Category Archives: Katie Couric

Sarah Palin Agrees To Interview With Lamestream Media (sort of)

Day by day it becomes more evident that Sarah Palin will run for President of the United States in 2012. She has admitted that she is considering such a campaign but sometimes actions speak louder than words. This is especially true in reference to Palin who lies so frequently that her words have no credibility. She is however, acting like someone poised to run. Consider that she made sure that early caucus state Iowa was on her recent book signing for profit tour. How about her recent trip to Haiti in an attempt to enhance her foreign policy bona fides? And now we learn that she will give an interview to the hated “lamestream media”.

Yes, you read that correctly. Sarah Palin will be interviewed on “Good Morning America” this Friday by Robin Roberts. You knew that Palin would never agree to be questioned by co-anchor George Stephanopoulos. You might be wondering if this is the first such interview by Palin with a traditional television network since her disastrous and hilarious encounters with Charles Gibson and Katie Couric back in 2008. The answer is a resounding, “Yes”. Truth be told, Palin did appear with Barbara Walters on her “Most Fascinating” special and she also sat with Oprah, but those were mere fluff pieces with no hard-hitting questions. Now, “Good Morning America” is certainly no “Meet The Press” or “Face The Nation”, but it at least has the potential to stump Palin with a few unexpected questions unlike her staged Fox News appearances.

On its website, ABC says that, “Roberts will spend a day-in-the-life with the former governor and mother of five at her home in Wasilla”.  The network also says, “In a wide-ranging interview, Roberts will talk to Palin about her new book “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag,” plus all the major political news of the day, from taxes to health care to foreign policy.” Let’s see just how in depth the questions on taxes, health care and foreign policy will be and whether there will be any serious follow-up questions to Palin’s sure-to-be unintelligible answers.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season song parody which was requested by a loyal Rocketeer.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU

RUDOLPH’S BEEN GUNNED DOWN BY SARAH PALIN

(sung to the Christmas song “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

She was drunk on brandy-eggnogs
Like Rudolph’s nose, she did glow
Mixing booze with her medication
So like a dead fish “she went with the flow”

She went out that chilly morning
With her gun strapped to her back
Bullets as lethal as warheads
All the best equipment bought by SarahPAC

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Tea-Baggers are so proud of Sarah
Santa Claus can go to hell
With her they are having a ball
Making signs and shouting words that they can’t spell

Palin is one bad-ass grandma
A big fence surrounds her shack
And with Todd the dumb Boy-Wonder
They will fight-off “lamestram media” attacks

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

On her show which airs on cable
Also on her Fox News gig
Sarah sports those trashy sandals
Just like putting bright red “lipstick on a pig”

Sarah lacks both friends and neighbors
She scares them with bullet shells
And she hunts without a license
Sarah Palin will do anything that sells

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

(sing it Sarah!)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Sarah Palin Is Not Tina’s Fey(vorite) Person

America as a nation owes a substantial debt of gratitude to Tina Fey. This wonderful woman did more to reveal the ridiculousness of Sarah Palin during the 2008 Presidential election campaign than did any single member of the “lamestream” media. OK, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric also did their part. Nevertheless, it was Tina Fey who made it all so humorously memorable. Who will ever forget when she gave a spot-on Palin impersonation and said, “I can see Alaska from my house” or “Katie, I’d like to use one of my lifelines, I’d like to phone a friend”?

How about when she simply parroted the near exact words of Sarah Palin giving an answer during the Katie Couric interview on the subject of the bank bailout which Palin was in favor of before she was against it? If you do not remember that, do not worry. Here it is the original and the Tina Fey version for your viewing pleasure. (For the second video you will be prompted to click on the YouTube link.)

Thanks for the memories, Tina.

Well, lucky for us, Tina Fey is not quite done ribbing Palin. Fey was awarded the 2010 Mark Twain Prize for Humor a few weeks ago and she went at Sarah Palin yet again. Upon accepting the award, she said the following:

I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight. My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me. And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women – except, of course –those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years – whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know – actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.

You just have to love Tina Fey. Brava!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 60

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Senate Democrats are confident they have at least 60 votes for a Defense Department authorization measure that includes a repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) has threatened to filibuster the policy, which bans openly gay people from serving in the military, but his threat is toothless if more than 60 votes are in favor of the repeal. John McCain’s staunch defense of the discriminating policy has assured that he will be remembered throughout history like George Wallace when he was the final defender of racial segregation. A bigoted dinosaur.

THIS JUST IN: After meeting with President Barack Obama Thursday, Democratic leaders in Congress said they plan to hold a series of politically charged votes to extend middle-class tax cuts while letting tax cuts for the wealthy expire. The Democrats are finally showing that they do,in fact, have a backbone. Such a vote will force Republicans to vote against a middle class tax cut which will prove to the nation that they care more for the wealthy than the working class.

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of  Republican lack of concern for the working class took place Thursday when the G.O.P. blocked an effort to maintain federal unemployment insurance (UI) benefits, making a lapse in benefits all but certain when they expire at the end of the month. Consequently, on November 30th 800,000 people unable to  find work in an economy with five job hunters for every one job will lose this critical help that keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table. By the end of the year, 2 million jobless will be without help and another 1 million a month will lose their benefits beginning next year.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Telling The Truth Only When Out Of Office” features recently defeated Rep. Bob Inglis of South Carolina. Inglis is now blasting the GOP for using “racism” to whip voters into a frenzy, for “following those personalities [such as Fox News host Glenn Beck] and not leading,” and for deceiving voters with conspiracy theories about death panels and “preying on their fears.” At a House subcommittee hearing on climate change this Thursday, Inglis mocked his Republican colleagues for refusing to acknowledge the truth and danger of global warming, saying, “They slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night, and they’re experts on climate change. They substitute their judgment for people who have Ph.D.s and work tirelessly [on climate change].” Watch this:

BREAKING NEWS: We posted this clip earlier in the week, but anytime that a Fox News host describes Sarah Palin as “self defecating” is worth repeating. Please enjoy Gretchen Carlson accidentally speaking the truth.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is calling for the waterboarding of a blogger that leaked excerpts of her yet to be released book. Yes, “waterboarding”. Palin authored the following Twitter tweet and then quickly removed it (but not before it was captured here). Imagine how the trigger-happy Palin would overreact with that little red button if she were ever Commander in Chief!

BREAKING NEWS: As long as we are on the subject of Sarah Palin, this week’s episode of “Hypocrite Of The Week” features you know who. This week Palin criticized Republican Rep. Spencer Bachus of Alabama, saying that because Bachus supported “the Bachus bigger government agenda,” it was “no wonder he’s not thrilled with people like me.” She cited Bachus’ votes for the Wall Street bailout and the cash-for-clunkers program as proof he was no “commonsense conservative.” However, in the two years since Palin was the Republican vice presidential candidate, the former Alaska governor has pulled a 180 regarding her position on the Wall Street bailout enacted by President George W. Bush. In the midst of the 2008 financial crisis, Palin held that now infamous interview with CBS News‘ Katie Couric, and she endorsed the bailout. The exchange was odd because Palin provided a confusing reply, inexplicably tying the bank bailout to health care reform, but it was clear she favored the bailout (as did Sen. John McCain). Shall we watch it and laugh?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Bush-Whacked” co-stars former First lady Barbara Bush and Sarah Palin. The former appeared on Larry King’s television program this week and said of the latter, “I sat next to her once. Thought she was beautiful. And she’s very happy in Alaska, and I hope she’ll stay there.”

BREAKING NEWS: Massachusetts’ women voters will be particularly interested in learning that their newly elected Republican Senator and nudist Scott Brown voted this week to block the Paycheck Fairness Act. The law would have amended the portion of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (FLSA) known as the Equal Pay Act so that women would receive equal pay for equal work. It appears that Scott Brown believes sex discrimination is good for business.

Scott Brown in his Senate office.

GO PACKERS!!!

Centerfold song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNhnThb8gEw

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(REPEAT)

Christine O’Donnell’s “All Of Them Any Of Them” Moment

 

O'Donnell when asked to name a Supreme Court decision.

 

Wow! Did you Rocketeers see the Christine O’Donnell/Chris Coons debate on CNN last night? If that performance by O’Donnell did not put the final death-inducing stake in her candidacy’s heart, then… Oh, wait a second there, wrong analogy. Let’s try again. If that performance by O’Donnell did not resemble death-inducing water being poured upon this witch’s candidacy, then what will?

Neither the debate moderators nor Chris Coons even delved into the juicy stuff that the witchcraft dabbling, satanic-alter dating, non-masturbating, meatball-loving would-be Hare Krishna must have feared would surface during the debate. There was no need to. Christine O’Donnell committed political suicide simply by either failing to answer the position questions that she was asked, or by contradicting herself repeatedly. She truly displayed a Palinesque ability to make a fool of herself in a situation where she was forced to answer un-screened questions.

In future posts, Lynnrockets will comment upon many of the witchy woman’s blunders but today we will focus on her Sarah Palin inspired “all of them any of them” moment. Everyone remembers back in 2008 when Palin was asked by Katie Couric in a nationally televised interview, “What other (i.e. other than Roe v. Wade) Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?” The completely dumbfounded Palin answered, “Ummmmm, well let’s see, in the course of the great history of America there have been rulings that there’s never gonna be consensus by every American and there are those issues again like Roe v. Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there, there would be others”. Kouric then followed-up with the completely unfair “gotcha question”, “Can you think of any?” To which Palin responded, ” Well, I would think of, of any again that could best be dealt with on a more local level that maybe I would take issue with. But, UMMM, as a mayor and then as a governor and even as a Vice President if I’m so privileged to serve, would be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today”. Translation? Sarah Palin was incapable of naming even one other Supreme Court decision.

That Palin gaffe was so widely spread across this great nation of ours that one would think that any serious future candidate for public office would hone-up on a few Supreme Court decisions. But we are talking about Tea Party darling Christine O’Donnell. She adores her “Mama Grizzly” so much that when asked exactly the same question, she mimicked her mentor to a “tea”. Let’s go to the transcript, shall we?

KARIBJANIAN:  Well, we’ve talked about the Supreme Court, and obviously a United States senator has the opportunity to determine in a way the make-up of that court.  So what opinions of late that have come from our high court do you most object to?

O’DONNELL:  Oh, gosh.  Give me a specific one, I’m sorry.

KARIBJANIAN:  Actually, I can’t, because I need you to tell me which ones you object to.

O’DONNELL:  I’m very sorry.  Right off the top of my head, I know that there are a lot, but I’ll put it up on my Web site, I promise you.

BLITZER:  Well, we know you disagree with Roe versus Wade.

O’DONNELL:  Yes, but that was — she said a recent one.

BLITZER:  Well, that’s relatively recent.

O’DONNELL:  She said, of late. Yes, well, Roe versus Wade would not put the power — sorry, it’s 30 (ph)…(CROSSTALK)

BLITZER:  But since then,  have there been any other…(LAUGHTER) BLITZER:  … Supreme Court decisions?

O’DONNELL:  Well, let me say, about Roe versus Wade, Roe versus Wade, if that were overturned, would not make abortion illegal in the United States, it would put the power back to the states.

BLITZER:  But besides that decision, anything else you disagree with?

O’DONNELL:  Oh, there are several, when it comes to pornography,
when it comes to court decisions, not just Supreme Court, but federal
court decisions to give terrorists Miranda-ized rights.

I mean, there are a lot of things that I believe that — this California decision to overturn “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell,” I believe that there are a lot of federal judges who are legislating from the bench.

BLITZER:  That wasn’t the Supreme Court, it’s a lower court.

O’DONNELL:  That was a federal judge — that’s what I said, in
California.

Incredible! With over two years of preparation for that question, Christine O’Donnell was still unprepared to name a Supreme Court decision. Things could only have been funnier if O’Donnell was asked to name the newspapers or magazines that she reads so as to stay abreast of the news and she parroted the Palin answer, “All of them any of them”. If “imitation is the best form of flattery”, then Sarah Palin should be gushing with pride this morning.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Lady Madonna song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rlCNswKvk8

CRAZY O’DONNELL

(sung to the Beatles song “Lady Madonna”)

Crazy O’Donnell, headed for defeat
Sarah Palin’s pal is a dumb dead-beat
Use donor’s money when you pay your rent
Did you think that money was heaven sent?

Every night you prove you are a fruit-cake
Every morning you blame everyone
Come November 2 when you lose your race
Where will you run?

Crazy O’Donnell, you sure failed your test
You and you’re Tea Party are such a mess

Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da…
You’re dead and done

Crazy O’Donnell, all those things you said
About not masturbating in your own bed

Thank God your campaign will soon be ending
Then you can go back where you came from
The things you said we were not comprehending
Not even one

Crazy O’Donnell, could not take the heat
Now we laugh as she goes down in defeat.

Sarah Palin: A Twittering Chronic Facebook Malcontent

The E*Trade Baby is perplexed by Palin.

In light of this week’s flurry of childlike Twitter tweets against both Alan Grayson and new White House Chief of Staff, Pete Rouse, it is painfully obvious that Sarah Palin will disagree with any Democratic Party member’s words or actions simply to provide an opposition. If a Democrat claimed that the earth is round, she would say it is not. If a Democrat said he had dinner in the evening, she would say that it was consumed in the morning. Her tactic is quite reminiscent of the “bridge to nowhere” situation when she said “thanks” before saying “thanks, but no thanks”.

It is not surprising however, that the former half-term ex-quitting Governor of Alaska only utilizes the sophomoric forms of communication known as Twitter and Facebook and the comfy confines of Fox News to distribute her anti-Democrat invectives. After all, the entire nation witnessed her inability to handle interviews with unscripted questions during the 2008 campaign when she was publicly humiliated by her inability to field questions from Katie Couric and Charles Gibson. perhaps Alan Grayson said it best however, in his retort to the Queen of Quit,

“What is it about Sarah Palin and Twitter? Is Palin fond of tweeting because she can draft a tweet on her palm? Is it that 140 characters represents the maximum length of Sarah Palin’s attention span?”

Way to go, Alan. Let her have it with both barrels.

Finally, you must ask yourself, “why is Sarah Palin such a big fan of Facebook”? After all, the medium was the invention of one of those elitist Ivy League students hailing from the elitist of elite East Coast Ivy League institutions known as Harvard? Then again, the uninformed Palin is probably not aware of that.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Things We Said Today song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwokRK8P6D4&feature=related

THINGS SHE SAID TODAY

(sung to the Beatles song “Things We Said Today”)

Thinking of Sarah P.
Up there in the snow
Thinking she’s “mavericky”
Little does she know

Somedays when I’m lonely
Pining for old Tina Fey
Then I will remember
Things she said today

She’s not a refined girl
Disgraced in prime time
And she’s not a kind girl
She wallows in the slime

Her words have no meaning
But she sure has a lot to say
It’s fun to remember
Things she said today

She has such a simple mind
With nothing to say that isn’t fluff
Nonetheless she is inclined
To just have her way by talking tough

Yet she’s a blind girl
She’s a phony one
Despised and maligned girl
She will soon be gone

Ego that needs weaning
Lacking in the skill of word play
She cannot remember
Things she said today

She had lots of books to sign
What were her supporters thinking of?
Did they feel left behind
When she went away and had enough

Of being kind, girl
She said she was done
Let them wait in line girl
Take your cash and run

Someday when she’s scheming
Hand in glove of her next pay-day
Will Palin remember
Things she said today?

Sarah Palin = “Stress, Drama, Complications, Panic and Loads of Uncertainty”

This week’s episode of Republicans Eating Their Own features Meghan McCain and Sarah Palin. McCain, you might recall is the gritty and abrasive daughter of 2008 Republican presidential nominee, John McCain. Palin of course, is the former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska and 2008 Republican vice-presidential nominee. You know, John McCain’s former ill-chosen BFF.

Meghan McCain and Sarah Palin are not friends. In fact, daughter McCain (in true Palin fashion) has just authored a book in which she devotes substantial time to the ill-fated McCain/Palin presidential campaign. The book is titled, “Dirty Sexy Politics” and Meghan pulls few punches. Of Palin she says,

She was not just an overnight success or even a political Cinderella story, she was a sudden, freakishly huge, full-fledged phenomenon. It seemed too much. And it seemed too easy. In my heart of hearts, I’d always hoped my father would pick Senator Joe Lieberman as his running mate.

McCain went on to say that she predicted problems on the campaign trail even before Palin joined the team and that her predictions came true to the extent that Palin was more poisonous than she could have ever predicted.

Drama was inevitable on a campaign and created almost out of thin air. Tempers were always flying, and feelings were always being hurt. There was no question that a running mate would add to the confusion and upset, but I couldn’t have predicted just how serious it was going to get. Katie Couric’s interview with her before the vice presidential debate had been disastrous. Unhappy with her performance, Palin seemed to blame the interview on the campaign. And she continued to blame other poor interviews and snafus on the campaign too. Sarah Palin. She was turning out to be somebody who leaves a wake of confusion and chaos – to the point of dizziness – wherever she went.

McCain also describes the Diva-like self-importance of Sarah Palin and her family. She discloses feelings bordering on pettiness regarding interactions with the Palin family. “I felt a joke in the air, but it was on me” McCain said in summarizing an encounter in a Republican convention makeup room.

All the chairs were taken. The stylists were busy with the Palin kids, as well as Levi. ‘Can you make time for me?’ I asked. “‘You’ll have to wait,’ the makeup artist replied. Levi, Bristol, Willow, and Piper, who was seven, needed to be styled first … ‘They’ll be getting more airtime.

McCain believes that Palin’s brand of hate-filled fear-inflicting politics will not be successful for the Republican Party. She provides the following advice for the 2010 election: “The bedrock of the Republican Party is freedom of the individual … Not hatred … A hyper-conservative candidate has no chance of winning against President Obama … the Republican party has to start being open to new people, new blood, and new ideas.

In her book, Meghan McCain has identified Sarah Palin as being a major reason why her ticket lost the 2008 election and she has also predicted that the Palin approach to politics (uber-conservatism, hate and fear mongering) will cause her to lose future elections. In short, she is calling Sarah Palin a loser. Ouch! Take that, Sarah Palin!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Pretty Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rlB_q6lJ5A

PETTY WOMAN

(sung to the Roy Orbison song “Pretty Woman”)

Petty woman, cannot take the heat
Petty woman, with her Twitter tweets
Petty Woman, I don’t believe you
Can tell the truth
No other crook’s as good as you
Mercy

Petty woman, that’s our Sarah P.
Petty woman, and her Glenn Beck buddy
Petty woman, and her other pal, Hannity
They all work for Fox TV

Petty woman, winks and smiles
Slutty flight attendant style
Petty woman thinks she’s “mav’ricky”
Petty woman will not say
What convention speeches pay
Petty woman speaks in Palineese

We will read you
FaceBook tonight
“Drill Baby-Baby”
You’re not too bright

Petty woman and “First Dude” guy
Built a fence that is, ten feet high
Petty woman, just go away
OK

Joe McGinniss can still see your ways
He sees your rabid foam of hate
You’re such a sorry sight
But wait, Joe now can see
Sarah Palin’s on TV
Yeah, she’s there on Fox TV
O-oh
Petty Woman


Palin’s Primative Punditry Provokes President

Palin is "over her head"

Sarah Palin suffered a dose of “right back at ya” prescribed by the Democratic National Committee this week. CNN reports that the former Republican vice presidential hopeful (and potential 2012 presidential hopeful) is not letting up in her constant drumbeat of criticism directed about President Obama. But the Democrats, in turn, called her out as well.

After saying Sunday that Arizona’s female Republican governor has more “cojones” than Obama when it comes to immigration and border security, Palin suggested Wednesday night that the 44th president is still trying to figure out his governing philosophy.

Asked about her ongoing narrative that Obama is too weak when it comes to issues like national security and immigration, Palin shared her insights on Fox News Channel (where else?) about why she believes Obama is not doing more to secure the borders. She said,

I think he’s quite complacent, and I think he’s in over his head. And I think he has poor advisers around him. And I think he’s really in flux kind of when it comes to what his governing philosophy actually is. Some of this though is a result of he not having much experience and then a complicit media and maybe some voters who chose to not to allow him to be vetted very closely. It’s a combination of things that’s resulting in a president who’s not taking a strong stand on those things that are the will of the people. Obviously, the will of the people is to enforce the laws that we have on the books.

Think about that quote for a moment. Sarah Palin, the half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska and current reality television series host believes that President Obama is “in over his head” and was not “vetted very closely”. This, coming from a failed politician who cannot speak in public without resorting to palm printed crib notes. This, coming from an undereducated former candidate who was incapable of coherently answering questions of policy posed by Katie Couric, Charles Gibson or even Fox friendly Bill O’Reilly. If anyone was ever over their head or not vetted properly it was Sarah Palin and the Democrats are now telling the American people. In a response statement e-mailed to CNN, the DNC wrote,

While former half-term governor Palin is certainly an expert in not being vetted, we put our trust in the judgment of the American people who rejected not only the broken policies she and Republicans continue to call for, but also this very kind of childish politics she continues to engage in. What’s been fully vetted and thoroughly rejected by the American people is the failed approach in tone and substance offered by Sarah Palin and her ilk.

Ouch! Take that, Sarah Palin!

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Over My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDx-YAjpa9E

I’M OVER MY HEAD II

(sung to the Fleetwood Mac song “Over My Head”)

They say DC is paradise
Before going there, I better think twice
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Nothing to say when I take that mike
I’m just a clown and yet they just might, think I’m crazy,
It’s such a plight

My thoughts are like a ferris wheel
They’re spinning all the time
Sometimes I can’t help but feel
That I’m losing all of my mind

Over my head Mmmm …

I hope I don’t just grunt and squeal
Perhaps I better mime
Why did I accept this deal
For a measly couple of dimes

They’ll be staring at my backside
I will be losing all of my pride
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Levi Johnston Says, “I Want MY MTV”

As we’ve said so many times in the past, sometimes these blog entries and song parodies simply write themselves. Today is one of those instances.

The reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston had allegedly shopped around for a reality television series chronicling their upcoming wedding and early day-to-day marriage life. Their efforts failed however, after the networks decided that they were not entertaining and hence were unmarketable. Their joint dreams of fame were at least temporarily squashed, but Levi had another plan. Only this time, Bristol was not in the mix.

Plan B? Well, it has now been revealed that Johnston, the former nude model, will appear in an R&B music video in which he will play a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it? The actual R&B artist is someone known as Brittani Senser.

This should absolutely send Sarah Palin over the edge. It is clear that the half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is not pleased that her formerly unmarried pregnant teen daughter will now tie the knot with the child’s uneducated and unemployed father. Sarah Palin is a revenge seeker of the highest order (see, Mike Wooten, David Letterman, Joe McGinniss and Lisa Murkowski) and she will be enraged at the fact that the narrative of the song reflects her own previous treatment of Johnston. Remember when she castigated Johnston on Oprah for pursuing a career in porn? It remains to be seen how Sarah “Plain and Stupid” will exact her revenge at this thinly veiled slight by Johnston.

Will she for instance, boycott the wedding? Will she attend the wedding but forget to bring a gift? Will she plan and pay for the newlyweds’ honeymoon trip maybe to North Korea or Iran? Will she hire a ghostwriter to pen a tell-all tome of Johnston? Better yet, perhaps Sarah will utilize a tete-for-tete strategy by means of appearing in her own music video in which she tells the tale of an impregnating stalker of innocent teens. Johnston must be warned that revenge is a dish best served cold.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART II)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said that, “soon I will be on MTV”

Christ you know he loves TV,
His part should earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Tricking Bristol into marrying,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“My mom is to blame,”
“She always has her henchmen on call”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Conservative Boston Rag Exposes Palin Gaffes and Ignorance (UPDATED)

Wow, now even the conservative newspapers are pointing out Sarah Palin’s multiple recent gaffes. On Tuesday, the Boston Herald (Enquirer) revealed to its conservative readership that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska knows not what she is talking about when it comes to geography, court decisions or  New Hampshire legislation. Mind you, this particular newspaper is merely the barely read conservative rag of a tabloid that plays a distant second fiddle to the city’s newspaper of record, The Boston Globe. Nonetheless, it is a good sign when a conservative arm of the media not only recognizes Sarah Palin’s ignorance but exposes it to the public. Kudos to the Boston Herald.

Alaska’s former Quitter-in-Chief waded into the waters of New Hampshire politics (the first presidential primary state) last week when she endorsed Republican Senate hopeful Kelly Ayotte. Predictably, Palin utilized the sophomoric means of communication known as Facebook to publish her ignorance. The Herald (Enquirer), which is usually a trusted ally of anything conservative, reported that Palin, in reference to Alaska’s Kodiac Island, said,

As we work and sightsee on America’s largest island, we’ll get to view more majestic bears, so now is a good time to draw attention to the political equivalent of the species.

Apparently, Palin does not realize that Kodiac is not “America’s largest island”. In fact, America’s largest island is Hawaii. To add insult to injury, the newspaper revealed that Palin should know a little something about Hawaii inasmuch as one of her many sub-par college stints took place there. By that measure, she should also know a little bit about Alaska and Idaho also too.

But that was not Palin’s only mistake. The conservative newspaper reported that Palin “also overlooked some key facts in saying Ayotte ‘battled all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court to protect the rights of New Hampshire parents — and won!’”  The Herald pointed out that Palin mentioned the case three times in seven paragraphs, concluding that Ayotte will fight for New Hampshire voters “just as passionately and fearlessly as she fought for you in the highest court of the land.”

Truth be told however, Ayotte (New Hampshire’s Attorney General at the time) never won the case in question. The case was never decided by the U.S. Supreme Court, and the law which she was defending (i.e. a requirement that there be 48 hour parental notification prior to a minor’s abortion) was repealed by the state’s own legislature prior to its enactment. Hence, Sarah Palin once again demonstrated a thorough lack of knowledge of Supreme Court decisions just as she did when she was famously quizzed by Katie Couric. Just for giggles, let’s take a look at that one once again, shall we?

Sarah Palin is a Moran (as that great Tea-Bagger sign once said) and it is nice to see that at least one conservative newspaper in the “lamestream media” is finally revealing that fact to its readers.

UPDATE

CNN now reports that in a blistering Op-Ed on the front page of the ultra-conservative New Hampshire Union-Leader‘s Wednesday edition, publisher Joseph McQuaid writes the former Alaska governor and vice presidential nominee knows little about the Granite State and even less about its residents.

Former Gov. Palin isn’t making these endorsements because, as she claims, she has spent time in New Hampshire and thus knows that the people here are a lot like Alaskans. She spent a few hours here on one day during the 2008 Presidential election. That’s still more time than she spent getting to know Ayotte, but it takes quite a bit longer to know New Hampshire. Don’t fret over what a “Mama Grizzly” from Alaska does, right now, Granite Staters have more to worry about in keeping bears away from bird feeders.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which was suggested by regular Blast-Off reader, Ripley in CT.

The Ballad Of Davey Crockett song link:  http://www.televisiontunes.com/Davey_Crocket.html

THE BALLAD OF SARAH PALIN

(sung to the television theme song “Ballad Of Davey Crockett”)

Lives in a compound up in Wassilly,
Behind a big fence so Joe can’t see
She got a taste of being “Mavericky”,
So she quit her job as Alaska’s G
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Tea-Baggers follow her where she goes,
Starin’ at their tv’s when she’s on Fox shows
A Palin sighting sets them all aglow,
As she shakes their hands and then takes all their dough
Sarah, Sarah Palin, spreading her hate and fear!

Through Red State woods she’s a marchin’ along,
Makin’ up yarns like her “death panel” song
Her looks are frightenin’ and she smells quite strong,
She’s really just a liar with facts all wrong
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the brain-dead buccaneer!

Letterman said that she dresses like a whore,
Then she screamed so much that her throat got sore
She had money but she needed some more,
Got herself a Greyhound for her book tour
Sarah, Sarah Palin, profiteering pioneer!

She says the Lord is her guiding hand,
And dinosaurs co-existed with man
All those books that disagree should be banned,
That sciencey stuff she don’t understand
Sarah, Sarah Palin, logic she will not hear!

She believes that Congress should go to Hell,
She will send them there by castin’ a witch spell
Palin wants Washington to listen well,
To all those fabrications that she does tell
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the moonbat of the year!

When she goes home her politickin’ done,
Alaskans all will up and run
But Sarah will pick up her trusty gun,
And shoot up all her neighbors just for fun
Sarah, Sarah Palin, her rifle sight is clear!

She moved to Houston an’ Austin so,
To the southern states she just had to go
Tea-Baggers were fightin’ another foe,
And Sarah hates the immigrant Joe
Sarah, Sarah Palin, nativist without peer!

She’s not the smartest but she is dumbest,
Despite six schools could not pass a test
When it comes to being dumb she’s the best,
She should make her home in a cuckoo’s nest
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!


Mitt(wit) Romney Outpaces Failin’ Palin

The Shark and his Prey

Sarah Palin has recently benefited from a lot of speculation, rumors and self promoting innuendo regarding a potential run for President in 2012. She has been making appearances and injecting herself (in the form of endorsements and campaign contributions) in the local politics of early primary states. She is staying active on the conservative word-salad loving speaking speaking tour. She even added fuel to the fire about a possible run with BFF, Sean Hannity of Faux News recently when she said,

I don’t want to hurt the cause. I don’t want to divide the nation. There’s going to be a lot of contemplation and prayer that goes into a decision like that between now and ’12.

Problem is, despite all the buzz, Palin (the former half-term Governor of Alaska) is being demonstratively outpaced in fundraising by Mitt Romney (the former full-term Governor of Massachusetts and 2008 Republican Presidential candidate). While Ms. Quittypants has been busy courting the Tea-Baggers, endorsing radical candidates and making controversial and abrasive remarks via Facebook and Twitter, Mitt(wit) has been quietly going about the business of coordinating an effective campaign by amassing the most important tool in a candidate’s arsenal – money.

CNN reports that Mitt Romney raised $1.8 million during the second fundraising quarter of this year, far outpacing the other Republicans he may face in the next presidential race. He has also  devoted considerable money to building an extensive national political network, doling out more than $400,000 to various 2010 candidates through his Free and Strong America political action committee and its state-level affiliates. All told, Romney has collected $3.4 million since the beginning of the year – more than double the roughly $1.3 million that each of his next closest rivals in the money chase, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, raised during the same period. Also, with less  than four months until the midterm elections, Romney has nearly $2.2 million left in the bank, giving him the financial muscle necessary to be a power player in Republican politics as November nears.

Conversely, in the second quarter, Palin raised $865,000, according to a report filed with the Federal Election Commission. She spent $87,500 contributing to Republican candidates and has roughly $1 million on hand. Bottom line? Palin is a sprinter that lacks the endurance of marathoner Romney. Palin is a plebian and Romney is a power-broker. Palin is a fad and Romney is a presence.

Despite the fact that Mitt(wit) Romney is a far more credible Presidential candidate (along with many others) than the hollow Palin, don’t you just hope that she throws her hat into the ring for 2012? Imagine all the side-splitting laughs we will have when she is publicly eviscerated (ala Katie Couric) by the serious candidates in the Republican primary debates. Won’t it be a hoot to see her trying to answer a question by means of surreptitiously peeking at her palm-printed crib notes? We can all stare in dumbfounded disbelief as she tries to substitute a flurry of winks, blinks and “Ya Betchas” for coherent responses. Oh, please Run Sarah, Run!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Y-M-C-A song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

2-0-1-2

(sung to the Village People song “Y-M-C-A”)

Sarah, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Sarah, just because you’re a clown
I said, Sarah, a smile isn’t a frown
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Sarah, you lost a race with McCain
I said, Sarah, you flushed him right down the drain
And you messed up all of your interviews
But you’re still on the nightly news

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

We’ll have such a good time when you fall on your face,
And we’ll revel in your disgrace…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You will have SarahPac, and a new running mate
To help spread Politics of Hate…

Sarah, are you listening to me?
I said, Sarah, you’ll have to go on TV
I said, Sarah, I’m sure we’ll laugh till we pee
And you’ve got to know this one thing!

You make a big ass of yourself
Every time that you open your mouth
You give ammo, to our friend Tina Fey
She just repeats the things you say…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You’ll get all of the votes from the states that are red
But, the G.O.P. is now dead…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, you’ll need a fork cuz you’re done…

Sarah, you’ll have a case of the blues
I said, Sarah, has no grasp of world views
But that’s OK, cuz she amuses us,
As we throw her under the bus…

That’s when she will realize that,
Her future, is modeling for “Arctic Cat”
Maybe she’ll host a reality show
If they pay her with enough dough.

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2

She can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, she’ll need a fork cuz she’s done…

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll wear a big frown
Sarah, Sarah to us you are a clown

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll have a case of the blues
Sarah, Sarah I said, why don’t you just go vamoos.
2-0-1-2

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