Daily Archives: July 25, 2009

Sarah Palin a/k/a Big Shot

Sarah_Palin_allofem

The Anti-Palin Funny Song Blog Marathon continues all weekend long here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. That’s right, we will post anti-Palin songs and articles at a breathtaking pace for the next 48 hours in an attempt to keep you amused and informed during the final days of the Reign of Sarah Palin.

It is hard to believe that the short-lived but greatly divisive governorship of Sarah Palin is over. Thankfully, we will retain our memories of her hapless hijinks. The next several blog entries and song parodies will commemorate many of the Palin era lowlights. Please check back frequently as new entries will be posted rapidly in an attempt to keep you fully entertained prior to Caribou Barbie’s resignation speech. Also too, please leave a comment or three as they are always appreciated.

The following song parody is from Billy Joel. Please enjoy.

Click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Big Shot song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5cuXFvPTY8

BIG SHOT

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Big Shot”)

Well, you went off campaigning with ol’ John McCain
With your new G.O.P. purchased clothes
You had that beehive hairstyle on your head
And high heels for your toes
Ooh,, and when you woke up in the mornin’
With your bub-ble burst
And tears pouring out of your eyes
We know “Thanks But No Thanks” was just

Another one of your lies

Because you had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had to open up your mouth
You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
Now your smile’s become a pout
You talked a lot of Reverend Wright
But all you did was scream and shout
You showed us that you’re way too uptight
You tried to be a big shot that night (Ooh oh)

And no one was impressed with your wolf hide dress
Just because you shot the wolves from a plane
And nobody could have really cared less
That you can see the Ukraine
But now you just don’t remember
The dumb things you said
And I’m damn sure you don’t want to know
I’ll give you one hint, Barbie

I think you got plumbed by Joe!

Yes, yes, you had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had the SarahPac girls wowed
Your nose was running pig-snot, oh ya
Hockey mom without a doubt
Your interviews were such a sad sight
Your so much fun to be around
You had to have the front page, bold type
Upstaging McCain most every night, (Ooh oh)

Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa who-oo-oo-oo-ah,
Oh Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa.

Well, it’s no big sin to stick your two cents in
If you’re talking to someone that’s grown
But your attacking Levi
Because he was on the Tyra Banks Show
No, no, no, no, no, no

You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had to badmouth that young boy
You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
Just because you were annoyed
You had to have the last word, that’s right
You know what everything’s about
But still we know that Levi spent nights
Sleeping at your house within your sight, Oh oh

Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa
Big shot…Big shot… Big shot…Mmmm…Big shot…Whoa whoa
Big shot…

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The Sarah Palin Song You’ve Been Waiting For!!!

Sarah Palin gives history lesson to SarahPAC members.

Sarah Palin gives history lesson to SarahPAC members.

The Anti-Palin Funny Song Blog Marathon continues all weekend long here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. That’s right, we will post anti-Palin songs and articles at a breathtaking pace for the next 48 hours in an attempt to keep you amused and informed during the final days of the Reign of Sarah Palin.

It is hard to believe that the short-lived but greatly divisive governorship of Sarah Palin is over. Thankfully, we will retain our memories of her hapless hijinks. The next several blog entries and song parodies will commemorate many of the Palin era lowlights. Please check back frequently as new entries will be posted rapidly in an attempt to keep you fully entertained prior to Caribou Barbie’s resignation speech. Also too, please leave a comment or three as they are always appreciated.

The following song parody is one that we have wanted to pen for a long time because of the original’s lengthy lyrics and popularity. We did not want to waste it on a pithy subject, but the end of Palin’s Reign of Terror seems worthy. Please enjoy a parody of Don McLean‘s 1971 hit single, American Pie. You might even want to print the words and distribute it to your friends and family so that you can have a sing-along at your Palin Farewell Parties. Better yet, if you are Alaskan, you could have that sing-along at one of Barbie’s Official Picnics this weekend.

Click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHvDTUSd1Ws

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still go with the flow?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Sarah Palin, Alaskan With A View

sarah-palin-prison-break

The Anti-Palin Funny Song Blog Marathon continues all weekend long here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. That’s right, we will post anti-Palin songs and articles at a breathtaking pace for the next 48 hours in an attempt to keep you amused and informed during the final days of the Reign of Sarah Palin.

It is hard to believe that the short-lived but greatly divisive governorship of Sarah Palin is over. Thankfully, we will retain our memories of her hapless hijinks. The next several blog entries and song parodies will commemorate many of the Palin era lowlights. Please check back frequently as new entries will be posted rapidly in an attempt to keep you fully entertained prior to Caribou Barbie’s resignation speech. Also too, please leave a comment or three as they are always appreciated.

The following song parody is in the form of an open letter to Lady Sarah herself. Please enjoy.

Click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Maggie May song link: http://ikiecrop.vodspot.tv/watch/692527-the-faces-maggie-may

SARAH MAY

(sung to Rod Stewart’s song “Maggie May”)

Wake up Sarah I think we’ve got something to say to you
Since last September you’ve really acted like a praying fool
The First Dude’s really a joke.
Not to mention your other kinfolk.
Oh, Sarah I wish we’d never seen your face
You’ve disgraced our wonderful home
Time has come for you to be de-throned
You reflect on us and that’s what really hurts

The morning sun when its in your face really shows your age
I’m sure that worries you some, cuz in your eyes you’re everything
You’re so damn full of yourself
Without a care for anyone else
Oh, Sarah your faults can’t be covered by paper and lace
You’ve disgraced our wonderful home
Got pranked by Sar-ko-zy on the phone
And you’ve cast your lot with the likes of Ol’ Wayne Ross

What we needed was a Guv who was a role model
But you’re a backwoods “Hockey Mom” and
Mother what a bum, you’ll be thrown out
Levi Sleepin’ in Bristol’s bed
Renewed support for Old Uncle Ted
Oh, Sarah you’re bringing down the human race
You’ve disgraced our wonderful home
A lipsticked pitbull with a poisonous bone

Politics of hate are something we can live without

(Musical Interlude)

I suppose with all your fancy clothes you’ll be a game show host
Or use some common sense and have your mental state diagnosed
Or become a lobbying rat, and work for “Arctic Cat”
Oh, Sarah just leave and take along your base
You made first-class fools out of us
In school you must have rode that short bus
You stole our hearts then threw that love away!

(Musical Interlude)

Sarah, I wish we’d never seen your face
We’ll get our pride back one of these days