps when he called John Edwards “a faggot”), nevertheless the folks at Fox News keep his star burning. He is a regular guest on not only Beck’s program, but also on Hannity and The O’Reilly Factor. His appearances however, seem calculated only to market his newest liberal trashing book rather than to advance any original coherent argument on behalf of the right wing cause. Indeed some of his quotes inadvertantly point out the absurdity of the conservative movement and may serve to steer voters away from the Republican Party. Let’s look at a few:

If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms”?

or

“These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husband’s deaths so much.” -on 9/11 widows who have been critical of the Bush administration

and

“We just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.” –arguing that it would be better if we were all Christian

and of course, our favorite

“I’m more of a man than any liberal.”

No argument from us on that that last quote of his. In fact, there have been rumors circulating on the internets tubes for some time now which advance the proposition that Ann Coulter is actually a male. Most of these articles focus on a few missing years during his adolescence when he presumably left the country to have a sex change operation overseas. The articles also often draw attention to his pronounced Adam’s Apple and masculine looking hands. Additionally, it is frequently pointed out that he has never been married or had children.

Here at Blast-Off, we have no idea as to the credibility of the Mann Coulter rumors. We do, however hope said rumors are true because of the wealth of satirical material which such a situation would spawn. As you can guess, we really do not like Ann Coulter or anything he has to say. So, without further adieu, let’s have a song…
Remember to click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Band On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7D65IomNYY

M’ANN ON THE RUN

(sung to the Paul McCartney and Wings song “Band On The Run”)

Just a boy with no balls, thinking that he’s clever,
Never havin’ no fun nights again, quite true,
Coulter you, Coulter you.

(musical interlude)

Spreading his politics of fear,
Hating you if you’re Black or gay,
Not a hint of veracity,
Does not know any other way
A transsexual without peer.
A transsexual without peer.

Well the rain exploded with a mighty crash when the Coulters had a son,
And before you know it he was growing his hair but he put it in a bun
M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run
Coulter had a plan not to be a man. A sex change would be so fun

For the M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run,

Next he put mascara on his manly eyes, but he lacked a curvy bum
And as he was singing, he let down his hair. He was having so much fun
M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run
Coulter had a plan not to be a man. A sex change would be so fun

Yeah the M’Ann on the run, the M’Ann on the run,
Yeah the M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run

Well, Fox News was calling as the right-wing world produced another clown
And the sound he’s making, unbalanced not fair, rumbles through the underground
M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run

Always touting “Drudge” and loves to judge
Research reveals this bore

He’s a M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run,