Daily Archives: July 2, 2009

The Many Loves Of Mark Sanford

Governor Mark Sanford and his lover at the airport.

Governor Mark Sanford and his lover at the airport.

It appears that the Mark Sanford affair (pun intended) has the legs (yes, this pun is also intended) to keep going for a few more news cycles. Now we have learned that Sanford and God himself have been talking. God feels that Mark should continue to preside as governor of South Carolina just as King David continued to rule after his adultery. Who knew?

We have also learned that Sanford was not only dallying with Evita, but that he had a handful of other girlfriends. Prehaps when he is driven from office, he can assemble them all together under his employ as a pimp? This guy is simply a falling house of cards.

Please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTiyLuZOs1A

50 WAYS TO SEE YOUR LOVER LOVER

(sung to the Paul Simon song “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”)

“The problem took place within his bed”, Mark said to me
The cheatin’ was easy it came to him naturally
He went AWOL in his struggle to be free
There must be 50 ways to see your lover

Mark said he got a few good tips from “The First Dude”
Furthermore, the thought of sneaking round puts him in a good mood
Mark likes to treat himself with gals that are not prudes
There must be 50 ways to see your lover
50 ways to see your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
Be a good boy toy
Avoid the TV
Hop on the trail, Gail
Don’t be leavin’ no snail trail
Just grab the car keys, Lee
Get out of S.C.

Ooo take a back-pack, Jack
Take a state van, Stan
Bring a sex toy, Roy
Keep your secrecy
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t want to discuss much
Exit nonchalantly
Get out of S.C.

He said you might consider flying in a plane
But slipping your detail at airports can be a big pain
Mark said the pesky press will insist that you explain
About your missing days

He said you might try shaving while you are in flight
The gals seem to like that gesture most especially at night
Mark said he just speaks up and tells his wife to go fly a kite
There must be 50 ways to see your lover
50 ways to see your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
Be a good boy toy
Avoid the TV
Hop on the trail, Gail
Don’t be leavin’ no snail trail
Just grab the car keys, Lee
Get out of S.C.

Ooo take a back-pack, Jack
Take a state van, Stan
Bring a sex toy, Roy
Keep your secrecy
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t want to discuss much
Exit nonchalantly
Get out of S.C.

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Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme Songs – 21

Sarah_television2

Inasmuch as Sarah Palin fancies herself the outdoorsy type, we thought we might spoof her with the classic 1960’s theme song from television’s Daniel Boone.

Daniel Boone theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ1QUwgn4Pw

SARAH P.

(sung to the theme of “Daniel Boone”)

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a lame guv.
But McCain was even lamer,
so should we really blame her, golly gee

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a dumb guv.
But the First Dude was dumber,
so she summoned “Joe the Plumber” to the scene.

From the beehive do on the top of her head
To the spike of her high heel shoes;
Like a zombie from “Night of the Living Dead”,
She looked so damn confused.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a slick guv.
In an attempt to win her hicks back;
Her speeches addressed “Joe Sixpack’ all the time.

Drivin’ witches out with prayer!
A one-time Wasilla mayor, was she!

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a big guv.
But the legislature’s bigger;
With a lot more vim and vigor than she.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a gun guv.
She loved aerial shootin’;
And would love to blast Mike Wooten form a tree!

She said, “Thanks But No Thanks” and “Drill Baby Drill”
But beyond that had nothin’ to say;
During interviews, she just should have sat still,
Was upstaged by Tina Fey

Sarah P. was a guv.
Was a fine guv.
But Murkowski is finer;
And not nearly such a whiner is she!