Category Archives: Michele Bachmann

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead !

And then there were five.

There is a little more room in the clown car known as the Republican field of Presidential wannabes today. Yesterday moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann quit the race after garnering only 5% of the vote in the Iowa caucuses. She joins other Bozos such as Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Chris Christie and Herman Cain to exclude themselves from the race. The only difference between Bachmann and the others however, is that Bachmann was the only certifiably insane person to actually make it to an election. The craziest banana in that bunch of course was Sarah Palin but she never entered the race. The next wackiest contestant as measured by the Koo-Koo Counter was Donald Trump but he too shied away from the race. Herman Cain of course, was called away by his girlfriends.

But back to Bachmann. She called a hasty press conference in Iowa yesterday and in the biggest understatement of the GOP primary season to date said, “Last night the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice and so I have decided to stand aside.” Gee, do ya think? Despite having been a native Iowan, Bachmann garnered about as much Hawkey respect as fellow Waterloo native, serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

Let’s not mince words, Michele Bachmann has been an irresponsible liar and historically ignorant politician for some time now. She has made a number of  outrageous and/or completely discredited factual statements as illustrated by the following gems compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann has said some darned crazy stuff. Indeed, she can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. The Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wanted to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history.

Ahhh Michele Bachmann we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Staffers Fleeing The Sinking S.S. Bachmann

Seperated at birth

Many have speculated that Republicans in Congress have planned to do what they they can to prevent the economy from improving at least until the 2012 elections. The theory is, that if the economy fails to significantly improve, the GOP can blame President Obama and Congressional Democrats and convince voters to support Republicans in November 2012. This plot was evident back in November 2010 when Republican Senate leader Mitch McConnell unabashedly admitted that, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” The GOP plan was further revealed in the very basic fact that the Republican majority House of Representatives has failed to pass a single jobs bill since taking control of that chamber in 2010. It is clear that Republicans do not care about helping the economy and the 99% of American citizens who are suffering. They care only about themselves and the next election.

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann is no different. In fact, she has gone one step further and personally contributed to the nation’s unemployment problem. Bachmann has reportedly failed to pay her New Hampshire staff members for over a month, thereby causing them to quit en masse last Friday. Consequently, there are now five more people on the unemployment rolls.

Bachmann appeared dumbfounded when asked the defections. On Friday, she appeared on an Iowa radio station and said, “This is a shocking story to me, I don’t know where that came from. We have called staff in New Hampshire to find out where that came from and the staff have said that isn’t true, so I don’t know if this is just a bad story that’s being fed by a different candidate or campaign. I have no idea where this came from, but we’ve made calls and it’s certainly not true.”

Apparently Bachmann made calls to the wrong people because it is true that her staff has quit. This should not have come as a surprise to the moonbat-crazy Bachmann inasmuch as she has already suffered a string of defections since she declared her candidacy. She previously lost campaign manager Ed Rollins, deputy manager David Polyansky, pollster Ed Goeas, adviser Andy Parish and spokesperson Doug Sachtleben. Indeed, Bachmann has proven that she is surely not one of those GOP-heralded “job creators” who they are always defending.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bette Davis Eyes” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifDycyRNpcI

MICHELE BACHMANN EYES

 (sung to the Kim Carnes song “Bette Davis Eyes”)

Her hair is wild and bold
Her breath smells like fries
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s a Tea Party pawn
And she never thinks twice
She’s running out of dough
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’s out there all alone
Confused and so uptight
Don’t listen to her drone
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s made a fumble or two
Misspoken more than twice
Staffers quit on her too
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll tease you
She’ll unease you
Just to squeeze you
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’ll confuse you
And she’ll lose you
(fade to end)

Bachmann Bagged By Blunder (Again!)

The fiction-machine known as Michele Bachmann was caught once again providing misinformation at a campaign rally. At a speech in Sioux City, Iowa on Monday, CNN reports that while answering a question from a member of the audience regarding the proposed oil pipeline between Canada and Texas, Bachmann said,

“I was talking with a businessman this morning up in Minneapolis. And he was up in Williston, North Dakota, where the Bakken oil field is producing. Someone told me that last year that North Dakota was the only nation that actually was running a surplus. And it’s because they’re utilizing their natural energy resources.”

First of all, North Dakota is not a “nation” but that mistake is excusable as a mere slip of the tongue. More importantly however, Bachmann misinformed the audience that North Dakota is “the only [state] that actually was running a surplus”. She was wrong as usual. In fact, Montana, Alaska and Arkansas are also running budget surpluses in 2011. That fact could have been easily verified by Bachmann because it was not a spur of the moment assertion. Bachmann said that she was repeating what someone had told her. She obviously took note and memorized what this person told her, but she failed to verify its veracity before simply parroting the misinformation to an audience.

This is very similar to what Bachmann did a few weeks ago when she asserted as fact, the later-discredited theory that the HPV vaccine can cause mental retardation. Bachmann claimed at the time that she was provided the inaccurate information by a person she had spoken with. The problem however, is not that Bachmann was provided incorrect information by a complete stranger, but rather that she chose to broadcast that information as fact without first verifying its truthfulness.

The moonbat-crazy Bachmann certainly has no need to get her misinformation from strangers. She has made a number of  outrageous and/or completely discredited factual statements on her own such as the following gems as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann says some darned crazy stuff. Indeed, she can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. The Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wants to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history.

There is no doubt that Michele “Make It Up As You Go Along” Bachmann is the most laughingly entertaining nut in the bag of mixed nuts that is the current field of Republican Presidential candidates. Too bad she has no chance of winning.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Rick Perry Joins The Ranks Of The American History-Challenged GOP

Three Blind Mice

This week while on the campaign stump, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry made a fool of himself while attempting to teach his supporters a little bit about American history. He is not the only Republican Presidential candidate or psuedo-Presidential candidate to do this in recent months.

Last March while campaigning in Manchester, New Hampshire, moonbat-crazy Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann revealed a major gap in her grasp of the history of the American Revolutionary War. She confused her supporters be declaring, “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history.’’

The echo of the “shot heard ’round the world” may have been heard in New Hampshire, but it was, of course, actually fired in Massachusetts as most every school child knows. Bachmann also infamously and incorrectly claimed that our nation’s Founding Fathers fought “tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Of course the reality is that many of the Founding Fathers were actually slave owners and they were long dead by the time slavery was abolished in 1865.

Next we had the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska, Sarah Palin reveal her complete misunderstanding of Paul Revere’s storied “Midnight Ride”. While visiting Boston, Massachusetts on her SaraPAC-funded nationwide family vacation/campaign tour last summer, Palin described to a reporter her understanding of Paul Revere’s ride as follows: “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his  horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Of course, the actual purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”. But hey, this was Sarah Palin talking and nobody ever really expects her to have any idea of what she is talking about.

This leads us directly to Rick Perry. This week he stood on the podium in front of supporters in his home state of Texas and misinformed them about the Boston Tea Party and 1770s colonial Boston by saying,

“There was a time in our nation’s history when people like you — patriots — they had to disguise themselves and sneak around in Boston, if you will, cities up in the Northeast, in the dark. They risked their lives in order to send a message about unfair taxation.”

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, let’s watch Perry in action:

Of course what Perry said is completely false as Matthew Yglesias at ThinkProgress.com points out as follows:

“Contrary to Perry’s assertion, nobody was ‘afraid to walk around in public’ in colonial Boston out of ‘fear that they’d be persecuted’ for objecting to high taxes. What actually happened was that ‘disguised men and others then went on board the tea-ships moored at Griffin’s Wharf, and in the course of three hours they emptied three hundred and forty-two chests of tea into the water of the harbor.’ Apparently not all the tea partiers actually did wear disguises at all, but clearly the point of wearing disguises wasn’t generalized fear of public expression of dissent but specific fear that acts of vandalism were illegal. For all that’s changed in the subsequent 230 years, this aspect of American life is basically the same. People who want to protest peacefully do so freely, people who want to destroy other people’s property are more likely to wear masks.”

Certainly, nobody in his Texas audience had any idea that what Rick Perry said was completely untrue. Such is probably a result of the fact that Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worst state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. Perry can also be excused for his ignorance because he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps a new movie starring Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry should be produced. It could be a comedy about recreating American history to fit the confused Teapublican mindset. It could be titled, “Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer“.

Read my lips, “NO NEW TEXANS!”

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

Leno Gets Serious, Quizzes Bachmann And She Fails

Bachmann puts her ? in her mouth on "The Tonight Show"

Moonbat-crazy Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann appeared last night on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno”. She was surprised (and perturbed) that she did not receive the usual lighthearted treatment and softball questions from the host. It made for some interesting television.

CNN summarized the interview pretty well. They report that Leno opened up the show in jovial manner. He welcomed the wacky Teapublican by saying, “We’ve done a million jokes. Hopefully, you haven’t been … watching any of them.” Thereafter however, he abruptly began some pointed questioning of the startled guest.

First, he addressed the HPV topic which had been in the news since last week’s CNN/Tea Party Republican debate. You will recall that during the debate, Bachmann accused candidate Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry of implementing a law that all Texas teenage girls receive a potentially dangerous vaccination against the sexually transmitted HPV ( a virus which can lead to cancer). She not only falsely claimed during the debate  that the vaccination was mandatory, but she also also falsely claimed in an interview immediately thereafter that the vaccination has caused “mental retardation” in at least one young girl (Just wondering, but will the mention of the word “retardation” bring a rebuke from Sarah Palin?).

Bachmann told Leno last night that the vaccination also “gives a false sense of assurance to a young woman when she hears that if she’s sexually active that she doesn’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases.” Leno disagreed. He responded, “Well, I don’t know if it gives assurance. It can prevent cervical cancer; correct?” Bachmann remained silent. Leno then questioned Bachmann’s “mental retardation” side effect claim. He pointed out that there have been no recorded cases of such side effects despite 30 million people receiving the shot. Bachmann’s clumsy response? “I wasn’t speaking as a doctor. I wasn’t speaking as a scientist. I was just relating what this woman said.” So we can now conclude that Bachmann will simply parrot as fact any unconfirmed statement that she hears while campaigning. How’s that for “truthiness”?

Leno then moved on to the subject of homosexuality and gay marriage. Bachmann has been a staunch opponent of gay marriage rights and her husband’s Christian counseling clinic has been revealed as utilizing a method known as “pray the gay away”. Leno said “That whole ‘pray the gay away’ thing, What? I don’t get that.” Bachmann held firm. She repeated that gays should not have the right to marry and she defended her husband’s clinic by saying confusingly that it does not discriminate. Leno then asked Bachmann who she might choose as a running mate if she were to win the Republican nomination. He suggested she might want someone with more moderate views. Bachmann responded by saying, “Well, you’re taken. You don’t want a cut in pay, so what can I say?” Leno’s return volley was “Well, we’d probably have an argument over that gay thing.”

Take that, Michele Bachmann and your Tea Party followers!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnluciYGFXg

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “U”, Say “B” Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

The Ever- Revolving Door At Chez Bachmann

First of all, I hope all of you fellow Rocketeers had a happy and healthy Labor Day. As the summer begins its slow march into autumn, here’s hoping that all of you enjoy the passing of the seasons as much as I do. There is  nothing more beautiful than the fall foliage season here in New England especially when it is accompanied by the sweet smells of burning leaves, hot spiced apple cider and the clean crispness of the air. It doesn’t hurt that football returns each Saturday and Sunday either. By the way, I’ll post the roster of my fantasy football team at the end of this column.

As the seasons change, so does the staff of the Michele Bachmann campaign. That revolving door of staffers just keeps on spinning and spinning. As of July 2010, moonbat-crazy Bachmann had already had no less than five chiefs of staff quit her congressional office. By that time she had also had her finance director quit. Then in February 2011 her spokesman and a district director quit on her.

Now we have learned today that Bachmann’s  highly touted campaign manager, Ed Rollins has quit. CNN also reports that her deputy campaign manager, David Polyansky quit last weekend. Rollins went so far as to say that Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s entry into the Presidential race has dealt a serious blow to Michele Bachmann,

“Legitimately, it’s a Romney-Perry race,” Rollins said. “I think she’s the third candidate at this point in time…”

It is becoming increasingly obvious that Michele Bachmann does not “work and play well with others”. She cannot maintain a staff. Her fellow Republican Representatives of the House believe that she hurts the party by refusing to be a team member. Even her much ballyhooed Tea Party Caucus has very few members and has seldom convened for a meeting.

It would appear that even those who are closest to Michele Bachmann eventually realize that she is essentially a crazy psychotic that should not be allowed anywhere near the White House. Is that the proverbial “Fat Lady” who I can hear singing in the background?

That’s all for Bachmann, so here is my fantasy football league team lineup for 2011

PUNCH THE CLOWN

QB:  Aaron Rodgers

QB:  Donovan McNabb

RB:  Maurice Jones-Drew

RB:  Peyton Hillis

RB:  Ahmad Bradshaw

RB:  Pierre Thomas

RB:  James Starks

WR:  Jeremy Maclin

WR:  Danny Amendola

WR:  Donald Driver

WR:  Sidney Rice

WR:  Lance Moore

TE:  Kellen Winslow, Jr.

TE:  Chris Cooley

K:   Matt Bryant

K:   Billy Cundiff

Def:  Giants

Def:  Cardinals

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann Tries To “Pray The Gay Questions Away”

For any of you loyal Rocketeers who did not happen to see “Meet The Press” yesterday, you are in for a special treat here at the Blast-Off today!

For one of the very few times since he has taken over the program following the untimely death of Tim Russert, David Gregory actually held a guest’s feet to the fire during an interview. Yesterday’s guest was Republican Presidential candidate and Tea Party favorite Michele Bachmann fresh-off her Ames (Iowa) Straw Poll victory. For the first several minutes, Gregory was his usual self in that he asked questions which Bachmann ducked and he did not thoroughly follow-up thereafter.

To be fair, Gregory did push back a little bit when Bachmann claimed that she was, what Republicans like to refer to as a “job creator”. He asked her to explain that assertion. Bachmann then said that she was an attorney at the IRS. Gregory quickly shot back that her position was not one which created jobs and that in fact, her particular job was one which was created by the federal government. Point-Gregory.

Gregory truly hit his stride however, when he questioned Bachmann about her own statements regarding gays. Rather than try to recreate the magic in print, let’s watch the actual interview:

Ouch! That is going to leave a mark, especially with gay and socially moderate voters throughout America. Not only did Michele Bachmann say that gays are “part of Satan”, but she made it clear that she would not appoint gays to any important positions within her administration or to judgeships if she were to be elected President. How do we know this? Because she said that any potential appointees must share her views. Since it is a certainty that no gays will share her view that they are “part of Satan”, it is also a certainty that none will be appointed to those positions.

Will Michele Bachmann dare to appear on “Meet The Press” again any time soon? Don’t count on it.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

A Few Tasty Tid-Bits On Which To Chew

While awaiting the outcome of the House Republicans’ internal civil war (Tea Baggers v. Entrenched Incumbents) to see if they can pass a debt ceiling bill which is nevertheless doomed to failure in the Senate, let’s take a look at what else is going on in the world of politics and punditry.

REPUBLICAN INFIGHTING CONTINUES:  Republican Sen. John McCain on Wednesday said ultimatums issued by many in his conference, like insisting on a balanced budget amendment to the constitution that he said will not become law, are “worse than foolish.” Today, freshman Tea Party backed Rep. Joe Walsh (you know, the fiscal conservative who is so conservative that he fails to pay his own child support) said, “Folks like Sen. John McCain have been in this town for too long and they’re the ones who have gotten us into this mess year after year after year. Folks like him … have no clue as to the troubles Americans are going through right now. They don’t understand this crisis anymore.” It is so satisfying watching Republicans eat their own.

MICHELE BACHMANN CONTINUES TO BURY HER HEAD IN THE SAND:  Despite the fact that every economic expert and financial adviser warns that a failure to raise the debt ceiling will have disastrous effects on the US economy including a devaluation of the dollar, rising interest rates, an increasing national debt caused by higher interest rates and a loss of faith from other nations, Michele Bachmann continues to insist that there is no problem. Today she said, “I do not believe for one moment that we will lose the full faith and credit of the United States.” She also said she plans to vote against the latest proposal from House Speaker John Boehner that would raise the debt limit and reduce the deficit. Is anyone surprised, after all Bachmann also denies the theory of evolution.

TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY DECLARES THAT HE WILL NOT MARRY A MAN:  In an interview today with Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, the potential GOP presidential candidate said, “gay marriage is not fine with me.” OK Rick, so don’t marry a man. Does that work for you?

NEWT GINGRICH’S CAMPAIGN SUFFERS ANOTHER BLOW:  First it was Tiffany-Gate when the nation learned that the self-described frugal fiscal conservative had run up a line of credit approaching a million dollars at the posh jewelry store. Next, virtually every one of his important campaign staff abruptly quit on him. Then we learned that his presidential campaign is over $1 million in debt. And today it was revealed that the man who proclaims that he will bring manufacturing jobs back to the United States has his “Newt 2012″ t-shirts manufactured in El Salvador. Ouch! Stick a fork in Gingrich cuz he’s done.


CAPITOL HILL TEA PARTY RALLY IS A FLOP: 
Tea Party Express and the American Grassroots Coalition staged a really, really big Tea Party rally on Capitol Holl this week featuring such Teapublican heroes as Presidential candidate Herman Cain, conservative Sens. Jim DeMint of South Carolina, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Mike Lee of Utah. It has been reported by Politico.com however, that virtually no Tea Baggers bothered to show up. “At the start of the rally… there were roughly 15 attendees waiting to hear the conservative lawmakers speak. By the time the senators had spoken there were still fewer than 50 tea partiers in attendance. You will also recall that the annual Tea Party Convention was also recently cancelled for lack of interest. Looks like the Tea Party’s 15 minutes are officially over.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Fox Favorites Bachmann and Paul Duck Debt Ceiling Crisis

Dr. No and the Gay-Basher

How many times have Republican politicians and conservative pundits criticized President Barack Obama for going on official business trips when they claim he should be back at home addressing the problems in Washington DC? Despite the fact that Obama and George W. Bush have made virtually the same number of overseas trips during the same amount of days that they have occupied the Oval Office, the right criticizes Obama while they were silent about Bush.

Whenever Obama takes a vacation, he is maligned by the right for shirking his duty. Fox News’ Monica Crowley has gone so far as to say,

“He’s actually shoehorning the job of the presidency into his busy schedule of going on vacation, listening to the comic stylings of George Lopez, swaying to Paul McCartney, playing golf, shooting hoops, taking smokes. What else is this guy doing? Is he ever working? Obama is taking a vacation every five minutes. He’s blowing off steam almost every day….he is got partying going on. He’s at the Nationals game.”

The facts however, prove that Fox News is lying. In fact, Politicususa.com has shown that George W. Bush “spent 1,020 days of his presidency on vacation. To put this into context, John F. Kennedy spent fewer days in office, 1000, than George W. Bush spent on vacation. Bush spent 487 days at Camp David, 490 days at his Crawford ranch, and 43 days in Kennebunkport. George W. Bush spent 69 days in Crawford during his first year in office. In contrast, according to FactCheck.org, Obama spent all, or part of, 26 days of his first year in office on vacation. This was less than all three previous Republican presidents, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, and George W. Bush.” Anyone surprised that Fox News would misinform its audience?

Today we have learned that President Barack Obama has cancelled all of his scheduled fundraising appearances so that he may devote himself to the debt ceiling crisis and negotiations. Meanwhile, fierce Obama critics, moonbat-crazy Rep. Michele Bachmann and Rep. Ron “Dr. No” Paul will be attending fundraising trips for their presidential campaigns in Iowa. So, while the President of the United States has elected to address the nation’s most pressing issue, two of his wannabe Republican presidential opponents are shirking their duties as members of the nation’s House of Representatives so as to further than own political careers. How is that for patriotism?

Will Rush “Drug Addict” Limbaugh, Glenn “Rodeo Clown” Beck, Ann “The Man” Coulter or anyone on the Fox Misinformation Network even make mention of the fact that Bachmann and Paul have fled Washington during debt ceiling negotiations? Lynnrockets is willing to wager a lobster dinner that not one of them utters a peep on the subject. Any takers?

While we await a response to that offer, shall we entertain ourselves with a Blackjack hand’s worth of the many examples of misinformation proffered by Fox News as confirmed by PolitiFact.com and reported by Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show”:

  1. Fox said less than 10% of Obama’s Cabinet appointees have worked in the private sector. – False
  2. Fox said, White House Political Director served as right-hand man to the ACORN chief – False
  3. Fox said Texas Board of Education may eliminate  references to Christmas and the Constitution from textbooks – False
  4. Fox said Health Care Reform is a govt. takeover of health care – False and the PolitiFact 2010 “Lie of the Year”
  5. Fox said the Muslim Brotherhood has openly stated that they want to  declare  war on Israel – False
  6. Fox said American troops have never been under the formal control of another nation – False
  7. Fox said Gov. Rick Scott’s approval ratings have climbed since election – False
  8. Fox said Massachusetts’ health care plan is wildly unpopular among state residents – False
  9. Fox said there’s been more debt under Obama than all other presidents combined – False
  10. Fox said Health care bill includes death panels – False and the PolitiFact  2009 “Lie of the Year”
  11. Fox said  “Cash For Clunkers” will give govt. complete access to your home computer – False
  12. Fox said halting Gulf drilling costs $8 Billion a day in imports – False
  13. Fox said Democrats plan largest tax increase in history – False
  14. Fox said Eric holder was involved in the dismissal of criminal charges against New Black panthers – False
  15. Fox said Obama voted “present” in the U.S. Senate quite often – False
  16. Fox said John Holdren proposed forced abortions and putting sterilants in drinking water – False
  17. Fox said labor union president Andy Stern is most frequent visitor at white house – False
  18. Fox said America is the only country with automatic citizenship upon birth – False
  19. Fox said O’Reilly never called George tiller a baby killer only reporting what others called him – False
  20. Fox said only fox news picked up that Anita Dunn said mao was one of her favorite philosophers – False and
  21. Fox said nobody at Fox news ever said you’re going to jail if you don’t buy health insurance – False

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Sunday Afternoon Coffee (or Tea) – 86

Sorry about the late post but these beach days are cutting into Lynnrockets’ productivity!

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: The first recall election was held in Wisconsin last week and incumbent Democratic State Senator Dave Hansen defeated his Republican challenger in a landslide in which the Democrat took more than 65% of the vote. The recall elections were spurred by a voter backlash to the union-busting efforts of newly elected Republicans. With only 3 more victories the Democrats will recapture control of the state senate. Let the Wisconsin recall elections continue!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “This Week In History” features the fact that it was nearly 10 years ago that the United States began borrowing billions of dollars to pay for the bush tax cuts. http://thinkprogress.org/special/2011/07/20/273795/ten-years-ago-bush-tax-cuts/

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time some crazy Republican Tea Party conservative like Michele Bachmann or Ron Paul tells you that not raising the debt ceiling will not threaten those on Social Security, show them this quote from Ronald Reagan:

“Congress consistently brings the Government to the edge of default before facing its responsibility. This brinkmanship threatens the holders of government bonds and those who rely on Social Security and veterans benefits. Interest rates would skyrocket, instability would occur in financial markets, and the Federal deficit would soar. The United States has a special responsibility to itself and the world to meet its obligations. It means we have a well-earned reputation for reliability and credibility – two things that set us apart from much of the world.”

Was Reagan lying too?

THIS JUST IN:  Quote of the Week from William Rivers Pitt, “I love the smell of Murdoch in the morning!”

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “How’s This For A Surprise?…Not!” features Alabama’s Republican and very anti-homosexual Attorney General Troy King. Wonkette reports that Troy (who advocates outlawing homosexuality and sex toys) “has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed…His gay lover is either a college “buddy,” or a very young youngster and “Homecoming King” from Troy University. What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy University?” You just can’t make this stuff up.

THIS JUST IN: 2nd Best Quote of the Week from Larry Summers while President of Harvard University on a visit from the Winklevoss twins (who wanted his help in getting a piece of the Facebook action from Zuckerberg), “One of the things you learn as a college president is that if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o’clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they’re looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an a**hole. This was the latter case.”

BREAKING NEWS:  “A new filing in the King Lincoln Bronzeville v. Blackwell case includes a copy of the Ohio Secretary of State election production system configuration that was in use in Ohio’s 2004 presidential election when there was a sudden and unexpected shift in votes for George W. Bush.” Benzinga.com reports thatSmarTech, a private company (with extensive ties to the Republican Party, Karl Rove and the Republican agenda), had the ability in the 2004 election to add or subtract votes without anyone knowing they did so. The the combination of computer hacking, ballot destruction, and the discrepancy between exit polling (which showed a big Kerry win in Ohio) and the “real” vote tabulation, all point to one answer: the Republicans stole the 2004 election. Anybody surprised?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter –  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

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