Mark Sanford (and Son)! (Updated)

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republicans, the gift that keeps on giving. Now batting, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Where do we begin? Sanford disappears for six days and neither his family nor his staff have any idea as to his whereabouts. The press catches on to the case of the missing governor and so his staff makes up a story that Sanford needed to clear his head by means of hiking the Appalachian Trail.

That fabrication unravels, however when an unidentified South Carolina law enforcement official informs CNN that Sanford’s vehicle has been parked at the airport for several days. Next, airport officials confirm that Sanford has just re-entered the United States from Argentina. What up with that? Finally, we learn today that Sanford has lately been borrowing law enforcement vehicles in the middle of the night for sojourns to parts unknown. Sounds like a little head shrinking may be in order. Or, perhaps he just has a girlfriend like so many other of the “Family Values” Republicans. In any event, this example of irrational behavior should put an end to any Presidential aspirations that Sanford may have harbored for 2012.

UPDATE

Suspicions confirmed. Mark Sanford was traveling with his mistress. We can now update our list of Republican “Family Values” adulterers.

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe) and Mark Sanford.

Batting next for the Republicans, Mittwit Romney.

Please click on the song link below so as to have more fun singing along.

Sweet Caroline song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmV_YJm5jAc

SOUTH CAROLINE

(sung to the Neil Diamond song “Sweet Caroline”)

Where he began, we can’t begin to know where
But we do know that something’s wrong
Does Sanford drink?
Is this guy dumb or dumber?
Will Mark next fly off to Hong Kong?

Vans, minivans, roams about
Losing me, losing you
South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

Why, oh why?
Is he all-right, is the guv’nor so lonely?
Where will he next wander off to?
Maybe Frankfurt?
Frankfurt or maybe Boulder?
Not Pennsylvania Avenue

Done, he’s now done, petered out
He should be, in the zoo
South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

(musical interlude)

South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?

South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?

South Caroline

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Posted on June 24, 2009, in Bobby Jindal, David Vitter, John Ensign, John McCain, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Mark Sanford, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republican, Sarah Palin, Songs, Tim Pawlenty, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. It’s not so much the lying and the cheating-Republican politicians need to win elections-but the unrelenting sappyness. Who can bear the sight of these sissy chickenhawks sobbing every time they get caught with their pants down?

    God help us if Lindsey Graham ever gets caught (doing anything). As it is, he always looks like he’s going to burst into tears at any second.

    Anyway, Sanford likes his solitude-he just doesn’t like being alone!

  2. I am in awe of your talent. You are the master of spoofing these idiots. Bravo!

  3. Another example of Republican Family Values……

  1. Pingback: Sanford Emails: The Governor Mark Sanford Affair | Wide Trends

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