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Happy Thanksgiving Wishes

Lynnrockets wishes all of you loyal Rocketeers a happy and healthy Thanksgiving holiday and weekend. This is the true beginning of the holiday season and it is an especially beautiful time of year here in New England, with crisp weather and the smell of wood-burning fireplaces permeating the air. We enjoy the morning high-school football games. We give thanks for the blessings we have received. We are thankful for the heartwarming and festive gathering of family and friends for a wonderful home-cooked meal. We look forward to and plan for the upcoming Christmas season.

This Thanksgiving has an added bonus for Lynnrockets. At 1:00 pm ET my beloved Green Bay Packers will play their division rival Detroit Lions. The Packers are undefeated thus far with a 10 and 0 record and the Lions are fielding their first competitive team in over 20 years while fighting for a playoff spot, so the outcome of the game is in question. As added drama, it is interesting to note that the last time the Green Bay Packers were 10 and 0 was 1962 when they were beginning their 1960s dominance of the NFL with Bart Starr, Paul Hornung and legendary coach Vince Lombardi. That year they also played the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving but unfortunately for the Packers they lost that game. It was the Packers only loss of the season. Here’s hoping we have no repeat of that event this year.

Do not forget however, that we are not the only ones who have a lot to be thankful for this year. The House Republicans also have much to be thankful for. In fact, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) has compiled a list:

Here are a dozen things House Republicans can be most thankful for.

1)      Turning Medicare into vouchers got them on TLC’s Extreme Couponing

2)      “Some random person” named Grover.  No, not the Muppet

3)      Special interests rewarding them for protecting corporate tax breaks, like that personal jet exception

4)      Having friends like the Kochs and Karl Rove who are able to air “issue advocacy” ads without having to say who paid for them.

5)      Jack is back. (see jackabramoff.com)

6)      Having a Financial Services Chairman who says his job is to “serve the banks”

7)      The tea party freshman weren’t actually serious about changing Washington (phew).

8)      Pizza is now a vegetable

9)      Blake Farenthold taught them how to twitter

10)  A name like “Young Guns” to totally give them street cred

11)  Eric Cantor cancelling his weekly press conferencing, giving him more time to produce his vanity video’s #winning

12)   Kleenex finally having their man in the Speaker’s office

Once again here’s wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and…

GO PACK, GO !!!

See you folks next week. Until then, please enjoy listening to the full version of Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant”. It has been a Massachusetts tradition for some 40 years for this song to be played on countless radio stations across the state on Thanksgiving. Please take the time to listen to the full song and remember those great late 1960s!

Today’s song parody is autobiographical in nature and explains the purpose of this blog.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs

Palin Plummetts In Polls (Again!!!)

Here we go again. The people have spoken and they do not like Sarah Palin. Why then does Palin continue to play cat and mouse with the idea of running for the Presidency? Better yet, why does the Media and public (including Lynnrockets) pay any attention to this inconsequential person?

CNN reports that the most recent Pew Research Center Poll released August 25th reveals that 41% of Republicans and Republican-leaning voters say there is “no chance” they would vote for Sarah Palin in a presidential race. That is the second highest rejection rate of any Republican candidate, exceeded only by Newt Gingrich.

Additionally, the most recent Gallup Survey released August 24th reveals that in a race that includes all the current candidates, plus Palin and Rudy Giuliani, the former Alaska governor would draw only 11 percent of the vote.

Finally, the most recent Public Policy Polling survey released August 23rd and  conducted in Iowa (where Palin has been spending a lot of time lately) reveals that she is in a lowly 5th place among GOP candidates.

These poll results emerged smack-dab in the midst of the war of words between Karl Rove and Palin’s political action committee SarahPAC, regarding Palin’s dithering over her decision to enter the race. The polls all show that it does not matter if the former ex-quitting half-term Alaska Gov. enters the race. Even if she does, she is doomed to defeat.

So, as for the two questions posited in our first paragraph, what can we deduce? Regarding the question as to why Palin continues to remain indecisive as to her presidential plans, it seems obvious that she is simply maintaining the monetary value of the “Palin brand” for as long as possible. Since the “Palin thing” was unfortunately thrust into the American spotlight by John McCain in 2008, she has profited immensely. If not for her status as the Vice Presidential candidate and the subsequent hilariously public display of her political ignorance and the shenanigans of her tabloid-styled family, she would have remained a virtually unknown politician with little to no marketing potential. Instead, she has made so much money form her new-found celebrity status in the form of her Fox News job, her reality television series and her two ghost-written books, that she was able to simply up-and-quit her job as Governor of Alaska. Palin knows that as soon as she announces that she will not run for the nation’s highest office, her marketability and the associated money will vanish. Consequently, it behooves her to tease the public for as long as she possibly can.

As for why the media and public continue to pay attention to a potential candidate that has no chance of winning, the answer is obvious. Sarah Palin is so absurd that she is entertaining. The media sells entertainment and the public buys it. People with no interest whatsoever in politics continue to await news of the latest Palin-related spectacle. Will she publicly insult someone (David Letterman)? Will she make another astoundingly stupid comment (Paul Revere was warning the British by ringing bells and firing shots)? Will another of her abstinence-only educated children conceive a child out of wedlock (so far we have Bristol and Track)? Will her husband continue to solicit massages from women charged with prostitution (Shailey Tripp)? The possibilities seem limitless and so long as there is entertainment value, the media and public will continue to pay attention.

So there you have it. Sarah Palin is unelectable. Sarah Palin knows this and will continue to tease the public with a decision regarding her candidacy as long as possible so as to keep the money-cow alive. The media and public will continue to be interested in Palin so long as she remains relevant and eccentric.

OK, you Rocketeers, you know what this means…

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Rawhide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldkxqiosXYY

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove Blasts Sarah “Caribou Barbie” Palin

As we have said so many times in the past, is there anything more delightful than watching Republicans eat their young?

Today we have Round Three of Karl Rove vs. Sarah Palin. This battle started last weekend when Rove appeared on “Fox News Sunday”,  a talking head program on the Republican Propaganda Network and said that he believed that Palin’s upcoming trip to Iowa and recent web video are evidence she is gearing up for a run for the GOP nomination for President. He also said,

“I’m not much of a gambler, but I’d put a little more money that she gets in than if she doesn’t. You can only tease so many times in the political process, and I think she is getting to the end of that.”

Palin’s political action committee SarahPAC, did not take kindly to anyone speculating anything about their queen. So, on Monday the PAC came out of their corner and launched an assault against Karl Rove in Round Two of the bout. The SarahPAC website posted a thinly veiled attack against Rove which stated as follows:

“These are the same tired establishment political games that fuel the 24 hour news cycle and that all Americans will hopefully reject in 2012, and this is more of the ‘politics-as-usual’ that Sarah Palin has fought against throughout her career.”

Not to be bullied, Rove came out punching in Round Three. On Wednesday, Rove once again appeared on the Fox News GOP Cheerleading Network and this time he characterized Palin as a Diva with “thin skin”. More specifically, he said,

“It is a sign of enormous thin skin if we speculate about her, she gets upset, and I suspect if we didn’t speculate about her, she’d be upset and trying to find a way to get us to speculate about her.”

CNN reports that Karl Rove went on to say that if Palin is unhappy with the speculation she should,

“simply say ‘I’m not running’. Instead, every time she pops up in the public eye – like she did on CNN at the Iowa State Fair a number of days ago – she said ‘I haven’t made a decision’.”

We believe Karl Rove has a valid point. Will Sarah Palin ever stop dithering and make a decision about her presidential plans? Here’s hoping she announces her candidacy so that we will have one more Republican crackpot to laugh at during the upcoming election season. Can you imagine the environment of wackiness that would envelope primary debates including Michele “Migraines” Bachmann, Ron “The Gold Is Gone” Paul, Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney, Rick “Treason” Perry and Sarah “I Quit” Palin?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Kung Fu Fighting song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0

KUNG FU FIGHTING (Version III)

(sung to the Carl Douglas song “Kung Fu Fighting”)

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Sarah Palin was kung fu fighting
Her words were crude and biting
In fact she is a little bit frightening
And she has the best of timing

One day funky Turd Blossom put Sarah Palin down
He was chopping her up and he was talking her down
His words gave Sarah a start and then she tore Karl Rove apart
She was shooting from the hip; when she gave Karl Rove some lip

Karl and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were tear-inciting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the best of timing

She said, “knuckle dragging Rove, you better bite your tongue”
Karl said “Why don’t you get lost, you best be gone”
She said, “this crib-note on my hand says I’m worth one-hundred grand”
Karl said, “when you see my Fox clip, you will just have to bite your lip”

Rove and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Karl and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the best of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…
Keep on fighting
Those cats are frightening

Oh – oh – oh – oh…(to fade)

Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove Believes Palin Will Run

Turd Blossom and Caribou Barbie

The former top political adviser (for whatever that is worth) to President George W. Bush believes that Sarah Palin will soon announce that she is running for president. Karl Rove, more commonly known as Turd Blossom, is now the leader of a conservative political action committee known as American Crossroads and he feels that Palin’s upcoming trip to Iowa and recent web video are evidence she is gearing up for a run.

Rove appeared on “Fox News Sunday”,  a talking head program on the Republican Propaganda Network and said,

“I’m not much of a gambler, but I’d put a little more money that she gets in than if she doesn’t. You can only tease so many times in the political process, and I think she is getting to the end of that.”

Palin of course has been incapable of making a decision as to whether she should join the “Koch Bros., Crackpots and Unknowns Presidential Circus” for at least the last four years. The former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska has however, recently paraded her faux family vacation shrink-wrapped luxury dream-liner through many early primary states and she attended the Iowa State Fair on the same weekend as the Ames Straw Poll. She has also authorized the creation and release of “The Undefeated”, an abysmal failure of a theatrical release about her rise to political incompetence. Most recently, her political action committee SarahPAC even released a video of her Iowa appearances and she plans to return to Iowa on September 3rd. Still, she has refused to answer questions about her presidential plans as stubbornly as she refused to answer any and all questions during debates and televised interviews in 2008 while running for Vice President.

Who knows what kind of faith can be placed in Karl Rove’s prediction, however? After all, he is the same guy who completely misinterpreted the big bank bailout and formation of the Tea Party as follows:

“Remember the Tea Party movement didn’t get started in September of 2008 when the bank bailout was passed. It really began on Feb. 19th, 2009 when a television commentator named Rick Santelli stood up and said what the hell are we doing bailing out people who couldn’t afford a mortgage by taking money from people like me who are prudent?”

In any event, here’s hoping that Sarah Palin does choose to rune for President. The nation could use a few more laughs.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgnTU31z7s

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Sunday Afternoon Coffee (or Tea) – 86

Sorry about the late post but these beach days are cutting into Lynnrockets’ productivity!

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: The first recall election was held in Wisconsin last week and incumbent Democratic State Senator Dave Hansen defeated his Republican challenger in a landslide in which the Democrat took more than 65% of the vote. The recall elections were spurred by a voter backlash to the union-busting efforts of newly elected Republicans. With only 3 more victories the Democrats will recapture control of the state senate. Let the Wisconsin recall elections continue!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “This Week In History” features the fact that it was nearly 10 years ago that the United States began borrowing billions of dollars to pay for the bush tax cuts. http://thinkprogress.org/special/2011/07/20/273795/ten-years-ago-bush-tax-cuts/

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time some crazy Republican Tea Party conservative like Michele Bachmann or Ron Paul tells you that not raising the debt ceiling will not threaten those on Social Security, show them this quote from Ronald Reagan:

“Congress consistently brings the Government to the edge of default before facing its responsibility. This brinkmanship threatens the holders of government bonds and those who rely on Social Security and veterans benefits. Interest rates would skyrocket, instability would occur in financial markets, and the Federal deficit would soar. The United States has a special responsibility to itself and the world to meet its obligations. It means we have a well-earned reputation for reliability and credibility – two things that set us apart from much of the world.”

Was Reagan lying too?

THIS JUST IN:  Quote of the Week from William Rivers Pitt, “I love the smell of Murdoch in the morning!”

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “How’s This For A Surprise?…Not!” features Alabama’s Republican and very anti-homosexual Attorney General Troy King. Wonkette reports that Troy (who advocates outlawing homosexuality and sex toys) “has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed…His gay lover is either a college “buddy,” or a very young youngster and “Homecoming King” from Troy University. What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy University?” You just can’t make this stuff up.

THIS JUST IN: 2nd Best Quote of the Week from Larry Summers while President of Harvard University on a visit from the Winklevoss twins (who wanted his help in getting a piece of the Facebook action from Zuckerberg), “One of the things you learn as a college president is that if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o’clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they’re looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an a**hole. This was the latter case.”

BREAKING NEWS:  “A new filing in the King Lincoln Bronzeville v. Blackwell case includes a copy of the Ohio Secretary of State election production system configuration that was in use in Ohio’s 2004 presidential election when there was a sudden and unexpected shift in votes for George W. Bush.” Benzinga.com reports thatSmarTech, a private company (with extensive ties to the Republican Party, Karl Rove and the Republican agenda), had the ability in the 2004 election to add or subtract votes without anyone knowing they did so. The the combination of computer hacking, ballot destruction, and the discrepancy between exit polling (which showed a big Kerry win in Ohio) and the “real” vote tabulation, all point to one answer: the Republicans stole the 2004 election. Anybody surprised?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter -  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

New Hampshire Republican Deems Sarah Palin To Be Unelectable

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off maintains that the best gift President Barack Obama and the Democratic Party could receive in the next number of months is the announcement of a Sarah Palin campaign for the presidency. Every single recent national poll reveals that she would be squashed by Obama in a head-to-head match-up. Each of those polls shows her trailing the President by double digits. Those polls also show that most Republican voters believe she is unqualified for the office and they will vote for someone else. These polls expose the fact that although Palin has a rabidly loyal base, that group is a minority even within the Republican Party while most conservatives view her as unelectable.

It is not only the conservative/Republican electorate that deems the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska to be unelectable, but also a growing number of Republican Party insiders and conservative pundits. For instance, although former New Hampshire Republican Senator and Governor Judd Gregg believes that Palin has a legitimate path to the GOP nomination, he warns that such an event would lead to President Obama’s clear reelection. He states that the muddled GOP presidential field means it’s more likely than ever there won’t be a clear consensus candidate before the party’s nominating convention in August of 2012. If that happens, says Gregg, Palin and her army of supporters might have the upper hand when it comes to settling on a presidential candidate. Gregg wrote in The Hill newspaper on Sunday,

“A candidate who runs second or third in a great many primaries could go into the convention with a sizable block of delegates. Who would this favor? Does Sarah Palin come to mind? Although she is not viewed by most as strong enough to win, she is viewed by many as a person worth voting for to make a statement. Finishing second and third isn’t really a big deal – until you get enough delegates to be the nominee,” wrote Gregg. “And picking a nominee who it seems would be easily defeated by President Obama might not be the best statement.”

Add that to George F. Will who appeared on ABC‘s “This Week” in January and said,

“The president’s secret weapon may be the Republican nominating electorate, because there is one person, high in the polls, Sarah Palin, who cannot be elected president because she cannot compete where elections are decided — in the collar counties outside Chicago, Montgomery County outside of Philadelphia — just can’t compete there,”

Will’s remarks follow those of Charles Krauthammer who said in December,

“Her negatives are over 50 percent. She has no chance of winning a general election. Why would you want a candidate who is going to lose against a Democrat who is going to be vulnerable and who is also extremely ideologically ambitious?”

Former George W. Bush White House press staffer Scott Stanzel tweeted,

“Hey @SarahPalinUSA, ever heard the phrase ‘roll with the punches’? Constantly complaining about media = athletes whining about the refs.”

On November 30th, Joe Scarborough said,

“Republicans have a problem. The most-talked-about figure in the GOP is a reality show star who cannot be elected…[T]his is one Republican who would prefer that the former half-term governor promote her reality shows and hawk her books without demeaning the reputations of Presidents Reagan and Bush…[I]f Republicans want to embrace Palin as a cultural icon whose anti-intellectualism fulfills a base political need, then have at it. I suppose it’s cheaper than therapy. But if the party of Ronald Reagan, Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio wants to return to the White House anytime soon, it’s time that Republican leaders started standing up and speaking the truth to Palin.”

Three weeks ago Senator Kit Bond (R-MO) said,

“I have reservations about anyone who quits as governor halfway through the term.”

Former New Jersey Gov. Christine Todd Whitman (R) told CNN that,

“I mean, she was a governor. But the fact that she left office before even completing her first term is — that’s just not an attitude that I think is necessarily in the best interest of your constituents — rather what’s in your best interests.”

And even the alleged mastermind of the Republican Party, Karl Rove said of Palin late last October,

“With all due candor, appearing on your own reality show on the Discovery Channel, I am not certain how that fits in the American calculus of ‘that helps me see you in the Oval Office.”

Ouch, all of those comments have a left a mark upon Sarah Palin’s political visage which is not likely to heal anytime soon. Isn’t it captivating to watch conservatives eat their own?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s  song parody.

Unforgettable song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDN5rG3wLa4

UNELECTABLE

(sung to the Nat King Cole song “Unforgettable”)

Unelectable
That’s what you are
Unelectable
This TV star

Thank the Lord above that Sarah P.
Has no political destiny
Never before
Has someone been more…

Unelectable
In every way
And forever more
That’s how she’ll stay

Thank you Sarah, it’s incredible
That someone so disreputable
Is just so damn
Unelectable, too

(book-signing break)

Unelectable
That’s what they say
Palin’s not adored
Like Tina Fey

That’s why Palin, it’s incredible
That you are so unforgettable
But it is so
Damn regrettable, too

Palin Says Santorum Is A “Knuckle-Dragging Neanderthal” – Priceless!

Palin vs. Santorum

As we have said so many times in the past, there is nothing more entertaining than watching Republicans eat their young. This week we were treated to a battle-royale between former Republican Senator Rick Santorum and former reality television star Sarah Palin. Both are potential G.O.P. candidates for the 2012 Presidential election.

The first punch was thrown by Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum who is primarily known for once comparing homosexuality with having sex with a dog. While being interviewed on television last week, Santorum was asked why Sarah Palin turned down the keynote speaking role at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) for the 4th consecutive year. CPAC is the premier annual conference of national conservatives which takes place every February. Santorum responded, “I don’t know, I have the feeling she has a lot of demands on her time and a lot of them have a financial benefit.” He was then asked if he would have turned it down and he said, “No, but then I don’t live in Alaska.”

There is no doubt that Santorum implied that Palin believes that making money is more important to her than promoting the conservative cause (there is no speaking fee paid by CPAC). Would Palin take the bait? Let’s put it this way, does the earth revolve around the sun?

You guessed it. Palin appeared on “Hannity” on Fox News (where else?) a few nights later and called Santorum a “knuckle-dragging neanderthal”. A picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go to the tape:

For Sarah palin, the punches from Republicans and establishment conservatives just keep on comin’. Karl Rove, Barbara Bush, Lindsey Graham, Bill Kristol, Newt Gingrich and now Rick Santorum have all jabbed Palin. Who will be next.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topicalsong parody.

Kung Fu Fighting song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0

KUNG FU FIGHTING

(sung to the Carl Douglas song “Kung Fu Fighting”)

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Sarah Palin was kung fu fighting
Her words were crude and biting
In fact she is a little bit frightening
And she has the worst of timing

One day funky Santorum put Sarah Palin down
He was chopping her up and he was talking her down
His words gave Sarah a start and then she tore Ricky apart
She was shooting from the hip; when she gave Ricky some lip

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were tear-inciting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

She said, “knuckle dragging Rick, you better bite your tongue”
He said “I am the big boss, you best be gone”
She said, “this crib-note on my hand says I’m worth one-hundred grand”
He said, “you missed the CPAC trip, so you could fill your money clip”

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…
Keep on fighting
Those cats are frightening

Oh – oh – oh – oh…(to fade)

Growing List Of Conservatives/Republicans Deem Sarah Palin “Unelectable”

Lynnrockets maintains that the best gift President Barack Obama and the Democratic Party could receive in the next number of months is the announcement of a Sarah Palin campaign for the presidency. Every single recent national poll reveals that she would be squashed by Obama in a head-to-head match-up. Each of those polls shows her trailing the President by double digits. Those polls also show that most Republican voters believe she is unqualified for the office and they will vote for someone else. These polls expose the fact that although Palin has a rabidly loyal base, that group is a minority even within the Republican Party while most conservatives view her as unelectable.

It is not only the conservative/Republican electorate that deems the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska to be unelectable, but also a growing number of Republican Party insiders and conservative pundits. Indeed, just this past Sunday, George F. Will appeared on ABC‘s “This Week” and said,

“The president’s secret weapon may be the Republican nominating electorate, because there is one person, high in the polls, Sarah Palin, who cannot be elected president because she cannot compete where elections are decided — in the collar counties outside Chicago, Montgomery County outside of Philadelphia — just can’t compete there,”

Will’s remarks follow those of Charles Krauthammer who said in December,

“Her negatives are over 50 percent. She has no chance of winning a general election. Why would you want a candidate who is going to lose against a Democrat who is going to be vulnerable and who is also extremely ideologically ambitious?”

Former George W. Bush White House press staffer Scott Stanzel tweeted,

“Hey @SarahPalinUSA, ever heard the phrase ‘roll with the punches’? Constantly complaining about media = athletes whining about the refs.”

On November 30th, Joe Scarborough said,

“Republicans have a problem. The most-talked-about figure in the GOP is a reality show star who cannot be elected…[T]his is one Republican who would prefer that the former half-term governor promote her reality shows and hawk her books without demeaning the reputations of Presidents Reagan and Bush…[I]f Republicans want to embrace Palin as a cultural icon whose anti-intellectualism fulfills a base political need, then have at it. I suppose it’s cheaper than therapy. But if the party of Ronald Reagan, Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio wants to return to the White House anytime soon, it’s time that Republican leaders started standing up and speaking the truth to Palin.”

Three weeks ago Senator Kit Bond (R-MO) said,

“I have reservations about anyone who quits as governor halfway through the term.”

Former New Jersey Gov. Christine Todd Whitman (R) told CNN that,

“I mean, she was a governor. But the fact that she left office before even completing her first term is — that’s just not an attitude that I think is necessarily in the best interest of your constituents — rather what’s in your best interests.”

And even the alleged mastermind of the Republican Party, Karl Rove said of Palin late last October,

“With all due candor, appearing on your own reality show on the Discovery Channel, I am not certain how that fits in the American calculus of ‘that helps me see you in the Oval Office.”

Ouch, all of those comments have a left a mark upon Sarah Palin’s political visage which is not likely to heal anytime soon. Isn’t it captivating to watch conservatives eat their own?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s  song parody.

Unforgettable song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDN5rG3wLa4

UNELECTABLE

(sung to the Nat King Cole song “Unforgettable”)

Unelectable
That’s what you are
Unelectable
This TV star

Thank the Lord above that Sarah P.
Has no political destiny
Never before
Has someone been more…

Unelectable
In every way
And forever more
That’s how she’ll stay

Thank you Sarah, it’s incredible
That someone so disreputable
Is just so damn
Unelectable, too

(book-signing break)

Unelectable
That’s what they say
Palin’s not adored
Like Tina Fey

That’s why Palin, it’s incredible
That you are so unforgettable
But it is so
Damn regrettable, too

Halloween Tricks And A Few Treats – 57

Just a few spooky and newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful Halloween! Have fun and stay safe!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Endorsing Your Opponent” features California’s Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. The illegal alien hiring Whitman stars in her Democratic Party opponent, Jerry Brown’s new campaign ad wherein she tells the world how great things were in California 30 years ago…when Brown was the Governor. Vote for Democrat Jerry Brown on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: Jury selection began this week in former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay‘s money laundering trial. The Republican was indicted in 2005 on charges he illegally sent $190,000 in corporate money through the Republican National Committee to help elect GOP Texas legislative candidates in 2002. It seems quite appropriate that this jerk’s trial will commence during the Halloween season. Let’s hope a lot of skeletons come out of Delay’s deep, dark closet.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Crazy Republicans and the Crazy Things They Say” features West Virginia’s Teapublican candidate for Governor, John Raese. West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin, the state’s Democratic Senate nominee, launched a campaign ad last Monday calling his opponent’s ideas “crazy” and “bad for West Virginia.” The ad compiles video clips of Republican John Raese making a series of seemingly controversial statements, such as, “I’ve already been defeated three times. That’s a pretty good message from West Virginia I think.” And later, “We don’t need the Department of Education.” and “… We need 1,000 laser systems put in the sky, and we need it right now.” John Raese is crazy. Vote for Democrat Joe Manchin on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: Don’t you just love watching Republicans eat their young? The UK Telegraph reported this week that Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove believes that Sarah Palin is unqualified to be President. Rove is quoted as saying, “With all due candour, appearing on your own reality show on the Discovery Channel, I am not certain how that fits in the American calculus of ‘that helps me see you in the Oval Office’,”. He added that the promotional clip for Sarah Palin’s Alaska could be especially detrimental to any political campaign. It features the mother of five in the great outdoors saying: “I would rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office.” It appears that the former half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is becoming somewhat of a lightweight in Republican circles.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Sue ‘Em” features Massachusetts Republican candidate for US Congress Bill Hudak. Democratic Party incumbent John Tierney this week released a blistering campaign ad wherein he cites newspapers that have refereed to Hudak as “toxic” and “a poisonous kook”. In retaliation, Hudak has filed a lawsuit in attempt to have the ads pulled from the airwaves. The lawsuit however, has little to no chance of success because Massachusetts courts have long ruled against prior restraints against publication on First Amendment grounds. A Tierney spokesperson said, “Bill Hudak’s action is without merit or legal precedence. It is an attempt to intimidate speech in the context of a political campaign, and we will respond appropriately in court.” UPDATE:  Case closed. The court ruled against Hudak and he dismissed his lawsuit. Vote for Democrat John Tierney on Tuesday! Here is the hilarious ad:

THIS JUST IN: To all of you Alaska voters that are willing to do anything to prevent Teapublican Joe Miller from being elected to the U.S. Senate, pay close attention. Pinch your noses and write L-I-S-A  M-U-R-K-O-W-S-K-I.

BREAKING NEWS: The next time that someone tries to tell you that the Tea Party is not violent and dangerous inform them of this. The Dallas Morning News reports that Teapublican congressional candidate Stephen Broden stunned his says he would not rule out violent overthrow of the government if elections did not produce a change in leadership. In a rambling exchange during a TV interview, Broden said a violent uprising “is not the first option,” but it is “on the table. We have a constitutional remedy, and the Framers say if that don’t work, revolution.” He added, “The option is on the table. I don’t think that we should remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms.” Vote for Democrat Eddie Bernice Johnson on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: At a gathering in Texas last Tuesday, former President George W. Bush said, “I miss being pampered” in reference to his time in the Oval Office. Think about that for a moment. While this nation suffered from the worst terrorist attack in its history on 9/11/01 and while thousands of soldiers died in his war of choice, he enjoyed the pampering.

BREAKING NEWS: The next time that someone tries to tell you that the Tea Party is not violent and dangerous inform them of this. A Tea Party-backed candidate who allegedly murdered two unarmed Iraqis is seeking a seat in the House of Representatives, The Guardian reports. Thirty-nine-year-old Ilario Pantano, who is running for North Carolina’s 7th congressional district as a Republican, was charged with the premeditated murder of two Iraqi civilians in 2005 while serving as a second lieutenant with the US Marines. Sergeant Daniel Coburn, who was 27 at the time and one of the three soldiers at the incident, recalled wondering “when the lieutenant was going to stop, because it was obvious that they were dead.” “I believed that by firing the number of rounds that I did, I was sending a message,” Pantano told the New York magazine. All charges against Pantano, who was facing a possible death sentence, were later dropped due to insufficient evidence. Vote for Democrat Mike McIntyre on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I’m As Crazy As Christine O”Donnell” features Colorado Teapublican Senate candidate Ken Buck. He says that he “disagree[d] strongly with the concept of separation of church and state,” and that “it was not written into the Constitution.” Buck should be reminded that while the Constitution doesn’t contain the exact words “separation of church and state,” legal scholars and the courts agree it does prohibit the establishment or endorsement of religion. Furthermore, in 1801, Thomas Jefferson wrote that “religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God,” and argued the Constitution required “building a wall of separation between Church & State.” Vote for Democrat Michael Bennet on Tuesday!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 52

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: You have got to love Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell (D). He has canceled a $125,000 contract with a consulting firm that sent a bulletin to the state’s Office of Homeland Security in which it described opponents of natural gas drilling as “environmental extremists” and suggested they were a threat to the state. Rendell told reporters in a news conference on Tuesday (Sept. 15) that Pennsylvania would cancel its deal with the firm, the Institute of Terrorism Response and Research, which also identified animal rights demonstrations and anti-war events as potential security threats to the state. Good for you Ed! No use wasting the taxpayers’ money on that group of conservative thugs.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republican Gifts To Democrats” features Christine O’Donnell. She is the Tea Party/Sarah Palin endorsed anti-masturbation, gay bashing, college degree feigning, debt evading Republican candidate for a Delaware Senate seat. As the result of an influx of out of state Tea-Bagger money and the highly publicized Palin endorsement, O’Donnell defeated the party backed Mike Castle. As the result of her primary win however, the Democratic Party candidate Chris Coons, now leads by double digits in a race that was a Republican lock had Castle won. Thanks guys!

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of Christine O’Donnell and Sarah Palin, the “Queen of Quit” just gave some new advise to the “Sexless Sweetheart”. Sarah Palin appeared on the O’Reilly Factor Wednesday night and ordered O’Donnell to follow the Palin game-plan of refusing to submit to un-screened interviews and to only “speak through FOX News and let the Independents who are tuning in to you, let them know what it is that she stands for, the principles behind her positions.” As we always say, there is nothing like a friendly uninformed audience to lull you into thinking you have no detractors.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of  “Hate is Great” features Glenn Beck. Think Progress reports, that ever “[s]ince First Lady Michelle Obama unveiled her Let’s Move! program to fight obesity, conservatives have portrayed the effort as a government assault on personal freedoms and liberties.Glenn Beck joined the act, criticizing Michelle Obama for encouraging restaurants to “offer healthier versions of the foods that we all love.” He also joked that fat people should die:”

BECK: When I heard this I thought, get your damn hands off my fries, lady. If I want to be a fat fat fatty and shovel French Fries all day long, that is my choice. But oh oh, not so fast anymore. Because now we have the new fact, whether you like it or not, we have government health care now. … You know those fat people sitting on their couches? And I mean really fat. I don’t mean not like me. I mean the people who’s skin grows into the couch. … I say let them die. I say punish the person who’s been bringing them the milk shakes that allowed them to eat and not get up off the couch. Am I too harsh?

No Glenn, you are simply clinically insane.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young” co-stars Rush “To Judgment” Limbaugh and Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove. TPM Muckraker reports that we can now “[a]dd Rush Limbaugh to the list of prominent conservatives tearing into Karl Rove’s hide.” Rove, you may remember, went public last week with his criticism of the aforementioned Chritine O’Donnell. He said “I’ve met her. I wasn’t frankly impressed by her abilities as a candidate.” He also said, “One thing that O’Donnell is now going to have to answer in the general election that she didn’t in the primary is her own checkered background.” And Rove followed that up with, “There were a lot of nutty things she has been saying that don’t add up. Why did she mislead voters about her college education? How come it took nearly two decades to pay her college bills so she could get her college degree? How did she make a living?”

Rove was quickly attacked “by some right-wingers for those comments. O’Donnell whacked him back in a televised interview. And then Rove responded to O’Donnell and his right-wing critics, daring them to ‘prove me wrong’. Then Palin slammed Rove. Now it’s Limbaugh’s turn.”
“If 51 seats was really the objective — if getting the majority is really that important, then let’s go balls to the wall for Christine O’Donnell!” Limbaugh screamed on his radio show today after playing a clip of Rove’s already infamous anti-O’Donnell interview.” Muckraker reports, “Rush seemed in danger of having an aneurysm at the idea that Rove would do something as heretical as point out that O’Donnell has more than a few very serious character flaws and — as the polls show — is a serious underdog against her Democratic opponent in November, in a race that Republicans had once thought was theirs for the taking.”
As we here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off always say, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” So let’s go to the tape. Limbaugh really flips out at about the 3:20 mark so stay tuned…

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Puff The Magic Dragon song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wik2uc69WbU&feature=related

RUSH THE TRAGIC MAGGOT

(sung to the Peter, Paul and Mary song “Puff The Magic Dragon”)

Rush the tragic maggot lives by the sea
Was born in 1951 in a state called Missouri
Limbaugh’s education went down in a flush
He made it two semesters and his family kept it hush, oh

Rush the tragic maggot had an injury
It was a pilonidal cyst in a place he could not see
Rush the magic maggot petitioned his country
Then they deemed him too unfit for the military

Therefore he did not travel off to the Ho Chi Minh Trail
Limbaugh the rabid chickenhawk was deemed to be too frail
So he became a disc jockey and pursued his fame
Alas he was a failure as his music taste was lame, oh

Rush the tragic maggot found ABC
And began his talk radio stint shilling for the G.O.P.
Rush the tragic maggot tried football on Monday
But when he showed his racist trait they canned his ass hastily

The maggot talks forever and his voice sure annoys
Calls his listeners “ditto heads” while he’s making noise
Rush thinks that he matters and is gen’rally adored
Poor Rush does not realize he’s like a mouse that roars

The mike that he speaks into bigger, than his brain
His brain-dead thoughtless audience is his gravy train
“Operation Chaos” failed in a big way
Despite all Rush’s efforts the Dems won running away, oh

Rush the tragic maggot lives happily
He doctor shops his days away and frequents pharmacies
Rush the tragic maggot loves his Oxy-C
And when he’s feeling a bit down, there’s the blue pill known as “V”

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