Blog Archives

Herman Has A Koch/Cain Habit

Last week we commented upon the close ties between Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain and the billionaire radically conservative Koch brothers.

Charles and David Koch of course, are the billionaire brothers who own Koch Industries which happens to be the largest privately owned company in the United States. That business was also recently implicated by Bloomberg Markets as having illegally sold millions of dollars worth of equipment to Iran in violation of United States laws.  The brothers have used their immense wealth in every way possible to influence and maintain governmental policies which keep the rich wealthy and make them richer, while decreasing the wealth of the working and middle classes. The Koch brothers fund conservative and libertarian policy and advocacy groups such as the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute and the Tea Party parent organization known as Americans for Prosperity. The AFP’s agenda includes weakening private and public sector unions, opposing environmental regulations and undoing Obama’s health care reform law, among other policies. To date, the Koch brothers have donated more than $100 million to these and similar organizations. In fact, Koch Industries has spent more than $50 million to lobby in Washington since 2006, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.

The Washington Post reported that Herman Cain’s economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to the Koch brothers. The Post reports,

“Cain’s campaign manager and a number of aides have worked for Americans for Prosperity, or AFP, the advocacy group founded with support from billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch, which lobbies for lower taxes and less government regulation and spending. Cain credits a businessman who served on an AFP advisory board with helping devise his “9-9-9” plan to rewrite the nation’s tax code. And his years of speaking at AFP events have given the businessman and radio host a network of loyal grassroots fans.”

Herman Cain has now doubled-down on his close ties to the Koch brothers. Last Friday while delivering a speech at a summit hosted by the aforementioned Americans for Prosperity in Washington, D.C., Cain stated that he takes pride in his relationship with the Kochs. His exact words?

“I’m their brother from another mother and proud of it!”

This outright support for the radically conservative brothers is not likely to sit well with mainstream Independents who are very important in the electoral process. When you add in the fact that Cain is completely befuddled by the status of China’s military nuclear capability and the recent revelations of multiple instances of alleged sexual misconduct, it appears that Herman Cain’s candidacy is a sinking ship.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody which was inspired by loyal Rocketeer, Sharon Antoinette Alexander.

Cocaine” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4spg8vyo

KOCH/CAIN

(sung to the Eric Clapton song “Cocaine”)

If you’re having some doubt at who to kick about, Koch/Cain
If you’re laying face down, down on the ground, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

If you watch Fox News, you’ll see they love those dudes, Koch/Cain
Mitt Romney is done but this bunch is fun, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

(election influencing break)

Rick Perry is gone so they bought a new pawn, Koch/Cain
But this is a fact, Herm Cain don’t know jack, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

And Then There Were Three

Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman and Rick Santorum

Although most Republicans do not believe in science, the theory of natural selection appears to be working as planned in the GOP race for the Presidential nomination. The original herd of eighteen strong has been thinned downed to only three remaining viable candidates. In a sort of reverse Darwinism, we are witnessing the survival of the un-fittest.

Just a few short months ago the GOP field was chock-full of coconuts. There was Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Gary Johnson, Herman Cain, Fred Karger, Jon Huntsman, Andy Martin, Ron Paul, Jimmy McMillan, Rick Perry, Tom Miller, Rick Santorum, Buddy Roemer, Matt Snyder, Vern Wuensche and Thad McCotter. Shortly thereafter, Johnson, Karger, Martin, McMillan, Roemer, Snyder and Wuensche were eliminated by virtue of the fact that not a single person outside of their immediate families had ever heard of them. Then Tim Pawlenty and Thad McCotter quit. There was almost an increase in the herd after those nine were lost, when the GOP base began clamoring for Mitch Daniels, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Sarah Palin and Chris Christie. Unfortunately, the injection of new blood never came to pass as each potential contestant for the title of “The Next One” took a pass. The herd had been thinned to eight survivors.

Next we had the eliminations “for cause”. The first victim in this category was Newt Gingrich when it was revealed that the self-proclaimed fiscal conservative had run up his credit card to the tune of close to a million dollars owed to the high-end jeweler Tiffany & Co. and that his campaign was more than a million dollars in debt. The next victim was moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann. After being an early fan-favorite, Bachmann collapsed when she started playing doctor with Rick Perry by claiming that the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation. That statement was the “shot heard round the world” in Michele Bachmann’s “War on Facts”. Next, we witnessed Ron Paul’s self immolation during a televised debate when he implied that sick people without health insurance should either rely upon charity or simply die as the result of their illness. To prove his point, he then pointed out that one of his own staffers died as the result of having no health insurance. Rick Perry became the next casualty when, as Brit Hume so eloquently stated, he “threw up all over himself” at the debates. Perry then committed political suicide last week when he appeared to be either drunk or heavily medicated at a speaking engagement in New Hampshire, the video of which went viral. Finally, Herman Cain was eliminated when it was revealed that his 9-9-9 tax plan would actually cut taxes for the rich and raise taxes on 84% of Americans. Cain then put the exclamation point on the demise of his candidacy this week when it was revealed that he has a proclivity for inappropriate sexual behavior with women who do not happen to be his wife.

So there you have it. The Republican field for the Presidential nomination has been thinned to three candidates. Problem is, Republican voters do not like any of them. Jon Huntsman was essentially eliminated from consideration the moment he accepted a position in the Obama Administration as the Ambassador to China and said nice things about the President in a letter. Rick Santorum meanwhile is the textbook definition of an “empty suit” inasmuch as he has accomplished absolutely nothing in his political career other than suggesting that same sex marriage will lead to people having sex with their dogs. That leaves Mitt Romney. The Republican base despises this guy not only because he is a Mormon, but also because they believe he is a liberal in disguise. That is not an unfair accusation in light of the fact that he has changed his political stance on important conservative issues such as a women’s right to choose, gun regulation, climate change, illegal immigration, the auto bailouts, the flat tax and public sector unions. Romney’s biggest problem with conservatives however, is the fact that he is the architect of President Obama’s health care law and the first elected official to enforce the personal mandate to purchase health insurance.

Republicans nationwide will soon be sending out an S.O.S. distress signal for a new candidate. Somebody? Anybody?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Herman Cain: The Audacity of Grope

"Hello there, little lady."

Before reading this blog post you may want to click on the link below to listen to some appropriate 70′s porn background music as you continue.

Click here for background theme.

Let’s be blunt. Herman Cain is having a very bad week. Sexual harassment claims never end on a good note. In the case of Mr. Cain, it appears that he now must address at least three such instances of bad behavior. First, we learned of the two women who allegedly received damage settlements from the National Restaurant Association while Cain was the leader of the group. Then just a few days later we learned that another female victim has emerged. We also now have a witness to at least two of the events and an Iowa conservative radio host who claims that his receptionist was also subjected to some inappropriate behavior on the part of Cain. Just wondering, but were all of these women “just about the same height as” Cain’s wife? We all know that old adage, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire”.

Cain has not helped himself in deflecting the accusations either. His recollection of events has changed as many times as he has apparently changed victims. His story began with no knowledge on his part of any events. It then changed to a story that the women were provided termination packages and not damage settlements. From there it morphed into hand gestures around his mouth area being wrongly interpreted as something sinister when he was actually just commenting on the height of his wife. Then, just yesterday Cain decided to stop talking about the subject at all and he yelled at reporters for asking questions. Yikes!

To add fuel to the fire of this developing situation, it has been speculated that it is Republicans who have unearthed the story in an attempt to bring down Herman Cain’s candidacy for the presidency. At this point Cain’s people are pointing the finger at Rick Perry. The Mitt Romney campaign has also been suspected however. The irony of all this is that Cain claims to be the victim of unproven accusations and yet he has very quickly alleged unfounded accusations against his political opponents. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

As we said earlier, seldom do these situations end on a good note. Recent examples are John Edwards, Mark Sanford, Mark Souder and Anthony Weiner. If these allegations against Herman Cain prove to be true, we will know one thing for certain: “Cain is not Able”.

Herman Cain is now finished. Inasmuch as Rick Perry and Chris Christie are also gone, who will be the Republicans’ next flavor of the month? Marco Rubio are you out there?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Hurricane” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YngpWylqQ3A

HERMAN CAIN

 (sung to the Bob Dylan song “Hurricane”)

Herman Cain shouts out to the radical right
He was doin’ pretty fine but now he will fall
His 9-9-9 plan was a resounding dud
Romney and Perry are having a ball
Here comes the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Herman was chosen by the Tea Party
The only black man to be brainwashed by the GOP
“I will do it” he said as they were clapping hands
“But my views do not register with all the other black men”
“They’re non-believers” he says and he stops
“There’s already a black man at the top”
“Can I keep my pizza shops?”
“Will I somehow make the scene with my liberal-bashin’
“As a black man on the right?”

Meanwhile far away in another part of town
The Koch Brothers and a couple of friends are drivin’ around
They needed somebody to don the right-wing crown
Had no idea the kind of idiots who were hangin’ around
Michele Bachmann looked like she was about to explode
Just like the time before Mitt Romney can’t stand pat
And Rick Perry is just too dumb and slow
He’s a hack… and he is destined for a big defeat
And Obama must be beat!

All these fellows prompted laugher and had no chance to reach the top
The Koch Brothers oh so sadly were just out prowling around
They said, “the other men running, they are lightweight candidates”
“They’ll look like morons when they get to the debates”
Those ol’ boys were just inclined to scratch their sore heads
Koch said, “Wait a minute boys, here’s our thoroughbred!”
He then suggested good ol’ Herman C.
And though this man had no history
They told him that he could surely be their chosen man.

Four in the morning and they called Herman in
They were downright hospitable and they calmed all his fears
Then Herman Cain looked up through his two crying eyes
Says, “I’m shedding all these tears because I’m your guy”
Yes, this is the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Four months later and Wall Street is inflamed
Herman tells the jobless that they are all to blame
While all those bailed-out bankers profit from their greedy games
And Cain sides with the shifty one-percent while he calls the protesters names
He went even further but he went too far
By raisin’ taxes on those workers at the bar
He showed his tax plan had a fatal flaw
Ol’ Herman Cain began to hem and haw…running in fright
Even attacked from the right.

Now all those Tea-Baggers said, “I’m really not sure”
“Raise all our taxes? Please give us a break!”
“We picked you for this cushy job but just maybe you’re not our fellow”
“Now just like flip-flopping Romney, it seems your spine’s made of Jello”
“You best modify your bad behavior”
“Or Newt Gingrich will become our newest flavor!”
“Now you best listen to us, Sir”
“Don’t wanna pin our hopes and dreams upon him”
“Our view of him is quite dim.”

Cain had to take a stand and he had a hunch
But his cigarette smoking ad proved he was out to lunch
It’s a YouTube play and it was a bad day
Now that it’s over he hopes that it just goes away
Reviews weren’t very nice
Still the next time though, he better think twice
His campaign ad an epic fail
What can Herman do next to bail out?
Cuz he’ll never be the man in the White House

All of Herman’s cards were marked in advance
His campaign was a circus, he never had a chance
He tried to cast detractors as drunkards from the slums
To the sane folks who watched he was a corporate-crony bum
He was a big dope with an ego even bigger
No one doubted he was a gold-digger
And he proved he never was “the one”
The Koch Brothers chose the wrong son.. oh yes, indeed
And all the Tea-Baggers agreed.

Cain was later identified
By two former employees who testified
Of sexual harassment of which Cain lied
And the newspapers they all went along for the ride
How can the wife of such a man
Proudly wear his stained wedding band?
While he claims that he was framed?
Herman Cain should be rightly ashamed… to be such a man
Who would deny his blame.

Now the Koch Brothers in their coats and their ties
Are glad to drink martinis and choose their next guy
There must be somebody out there that they can sell
Cuz Herman Cain he was not all that swell
That’s the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 95

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Conservative pundit Michelle Malkin actually got it right last week when she summed up the field of Republican Presidential candidates as “Birthers, flip-floppers, Beltway moldy-oldies, Kabuki reformers. Don’t have stomach to look at GOP2012 field today.” Welcome to the real world, Michelle!

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Republican Presidential candidates, last week Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum doubled down on his support for anti-sodomy laws in an interview with controversial preacher Bradlee Dean. In 2003, then-Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) defended anti-sodomy laws in an interview with the Associated Press because “they were there for a purpose.” He added, in a quote that became infamous, “In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.” Anybody else doubting Santorum’s electability?

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see Massachusetts Democrat Elizabeth Warren receive a public endorsement from Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn) in her race for the U.S. Senate seat presently held by the clothing-challenged Republican Scott Brown. Franken said,

“We’ve all seen what Elizabeth can do with her smarts — and her guts. I’ve been impressed with her tenacity for years. She took on Wall Street before anyone else would and pushed consumer protection to the top of the financial reform agenda. We know she’s tough and fiery and even funny. We know she’s got a great life story and a full career of achievements fighting for middle-class families. That’s why progressives like you and me have been fans for a long time, and why we hoped she’d be able to lead the consumer protection board she created. And now, when we imagine her voice in the Senate, well, it’s even more exciting.”

THIS JUST IN:  The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office released a report last week which revealed that, “for the 1 percent of the population with the highest income, average real after-tax household income grew by 275 percent between 1979 and 2007,” while it grew by just 18 percent for the bottom 20 percent of the income scale. “As a result of that uneven income growth, the distribution of after-tax household income in the United States was substantially more unequal in 2007 than in 1979.” Anyone surprised why the Occupy Wall Street 99% are upset?

BREAKING NEWS:  Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul appeared on NBC’s “Meet the Press” last week and announced that he wants to end all federal student loans. That should certainly help with closing the education gap between the United States and the other nations who are faring better than us. Of course, Paul is also the crackpot who believes that the gold has gone missing from Fort Knox.

THIS JUST IN: What’s up with Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain and the smoking commercial?

BREAKING NEWS: This week a Tea Party leader asked Michele Bachmann to end her quest for the Presidency. Ned Ryun, the president of American majority, a Virginia based Tea Party group has called on the former tea Party darling and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus to quit the race because, “every day the campaign flounders, it risks hurting the credibility of the movement.” He went on to say, “It is clear that the campaign has become less about reform and more about her personal effort to stay relevant and sell books; a harsh commentary, but true. It’s not about Tea Party values or championing real plans to solve real problems.’’ It would appear that the moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann has managed to squander the support of her most avid fans.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s “Quote of note comes from Vice President Joe Biden. He said, “Republicans moralizing about deficits. That’s like an arsonist moralizing about fire safety. Spot-on Joe!.

BREAKING NEWS:  The Sarah Palin hangover continues. After announcing that she would not run for President, Sarah Palin’s brainwashed supporters are at a loss. They have absolutely no idea who to worship and throw money at now. In an attempt to come up with an answer they held an online forum called “Grizzlyfest” last week. Josh Painter, who runs the blog Texans for Sarah Palin, acknowledged that many supporters he knew were still “coming out of shock” at Palin’s decision, but that Grizzlyfest was an “excellent opportunity” to assess “where we are and where we are going.” One thing that was clear by the end: real disappointment remains despite a willingness to try and stay together as a cohesive group without a leader. Ah Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Sarah Palin song parody.

It’s All Over Now song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbpU5vBYnfU&feature=related

IT’S ALL OVER NOW

(sung to the Rolling Stones version of the song “It’s All Over Now”)

Well, Palin was around way too long
She winked those eyes, went to Hong Kong
But her heart’s now broken, that’s no lie
Tables turn and now it’s her turn to cry

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Well, she thought that she’d be crowned a queen in D.C. Town
She’d spend book deal money to buy herself some fame
She has no clout, that must be a blow to her pride
Tables turn and now it’s Sarah who cries

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

(musical interlude)

Well, on Meet The Press Sunday morning, did you hear what they said?
“Palin’s political future is all but dead”
Brooks, Dionne and Murphy really smacked Palin down
Now the whole world knows that she is just a clown

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Tea Baggers Are Hooked On Koch/Cain!

Photo credited to AddictingInfo.org

It looks like the Koch Brothers have found their man and his name is Herman Cain.

Charles and David Koch of course, are the billionaire brothers who own Koch Industries which happens to be the largest privately owned company in the United States. That business was also recently implicated by Bloomberg Markets as having illegally sold millions of dollars worth of equipment to Iran in violation of United States laws.  The brothers have used their immense wealth in every way possible to influence and maintain governmental policies which keep the rich wealthy and make them richer, while decreasing the wealth of the working and middle classes. The Koch brothers fund conservative and libertarian policy and advocacy groups such as the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute and the Tea Party parent organization known as Americans for Prosperity. The AFP’s agenda includes weakening private and public sector unions, opposing environmental regulations and undoing Obama’s health care reform law, among other policies. To date, the Koch brothers have donated more than $100 million to these and similar organizations. In fact, Koch Industries has spent more than $50 million to lobby in Washington since 2006, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.

Herman Cain of course, is the self-defined political outsider in the present crop of Republican Presidential candidates. He is the former CEO of the second-rate fast-food chain known as Godfather’s Pizza. Cain insists that his outsider status and real-world experience differentiates him from political insiders who have been influenced by lobbyists. In other words, Cain portrays himself as being clean and unblemished by politics and the crony-capitalism that has fueled the ire of both the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street movements.

Unfortunately for Cain, his self-description is not accurate. The Washington Post reports that Cain’s economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to the Koch brothers. The Post reports,

“Cain’s campaign manager and a number of aides have worked for Americans for Prosperity, or AFP, the advocacy group founded with support from billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch, which lobbies for lower taxes and less government regulation and spending. Cain credits a businessman who served on an AFP advisory board with helping devise his “9-9-9” plan to rewrite the nation’s tax code. And his years of speaking at AFP events have given the businessman and radio host a network of loyal grassroots fans.”

Cain must realize that his ties to the Koch brothers and AFP will not sit well with many voters. The Post further reveals, “While Cain is quick to promote his career at the helm of the Godfather’s Pizza chain, his ties to AFP aren’t something the candidate appears eager to highlight. Cain does not include his AFP work on his biography on his website.”

Well Herman, you know what they say: You can run but you cannot hide.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody which was inspired by loyal Rocketeer, Sharon Antoinette Alexander.

Cocaine” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4spg8vyo

KOCH/CAIN

(sung to the Eric Clapton song “Cocaine”)

If you’re having some doubt at who to kick about, Koch/Cain
If you’re laying face down, down on the ground, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

If you watch Fox News, you’ll see they love those dudes, Koch/Cain
Mitt Romney is done but this bunch is fun, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

(election influencing break)

Rick Perry is gone so they bought a new pawn, Koch/Cain
But this is a fact, Herm Cain don’t know jack, Koch/Cain
They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

They just lie, they just lie, they just lie, Koch/Cain

GOP Debate Erupts Into Donnybrook!

There were a lot of casualties at last night’s Republican Presidential Debate in Las Vegas.

The first victim was Jon “Who?” Huntsman because he chose to sit this one out and thereby erase his own presence from the field of nominee wannabes. Huntsman injected himself into the Nevada/New Hampshire conflict over GOP caucuses/primary dates by siding with the Granite State and he illustrated his displeasure with Nevada by refusing to participate in a debate within its borders. It remains to be seen whether Huntsman’s defection will prove helpful in the New Hampshire primary (whenever it may be held), but there is no denying that his absence from last night’s debate provided a perfect example of “out of sight/out of mind” for GOP voters.

Next, we witnessed two pots calling the kettle black when Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney and Rick “The Executioner” Perry faced off over illegal immigration. Rick Perry accused Mitt Romney of having no credibility on the issue inasmuch as Romney once hired illegal immigrants at his home. Romney then reminded the audience, that as Governor of Texas, Perry provides in-state college tuition to children of illegal immigrants. Perry also referred to himself as “an authentic conservative, not a conservative of convenience.” Romney in turn, made reference to Perry’s poor debate performances by saying, “This has been a tough couple of debates for Rick, and I understand that. And so you’re going to get testy.”

Every Republican debate of course, at some point turns to the subject of repealing our nation’s newly enacted health care reform law. Last night Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum went on the attack against Mitt Romney because the Massachusetts plan, known as “RomneyCare” was the actual blueprint for President Obama’s law. Rick Santorum said, “You just don’t have credibility. Your consultants helped craft Obamacare.” Newt “My Three Wives” Gingrich then jumped into the battle referring to Romneycare as “one more big government bureaucratic high cost system…” Romney responded to Newt Gingrich by saying, “Actually, Newt, we got the idea of an individual mandate from you.” Romney’s message was that Gingrich once supported the conservative Heritage Foundation’s idea for a personal mandate to purchase health insurance during the Clinton days when a single-payer system was being debated.

One candidate was attacked by everyone. Herman “Pizza” Cain’s “9-9-9″ tax plan was on everyone’s hit list. Santorum said Herman Cain’s plan is “not good for families.” Ron “The 14th Amendment is Unconstitutional” Paul said, “”Herman. It’s not going to fly. It’s very, very dangerous.” Romney added, “The analysis I did, person by person, return by return, is that middle-income people see higher taxes under your plan.” Perry said, “Herman, I love you, brother, but let me tell you something, you don’t need to have a big analysis to figure this thing out. Go to New Hampshire, where they don’t have a sales tax, and you’re fixing to give them one.” Even Michele “Our Founding Fathers Ended Slavery” Bachmann seemed to understand that the plan is a bad one. Michele Bachmann said, “Anytime you give the Congress a brand-new tax, it doesn’t go away.”

Despite the near continuous vicious in-fighting, there was at least one long awkward moment of silence. This happened when Michele Bachmann announced that the United States never, ever negotiates with terrorists for hostages or anything else. Ron Paul then asked all of the candidates whether or not they denied that Ronald Reagan negotiated arms for hostages with Iran in the 1980s. You could have heard a pin drop. The candidates and the previously vocal audience were stunned into silence. Did Paul actually dare to utter a negative word about Saint Ronald?

If you missed the debate, you can see it here in 100 seconds:

Let’s see how all this develops during the three debates scheduled for next month.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av3em

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 93

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Massachusetts voters actually like candidates with Ivy League connections. The most  poll from the Western New England University Polling Institute reveals that only 13 percent of Massachusetts are “less likely” to vote for Democratic US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren because she teaches at Harvard Law School. Conversely, 21 percent said that fact makes them more likely to vote for Warren while 63 percent said it makes no difference at all. Something tells me the result would have been different in Texas.

THIS JUST IN:  Have you noticed that the Republican Presidential candidates (especially Michele Bachmann) have stopped talking about the price of gas? The reason for their sudden silence might have something to do with the fact that gas prices have been falling since may to about $ 3.40 as of October 5th. There goes one more GOP talking point out the window.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see that Democrat Earl Ray Tomblin beat his Republican opponent in West Virginia’s special gubernatorial election last week. Congratulations Earl!

THIS JUST IN:  Did you realize that the War in Afghanistan had its 10th anniversary on October 7th? Viet Nam anyone?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Sane Judicial Decisions Which Are Certain To Be Overturned By The US Supreme Court” features the US Appeals Court for the District of Columbia which upheld as constitutional, a D.C. law which bans semi-automatic rifles and large capacity ammunition magazines.

THIS JUST IN:  Herman Cain must not want to be President of the United States. If he did, he would never have said the following to the over 14 million presently unemployed American voters, “If you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself.” Something tells me that those words are going to come to roost at Cain campaign headquarters.

BREAKING NEWS:  It looks like GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry may also have to deal with some chickens coming home to roost. Texas pastor, Robert Jeffress introduced Perry at a conference of Christian conservatives last week and then stated that Mitt Romney is not a Christian and that the Mormon Church is a cult. I wonder if Jeffress feels the same about Jon Huntsman? Perry now has his own Reverend Wright.

THIS JUST IN:  The economic geniuses over at Fox News have repeatedly criticized the Democrats’ attempts to raise taxes on millionaires as “class warfare” while touting Herman Cain‘s 9-9-9 plan which would raise taxes on the poor and middle class as sound economic policy. Hmm?

BREAKING NEWS:  Crazy headline of the week: “Tea Party Nation Urges Monday Night Football Boycott, Backs Hank Williams For Senate“.

THIS JUST IN:  Ever wonder what happened to the “Birthers” who believe that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States? Did you think that they walked away with their tails between their collective legs when Obama’s long form birth certificate was produced and authenticated? Nope. They did however take another slap to the face from the US Supreme court last Monday when nation’s highest court refused to take up a case brought by three people “who claim President Barack Obama is not a natural born citizen of the United States of America and, hence, is ineligible to be the President.” Will these people ever learn? Don’t count on it.

BREAKING NEWS: It would appear that Massachusetts’ Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate, Elizabeth Warren is siding with the 99%. In a debate last week she unapologetically said, “The people on Wall Street broke this country, and they did it one lousy mortgage at a time. This happened more than three years ago, and there still has been no basic accountability, and there has been no real effort to fix it. This isn’t about class warfare, this is about the reality of how we prosper as a nation.” Brava, Ms. Warren! She unabashedly speaks truth to power.

THIS JUST IN:  My favorite quote from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last week was in reference to Sarah Palin‘s announcement that she would not seek the Presidency. Stewart’s quote? “Take The Money And Don’t Run”. Brilliant.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Take The Money And Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-vBd-r_Pww

TAKE THE MONEY AND  RUN

(sung to the Steve Miller song “Take The Money And Run”)

This here’s a story ‘bout Sarah P. or “Caribou”
As for nicknames, ya know, she’s got quite a few
There’s “Failin’ Palin” and the “Pig with Lipstick” too
And here’s what happened up north when she was cut loose

She was the Guv, but spent no time in Juneau
One mean bitch with the temperament of Cujo
She double-crossed just about anyone you know
Sarah P. took the money and run

Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run

Sarah P. said she would not accept federal money
She said Obama was up to something funny
She told the Senate to hop away like a bunny
The legislature said, “Thanks But No Thanks” honey

Sarah P. was pissed she didn’t get her way
To Indiana she went, the very next day
The House and Senate, hey
Took the funds anyway
Sarah P. was forced to  declare the “Big OK”
Singin’ OK let’s take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
(Haroooga!)
OK, take the money and run

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 92

Lynnrockets apologizes for the lack of a post yesterday. There simply was not enough time. You see, we made our annual trek out west to Springfield, Massachusetts to take in The Big E, also known as The Eastern States Exposition. Think state fair. The Big E is not the oldest fair in the nation, that distinction belongs to the much closer (to Boston) Topsfield Fair, nor does its scope encompass all of the eastern seaboard states. It is sort of the combined fair for the six New England states (Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Maine and Vermont for those of you who might be a little rusty).

It is however, BIG. Very BIG by New England standards. It has all the usual trappings such as livestock competitions, produce contests and each state highlighting products which it believes differentiates it from the others. It has also has the more modern gimmicks such as hundreds of food concessions selling everything from whole turkey legs, to the BIG E Burger (a cheeseburger with bacon sandwiched between a sliced honeydew donut) to this year’s newest fad, fried Kool Aid (I like to think that is marketed to any attendees who may belong to the Tea Party). The Big E also has a giant midway with thrill rides which appear to have been designed with the singular purpose of forcing you to regurgitate anything you may have been foolish enough to eat.

Despite the absurdity of the whole scene. We look forward to the Big E each year as sort of the official beginning of our wonderful New England foliage-bursting autumn season. Simply stated, without the Big E, something would feel like it was missing.

That being said, let’s get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Here are a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  What in the wide, wide world of sports happened to the Boston Red Sox?

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Another One Bites The Dust” features Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain‘s communications director Ellen Carmichael (and her assistant), who abruptly quit. This departure follows upon the exit of two other Cain staffers in June. When asked by CNN if the resignations signaled trouble within the Cain campaign, Carmichael responded, “No comment”. Sometimes just a few words can convey a big message.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Herman Cain, did any of you happen to catch his appearance with Jay Leno last week? When asked by Leno if he stands by his assertion that he would not appoint a Muslim to his cabinet, Cain nervously backtracked and said that he never really meant what he said. He told Leno and the suspicious audience that it should have been clear that what he meant was he “would not appoint a radical Jihadist to his cabinet”. When Leno pointed out that nobody would appoint a Jihadist to his/her cabinet and asked why Cain simply didn’t use the word “Jihadist”, Cain answered that he had wanted to err on the side of safety so he included all Muslims in his statement. “Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN:  After the killing of top-level  al Qaeda recruiter Anwar al-Awlaki, President Barack Obama is receiving some well-deserved credit from Republican politicians. Newt Gingrich said, “We’re going to take out al Qaeda the way they just did it in Yemen, where I do give the President credit”. Mitt Romney said, “I commend the President…”. GOP Rep. Peter King, chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security said it is “a tremendous tribute to the President…” These are exactly the type of words that give acid indigestion to Teapublicans. Break out the Rolaids.

BREAKING NEWS:  Stay tuned. The notorious and radically conservative billionaire Republican financiers the Koch brothers, are about to be exposed in a very unflattering light. Bloomberg Markets magazine is about to release an article which allegedly focuses on malfeasance and/or fraud and/or bad behavior by the conglomerate known as Koch Industries. There must be some truth to the report because the Koch brothers are releasing their public relations lackeys to discredit the story before it is even released. Could it be that a periodical other than the National Enquirer is poised to break an important political story? Enquiring minds want to know.

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but why is the allegedly liberally-biased mainstream media failing to report on the now week-long “Occupy Wall Street” protests which began in New York City and have now spread to financial centers in Boston, Washington D.C., Chicago  and Los Angeles? Something tells me that if this were a Tea Party movement, there would be non-stop coverage.

BREAKING NEWS:  In light of the Republican base’s dissatisfaction with their current crop of moonbat-crazy Presidential candidates, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is now the “flavor of the week”. Who is next, Mike Huckabee?

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of governors, has anybody noticed that a second one has called for a universal health care care plan in his state? Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer announced that he will be seeking a waiver to set up a universal health care system in his state modeled after the single payer Canadian system. This follows upon Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin‘s signing into law a plan for his state to begin the process of adopting such a plan. Hopefully, this signals that momentum is growing for a national single payer plan.

BREAKING NEWS:  As long as we are on the subject of governors, we might as well mention the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. Sarah Palin put the world on notice early last summer that she would make an announcement regarding whether she would seek the Presidency by September. It is now October 2nd and still no word. Looks like Sarah Palin is continuing her string of lies.

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Fins song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UruXWui1EG8

Note: a fib is a lie

FIBS

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Fins”)

She came down from Mat-Su Valley
She signed some books while on her plane
Hoping to incite a riot
Sarah Palin sure loves her fame

The Mama Grizzly is in motion
And all she does is snarl and bark
This re-al-it-y TV star
Lies through morning, noon and dark

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And soon you’ll be going down

She’s saving up all of her money
Wants to head down south in May
Maybe hold out her hand to her Tea-Bagging fans
Way down Arizona way

TV money was good this season
Now it’s time to go “reload”
Endless supply of big whopping lies
“Death Panels” paved her road with gold

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown

(Fox News break)

Intellect that’s meager
Sarah Palin is just a dolt
She’s been on a learning diet
And that’s a Lynnrockets’ quote

She has a box just like Pandora
She spews evil cross the land
Just behind the reek from here big white teeth
She forms lies universally panned

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
She’s a scheming, lying clown
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And Sarah Palin’s going down

Sarah Palin Raises Some Cain

Over the last three years we have witnessed Sarah Palin make just about every conceivable gaffe we could think of. While being interviewed by Katie Couric, she could not name one single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade and she was unable to name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads. She told a third grader that the Vice President runs the Senate. She has claimed that the Founding Fathers said the Pledge of Allegiance. She said that our Constitution is based on the Bible. She said that Susan B. Anthony opposed abortion. She claimed that Democrats moved the words “In God We Trust” on coins. She claimed that the White House has a Department of Law. She stated that the First Amendment protects against attacks from the media. She claimed that our new health care law contained “death panels” and most striking of all, she claimed that the purpose of Paul Revere’s “Midnight Ride” was to warn the British by means of ringing bells and firing warning shots.

Now we have a new Palin blunder. She appeared as a guest on Fox News’ “On The Record” with Greta Van Susteren the other night. Her diatribe consisted of the usual indecipherable word salad but she threw in a new twist. While discussing the recent developments in the GOP primary race she referred to Presidential candidate Herman Cain as the “flavor of the week” and then proceeded to repeatedly refer to him as as “Herb”. Jeesh, you would think that she could at least get a Presidential candidate’s name straight.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Pump It Up song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpprOGsLWUo

FUDGE IT UP

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Pump It Up”)

Palin’s losing her looks
She’s into banning books
Time to face the music
Shilling for “Arctic Cat”
She’s a moonbat
Blew the race for Johnny Mac
Was the Guv but then she quit
And left the state fast

Fudge it up. Too bad she couldn’t see it.
Fudge it up. Now she can’t conceal it.

She’s so far right of center
Hell bent, not Heaven sent
Listen to her propaganda
Listen to her latest slander
Palin don’t understand
All her moves are underhand

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Hey!

She is a dumb girl
She makes us wanna hurl
Like Lorena Bobbitt
Sarah’s psychotic
When she’s on a book tour
She dresses like a whore
In those clothes Mac bought for her
A tea-bagging gal for sure

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

In the “Party of No”
Palin will never win
Soon they will kick her out
With all her inbred kin
Her “Death Panel” mission
Beat into submission
Her conical hat is made out of tin

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it.

GOP Flavor Of The Week Is Pizza and Rick Perry “Really Did Throw-Up All Over Himself”

Breaking News: Herman Cain won the GOP straw poll in Florida last Friday. The former owner of Godfathers’ Pizza is now the “flavor of the week” for Republicans. The highly touted Florida Straw Poll is important to members of the Grand Old Party because its winner has an unusually high percentage of eventually capturing the party’s nomination for President. Cain is the “flavor of the week” because although he won this particular contest, moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann won the earlier Iowa Straw Poll and Mitt(wit) Romney won the Michigan Straw Poll and Ron “Civil Rights Act is Unconstitutional” Paul won the California Straw Poll. Strangely enough, the consensus Republican front-runner, Rick Perry has consistently failed to win any contests (or debates for that matter). Floridians appeared to be impressed by Cain’s “9 – 9 – 9″ taxation plan which many of them confused with Godfathers’ Pizza’s “9 – 9 – 9 Pizza Deal” which consisted of a 9 inch pizza with 9 toppings all for $9 dollars.

Lynnrockets also took one for the team and watched “Fox News Sunday“. It was very enlightening to learn that not only do all all the conservative Fox News pundits dislike the field of Republican Presidential candidates, but that they also believe that the majority of Republican voters are displeased with the lot. Panelist A.B Stoddard said the Cain win represented not only a disappointment over Perry, but a “dissatisfaction” with the current field amongst the GOP base. She said the poll was “a real slap toward Perry and Mitt Romney…they don’t like their choices at all”.  Bill Kristol piped-in by saying “70% of Floridians voted against the two front-runners (i.e Perry and Romney)” and “it was a vote of no confidence ” against both of them. He concluded by saying “these are very weak front-runners”. Juan Williams (the only quasi-liberal panelist) said, “there still is this hankering for someone else to come in”. Williams went on to say,

“The impression they are giving to the nation as a whole is that this is a very limited conversation among the Tea Party element or the far right of the Republican Party. Not only is it that they won’t except $3 dollars in cuts for $1 dollar in a tax hike, but it’s things like the immigration argument that really held center this week…If I’m Hispanic and I’m watching that show (the debate), I think, ‘Gee, these people don’t like me. They don’t like immigrants of any stripe’”.

It was Brit Hume however, who was the most caustic toward Perry in particular and the Republican field in general. He opened by saying,

Perry really did throw-up all over himself at the debate and at a time when he really did need to raise his game, … he did worse…Perry is about one half a step away from total collapse as a candidate…What keeps happening here is these people have a moment, they get into the race as Perry did and zoom to the top and everybody is in love, and then we get a dose of them… and they don’t seem so great.”

Let’s go to the tape. The Brit Hume statements begin at the 2:00 minute mark:

Batting next for the Republican Party: Chris Christie?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 111 other followers