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Hooray!!! The Sarah Palin Comedy Show Redux !!!

Hold on to your seats folks. The fun may be set to begin again. Just when you thought you had laughed at every clown in the Koch Bros. and Tea Party Flying Circus, we may have a new entertainer re-emerging. No, not Herman Cain. Nope, not Chris Christie. We are not even speaking of The Donald. We may have ourselves a genuine mental case resurfacing in the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Ladies and gentlemen please rise and put your hands together for none other than “The Alaska Disaster”, “The Queen of Quit”, Sarah Palin!

Seriously. This is not a joke. While appearing on Fox News (where else?) last night, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said that she may enter the race despite her firm pronouncement to the contrary on October 5th. When asked by the host whether anybody else might still get involved in the presidential race, Palin said “It’s not too late for folks to jump in. Who knows what will happen in the future.”

Bloggers everywhere are now salivating. There is nothing more entertaining than watching Sarah Palin make a public fool of herself as she tries to make a point. Remember the time when she was speaking at that farm while a poor turkey was having his head chopped off right behind her? How about the time she was caught with crib-notes  written on her hand during a televised interview? Who will ever forget the time that she completely botched the purpose and method of Paul Revere’s famous Midnight Ride just after she visited the Old North church in Boston? Then there was the time when she could not tell a 5th grader what the Vice president does. Most entertaining of all, of course, were her hilarious televised interviews with Katie Couric and Charles Gibson. Ahhh, those halcyon days of Palin!

This may be the best Christmas present many of us could possibly hope for.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday season inspired song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND (Part 2)

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Intellect, you are missing
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
What’s that sound that you’re hissing?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold some books and made a lot of dough, man
They had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland

Palin’s “Undefeated” Suffers Crushing Defeat

Sarah Palin’s attempt at marketing herself by means of a theatrical film is egocentric at best  and flat-out comical at worst. Palin, the greatest self-promoting narcissist this side of Donald Trump and P.T. Barnum commissioned  a conservative filmmaker to make a $1 million feature-length motion picture about her. Real Clear Politics reports that she hired some unknown by the name of Stephen K. Bannon to produce, film and market the ego-stroking movie titled “The Undefeated”  The film is about Palin’s political career up to the point of her disastrous run for the vice presidency in 2008 in which she (and John McCain) were soundly defeated. Inasmuch as Palin was also defeated in the 2002 election for Alaska’s lieutenant-governor, the film’s title appears to be rather misleading.

In “The Undefeated”, Bannon’s (and Palin’s) goal is, as Real Clear Politcs puts it, “to help catapult Palin from the presidential afterthought she has become in the eyes of many pundits directly to the front lines of the 2012 GOP conversation.” That website also reports that although Palin is not interviewed directly, the film features on-camera interviews and commentaries from 10 Alaskans who played different roles in her political rise, as well as six Lower 48 denizens who defend her in more visceral terms, including prominent conservative firebrands Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart and Tammy Bruce. How is that for a trio of radical propagandists? The film extols every one of Palin’s minor successes but fails to even make mention of the less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric. But really, would you expect anything different from Palin? She does not take criticism well and always portrays herself as a victim.

One major obstacle to the film’s goal of re-booting the Palin image however, is that next to nobody will ever actually view the film. The movie opened yesterday, but distributors put the film in just 10 AMC theaters nationwide, mostly in reliably conservative markets like Dallas, Texas and Orange County in southern California. Adding insult to injury, it does not appear that even those hand-picked theatres can attract an audience. For instance, Conor Friedersdorf of The Atlantic reports that only he and two other patrons attended the opening screening at the Orange County, CA theatre (and the other two folks left after only 20 minutes). Friedersdorf reports that after the movie concluded,

“I found a theater manager, told him I was a reporter, and asked if he could give me numbers about ticket sales. ‘Did anyone pay and not show up?’ He said that they’d sold out all the Harry Potter movies until 2 a.m., and that all 5,000 seats looked full. ‘No,’ I said, ‘I saw the Sarah Palin movie. Do you know the figures for that one?.’ ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘I can’t release sales figures.’”

Yikes. now we know that more people will show-up to view a car accident scene than to watch a film about Palin. It is evident that the former ex-quitting half-term Alaskan Governor’s 15 minutes of fame are over. She has been replaced in the category of moon-bat crazy female Teapublican whacko by Minnesota’s Michele Bachmann. So what does the future hold for Caribou Barbie? Lynnrockets‘ guess is another reality television series.

Perhaps it will be titled, “The Really Biggest Loser”!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

TURN THE PAGE

(sung to the Bob Seger song “Turn The Page”)

On a long and lonesome highway
East of Wasilla
Do we even need to mention
Palin travels with her throng
She’s a winkin’ blinkin’ woman
Who dresses like a sidewalk whore

The big country she is wandering
On book-tour number two
Sarah’s signing books for hours
And she’s counting all her loot
Still, her poll numbers are slidin’
And there’s not much she can do

Hey, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page

Sarah slithers in a Border’s Books
And she mounts her throne
Her supporters in a long queue
They’re donating all they own
They consider it loyalty dues
Tribute  their queen is owed

Most times when you hear her talk
You can’t understand
All those nonsense clichés
Formed in Palin-Land
For those blatant gaffes and blunders
She earns one-hundred grand

Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page

Palin loves the spotlight
Maybe more than Tina Fey
Despite all of her energy
Her fame will fade away
She will become a nobody
Just a slice of yesterday

Sarah’s selfish scheming
And the hate-speak that she spreads
Along with all of those blatant liars,
Fox News talking heads
The Tea Party’s new Penthouse Pet
Sounds like “Uncle Jed”

Ah, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Ya, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
There she goes

Coming Soon To A Theatre Nowhere Near You: Sarah Palin’s “The Undefeated”

Sarah Palin, the greatest self-promoting narcissist this side of Donald Trump and P.T. Barnum has commissioned  a conservative filmmaker to make a feature-length motion picture about her. Real Clear Politics reports that she hired some unknown by the name of Stephen K. Bannon to produce, film and market the ego-stroking movie titled “The Undefeated”  The film is about Palin’s political career up to her disastrous run for the vice presidency in 2008, which is obvious because she (and John McCain) were soundly defeated in that election.

So, who is this Bannon guy? He is a former Goldman Sachs banker who now makes right-wing propaganda films. His previous flops include, “In The Face Of Evil” (about Ronald Reagan); “Generation Zero” (about how 1960′s hippies caused the 2008 economic collapse) and “Fire From The Heartland” (about conservative women such as Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann and Palin). Bannon claims to have won Best Documentary at the Liberty Film Festival, but that festival was formed to give awards to right-wing filmmakers. In short, Stephen K. Bannon is an unaccomplished conservative mouthpiece.

In “The Undefeated”, Bannon’s (and Palin’s) goal is, as Real Clear Politcs puts it, “to help catapult Palin from the presidential afterthought she has become in the eyes of many pundits directly to the front lines of the 2012 GOP conversation.” That website also reports that although Palin is not interviewed directly, the film features on-camera interviews and commentaries from 10 Alaskans who played different roles in her political rise, as well as six Lower 48 denizens who defend her in more visceral terms, including prominent conservative firebrands Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart and Tammy Bruce. How is that for a trio of radical propagandists? The film extols every one of Palin’s minor successes but fails to even make mention of the less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric. did you expect anything different?

The film is likely to be released only in a few small hamlets of radical conservatism, so it is unlikely that most Americans will ever be exposed to it. There is however, a little something in the film that progressives might enjoy. The Real Clear Politics article describes the opening sequence as a fast-paced sequence of clips showing some of the prominent celebrities who have used sexist, derogatory and generally vicious language to describe her. Rosie O’Donnell, Matt Damon, Bill Maher, David Letterman, and Howard Stern all have brief cameos before comedian Louis C.K. goes off on a particularly ugly anti-Palin riff. “I hate her more than anybody,” C.K. says at the end of his tirade, the rest of which is unfit to print in a family-friendly blog.

Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska has had her own reality television series, is a host on Fox News, has embarked on two nationwide book-signing tours and now is the subject of a feature-length motion picture. Nonetheless, she once portrayed President Barack Obama as more of a celebrity than a serious politician. Who does she think she is kidding?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her appointees ignored and her actions abhorred
She’s reduced to shilling for “Arctic Cat”

She gave Levi some lip about visiting Tripp
And Todd’s sister is facing some jailin’
But paternity laws might be the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin

Palin To Arizona To US Senate… Hmmm

Julie Driscoll of Examiner.com has written a very interesting piece.

She speculates that Sarah Palin may have recently purchased a new home in Arizona. By the way, what is it with the Palins and Arizona? First, Sarah Palin ran on the same presidential ticket as an Arizona senator. Next, her sniper-sighted advertisement was associated with the shooting of Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. Not too long thereafter, we were told that former unwed teen mother Bristol Palin had purchased a home in Arizona where she would live while pursuing her college degree at Arizona State University. That whole story proved to be a false alarm of course, when Bristol announced last month that she was moving to Los Angeles to share an apartment with two men while filming (what else but) a reality television series. Now it’s Sarah Palin to Arizona? What gives?

The house in question is described as an “8,000-square-foot, dark-brown stucco home with a guard gate that can keep unwanted visitors away. It has six bedrooms, five bathrooms, a six-car garage, a swimming pool and spa, and a full basement with a home theater, billiards room and wine cellar. Safari Investments LLC paid $1.695 million cash for the home in a deal that appears designed to cloak the identity of a high-profile buyer.” Driscoll says that the “high profile buyer” is rumored to be none other than the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska.

Reason for the change of locale? Driscoll opines that it is so Sarah Palin can run for the US Senate seat being vacated by fellow liar and Republican John Kyl. Kyl you might remember, is the guy who lied on the Senate floor when he said that that 90% of Planned Parenthood services were abortion-related, when in fact, the actual number is 3%. Palin of course, lies about everything from saying “Thanks, but no thanks” to that bridge to nowhere, to suggesting to Katie Couric that she was involved in trade missions with Russia, to proclaiming that the Democratic Party health care reform law included “death panels”. Hence, an Arizona senate seat is the perfect place for a liar.

So what will it be? A run for the presidency? A run for an Arizona senate seat? Or neither? Please do tell, Sarah. Enquiring minds want to know.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgnTU31z7s

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Tea Bagging Racist Ron Paul Announces Run For 2012 Presidency

Ron Paul and his sane supporters.

How appropriate that wacky Republican Ron Paul would announce his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on Friday the 13th. This unlucky day might doom his own campaign while simultaneously bringing bad luck to the other Republican candidates who will lose primary votes to the pied-piper of Tea Party lunatics. Ron Paul is just the type of conservative wild-card that the Democrats were hoping for. He adds to the potential GOP cadre of crackpots like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump, yet he also has the ability to garner enough primary votes to vanquish the chances of some of the more viable Republican candidates. Ron Paul might just be Barack Obama’s best secret weapon.

If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s craziness, consider these tidbits:

-  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

- He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

- He opposes birthright citizenship;

- He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

- He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and

- He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

- “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

- “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

- “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

- “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

- “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking);

In an attempt to deflect criticism regarding these quotes Paul said the documents were authored by ghostwriters, and that while he did not author the challenged passages, he bore “some moral responsibility” for their publication. Gee, do ya think?

Has Ron Paul said anything interesting of late you ask? FoxNews.com reports that in a radio interview Tuesday, Paul said that the U.S. government could have worked with Pakistan to secure Usama bin Laden’s capture instead of unilaterally entering the country and killing him — despite concerns that the Pakistanis could have tipped him off.  Paul said,

“It was absolutely not necessary. What if he had been in a hotel in London? So would we have sent the … helicopters into London because they were afraid the information would get out? No, you don’t want to do that.”

So let’s get this straight. Ron Paul believes that the Pakistani government (which has a history of non-cooperation and outright misleading of the US government) would have been just as cooperative as our longtime ally the British government in apprehending Osama bin Laden. Things that make you say, “Hmm?” Indeed, that wacky statement even raised the hackles of some of his cultishly loyal Tea Baggers. Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips said on his website,

“If there is any doubt that Ron Paul should not even get near the Oval Office, even on a tour of the White House, he has just revealed it. For a Congressman to say the raid to kill the man who is one of the greatest mass murderers of Americans in history was, ‘not necessary,’ is simply nuts.”

Luckily (for us progressives), inasmuch as most members of the Tea Party read the news about as frequently as Sarah Palin (see Katie Couric interview), they will not know about Paul’s statement or Tea Party Nation’s comment thereon. Consequently, they will still support Paul in large numbers. All in all, Ron Paul’s inclusion in the “Koch Bros. and Flying Republican Nomination Circus” is sure to be entertaining fun for the whole family.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Sarah Palin Agrees To Interview With Lamestream Media (sort of)

Day by day it becomes more evident that Sarah Palin will run for President of the United States in 2012. She has admitted that she is considering such a campaign but sometimes actions speak louder than words. This is especially true in reference to Palin who lies so frequently that her words have no credibility. She is however, acting like someone poised to run. Consider that she made sure that early caucus state Iowa was on her recent book signing for profit tour. How about her recent trip to Haiti in an attempt to enhance her foreign policy bona fides? And now we learn that she will give an interview to the hated “lamestream media”.

Yes, you read that correctly. Sarah Palin will be interviewed on “Good Morning America” this Friday by Robin Roberts. You knew that Palin would never agree to be questioned by co-anchor George Stephanopoulos. You might be wondering if this is the first such interview by Palin with a traditional television network since her disastrous and hilarious encounters with Charles Gibson and Katie Couric back in 2008. The answer is a resounding, “Yes”. Truth be told, Palin did appear with Barbara Walters on her “Most Fascinating” special and she also sat with Oprah, but those were mere fluff pieces with no hard-hitting questions. Now, “Good Morning America” is certainly no “Meet The Press” or “Face The Nation”, but it at least has the potential to stump Palin with a few unexpected questions unlike her staged Fox News appearances.

On its website, ABC says that, “Roberts will spend a day-in-the-life with the former governor and mother of five at her home in Wasilla”.  The network also says, “In a wide-ranging interview, Roberts will talk to Palin about her new book “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag,” plus all the major political news of the day, from taxes to health care to foreign policy.” Let’s see just how in depth the questions on taxes, health care and foreign policy will be and whether there will be any serious follow-up questions to Palin’s sure-to-be unintelligible answers.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season song parody which was requested by a loyal Rocketeer.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU

RUDOLPH’S BEEN GUNNED DOWN BY SARAH PALIN

(sung to the Christmas song “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

She was drunk on brandy-eggnogs
Like Rudolph’s nose, she did glow
Mixing booze with her medication
So like a dead fish “she went with the flow”

She went out that chilly morning
With her gun strapped to her back
Bullets as lethal as warheads
All the best equipment bought by SarahPAC

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Tea-Baggers are so proud of Sarah
Santa Claus can go to hell
With her they are having a ball
Making signs and shouting words that they can’t spell

Palin is one bad-ass grandma
A big fence surrounds her shack
And with Todd the dumb Boy-Wonder
They will fight-off “lamestram media” attacks

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

On her show which airs on cable
Also on her Fox News gig
Sarah sports those trashy sandals
Just like putting bright red “lipstick on a pig”

Sarah lacks both friends and neighbors
She scares them with bullet shells
And she hunts without a license
Sarah Palin will do anything that sells

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

(sing it Sarah!)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Sarah Palin Is Not Tina’s Fey(vorite) Person

America as a nation owes a substantial debt of gratitude to Tina Fey. This wonderful woman did more to reveal the ridiculousness of Sarah Palin during the 2008 Presidential election campaign than did any single member of the “lamestream” media. OK, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric also did their part. Nevertheless, it was Tina Fey who made it all so humorously memorable. Who will ever forget when she gave a spot-on Palin impersonation and said, “I can see Alaska from my house” or “Katie, I’d like to use one of my lifelines, I’d like to phone a friend”?

How about when she simply parroted the near exact words of Sarah Palin giving an answer during the Katie Couric interview on the subject of the bank bailout which Palin was in favor of before she was against it? If you do not remember that, do not worry. Here it is the original and the Tina Fey version for your viewing pleasure. (For the second video you will be prompted to click on the YouTube link.)

Thanks for the memories, Tina.

Well, lucky for us, Tina Fey is not quite done ribbing Palin. Fey was awarded the 2010 Mark Twain Prize for Humor a few weeks ago and she went at Sarah Palin yet again. Upon accepting the award, she said the following:

I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight. My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me. And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women – except, of course –those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years – whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know – actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.

You just have to love Tina Fey. Brava!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 60

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Senate Democrats are confident they have at least 60 votes for a Defense Department authorization measure that includes a repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) has threatened to filibuster the policy, which bans openly gay people from serving in the military, but his threat is toothless if more than 60 votes are in favor of the repeal. John McCain’s staunch defense of the discriminating policy has assured that he will be remembered throughout history like George Wallace when he was the final defender of racial segregation. A bigoted dinosaur.

THIS JUST IN: After meeting with President Barack Obama Thursday, Democratic leaders in Congress said they plan to hold a series of politically charged votes to extend middle-class tax cuts while letting tax cuts for the wealthy expire. The Democrats are finally showing that they do,in fact, have a backbone. Such a vote will force Republicans to vote against a middle class tax cut which will prove to the nation that they care more for the wealthy than the working class.

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of  Republican lack of concern for the working class took place Thursday when the G.O.P. blocked an effort to maintain federal unemployment insurance (UI) benefits, making a lapse in benefits all but certain when they expire at the end of the month. Consequently, on November 30th 800,000 people unable to  find work in an economy with five job hunters for every one job will lose this critical help that keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table. By the end of the year, 2 million jobless will be without help and another 1 million a month will lose their benefits beginning next year.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Telling The Truth Only When Out Of Office” features recently defeated Rep. Bob Inglis of South Carolina. Inglis is now blasting the GOP for using “racism” to whip voters into a frenzy, for “following those personalities [such as Fox News host Glenn Beck] and not leading,” and for deceiving voters with conspiracy theories about death panels and “preying on their fears.” At a House subcommittee hearing on climate change this Thursday, Inglis mocked his Republican colleagues for refusing to acknowledge the truth and danger of global warming, saying, “They slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night, and they’re experts on climate change. They substitute their judgment for people who have Ph.D.s and work tirelessly [on climate change].” Watch this:

BREAKING NEWS: We posted this clip earlier in the week, but anytime that a Fox News host describes Sarah Palin as “self defecating” is worth repeating. Please enjoy Gretchen Carlson accidentally speaking the truth.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is calling for the waterboarding of a blogger that leaked excerpts of her yet to be released book. Yes, “waterboarding”. Palin authored the following Twitter tweet and then quickly removed it (but not before it was captured here). Imagine how the trigger-happy Palin would overreact with that little red button if she were ever Commander in Chief!

BREAKING NEWS: As long as we are on the subject of Sarah Palin, this week’s episode of “Hypocrite Of The Week” features you know who. This week Palin criticized Republican Rep. Spencer Bachus of Alabama, saying that because Bachus supported “the Bachus bigger government agenda,” it was “no wonder he’s not thrilled with people like me.” She cited Bachus’ votes for the Wall Street bailout and the cash-for-clunkers program as proof he was no “commonsense conservative.” However, in the two years since Palin was the Republican vice presidential candidate, the former Alaska governor has pulled a 180 regarding her position on the Wall Street bailout enacted by President George W. Bush. In the midst of the 2008 financial crisis, Palin held that now infamous interview with CBS News‘ Katie Couric, and she endorsed the bailout. The exchange was odd because Palin provided a confusing reply, inexplicably tying the bank bailout to health care reform, but it was clear she favored the bailout (as did Sen. John McCain). Shall we watch it and laugh?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Bush-Whacked” co-stars former First lady Barbara Bush and Sarah Palin. The former appeared on Larry King’s television program this week and said of the latter, “I sat next to her once. Thought she was beautiful. And she’s very happy in Alaska, and I hope she’ll stay there.”

BREAKING NEWS: Massachusetts’ women voters will be particularly interested in learning that their newly elected Republican Senator and nudist Scott Brown voted this week to block the Paycheck Fairness Act. The law would have amended the portion of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (FLSA) known as the Equal Pay Act so that women would receive equal pay for equal work. It appears that Scott Brown believes sex discrimination is good for business.

Scott Brown in his Senate office.

GO PACKERS!!!

Centerfold song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNhnThb8gEw

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(REPEAT)

Christine O’Donnell’s “All Of Them Any Of Them” Moment

 

O'Donnell when asked to name a Supreme Court decision.

 

Wow! Did you Rocketeers see the Christine O’Donnell/Chris Coons debate on CNN last night? If that performance by O’Donnell did not put the final death-inducing stake in her candidacy’s heart, then… Oh, wait a second there, wrong analogy. Let’s try again. If that performance by O’Donnell did not resemble death-inducing water being poured upon this witch’s candidacy, then what will?

Neither the debate moderators nor Chris Coons even delved into the juicy stuff that the witchcraft dabbling, satanic-alter dating, non-masturbating, meatball-loving would-be Hare Krishna must have feared would surface during the debate. There was no need to. Christine O’Donnell committed political suicide simply by either failing to answer the position questions that she was asked, or by contradicting herself repeatedly. She truly displayed a Palinesque ability to make a fool of herself in a situation where she was forced to answer un-screened questions.

In future posts, Lynnrockets will comment upon many of the witchy woman’s blunders but today we will focus on her Sarah Palin inspired “all of them any of them” moment. Everyone remembers back in 2008 when Palin was asked by Katie Couric in a nationally televised interview, “What other (i.e. other than Roe v. Wade) Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?” The completely dumbfounded Palin answered, “Ummmmm, well let’s see, in the course of the great history of America there have been rulings that there’s never gonna be consensus by every American and there are those issues again like Roe v. Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there, there would be others”. Kouric then followed-up with the completely unfair “gotcha question”, “Can you think of any?” To which Palin responded, ” Well, I would think of, of any again that could best be dealt with on a more local level that maybe I would take issue with. But, UMMM, as a mayor and then as a governor and even as a Vice President if I’m so privileged to serve, would be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today”. Translation? Sarah Palin was incapable of naming even one other Supreme Court decision.

That Palin gaffe was so widely spread across this great nation of ours that one would think that any serious future candidate for public office would hone-up on a few Supreme Court decisions. But we are talking about Tea Party darling Christine O’Donnell. She adores her “Mama Grizzly” so much that when asked exactly the same question, she mimicked her mentor to a “tea”. Let’s go to the transcript, shall we?

KARIBJANIAN:  Well, we’ve talked about the Supreme Court, and obviously a United States senator has the opportunity to determine in a way the make-up of that court.  So what opinions of late that have come from our high court do you most object to?

O’DONNELL:  Oh, gosh.  Give me a specific one, I’m sorry.

KARIBJANIAN:  Actually, I can’t, because I need you to tell me which ones you object to.

O’DONNELL:  I’m very sorry.  Right off the top of my head, I know that there are a lot, but I’ll put it up on my Web site, I promise you.

BLITZER:  Well, we know you disagree with Roe versus Wade.

O’DONNELL:  Yes, but that was — she said a recent one.

BLITZER:  Well, that’s relatively recent.

O’DONNELL:  She said, of late. Yes, well, Roe versus Wade would not put the power — sorry, it’s 30 (ph)…(CROSSTALK)

BLITZER:  But since then,  have there been any other…(LAUGHTER) BLITZER:  … Supreme Court decisions?

O’DONNELL:  Well, let me say, about Roe versus Wade, Roe versus Wade, if that were overturned, would not make abortion illegal in the United States, it would put the power back to the states.

BLITZER:  But besides that decision, anything else you disagree with?

O’DONNELL:  Oh, there are several, when it comes to pornography,
when it comes to court decisions, not just Supreme Court, but federal
court decisions to give terrorists Miranda-ized rights.

I mean, there are a lot of things that I believe that — this California decision to overturn “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell,” I believe that there are a lot of federal judges who are legislating from the bench.

BLITZER:  That wasn’t the Supreme Court, it’s a lower court.

O’DONNELL:  That was a federal judge — that’s what I said, in
California.

Incredible! With over two years of preparation for that question, Christine O’Donnell was still unprepared to name a Supreme Court decision. Things could only have been funnier if O’Donnell was asked to name the newspapers or magazines that she reads so as to stay abreast of the news and she parroted the Palin answer, “All of them any of them”. If “imitation is the best form of flattery”, then Sarah Palin should be gushing with pride this morning.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Lady Madonna song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rlCNswKvk8

CRAZY O’DONNELL

(sung to the Beatles song “Lady Madonna”)

Crazy O’Donnell, headed for defeat
Sarah Palin’s pal is a dumb dead-beat
Use donor’s money when you pay your rent
Did you think that money was heaven sent?

Every night you prove you are a fruit-cake
Every morning you blame everyone
Come November 2 when you lose your race
Where will you run?

Crazy O’Donnell, you sure failed your test
You and you’re Tea Party are such a mess

Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da…
You’re dead and done

Crazy O’Donnell, all those things you said
About not masturbating in your own bed

Thank God your campaign will soon be ending
Then you can go back where you came from
The things you said we were not comprehending
Not even one

Crazy O’Donnell, could not take the heat
Now we laugh as she goes down in defeat.

Sarah Palin: A Twittering Chronic Facebook Malcontent

The E*Trade Baby is perplexed by Palin.

In light of this week’s flurry of childlike Twitter tweets against both Alan Grayson and new White House Chief of Staff, Pete Rouse, it is painfully obvious that Sarah Palin will disagree with any Democratic Party member’s words or actions simply to provide an opposition. If a Democrat claimed that the earth is round, she would say it is not. If a Democrat said he had dinner in the evening, she would say that it was consumed in the morning. Her tactic is quite reminiscent of the “bridge to nowhere” situation when she said “thanks” before saying “thanks, but no thanks”.

It is not surprising however, that the former half-term ex-quitting Governor of Alaska only utilizes the sophomoric forms of communication known as Twitter and Facebook and the comfy confines of Fox News to distribute her anti-Democrat invectives. After all, the entire nation witnessed her inability to handle interviews with unscripted questions during the 2008 campaign when she was publicly humiliated by her inability to field questions from Katie Couric and Charles Gibson. perhaps Alan Grayson said it best however, in his retort to the Queen of Quit,

“What is it about Sarah Palin and Twitter? Is Palin fond of tweeting because she can draft a tweet on her palm? Is it that 140 characters represents the maximum length of Sarah Palin’s attention span?”

Way to go, Alan. Let her have it with both barrels.

Finally, you must ask yourself, “why is Sarah Palin such a big fan of Facebook”? After all, the medium was the invention of one of those elitist Ivy League students hailing from the elitist of elite East Coast Ivy League institutions known as Harvard? Then again, the uninformed Palin is probably not aware of that.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Things We Said Today song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwokRK8P6D4&feature=related

THINGS SHE SAID TODAY

(sung to the Beatles song “Things We Said Today”)

Thinking of Sarah P.
Up there in the snow
Thinking she’s “mavericky”
Little does she know

Somedays when I’m lonely
Pining for old Tina Fey
Then I will remember
Things she said today

She’s not a refined girl
Disgraced in prime time
And she’s not a kind girl
She wallows in the slime

Her words have no meaning
But she sure has a lot to say
It’s fun to remember
Things she said today

She has such a simple mind
With nothing to say that isn’t fluff
Nonetheless she is inclined
To just have her way by talking tough

Yet she’s a blind girl
She’s a phony one
Despised and maligned girl
She will soon be gone

Ego that needs weaning
Lacking in the skill of word play
She cannot remember
Things she said today

She had lots of books to sign
What were her supporters thinking of?
Did they feel left behind
When she went away and had enough

Of being kind, girl
She said she was done
Let them wait in line girl
Take your cash and run

Someday when she’s scheming
Hand in glove of her next pay-day
Will Palin remember
Things she said today?

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