A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon

Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:

• Glenn Beck
• Ron Paul
• Rush Limbaugh
• Donald Trump
• Michelle Malkin
• Newt Gingrich
• Ann Coulter
• Michele Bachmann
• Sean Hannity
• Sarah Palin
• Laura Ingraham
• Rand Paul
• Tucker Carlson
• Rudi Giuliani
• Christine O’Donnell
• Larry Craig
• Michael Savage
• David Vitter
• Scott Brown
• Dick Morris
• Fox News
• Dick Cheney
• Tea Party

Here’s what comes to my mind:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

BREAKING NEWS: Nudist Teapublican Senator Scott Brown Was Buggered!

Scott Brown chuckles during his "60 Minutes" interview.

Sometimes you just have to wonder what inspires  people to reveal personal things. It was just over a year ago that the Tea Party claimed its first election victory at the federal level. In the special election to fill the late Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat, the Sarah Palin-endorsed Scott Brown upset the heavily favored Martha Coakley and a Republican was elected in that bluest of blue states for the first time in decades.

Brown immediately became the poster child for the defeat of the Democrats’ health care reform legislation (despite the fact that he voted in favor of the passage of the very same law while he was a Massachusetts state representative just 4 years earlier). He failed. The Democrats passed the health care reform law despite Brown’s so-called “41st vote” by means of utilizing the reconciliation procedure. Brown’s status continued to decline within conservative circles when he shunned appearing with Sarah Palin at her Boston Tea Party rally. Thereafter, he really started pissing-off the Tea Baggers when he began voting with Democrats on a job creation bill and the sweeping financial regulation package. Scott Brown’s star was fading in Republican circles.

No longer was Scott Brown one of the “go-to” guys for a Fox News soundbyte. All talk of a future Republican bid for President had ceased. The Republican Senate leadership even unceremoniously evicted him from Ted Kennedy’s cushy Capitol office space and banished him to a cubby-hole in a separate building. Jeesh, what does a former Tea Party star have to do to get some attention in the Beltway?

Let’s see. He could get involved in a sex scandal like fellow Republicans David Vitter, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Mark Foley or John Boehner (pronounced “boner”). But no, that would be too predictable and stale these days. Wait a minute, he could take the opposite approach. He could play the role of a victim of a sexual predator.

And voila! Scott Brown has just injected himself back into the public spotlight by revealing in an interview with CBS‘ “60 Minutes” that he was sexually abused at the age of 10. CNN reports today that he said,

“Fortunately, nothing was ever fully consummated so to speak. It was certainly, back then, very traumatic. “He [the perpetrator] said, ‘If you tell anybody, I’ll kill you. I’ll make sure nobody believes you,’”.That’s the biggest thing. When people find people like me at that young vulnerable age that are basically lost. The thing that they have over you is that that they make you believe no one will believe you.”

The Boston Globe reports that the perpetrator was a male camp counselor and some of the details will be provided in Brown’s autobiography which will be released on Monday. Brown said that the molestation took place on Cape Cod at a religious camp. He did not however, disclose the name of the camp in his book, or the denomination.

“I can remember how he looked, every inch of him: his long sandy, light brown hair; his long, full mustache; the beads he wore; the tie-dyed T-shirts and the cutoff jeans, which gave him the look of a hippie,” Brown writes in the book, “Against All Odds.”

The Boston Globe further reports, Brown said the abuse occurred when he went to the camp infirmary, not feeling well. The counselor followed him into the bathroom, according to Brown’s account.

“I was standing there with my pants down and he came right up next to me and asked me if I needed help, and then he reached out his hand,” Brown writes, continuing with a graphic description of the encounter.

In his book, Brown says the incident with the counselor was not the first time he faced a potential sex abuser. In an earlier episode Brown describes, when he was about 8 and living in Malden, MA, he befriended a 13-year old boy from the neighborhood. Late one winter afternoon, the friend approached Brown in the woods, threatened him with a knife, and commanded Brown to perform a sexual act, according to Brown’s account. Feeling desperate, Brown says, he hit the teenager in the face with a rock and ran away.

“To this day,” the senator writes, “I can still see the flash of that knife blade in the woods and the thirteen-year-old boy with his pants down.”

Brown claims that he had never revealed the attacks until this interview. You have to wonder if the episodes had any influence on his past nude modeling. Too bad “60 Minutes” did not enquire into that.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Centerfold song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqDjMZKf-wg&playnext=1&list=PL9B0677232540092C

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(REPEAT)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 66

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

First of all, GO PATRIOTS! De”feet” the JETS!

BREAKING NEWS: In case you have not noticed, President Barack Obama‘s approval rating has climbed steadily in recent weeks to its highest point in nearly a year. According to an Associated Press-GfK poll, 53 percent of Americans surveyed said that they approve of how Obama is doing his job. Obama’s approval was last at 53 percent in early March 2010, before his health care reform bill was passed in its final form. The poll was conducted between January 5th and 10th. No doubt the rating will rise even more after the president’s recent speech in Tucson, Arizona.

THIS JUST IN: In case you are interested here is the most recent list of the 50 states as ranked by gun fatalities per 100,000 residents as provided by the Daily Beast.

#1, Mississippi Gun deaths per 100,000: 18.3 Permissive gun laws: 4th out of 50

#2, Arizona Gun deaths per 100,000: 15 Permissive gun laws: 1st out of 50

#3, Alaska Gun deaths per 100,000: 17.6 Permissive gun laws: 11th out of 50

#4, Arkansas Gun deaths per 100,000: 15.1 Permissive gun laws: 7th out of 50

#5, Louisiana Gun deaths per 100,000: 19.9 Permissive gun laws: 23rd out of 50

#6, New Mexico Gun deaths per 100,000: 15 Permissive gun laws: 6th out of 50

#7, Alabama Gun deaths per 100,000: 17.6 Permissive gun laws: 27th out of 50

#8, Nevada Gun deaths per 100,000: 16.2 Permissive gun laws: 22nd out of 50

#9, Montana Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.5 Permissive gun laws: 10th out of 50

#10, Wyoming Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.5 Permissive gun laws: 8th out of 50

#11, Kentucky Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.4 Permissive gun laws: 5th out of 50

#12, West Virginia Gun deaths per 100,000: 14.8 Permissive gun laws: 25th out of 50

#13, Tennessee Gun deaths per 100,000: 15 Permissive gun laws: 31st out of 50

#14, Oklahoma Gun deaths per 100,000: 13.4 Permissive gun laws: 17th out of 50

#15, Idaho Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.5 Permissive gun laws: 2nd out of 50

#16, Georgia Gun deaths per 100,000: 13.1 Permissive gun laws: 13th out of 50

#17, Missouri Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.9 Permissive gun laws: 12th out of 50

#18, South Carolina Gun deaths per 100,000: 13.4 Permissive gun laws: 20th out of 50

#19, North Carolina Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.3 Permissive gun laws: 28th out of 50

#20, Florida Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.5 Permissive gun laws: 41st out of 50

#21, Kansas Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.5 Permissive gun laws: 14th out of 50

#22, Indiana Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.6 Permissive gun laws: 21st out of 50

#23, Texas Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.7 Permissive gun laws: 32nd out of 50

#24, Michigan Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.9 Permissive gun laws: 39th out of 50

#25, Maryland Gun deaths per 100,000: 12.1 Permissive gun laws: 44th out of 50

#26, Colorado Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.4 Permissive gun laws: 24rd out of 50

#27, Pennsylvania Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.7 Permissive gun laws: 40th out of 50

#28, Virginia Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.7 Permissive gun laws: 35th out of 50

#29, Utah Gun deaths per 100,000: 9.5 Permissive gun laws: 18th out of 50

#30, Vermont Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.4 Permissive gun laws: 3rd out of 50

#31, Oregon Gun deaths per 100,000: 10.4 Permissive gun laws: 30th out of 50

#32, North Dakota Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.9 Permissive gun laws: 15th out of 50

#33, Ohio Gun deaths per 100,000: 9.6 Permissive gun laws: 29th out of 50

#34, Maine Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.1 Permissive gun laws: 9th out of 50

#35, Delaware Gun deaths per 100,000: 9.2 Permissive gun laws: 33rd out of 50

#36, Wisconsin Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.7 Permissive gun laws: 34th out of 50

#37, Nebraska Gun deaths per 100,000: 8 Permissive gun laws: 19th out of 50

#38, South Dakota Gun deaths per 100,000: 6.5 Permissive gun laws: 16th out of 50

#39, Washington Gun deaths per 100,000: 8.5 Permissive gun laws: 37th out of 50

#40, California Gun deaths per 100,000: 9 Permissive gun laws: 50th out of 50

#41, New Hampshire Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.9 Permissive gun laws: 26th out of 50

#42, Minnesota Gun deaths per 100,000: 6.6 Permissive gun laws: 36th out of 50

#43, Illinois Gun deaths per 100,000: 8 Permissive gun laws: 45th out of 50

#44, Iowa Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.3 Permissive gun laws: 38th out of 50

#45, New York Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.1 Permissive gun laws: 43rd out of 50

#46, New Jersey Gun deaths per 100,000: 5.2 Permissive gun laws: 49th out of 50

#47, Connecticut Gun deaths per 100,000: 4.3 Permissive gun laws: 46th out of 50

#48, Rhode Island Gun deaths per 100,000: 3.5 Permissive gun laws: 42nd out of 50

#49, Massachusetts Gun deaths per 100,000: 3.6 Permissive gun laws: 48th out of 50

#50, Hawaii Gun deaths per 100,000: 2.8 Permissive gun laws: 47th out of 50

As you will notice, 17 of the 20 states with the most gun fatalities per-capita are Red (Republican/conservative) states. Conversely, the 11 states with the fewest gun fatalities per-capita are Blue (Democratic/liberal) states. “Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: Remember not too long ago when rap singers were criticized by those on the right for their violent lyrics? Those lyrics, we were told, could inspire violence. Then why are those on the right not as equally aghast at the violent rhetoric and symbolism which is fostered by Sarah Palin (Don’t retreat – RELOAD”, Sharron Angle (2nd Amendment remedies), Glenn Beck (Kill Charlie Rangel with a shovel), Ann “The Man” Coulter (Timothy McVeigh should have bombed the New York Times building) and Mike Huckabee (That’s Obama diving to the floor to avoid gunshots)? Good question?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I Don’t Know Much About History” features Glenn Beck. He criticized the House Republican leadership for its decision not to read the “three fifths of a person” language of the original Constitution which was subsequently replaced through amendment. Beck said,

“Three-fifths clause. African-Americans: three-fifths in the South, three-fifths of a human being. That’s an outrage, unless you know why they put that in there. They put that in there because if slaves in the South were counted as full human beings, they could never abolish slavery. They would never be able to do it. It was a time bomb. Progressives should love that. It was a way to take a step to abolish slavery.”

As is usually the case, Beck could not have been more wrong.University of Pennsylvania history professor Rick Beeman states,

“They put [the three-fifths clause] there because delegates from the Southern states would never have agreed to the Constitution unless some weight was given to their slave populations in the apportionment of representation. They wanted slaves counted 100%, but when they saw that they could not get that, they settled for 3/5. The practical effect of that, far from making easier to abolish slavery, made it more difficult. It gave added weight to southern political power in Congress, it inflated Southern power in the apportioning of electoral votes, which led to a succession of Southern presidents. Ironically, the best thing that could have been done with respect to making it easier to abolish slavery would have been to have given slaves NO weight in the apportioning of representation.”

Glenn Beck never lets the facts get in the way of a good lie.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Why Can’t I Get The Toothpaste Back In The Tube” features former Minnesota Governor Tim “Good &” Pawlenty. The likely Republican candidate for the 2012 presidency told anti-gay radio host Brian Fischer that he we would support reinstating the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” ban on gays in the military. This begs the question, just how could a reinstatement be accomplished? Would the gay soldiers that came out be forced to then go back into the closet? Additionally, would the military brass somehow magically be able to forget the identities of those soldiers that did come out? Please Tim, do tell.

THIS JUST IN: After having come under fire from all quarters this past week for fostering violent rhetoric, the right-wing talking heads can now turn their attention to one of their favorite whipping boards; the French. This week a brawling smoker turned his trans-Atlantic flight from France into something resembling a bar fight and is facing criminal charges. The man was illegally smoking in the rest room and when confronted, he started a fight. After finally being apprehended by federal air marshals the passenger continued to verbally abuse individuals around him, yelling in substance ‘I’m French, f*** you!’” This event will have Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity chirping for days.

BREAKING NEWS: On Friday afternoon Michael Steele stepped down from the chairmanship of the Republican National Committee. Really, was there ever any doubt about that happening? Now Steele will have all the time he needs to spend with lesbian bondage strippers.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Tell Us Something That Wasn’t Obvious” features former President Ronald Reagan. His youngest son Ron Reagan, Jr. revealed in his new book that he believes his father showed signs of Alzheimer’s disease while he was in the White House. In the book titled “My Father at 100,” which is due out next week, Ron Reagan writes, “Three years into his first term as President … I was feeling the first shivers of concern that something beyond mellowing was affecting my father.” It is only a matter of time now before senior members of the G.O.P. and right-wing shock jocks begin undermining Reagan Jr. for having the audacity to speak truthfully about his own father.

BREAKING NEWS: Arizona state and federal law enforcement officials have conclusively proved that killer Jared Loughner is, in fact, a member of the Republican Party. A recently discovered roll of 35mm film contained a photograph of Loughner posing with a 9mm handgun while wearing a red G-string. This is incontrovertible proof that Loughner is a member of the G.O.P. because numerous members of that party have displayed an affinity for being photographed with either firearms or fetish wear. David “Diapers” Vitter and Rudolph “9/11″ Giuliani were unavailable for comment.

Rudy "9/11" Giuliani

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av3em

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Glenn Beck And Child Pornography? Who Knew?

Watching Glenn Beck’s mental stability deteriorate before our very eyes is like viewing the aftermath of a terrible car accident. It is disgusting and revolting yet somehow simultaneously compelling. The gore and stench is vomit-inducing, yet we continue to bear with it so that we can viscerally experience the full ugly scene. Nevertheless, when the carnage and debris is finally carted away, the spectacle is quickly forgotten and we resume our daily lives. Let’s hope that is the way that the Glenn Beck meltdown plays out. It will be best for America if Glenn Beck is remembered as a momentary disaster from which most of us emerged unscathed.

Fox News should someday be embarrassed by the fact that it marketed Glenn Beck as a serious voice in the realm of political discourse. This raving, crying man-baby should never have been offered the opportunity to broadcast his uber-conservative conspiracy theories to the nationwide masses without prefacing each show with one of those “The views and opinions of Glenn Beck should in no way be considered as representative of those of a sane person” disclaimers. After all, his college career lasted all of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. Beck is also the guy who went on national television and reported that President Obama has “a deep-seated hatred for white people.” He is clearly unhinged and the “hatred for white people” comment initiated a massive and continuing advertiser boycott of his program.

During the last week, Beck’s witch-hunt has been directed at billionaire George Soros, the straw-man demon of all conservatives. Soros of course, is the Jewish Holocaust survivor,  businessman and notable philanthropist focused on supporting liberal ideals and causes. He played a significant role in the peaceful transition from communism to capitalism in Hungary and provided Europe’s largest-ever higher education endowment to Central European University in Budapest. In the United States, he is known for donating large sums of money in an effort to defeat President George W. Bush’s bid for re-election in 2004. He was an initial donor to the Center for American Progress, and he continues to support the organization through the Open Society Foundations. He contributes to such fact-checking and political myth debunking entities as MoveOn.org and MediaMatters.org.

By virtue of his philanthropy and liberal agenda, George Soros is considered a dangerous enemy by Fox News as a whole and Glenn Beck in particular. So how does Beck counter Soros? Easy, he does it by lying and twisting the laws of physics in such a way that he labels the Jewish Holocaust survivor as an anti-semitic Holocaust collaborator. Beck went so far as to suggest that Soros helped “send the Jews” to “death camps” during the Holocaust. Beck said that Soros had “to go and confiscate the property of your fellow Jews” during the Holocaust.

Becks blatantly false accusations against Soros led to widespread condemnation from prominent Jewish leaders and Holocaust survivors. Anti-Defamation League national director Abraham H. Foxman called the comments “completely inappropriate, offensive and over the top,” as well as “unacceptable” and “horrific.” Elan Steinberg, vice president of the the American Gathering of Jewish Holocaust Survivors and Their Descendants, called the Beck accusations “monstrous.” And Simon Greer, president of the Jewish Funds for Justice, said that Beck had “deliberately and grotesquely mischaracterize[d]” Soros’ experience and engaged in “a form of Holocaust revisionism.”

Truth be told, Soros was thirteen years old in March 1944 when Nazi Germany occupied Hungary. Soros worked for the Jewish Council, which had been established during the Nazi occupation of Hungary to forcibly carry out Nazi and Hungarian government anti-Jewish measures. Soros later described this time to writer Michael Lewis:

The Jewish Council asked the little kids to hand out the deportation notices. I was told to go to the Jewish Council. And there I was given these small slips of paper…It said report to the rabbi seminary at 9 a.m….And I was given this list of names. I took this piece of paper to my father. He instantly recognized it. This was a list of Hungarian Jewish lawyers. He said, “You deliver the slips of paper and tell the people that if they report they will be deported.”

In 1944, at age 14, Soros lived with and posed as the godson of an employee of the Hungarian Ministry of Agriculture. On one occasion, the official was ordered to inventory the remaining contents of the estate of a wealthy Jewish family that had fled the country. Rather than leave the young George alone in the city, the official brought him along. Soros was merely a young boy attempting to stay alive by hiding his identity. He never confiscated any property. He was merely a bystander on that one occasion.

When Glenn Beck finally realized what a firestorm of contempt he had ignited with his false accusations, he immediately went on the defensive. He concocted a brand new fictitious conspiracy in which he claims that he will be falsely accused of something of which he is not guilty (or is he?) as a means of liberal revenge. He said this on his radio program:

“I thought about this morning as I was saying my prayers this morning, and I was reading Psalms, I thought to myself, ‘I’m glad my children will always know the truth.’ And I thought of all the things they could possibly say—the greatest thing I have going for me is I have no lies in my life. I don’t have lies in my life. I— I— I—I—I’m—I pay my income tax. I—I—I pay my bills. I’m honest in all of my business dealings. I try to be a good guy. I’m not always a good guy. I try to be a good guy. I try to be a good parent. I—I don’t drink; I don’t take drugs. I—uhh—you know—I’m not—I’m not into ch—I’m not even into—I was going to say I’m not into child pornography. I’m not only not into child pornography, I’m not into pornography. So, no matter what you read about me—no matter what you read about me, umm, in the coming months, or whenever, that’s fine. I really—I mean—I can’t imagine what they’re gonna—but they have to say something. There has to be something fabricated about me. Has to be! You just can’t let this juggernaut go as we’re changing everything because I’m rolling dude heavy.”

Hey Glenn, just because you are paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you! But jeesh, child pornography? What’s up with that? Sounds to us like maybe you are already setting up some sort of alibi. Why is it that with ultra-conservatives it always comes down to some sort of illicit sex scandal? You know, like “Diaper” Dave Vitter and his prostitutes, Larry “Loo” Craig and his foot tapping men’s room escapade, Mark Sanford “and Son” and his South of the Border soirees and Sarah Palin and her sex-targeted children just to name a few? But child pornography, Glenn? How low can you go?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

“Diaper” Dave Vitter Does A Dirty

Senator David Vitter (R) Lousiana has become another gift that keeps on giving. Just a few years ago the philandering “family values” Republican was revealed to be a repeat customer of a prostitution ring. To add insult to injury, his favorite hooker also revealed that the big baby liked to don diapers during his sessions. You would think that a revelation such as that would have caused the G.O.P. leadership to call for his resignation but such was not the case. You see, the Governor of Louisiana was a Democrat and under state law she would have been allowed to appoint Vitter’s replacement. Hence the “do as we say, not as we do” Republicans turned a blind eye to Diaper Dave’s transgressions.

Now Vitter’s embarrassing past may finally catch up to him. Charlie Melancon, the Democratic Senate nominee in Louisiana, plans to run a two-minute television ad as early as Wednesday night addressing his GOP opponent’s 2007 prostitution scandal. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Yikes, the poop doesn’t fall far from the Pampers!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Walk Like An Egyptian song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc5jjHhD9BY

WALK WITH AN ERECTION

(sung to the Bangles song “Walk Like An Egyptian”)

All the G.O.P.s in bedrooms
They do the sex dance with their hoes
They’re getting their kicks (oh whey oh)
They think that their wives will never know

There sat Larry Craig with a smile
Hoping to score a tete-a-tete
He set for awhile (oh whey oh)
On the airport Men’s Room toilet

Cleans his pipe with a Handy Wipe play
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

Mark Sanford goes missing for days
In South America for a score
He’s got the moves (oh whey oh)
But he’s a fink and his gal’s a whore

John Ensign met his while at work
Along with her son and her husband
He paid them like kings (oh whey oh)
No talking of his erection

All the guys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

(musical interlude)

Newt Gingrich left his wife with no tact
In the cancer ward on her back
Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)
He even took her new Cadillac

Mark Vitter pulled out all the stops
His escorts charged him the very tops
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)
Spent his way right into hawk

Then there’s Mark Foley with his men
He says he won’t do it again
But those heinies know (oh whey oh)
He works with a big erection

All the boys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection
Walk with an erection

(Diaper)Dave Vitter Dissed By Bobby Jindal(Bells)

Louisiana's Gov. Bobby Jindal(Bells) and Sen. (Diaper)Dave Vitter

The most crooked political party in one of the crookedest states in the Union has a genuine case of infighting. CNN reports that Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal(Bells) has finally answered a questioned asked of him for months: Will he endorse embattled Republican Sen. (Diaper)David Vitter’s reelection bid? Jindal’s answer is “no”. He told local television station WDSU that, “Voters can make up their own minds”.

Jindal added he doesn’t like to get involved in federal races, though the station reports he has backed federal-office seekers in the past.

Jindal’s rejection of Vitter exacerbates the problems that have arisen from reports in 2007 that the married Senator was involved with a Washington, DC prostitute (while he was wearing diapers) and revelations earlier this year that a high-ranking staffer who’s position was to oversee “women’s issues” was permitted to stay on the job after being convicted of domestic abuse charges involving the stabbing of a female.

It is always most enjoyable to watch Republicans eat their own.

Please remember to click on the song links below to familiarize yourselves with both of the tunes and to have more fun singing along with today’s duo of song parodies.

Getting Better song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk0dBZ1meio

DAVID VITTER

(sung to the Beatles song “Getting Better”)

It’s David Vitter all the time
That David Vitter is a fool (only half a brain)
His hookers tell him that he’s cool (as they drain the vein)
Just like Scottie Brown (oh,oh)
Trousers are down (oh, oh)
Vitter just stutters and drools (Oooh)

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

A useless and angry young man
Dave’s now universally panned
Let’s give him the bird, that obnoxious turd
Let’s give it to him with both hands

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

Dave loves to be cruel to his woman
He cheats and he spends all his time with the hookers he loves
Vitter is mean and he’s oh so obscene
Just like all those Republican men (ooh)

Just admit it David Vitter
You’re an offender all the time (you can’t get no worse)
Please just admit it David Vitter, your baby sitter
She dropped a dime

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Jingle Bells song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2MFducncsg

JINDAL-BELLS

(sung to the song of “Jingle Bells”)

Dashing through Naw’Leans
Sporting his brand new short pants
Taking in the scenes
While practicing a dance

Down in Baton Rouge
He’s a resident
But he can’t wait to move up north
And be the President

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

A month or two ago
While climbing in a tree
Bobby was surprised
By the G.O.P.

They said they needed him
And not that Sarah P.
To replenish all their hopes and dreams
As their next nominee

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

Bobby then replied (bobby then replied)
What about Romney? (what about romney)
He’s too on our side (he’s too on our side)
And much smarter than me (ha, ha, ha)

Then there’s Newt Gingrich (then there’s newt Gingrich)
And good old Huckabee (and good old Huckabee)
Let’s not forget that other bitch
The Texan, Kay Bailey

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out play-ing in the hay!

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 45

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Fright on The Right” features the multitude of violent conservative right-wing crazies that have telephoned or emailed threats of harm to Federal Judge, Susan Bolton as the result of her ruling to issue a preliminary injunction against most of the provisions of Arizona’s racist immigration law. The right is simply comprised of sore losers. Rather than accept the loss at the District Court level and move the case peacefully through the appellate process, the right wingers resort to what they do best: talk about armed insurrections and violence to peaceful individuals. How predictable.

THIS JUST IN: It was nice to see a Democrat call out the hypocritical Republicans on the House floor last week. Congressman Anthony Weiner of New York took to the House floor to denounce the GOP for using parliamentary tactics to try and prevent a fund for the health of 9/11 responders from being established. The G.O.P. will do anything to oppose Democrats, even if that means turning against the victims of the 9/11 tragedy. Let’s go to the film:

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Don’t Mess With The Blue Hairs” features Nevada’s Republican candidate for US Senate, the deranged Sharron Angle. Angle says, “We need to phase out Medicare and Social Security in favor of something privatized.” The Nevada chapter of the Alliance for Retired Americans, a national organization of retired union members says otherwise: “It’s a big concern for us. Seniors can’t afford Sharron Angle in the Senate, simple as that.” The message to Sharron Angle? Be careful because senior citizens in Nevada are many and they vote.

THIS JUST IN: Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska will become the first (and probably only) Democrat to vote against the nomination of Elena Kagan as Justice of the Supreme Court. Nelson says, “(I) have heard concerns from Nebraskans regarding Ms. Kagan, and her lack of a judicial record makes it difficult for me to discount the concerns raised by Nebraskans, or to reach a level of comfort that these concerns are unfounded.” Nelson didn’t however, outline what those worries were and Kagan is certain to win the seat. This is the same jerk that voted against the Health Care Reform Law. Nelson is also anti-choice and defends the Defense of Marriage Act. Why doesn’t he just end the charade and switch parties?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Don’t Make Me Laugh” features Republican US Senator from Louisiana, David “Diapers” Vitter. Notwithstanding his 2007 prostitute (and diaper wearing) scandal and a more recent controversy surrounding his retention of a top aide who attacked his girlfriend with a knife, Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) is seeking the endorsement of the Louisiana Sheriffs’ Association. Talk about the fox guarding the whorehouse, oops we meant henhouse!

THIS JUST IN: Republican Texas governor Rick Perry lives in an alternative universe where truth is fiction and fiction is fact. On a radio program this week, Perry proclaimed that Texas “has the best health care in the country.” However, the truth is that while Texas’ health care system might work well for those who can afford to use its “fabulous” facilities, the state also has the highest rate of uninsured residents of any state in the country. Nearly 26 percent of Texans lack coverage — the national average is just 15.4 percent — meaning there are more uninsured residents in Texas than there are people in 33 states. If Perry follows through on his threat to secede from the United States he will be vindicated because Texas will then have “the best health care in the nation of Texas”!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Take That!” features Shirley Sherrod who announced this week that she will file a defamation lawsuit against serial liar Andrew Breitbart for his publication of a doctored videotape of one of her speeches. Breitbart will soon learn how it feels to be on the defensive.

THIS JUST IN: Let’s end today’s post by watching President Barack Obama slap down The View‘s Elisabeth Hasselbeck with a fact-based, yet polite, retort to her question about job creation. The best part is when the audience shows its agreement with the President’s view by means of its loud applause. Please click on the link (Here) to see the video.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leSdvfYcDw0

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 43

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wondeful day.

BREAKING NEWS: Newly elected nudist Republican Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts has pissed-off Tea-Baggers and Republicans nationwide once again by breaking with the G.O.P.  and siding with Democrats by voting in favor of the Financial Reform Bill. The Obama administration can now claim another important legislative victory and this time it can boast of bi-partisan support. Maine’s Republican Senators, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins joined Brown in supporting the bill. Brown, Snowe and Collins defy their party and side with the Democrats so often on controversial legislation that it is only a matter of time before all three pull an Arlen Specter and switch parties.

THIS JUST IN: Senator David “Diapers” Vitter (R-LA) has stepped in it yet again. during an appearance on Rush Radio 99.5 in New Orleans Friday morning, During which the radio hosts joked about a high school photo of MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Vitter said that she only looked like a woman “a long time ago.” This childish remark follows almost immediately on the heels of Vitter’s statement last week which revealed him as a “Birther”. It was also revealed just a few weeks ago that after one of his staffers had pled guilty to attacking a woman with a knife, Vitter failed to terminate the staffer’s employment, and failed to even re-assign the man from his position as legislative assistant for women’s issues. Of course all of these blunders pale in comparison to the revelation a few years ago that Vitter solicited prostitutes while wearing baby diapers. In short, David Vitter is a train wreck.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s call A Spade A Spade” features Tea Party Express spokesman, Mark Williams. Williams was so upset at the NAACP’s call for the Tea Party to denounce racism amongst its members, that he penned a letter allegedly from NAACP president Benjamin Jealous to the late President Abraham Lincoln and posted it in his blog (it has now been removed). “Dear Mr. Lincoln,” the blog post read, “We [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People and we demand that it stop!” Williams made several modifications to his blog post after its initial posting, including removing references to bailouts as “big money welfare” that should handed “directly to us coloreds” and Tea Party demands for lower taxes preventing black Americans from getting “a wide-screen TV in every room.” So much for the Tea Party’s claim that it does not condone racism.

THIS JUST IN: I just received my invitation to the Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston wedding. The theme of the wedding is “Shotgun”. The ceremony will be performed at Our Lady of the Blessed Travesty Church in Wasilla, Alaska with the reception to follow at Mama Bear’s Buffet (BYOB).

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “What the Beck Is He Talking About?” features none other than Fox News joke Glenn Beck. In a stunning revelation of the fact that the Bible thumping alcoholic knows absolutely nothing about Christianity, Beck said this on his show last week,

This is kind of complex, because Jesus did identify with the victims. But Jesus was not a victim. He was a conqueror…Jesus conquered death. He wasn’t victimized. He chose to give his life….If he was a victim, and this theology was true, then Jesus would’ve come back from the dead and made the Jews pay for what they did. That’s an abomination.

Would someone please remind the chancellor of Glenn Beck University that the Romans crucified Jesus and not the Jews.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

Nita Dunn took him down
And Glenn’s face grew bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

David “Diapers” Vitter Catches The Conspiracy Coach

Senator David Vitter (R) Lousiana has become another gift that keeps on giving. Just a few years ago the philandering “family values” Republican was revealed to be a repeat customer of a prostitution ring. To add insult to injury, his favorite hooker also revealed that the big baby liked to don diapers during his sessions. You would think that a revelation such as that would have caused the G.O.P. leadership to call for his resignation but such was not the case. You see, the Governor of Louisiana was a Democrat and under state law she would have been allowed to appoint Vitter’s replacement. Hence the “do as we say, not as we do” Republicans turned a blind eye to Diaper Dave’s transgressions.

Then, just a few weeks ago it was revealed that one of his staffers had pled guilty to attacking a woman with a knife. Not only did Vitter fail to terminate the staffer’s employment, he also failed to even re-assign the man from his position as legislative assistant for women’s issues.

Now we have the third strike against Diaper Man. CNN reports that Mr. Huggies has recently made statements in which he shows support for the oft discredited “Birther” conspiricists. Before a group of Louisiana voters on Sunday, Vitter said of the issue as to whether President Barack Obama was born in the United States,

I personally don’t have standing to bring litigation in court, but I support conservative legal organizations and others who would bring that to court. I think that is the valid and most possibly effective grounds to do it. I know all the information I’ve been able to get my hands on through the media…But obviously with the mainstream media as a filter, that’s not a whole lot.

Wow, is this guy personally trying to sabotage his own re-election chances? If the voters of Louisiana return this imbecile to Washington, they deserve to be the subjects of all of the uneducated red-neck associations that they are sometimes victimized by.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Walk Like An Egyptian song link: http://www.clipshack.com/Clip.aspx?key=65143F523EF415C0

WALK WITH AN ERECTION

(sung to the Bangles song “Walk Like An Egyptian”)

All the G.O.P.s in bedrooms
They do the sex dance with their hoes
They’re getting their kicks (oh whey oh)
They think that their wives will never know

There sat Larry Craig with a smile
Hoping to score a tete-a-tete
He set for awhile (oh whey oh)
On the airport Men’s Room toilet

Cleans his pipe with a Handy Wipe play
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

Mark Sanford goes missing for days
In South America for a score
He’s got the moves (oh whey oh)
But he’s a fink and his gal’s a whore

John Ensign met his while at work
Along with her son and her husband
He paid them like kings (oh whey oh)
No talking of his erection

All the guys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

(musical interlude)

Newt Gingrich left his wife with no tact
In the cancer ward on her back
Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)
He even took her new Cadillac

Mark Vitter pulled out all the stops
His escorts charged him the very tops
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)
Spent his way right into hawk

Then there’s Mark Foley with his men
He says he won’t do it again
But those heinies know (oh whey oh)
He works with a big erection

All the boys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection
Walk with an erection

David Vitter Hustles His Diapers To Gulf Coast

As most of you readers know, I like to analyze a current political issue and make a cogent point with a dash of humor or sarcasm. Sometimes this proves to be difficult either because I am not in a particularly humorous mood or the political issue of the day does not lend itself to laughter (i.e. the BP oil spill). On other occasions however, the blog posts simply write themselves because of the involvement of unique political persons or issues of the day. Today’s post is an example of the latter.

Anytime that I can write about Louisiana’s prostitute soliciting, diaper wearing Republican Senator, David Vitter, Hustler Magazine owner Larry Flynt and the BP oil spill all it once, it is a good day for Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. Today is one of those days.

Hustler Magazine publisher, Larry Flynt, in a letter to Republican Senator David Vitter today, urged the Louisiana lawmaker to personally contribute “diapers and other personal items” in an effort to control the costly effects of the eleven week old British Petroleum oil disaster. Buzzflash.com reports, “Three years ago, Flynt and his team of investigators assisted in exposing Senator Vitter’s extracurricular activities with female prostitutes. Others have reported on the Senator’s penchant for diapers during his transgressions.  Vitter later apologized for his “very serious sin” after documents released by the D.C. Madam, Deborah Jane Palfrey, revealed that he had patronized her high-end, fantasy escort service.”

Here is the letter itself…

Senator David Vitter

516 Hart Senate Building

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Vitter:

Forgive me for intruding on your valuable time.  I know you are a very busy man, especially in regards to the current problems in the Gulf of Mexico. But that’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. I concur that everybody must do their part to solve this serious catastrophe.  And that’s where I think you, in particular, can be of so much help.

As I understand it, you have some expertise regarding diapers.  I have no idea how many diapers you actually have on hand (quite a collection from what I hear) but as you know, diapers are quite absorbent. So, when it comes to blocking the oil that’s gushing into the Gulf, they might be a very effective way of solving that problem. With that in mind, I urge you to donate your extensive diaper collection to BP so they can use them to stop the leak by creating, for want of a better term, a giant “plug.”

It could be a historic moment: An ecological disaster thwarted. And you’ll get the credit for it.  In fact, when people hear the word “diaper” they will automatically think of you. Hell, they already do.

Please don’t piss away this golden opportunity.

Sincerely,
Larry Flynt
Publisher
Hustler

Lynnrockets would like to wish all of you a happy and safe July 4th weekend. Please remember what I said in my last post and make sure that you find a way to express your love to family and friends.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

VITTER

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Vitter, meet Dave Vitter
He’s the diaper wearing Senator
From Louisiana
Where he purchases those kinky whores.

On his faithful wife he chose to cheat
Now he’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re David Vitter
Buying hookers on the state dime
It’s big mistake time
It was a vice squad crime

Vitter, David Vitter
Of the “Family Values” G.O.P.
Unlike Johnny Bobbitt
He escaped and kept his prized pee-pee

On his faithful wife he chose to cheat
Now he’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re David Vitter
You’re just wallowing in your slime
Endorsing sex crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time