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Like Rick Perry, Heraman Cain Is Simply Too Stupid To Be President!

Last week, we pointed out the numerous reasons why Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry is too stupid to be the President of the United States. We highlighted his inability to speak articulately in a debate as demonstrated by his childlike  on-stage arguments with Mott Romney and his “oops moment” of being unable to name one of the Cabinet agencies he would abolish. We also mentioned his bizarre New Hampshire stump speech wherein his speech was slurred, he made crazy faces and made odd references. In fact, he generally made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. When you add in the fact that he was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M, it is easy to see that of the two, George W. Bush was even smarter than Rick Perry. By the way, that isn’t saying much for the intelligence of Texas Governors.

This week we have a different dunce to discuss. Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain is now giving Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann (to be addressed in an upcoming post) a run for their money in the Stupid Race. Thus far Cain has released his 9-9-9 tax plan which included a 9% national sales tax. When it was revealed that the sales tax was a regressive tax on the poor and working/middle class, the non-economist architect of the plan admitted that the sales tax must be slashed. Thereafter, it was determined that the Cain plan would guarantee tax reductions to the super wealthy while raising taxes on approximately 80% of the population who are not so fortunate to be included in that category. Then, during an interview on PBS’ NewsHour, Cain warned that China has indicated it is “trying to develop nuclear capability.” Unbeknownst to Cain, China has had nuclear weapons since 1964. Cain has also stated that he could imagine a situation in which he would negotiate with terrorists if he were President.  All of this shows that Cain’s grasp of knowledge of tax policy and foreign policy is tenuous at best.

This week, Herman Cain’s grip was severed completely. In a very illustrative post, NPR.org revealed the most recent example of Cain’s complete lack of understanding of foreign policy. NPR reveals that during an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on Monday, Cain demonstrated “a flamboyant confusion over his position on Libya.” Here is how NPR explained it:

In a meeting Milwaukee Journal Sentinel staff members, a journalist asked the Republican presidential candidate a question that wasn’t exactly one of those “gotcha” queries. Paraphrasing, the question was: Do you agree or not with President Obama’s Libya policy?

“OK, Libya,” Cain said closing his eyes, then looking up, then leaning forward, a man clearly trying to summon up from somewhere in his brain that Libya stuff.

After several seconds, some facts seemed to come to him, sort of. But he didn’t appear certain.

With the deliberateness of a skater testing the thickness of pond ice in early winter, he spoke slowly without any of the verve or certainty he would have had if the question had been about, say, his 9-9-9 plan.

CAIN: “President Obama —- supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gadhaffi. I just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say ‘Yes, I agree’ or ‘No, I didn’t agree.

“I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reasons. Umm. No that’s a different one. “I’ve got to go back to see. I’ve got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”

Then he has an idea. How about buying some more time by asking the journalist to clarify:

CAIN: “Specifically, what are you asking me did I disagree or not agree with Obama?”

The journalist restates and elaborates on the question, ending with “How would you have handled it?”

CAIN: “Here’s what I would have done differently. I would have done a better job of determining who the opposition is. And I’m sure that our intelligence people had some of that information. Based upon who made up that opposition, might’ve caused me to make some different decisions about how we participate. Secondly, no I did not agree with Gadhaffi killing his citizens.

“Absolutely not. So something would have had to have been, I would have supported many of the things that they did in order to help stop that. It’s not a simple yes-no because there are different pieces and I would have gone about assessing the situation differently which might have caused us to end up in the same place. But where I think more could have been done was what’s the nature of the opposition.”

Shortly after this, however, Cain badly contradicts himself. He has been criticizing Obama for not thoroughly assessing the situation but then acknowledges he has no idea what kind of assessment Obama and his national security team conducted.

The moment comes when a second journalist asks Cain if he would have backed away from U.S. involvement in Libya due to the uncertainties he cited about the Libyan opposition’s composition or the way forward. Cain again says he couldn’t give a yes-no answer because “all of those things should have been assessed.”

To which the journalist asks: “You don’t think they were assessed?”

CAIN: “I don’t know that they were or were not assessed. I didn’t see reports of that assessment.”

Let’s be unequivocal about this folks, Herman Cain does not even have a rudimentary knowledge of foreign policy. In a knee-jerk response to any question about a tactic or policy of the Obama Administration, he will automatically oppose whatever it is that Obama has said or done without having any ideas of his own as to what should have been said or done in the alternative. Such a characteristic shows only bullheadedness and not careful thought. That is exactly the type of presidency we had for 8 years under George W. Bush and we are continuing to suffer the disastrous consequences of that man’s knee-jerk actions of tax cuts, deregulation and war to this very day. We do not need a repeat performance under a Herman Cain presidency which would also be likely to include a growing list of sexual misconduct allegations.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

One After 9-0-9 song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TipfIUP1kAE

THE ONE AFTER 9-9-9

 (sung to the Beatles song “One After 9-0-9”)

Rick Perry says he’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
He says, “Move over Herman, the best damn tax plan is mine”
He says, “I’ll say this once, take my advice”
“I’ll make sure that the poor pay a price”
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

Cain’s plan has got to go cuz his sales tax is a penalty
Herm loves foolin’ round but never fool around with me
Rick says, “I’ll say this once, take my advice”
“I’ll make sure that the poor pay twice”
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

I love to brag ‘bout my creation
My objective? Wealth will rule the nation
That is my bag, mine alone
I hope I ain’t,  got the numbers wrong

Cain, I say I’m workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
I say, “Move over Herman, the Presidency is mine”
If you move over once, I will be nice
I’ll consider you to be my Vice
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

(drinking and/or medication break)

Rick loves to brag ‘bout his creation
The objective? Wealth will rule the nation
That is his bag, Romney clone
Bet your ass, he got the numbers wrong

Cain, I say I’m workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
I say, “Move over Herman, the Presidency is mine”
If you move over once, I will be nice
I’ll consider you to be my Vice
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9


GOP Dimwittedness On Display In Bulb Controversy

It seems that not a day can pass without some Republican politician or conservative pundit complaining about Democrats taking away the personal freedoms of Americans. Whenever Democrats propose firearm regulations which would outlaw assault weapons in an attempt to curb the ever-escalating mass-murder sprees on our streets and public places, Republicans decry losing their gun rights. As soon as First Lady Michele Obama proposed serving healthier foods in schools and fast food restaurants in an attempt to curb the epidemic of  dangerous child obesity, Republicans howled about the emergence of a “Nanny-State”. Somehow the Republicans have even twisted the notion that our new health care law’s mandate that individuals purchase health insurance from private insurers somehow places a government bureaucrat between us and our doctors. Really, doesn’t it just maintain and expand the present system of placing a private insurance adjuster between us and our doctors?

Perhaps the craziest example of Republicans complaining about the loss of personal freedoms however, is the impending law which requires that light bulbs be more efficient. As you all know by now, beginning in January 2012, new light bulb efficiency standards will kick-in which will effectively outlaw the incandescent bulb that we have all come to know and love over the last 100 years or so. They will be replaced by those curly mini-fluorescents or some other type of energy efficient bulb yet to be released to the market. The purpose of the new law is to reduce U.S. electricity demand by several percentage points so as to reduce our dependence on foreign oil producing nations and to slow climate change.

But the current crop of Republican politicians, pundits and conservative radio talk show hosts do not see it that way. They consider the lightbulb law to be another example of “a totalitarian Obamal invasion of personal liberty”. The zaniest reaction to the new law comes from the moonbat-crazy Tea Party/Republican Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. She says,

“The government has no business telling an individual what kind of light bulb to buy…This mandate has sweeping effects on American families and businesses and needs serious consideration before taking effect.”

Indeed, Bachmann even went so far as to introduce a Congressional bill which she calls “The Light Bulb Freedom Of Choice Act” which would repeal the impending law. GOP Presidential candidate Ron Paul has also joined the act by teaming-up with Rep. Joe “You Lie” Barton (R-TX) and 19 other Republican Congressional members to repeal the law. The new GOP Presidential frontrunner Rick Perry went so far as to sign into law an illegal bill claiming that Texas light bulb manufacturers can simply ignore the federal law.

Problem is, Republicans and conservatives alike seem to have collectively forgotten that the new light bulb standards were not President Obama’s or any Democrat’s fault, or even their idea. The new federal law was, in fact, proposed by Republican Rep. Fred Upton (R-MI) and signed into law in 2007 by President George W. Bush. Furthermore, at that time there was not a peep from the GOP and conservative pundits regarding an erosion of personal freedoms. It was only after Barack Obama assumed office that the GOP took a violent leap to the far right and began to consider anything that happens during his administration to be a step down the stairs to certain socialism. Now the GOP’s leaders and Presidential candidates even deny that climate change exists and condemn more energy efficient light bulbs as a direct affront to our nation’s inherent personal rights.

The GOP’s position on energy efficient light bulbs shows how dimwitted (pun intended) and out of touch the conservative right has become.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

AM Radio song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiCJkITtes&feature=player_embedded

RIGHT WING RADIO

(sung to the Everclear song “AM Radio”)

Portions of this lame programming are reproduced
By means of electronical transcriptions or tape recordings.

Radio
You can hear that bullshit on the right wing radio

There’s Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity
There’s lots of that Glenn Beck’s crap
Heavy on insanity

It’s simulcast along
The world wide webs

They’re pouring out pitchers full of Kool-Aid
Through the internets grid

Tea-Bagging clowns
On the air waves

Won’t talk to you if you’re black, young or gay

Limbaugh taught ‘em
The EIB chair
Is so toxic and vile
And it is unbalanced and unfair

Yo!
You must listen
To the poison on
That right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Savage is without a clue
Steers clear of every single neighborhood
In a state if that state is “Blue”

Malkin
Makes an ungodly sound
Crazy shit she’s into
Cruisin’ with that Glenn Beck clown

These nuts are broadcast across the nation
To the dumb and poor
Who mimic them like apes

They’re all right their at prime-time
Sean Hannity looks fried
Bill O’Reilly and that Sarah P. lie all goddamn night

Don’t lie in bed with the radio on
You will lose your sanity before long
When you hear Glenn Beck and his song

There’s lots of hate
And you can hear it
On that right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Listen to Limbaugh say
“Boy…Let’s bring Obama down!”

Oh no, “The Glenn Beck” show again.
I don’t wanna hear that show
Talk about “end times” and socialism, man, he such a fool
Turn it off
(Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off)

Sean Hannity is on at five
I feel like throwing up
When he spins
All that lame jive
Lives in a bubble where he is “the man”
Can’t be trusted
Cuz he lies
Like Glenn Beck and that’s a fact, man

Remember way back in two-thousand-seven
They said Romney and his cohorts
Would be leading us to heaven
If ol’ Rush Limbaugh
Could have had his way
“Operation Chaos”
Would have had Hilary Clinton
On election day
Hey!
Election day!
Hey!
No way!
Hey Rush, go away!

There must be a place we can tell them to go
A real hot place where they don’t have any snow
But they’re sure to have right wing radio

Huh-uh huh-uh huh-uh huh

Yeah, things get real stupid
On those stupid shows
The hosts are really daffy

There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
…No I never liked (right wing radio) disco! (right wing radio)
Nooooo (right wing radio) oooooo! (right wing radio)
(right wing radio, right wing radio)
Nooooooo!
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 80

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day during this unofficial first-weekend of summer!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “You Gotta Love It” features The St. Paul Pioneer Press. Tim Pawlenty‘s hometown newspaper printed the the former Minnesota Governor’s announcement to run as a Republican presidential candidate on its obituary page.

THIS JUST IN: Wisconsin state officials have scheduled the first recall elections of state Republican lawmakers for July 12. That day, voters will decide whether to recall three GOP lawmakers who supported Gov. Scott Walker’s bill to curb the collective bargaining rights of state workers.

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time that some Teapublican tells you that President Barack Obama has thrown Israel under the bus for suggesting a two state solution “based on” 1967 borders “with mutually agreed swaps”, please remind them to stifle their outrage inasmuch as President George W. Bush suggested the same thing in 2005. Where was all the shock then?

THIS JUST IN: Quote of the week: “In 2009 I had the sense if she made it to the White House and I had stayed silent, I could never forgive myself,” – Author and former Sarah Palin staffer Frank Bailey commenting to the Associated Press.

BREAKING NEWS:  Remember back during the 1988 presidential election season when Republicans seized upon furloughed criminal and recidivist Willie Horton as a means to attack Democratic nominee, Michael Dukakis? Well it looks like 2012 Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty now has his own Willie Horton to worry about. You see, two years ago Pawlenty pardoned and wiped clean the criminal record of Jeremy Geifer, who had been convicted for having sex with a 14 year old girl. Well, it turns out that Geifer sought to have his record cleared so that his wife could open a day care center. Turns out, Geifer has now been accused of molesting his own daughter.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Don’t Mess With The Medicare” features Republican candidate Jane Corwin and Tea Party candidate Jack Davis. In the heavily Republican New York 26th District, those candidates lost to Democrat Kathy Hochul as the result of their unqualified support for Republican Paul Ryan’s plan to dismantle the popular Medicare program. Going forward, it will be interesting to see how many Republican candidates attempt to distance themselves from their party’s plan. It is a “lose/lose” situation for the GOP because those politicians who run from the plan will disrupt party unity while those that continue to support it will face voter backlash. This will be fun to watch.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see the US Senate hold a vote on Republican Paul Ryan‘s Medicare Destruction Act. The final vote was 57-40 against passage of the bill, mostly along party lines. Republicans who joined the majority Democrats in opposing the measure were Scott Brown of Massachusetts, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Rand Paul of Kentucky, and Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine. Those GOP members that supported bill will now probably face massive voter backlash. Yipee!

THIS JUST IN:  For the sake of being, dare I say “fair and balanced”, we should note that not all vulgar hate speech comes from the right. Last week progressive talk radio and MSNBC television host Ed Schultz was rightfully suspended for referring to moonbat-crazy conservative radio host Laura Ingraham as a “right wing slut”. Schultz did the right by issuing an almost immediate apology but the fact remains that that type of language is hateful.

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “CAIR: Bin laden More Like ‘Neo-Nazi, White Supremacist'”. Reader Comment:  “CAIR is another enemy within. All Americans need to take action against mus lims. Do not do business with them, do not hire them, do not allow them respect or equality. It is up to the people to rid ourselves of this social cancer.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Fox On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MDCbIhTa_w

FOX ON THE RUN

(sung to the Sweet song “Fox On The Run”)

Why is that network insane
No one there has a brain
So easy to abhor
Each day they add a new pretty face
But they’re losing in the gene pool race
They speak like sidewalk whores

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Koo-Koo, that is the Fox network brand
As “fair and balanced” as DisneyLand
So easy to ignore
News, that is so God damned lame
Should hide their heads in shame
And show their hosts the door

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

(musical interlude)

F-foxy, Fox is on the run
They scream and think that we’re having fun
Take a run and hide yourself away
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Obama Made Eradicating Osama A Top Priority. Bush, Not So Much.

President Barack Obama kept his promise to the American people that he would capture or kill terrorist Osama bin Laden. In 2008 he made a campaign promise during a presidential debate moderated by Tom Brokaw and Katie Couric. Barack Obama said,

“And we have a difficult situation in Pakistan. I believe that part of the reason we have a difficult situation is because we made a bad judgment going into Iraq in the first place when we hadn’t finished the job of hunting down bin Laden and crushing al-Qaida.

So what happened was we got distracted, we diverted resources, and ultimately bin Laden escaped, set up base camps in the mountains of Pakistan in the northwest provinces there.

They are now raiding our troops in Afghanistan, destabilizing the situation. They’re stronger now than at any time since 2001. And that’s why I think it’s so important for us to reverse course because that’s the central front on terrorism. They are plotting to kill Americans right now. As Secretary Gates, the Defense secretary, said, the war against terrorism began in that region, and that’s where it will end.

So part of the reason I think it’s so important for us to end the war in Iraq is to be able to get more troops into Afghanistan, put more pressure on the Afghan government to do what it needs to do, eliminate some of the drug trafficking that’s funding terrorism.

But I do believe that we have to change our policies with Pakistan. We can’t coddle, as we did, a dictator, give him billions of dollars, and then he’s making peace treaties with the Taliban and militants. What I have said is we’re going encourage democracy in Pakistan, expand our non-military aid to Pakistan so that they have more of a stake in working with us, but insisting that they go after these militants.

And if we have Osama bin Laden in our sights and the Pakistani government is unable or unwilling to take them out, then I think that we have to act, and we will take them out.

We will kill bin Laden. We will crush al-Qaida. That has to be our biggest national security priority.

Later, as politico.com reminds us, “On June 2, 2009, just over four months into his presidency, Obama had signed a memo to CIA Director Leon Panetta stating,

“in order to ensure that we have expanded every effort, I direct you to provide me within 30 days a detailed operation plan for locating and bringing to justice’ bin Laden.

Then in September of 2010, during a White House news conference, President Obama reiterated his commitment to “capturing or killing” Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda No. 2 Ayman al-Zawahiri.

I think capturing or killing [them] would be extremely important to our national security,” he said. “Doesn’t solve all our problems, but it remains a high priority of this administration.”

The Hill http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/118067-obama-capturing-…

On May 1, 2011 President Obama delivered on his promise when Osama bin Laden was shot and killed during a Navy SEAL ambush of his hideout in Pakistan.

In stark contrast to the priority of President Obama, former President George W. Bush’s commitment to finding and capturing or killing bin Laden waned with the passage of time and his inability to locate the madman.

Two days after the 9/11 attacks, Bush said,

“The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.”

Shortly thereafter on September 17, 2001 Bush upped the ante and said,

“I want justice…There’s an old poster out West, as I recall, that said, ‘Wanted: Dead or Alive,'”

As Bush’s search for bin Laden was proving fruitless with the passege of time however, he began to change his tune.  On March 13, 2002 he said,

“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.”

That same day Bush added,

I am truly not that concerned about him.”

George W. Bush was not lying in 2002. From that point onward until the 2008 election he seldom ever mentioned the name of Osama bin Laden again.

OK then, now that we’re finished with that, let’s have some fun with a song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

F Troop theme link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/F_Troop.html

BUSH TROOP

(sung to the television theme of “F Troop”)

The dawn of the Iraq War was near
When coincidentally
Cheney and Bush got the limits pushed
And commenced torturous brutality.

The methods employed often maimed and killed
Which pleased Cheney’s vicious group.
The waterboard trick both chilled and thrilled
Nobody was appalled they were called Bush Troop.

With testicle bites and really bright lights
Their victims sure took a lickin’
From draft dodging war hawks
Who are just chickens.

When killing and maiming get them down
They know their morale can’t droop.
As long as they own old D.C. Town
They are sure to resume with a bang and a boom
Bush Troop.

A Victory For Obama And Our Nation

The next time your hear some brain-dead conservative proclaim that George W. Bush also deserves credit for the apprehension of Osama bin Laden, simply show them this:

Welcome to your second term, Barack Obama!

Lynnrockets’ Political Oscar Night Recap

John Boehner thanks the Academy

What with all the attention focused on Hollywood last night, you might not have noticed that the City of Boston held the 235th annual Political Oscars. The storied event was held on the U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides) in Boston Harbor so that the Tea Partiers in the audience would feel at home. Prior to the ceremony, the nominees were paraded along the famous Freedom Trail past such historic sites as America’s first voucher-less public school, Paul Revere’s home, the site of the Boston Massacre and the Bunker Hill Monument. As they boarded Old Ironsides, they were pelted with tea-bags before they took their seats on the poop-deck. The event was not widely seen on television because all of America’s lamestream media networks were covering the “other” more popular pageant in LA. Thankfully, Al Jazeera did cover the event.

And the winners were…

Best Female Violent Rhetoric: Failed Nevada Republican Senate candidate Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle

- Runner-up: Reality TV host Sarah Palin – “It’s time to reload”

Best Male Violent Rhetoric: Fox News host and self-described “rodeo clown” Glenn Beck who said, “I want to kill Charlie Rangel with a shovel”

- Runner-up: Failed Arizona Republican Congressional candidate Jesse Kelly who, while running against Gabrielle Giffords, held a fund-raising event that was advertised as “Help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office. Shoot a fully automatic M16 with Jesse Kelly”

Best Female Fictitious Memoir: Reality TV host Sarah Palin for her “America By Heart” wherein the self-professed founding fathers-lover wrote, on page 189,  about the opinions of Founding Father John Adams, including his famous quotation, “we have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion.”   Her mistake is not in her analysis of the importance of faith to John Adams.  No, her error came in claiming that he had been a “leading participant at the Constitutional Convention.” The reality is that John Adams did not participate in the Constitutional Convention. He was Ambassador to Great Britain at the time.

- Runner-up: Condoleeza Rice’s “Extraordinary, Ordinary People” because it fails to mention a single thing about the run-up to the invasion of iraq.

Best Male Fictitious Memoir: George W. Bush who quoted in “Decision Points”, Gerhard Schröder (then German Chancellor),  as having said of the run-up to the Iraq invasion, “What is true of Afghanistan is true of Iraq. Nations that sponsor terror must face consequences. If you make it fast and make it decisive, I will be with you.” Bush then wrote, “I took that as a statement of support. But when the German election arrived later that year, Schröder had a different take. He denounced the possibility of force against Iraq.” Schröder however has had this to say about Bush, “Just as I did during my subsequent meetings with the American president, I made it clear that, should Iraq … prove to have provided protection and hospitality to al-Qaida fighters, Germany would reliably stand beside the US. This connection, however, as it became clear during 2002, was false and constructed.”

- Runner-up: Donald Rumsfeld’s “Known and Unknown” in which he wrote, “Powell was not duped or misled by anybody. Nor did he lie about Saddam’s suspected WMD stockpiles. The president did not lie. The vice president did not lie. (CIA Director George) Tenet did not lie. Rice did not lie. I did not lie. . . . The far less dramatic truth is that we were wrong.” ‘Nuff said.

Best Republican Propaganist (TV): Fox News

Best Republican Propagandist (Radio): Rush Limbaugh

Best Tan: Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner (pronounced “boner”)

- Runner-up: President Barack Obama

Most Creepy Sex Scandal: Todd “First Dude” Palin for having sex with the same prostitute that wife Sarah Palin frequented for massages

- Runner-up: Former married GOP Rep. Chris Lee from New York for posting an eerie shirtless Craigslist ad allegedly searching for both female and transsexual sex partners

Biggest Lie Of The Year 2010: PolitiFact editors and reporters have chosen “government takeover of health care” as the 2010 Lie of the Year. Said Jonathan Oberlander, a professor of health policy at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill:  “The label ‘government takeover” has no basis in reality, but instead reflects a political dynamic where conservatives label any increase in government authority in health care as a ‘takeover.’ “

- Runner-up: Moonbat-crazy Teapublican Rep. Michele Bachmann’s (MN) claim that Obama was going to spend $200 million a day on a trip to India.

Most Racist State: Arizona, for its unconstitutional “Show me your papers” law

State Which Spends Least Per Pupil On Education: Arizona

Highest Profile Employer of Illegal Immigrants: Failed GOP gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman of California

- Runner-up: Failed GOP presidential candidate Mitt(wit) Romney of Massachusetts

Most Chaste Politician: Failed GOP senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell of Delaware who does not masturbate

- First runner-up: Former ex-quitting half-term Republican governor of Alaska Sarah Palin who’s husband allegedly gets his action from her masseuse

- Second Runner-up: Bristol Palin, the former unwed pregnant teen and single mother who now preaches abstinence

Most Unlikely Presidential Candidate: Republican Donald Trump who would lead this nation out of the worst economic downturn since the great depression with the knowledge and skill he acquired after having filed for bankruptcy on at least four occasions

- Runner-up: Sarah Palin, who said on her failed un-reality television program that she’d rather be in Alaska “than in some stuffy old political office.”

It was a truly memorable night and after all the awards were handed out, the winners and runner-ups all accompanied Master of Ceremonies Charley Sheen down to Boston’s notorious red-light district “The Combat Zone” for more fun and frolic!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter –  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 70

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Tea-Baggers will be heading to Wisconsin to stage a counter-protest to the state and local union members who are protesting the Republican governor’s attempt to disenfranchise them of their collective bargaining rights. Lynnrockets cannot wait to see the misspelled signs and incomprehensible slogans.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Take That!” features the Obama Administration which rescinded most of a federal regulation designed to protect health workers who refuse to provide care they find objectionable on personal or religious grounds. The Health and Human Services Department eliminated nearly the entire rule put into effect by the administration of President George W. Bush during his final days in office that was widely interpreted as allowing such workers to opt out of a broad range of medical services, such as providing the emergency contraceptive Plan B, treating gay men and lesbians and prescribing birth control to single women.

BREAKING NEWS: Ya gotta love the Green Bay Packers. No, not because the are the current Super Bowl champions and have the most championships of any team in the NFL, but because the publicly owned franchise’s players have signed a letter in support of the AFL-CIO’s efforts to derail Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker’s plan to cut union bargaining rights. Now that is a professional team you can believe in!

THIS JUST IN: Unfortunately, former whack-job Republican Senate candidate Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle has announced that she will not seek the GOP presidential nomination in 2012. With that announcement, Angle has denied many bloggers the opportunity to laugh out loud as they wrote about her campaign. Oh well, we still have Michele Bachmann for the time being.

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News online comment of the week. Headline:  Facebook Add Support for Same Sex Civil Unions. Comment:  “Eww…It’s disgusting! Im glad I don’t have facebook. Facebook has turn into Sodom and Gomorrah. Facebook praise gays, now. Puke!” How erudite.

THIS JUST IN: Don’t you love it when Barney Frank (D MA) lectures the Republicans on governance? On Thursday, Frank referred to the House Republicans’ draconian budget cuts as an “orgy of self-congratulation”. Let’s watch:

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Bushwacked” features who else but former President and torturer in chief, George W. Bush. Bush canceled a trip to Switzerland last week citing security concerns, but international human rights groups were prepared to have him indicted for torture while in the country. The groups maintain that Bush could be indicted if he travels to any of 147 countries that have signed the Convention Against Torture. Looks like Dubya will be trapped like an animal in the cage of the U.S. for some time.

THIS JUST IN: Boston Globe columnist Joan Vennochi brings up an interesting point in this morning’s edition of the newspaper.  She wrote, ” Senator Scott Brown’s {R-MA} revelations about a childhood that included sexual assault by a summer camp counselor are genuinely sympathy-inducing. But, they also make you wonder: in light of this searing experience when he was 10, how could Brown endorse Jeff Perry, the Republican congressional candidate, who, in 1991, allegedly stood by as a 14-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by a fellow police officer? The victim, Lisa Allen, came forward during the race that Perry ultimately lost and said that Perry “had to hear my screaming and crying. Instead of helping me, Jeff Perry denied anything happened.’’’ The other officer however entered a guilty plea and was convicted. Let’s get this straight, the Tea Party favorite Brown suffered at the hands of at least two sexual abusers, yet he still chose political party loyalty over morality when he endorsed a Republican candidate who, despite being a police officer, allegedly stood by and did nothing when a young girl was being sexually molested by his partner. Is that change you can believe in? BTW, Brown will be featured on “60 Minutes” this evening.

BREAKING NEWS: It would not be a complete weekly recap without some mention of Sarah Palin. Thankfully a book written by a former aid of the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has been leaked. The author, Frank Bailey alleges therein that Palin hated being governor, festered with petty grievances and broke election laws by coordinating with the Republican Governors Association during her 2006 campaign for governor. The clock is now ticking with regard to how long it will take Palin to respond via either Facebook, Twitter or on Fox News.

THIS JUST IN: On Friday the Republican controlled House voted to defund Planned Parenthood. Do not worry however, because the Senate will never let that fly. Nevertheless, it was the perfect opportunity for Fox NewsGlenn Beck to go on a meritless rant against the organization. Beck spent his entire show yesterday railing against the non-profit. He so far to claim that the organization assists in sex trafficking operations involving underage girls. Honestly, at this point why doesn’t the wacky lunatic blame the Egyptian uprising on Planned parenthood also?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

That Smell song clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6q9nBusrq8

BECK’S SMELL

(sung to the Lynyrd Skynyrd song “That Smell”)

Whiskey bottles and drug filled jars
Those were Glenn Beck’s best days
Way too much coke and too much smoke
How does Fox News take pride in you?

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Yeah,

Angel of darkness is in our view
He’s a weasel doing harm (you fool, you)
The bloviating bloke, has a show that just blows
Have a drink, fool, you clown, you (hell, yeah)

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Righties call Beck prince charming
They take his word as the gospel truth
Yet Glenn Beck’s logic is hollow, and
Fox News just might learn he has no clue (no, clue)

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

(crying break)

Oh, Glenn Beck’s views
Do nothing else but spread alarm
Beck’s a fear-mongering bore

(Nazi reference break)

Beck has his own little Waterloo

It’s a monkey on his back
Sponsors have split from his racist schticks
One hell of a price and Beck’s show might get nixed (hell, yeah)

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
Don’t Glenn smell like hell?
Ooh, ooh Beck’s smell
The smell of Beck surrounds you

Oh, Glenn Beck’s views
Do nothing else but spread alarm
Beck’s just a fool, just a fool, just a fool.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 59

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of right-wing talk radio gone whacko took place in Boston this week. Jay Severin hosts a program which airs on a Boston, MA radio station, known to  progressives as WKKK. Severin, (who changed his name from James Severino a number of years back, presumably to avoid any ethnic stereotyping) is a cowardly conservative host who has embellished his academic credentials and falsely claimed that he was the recipient of a Pulitzer Prize. He is, in essence, a light-weight Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. He was suspended by his station about a year ago as the result of vicious racist comments made against Mexicans. This week Severin also joined the ranks of conspiracy theorists. He claims that the unidentified plume which appeared off the California coast this week was actually a Chinese warning missile aimed at the U.S. because of that nation’s distaste for President Obama. He must have obtained his information from some classified documents provided by Christine O’Donnell.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Best Quote Of The Week” stars MSNBC‘s Keith Olbermann, who said of his campaign contribution suspension, “And then suddenly I’m fundraising for them passively or aggressively and we’re accidentally Fox.” Short, sweet and so true.

BREAKING NEWS: Ya gotta love Democratic Senator Michael Bennett of Colorado who one-upped the Republicans this week. Bennett said that Democrats will revisit health care reform also, too, particularly to ensure affordable premiums. He and the Democrats want to make a “good” law “better”.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Money Not Wisely Spent” co-stars Teapublican losers Sharron “No Alcohol” Angle and Linda “Steroid Queen” McMahon. In the end their losing campaigns led the nation in the category of dollars spent per vote received. Each of them spent $ 97.00 for each of their losing votes. Apparently money cannot buy everything.

BREAKING NEWS: Teapublican nut-job Rand Paul has not even been seated in the Senate yet and he has already started a civil war amongst his supporters which is likely to cost him his seat in the next election. First, he stabbed his Tea-Bagging supporters in the back when he reversed his campaign pledge against voting in favor of earmarks. Paul now says that he will fight for every dollar available to his state of Kentucky. Next, Paul alienated his Republican supporters by advocating reductions in defense spending. Rand Paul, Kentucky’s next one term Senator.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Stating The Obvious” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has predicted that she will face harsh personal criticism in the aftermath of the mid-term elections as pressure continues to build against her probable bid for the 2012 Republican Presidential and Cookie-Baker in Chief nomination.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Representative Joe Barton declared this week that repealing the newly enacted Health Care Reform law is his “Alomo”. Does the Texan realize that we lost the Battle of the Alomo, or has he been reading those revised Texas school text books again?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Who Get It” features moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins of Maine. She told the Kennebec Times that she blames Sarah Palin for costing the GOP Senate seats — and she thinks Palin would rather be a “celebrity commentator” than run for president and govern. Here’s hoping that Collins will soon do the right thing and switch parties?

BREAKING NEWS: In light of all of his admissions about authorizing torture, is it likely that major bookstores will display former President George W. Bush‘s memoir Decision Points in the “True Crime” section?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “How To Lose Your Job On Fox News” features Mort Kondracke. This week, the Fox contributor called Teapublican Rep. Michelle “Moonbat Crazy” Bachmann a “loudmouth”. His days at Fox are now numbered.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 58

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Not All Of My Children” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has just released a new ad which looks strikingly like a Presidential candidate’s ad. In it, she makes reference to all her wonderful “Mama Grizzlies”. Problem is, she apparently has disinherited some of her unsuccessful cubs. Christine O’Donnell, Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle and Linda McMahon are all conspicuously absent. Let’s watch…

THIS JUST IN: Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) gave the most spot-on victory speech last Tuesday evening. After trouncing the Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Sean Bielat, he said this…

Go get’em Barney!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Despicable Me” stars Sarah Palin. The Queen of Quit included the following “tweet” as one of her favorites on her Twitter account: “The Blood of Jesus ATLAH World Missionary Church” in New York. The sign read: “The blood of Jesus against Obama history made 4 Nov 2008 a Taliban Muslim illegally elected president USA:Hussein.” The next time someone tells you that members of the Tea Party are not racist, vile, violent and deranged, show them Palin’s favorite “tweet”.

THIS JUST IN: It was nice to see the Democrats pick-up a few election victories after Tuesday. Patty Murray won a Washington Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Dino Rossi; Pat Quinn won the Illinois Governor’s race by defeating far-right Republican Bill Brady; John Kitzhaber won the Oregon Governor’s race by defeating Republican Chris Dudley; Michael Bennet won a Colorado Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Ken Buck and John Hickenlooper won the Colorado Governor’s race by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Tea-Bagger Tom Tancredo. Dan Malloy won the Connecticut Governor’s race by defeating republican Tom Foley. Most surprising of all however, was that Jenny Oropeza won a California state senate seat by defeating Republican John Stammreich. This is startling because Ms. Oropeza passed away two weeks before the election.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Never Trust An Unnamed Source Unless It Furthers My Agenda” features Minnesota’s Teapublican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. The moon-bat crazy Bachmann was punked into believing an anonymous source quoted by an Indian newspaper that claimed that President Obama’s 10 day trip to India will cost in excess of $ 2 billion: $200 million a day, 34 diverted Navy ships, a 2,000-person presidential entourage, and 870 hotel rooms in India. To put things in perspective, the alleged daily cost of the trip would exceed the daily cost of the Afghan war. When pressed by CNN‘s Anderson Cooper to back up her numbers, Bachmann responded, “These are the numbers that are coming out in the press.” Of course she forgot to mention that the “press’ which she relied upon consisted of an unnamed Indian and the Drudge Report. The story has been denied by the Obama administration as “wildly inflated”. Michelle Bachmann is a crazy person and anyone that votes for her should be institutionalized.

THIS JUST IN: The next time some Tea Partier tells you that, as a result of the Republican capture of the House of Representatives in the last election, the Health Care Reform Law will now be repealed, tell them this. Tommy Thompson, the health and human services secretary under President George W. Bush says,

“When it’s all said and done, you’re not going to be able to repeal health care because President Obama is not going to sign it. And they don’t have enough votes to override a veto, so why push a cart uphill when you know it’s not going to be able to get to the top?”

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Ouch! That’s Gonna Leave A Mark” co-stars former President George W. Bush and former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. The concensus fifth worst President in the history of our great nation has told friends that Palin is not qualified to be President. “Naming Palin makes Bush think less of McCain as a man,” a Republican official familiar with Bush’s thinking told the Daily News. “He thinks McCain ran a lousy campaign with an unqualified running mate and destroyed any chance of winning by picking Palin.” Heckuva job, McCain.
THIS JUST IN: David Letterman: “[Sarah Palin] says she wants limited government. … Does she mean fewer elected officials? Or few elected officials who will resign in the middle of their term? I think limited government will be perfect for her limited abilities.”
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

The Ballad Of Davey Crockett song link:  http://www.televisiontunes.com/Davey_Crocket.html

THE BALLAD OF SARAH PALIN

(sung to the television theme song “Ballad Of Davey Crockett”)

Lives in a compound up in Wassilly,
Behind a big fence so Joe can’t see
She got a taste of being “Mavericky”,
So she quit her job as Alaska’s G
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Tea-Baggers follow her where she goes,
Starin’ at their tv’s when she’s on Fox shows
A Palin sighting sets them all aglow,
As she shakes their hands and then takes all their dough
Sarah, Sarah Palin, spreading her hate and fear!

Through Red State woods she’s a marchin’ along,
Makin’ up yarns like her “death panel” song
Her looks are frightenin’ and she smells quite strong,
She’s really just a liar with facts all wrong
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the brain-dead buccaneer!

Letterman said that she dresses like a whore,
Then she screamed so much that her throat got sore
She had money but she needed some more,
Got herself a Greyhound for her book tour
Sarah, Sarah Palin, profiteering pioneer!

She says the Lord is her guiding hand,
And dinosaurs co-existed with man
All those books that disagree should be banned,
That sciencey stuff she don’t understand
Sarah, Sarah Palin, logic she will not hear!

She believes that Congress should go to Hell,
She will send them there by castin’ a witch spell
Palin wants Washington to listen well,
To all those fabrications that she does tell
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the moonbat of the year!

When she goes home her politickin’ done,
Alaskans all will up and run
But Sarah will pick up her trusty gun,
And shoot up all her neighbors just for fun
Sarah, Sarah Palin, her rifle sight is clear!

She moved to Houston an’ Austin so,
To the southern states she just had to go
Tea-Baggers were fightin’ another foe,
And Sarah hates the immigrant Joe
Sarah, Sarah Palin, nativist without peer!

She’s not the smartest but she is dumbest,
Despite six schools could not pass a test
When it comes to being dumb she’s the best,
She should make her home in a cuckoo’s nest
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Bush Tortured? Damn Right!

Not that there was ever any doubt but George W, Bush, one of the worst Presidents in history, finally admits that he tortured captives. Despite the fact that torture is illegal, Bush lamely attempted to justify his actions in a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey. He admits that he gave the go ahead for waterboarding terror suspects.

“CIA experts drew up a list of interrogation techniques. … At my direction, Department of Justice and CIA lawyers conducted a careful legal review. The enhanced interrogation program complied with the Constitution and all applicable laws, including those that ban torture.

“There were two that I felt went too far, even if they were legal. I directed the CIA not to use them. Another technique was waterboarding, a process of simulated drowning. No doubt the procedure was tough, but medical experts assured the CIA that it did no lasting harm.”

Bush does not seem to understand that when the United States of America breaches its own ideals and international laws, it creates a “lasting harm” to its own image. When this great nation of ours stoops to the despicable depths of the tyrannical governments, we become not a guiding light for others to follow, but a darkened cave to avoid. No civilized nation of laws should close its eyes to this man’s blatant disregard for human dignity. If we, as a nation, are who we claim we are, George W. Bush should now be criminally prosecuted.

OK then, now that we’re finished with that, let’s have some fun with a song parody…

F Troop link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/F_Troop.html

BUSH TROOP

(sung to the television theme of “F Troop”)

The dawn of the Iraq War was near
When coincidentally
Cheney and Bush got the limits pushed
And commenced torturous brutality.

The methods employed often maimed and killed
Which pleased Cheney’s vicious group.
The waterboard trick both chilled and thrilled
Nobody was appalled they were called Bush Troop.

With testicle bites and really bright lights
Their victims sure took a lickin’
From draft dodging war hawks
Who are just chickens.

When killing and maiming get them down
They know their morale can’t droop.
As long as they own old D.C. Town
They are sure to resume with a bang and a boom
Bush Troop.

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