Category Archives: John Boehner

Run Along Now Sarah Palin, Adults Are Trying To Have A Debt Ceiling Discussion Here.

Palin responds to question about debt ceiling.

As the August 2nd Debt Ceiling deadline looms and the President and members of Congress attempt to devise some sort of mutually acceptable legislation which will serve to increase the ceiling, cut future spending and raise revenues, America’s most famous unelected celebrity wants to have her say. As the deadline clock is ticking and our nation’s economic fate hangs in the balance, Sarah Palin wants to rattle some cages and widen divides in such a way that if anyone took her seriously (and thankfully very few do) no compromise could ever be reached and America would for the first time in history, default on its debt obligations.

While appearing last night on Fox News (where else?), the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said that President Obama is simply “scaring” the American people about the negative consequences of defaulting on our obligations. CNN reports that Palin said,

“Scaring the American people is exactly what President Obama is doing. The president’s getting pretty good at this fear mongering and trying to cram down the public’s throat this idea of bigger government, more spending.”

She also criticized Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner by saying,

“The internal problem that he has is reinventing the wheel here in the 11th hour, when we already have Cut, Cap and Balance that passed the House, and we don’t need to retreat now and wave a white flag. This August 2 deadline is looming, but it’s not Armageddon, it’s not life-or-death, so Boehner and the Republicans have got to make sure that they’ve got a good plan in front of those who will be voting on this plan.”

Honestly, Sarah would you please just sit back and let the big boys and girls handle this? It is virtually universally agreed by all experts (i.e. economists and financial advisers) that a debt default would be catastrophic. It would lead to an almost instantaneous downgrade of the nation’s credit rating which would cause the dollar to sink while interest rates soar and cause our debt to increases drastically. It would imperil payments to Social Security recipients and military members and their families.

Perhaps that great liberal Ronald Reagan sized it up best in 1987 when he described the folly of not raising the debt ceiling as follows:

“Congress consistently brings the government to the edge of default before facing its responsibility. This brinksmanship threatens the holders of government bonds and those who rely on Social Security and veterans benefits. Interest rates would skyrocket, instability would occur in financial markets, and the Federal deficit would soar.”

You see Sarah, you’re bachelor’s degree in journalism which took you 6 years and 5 colleges to earn, does not qualify you to be a voice which must be heard on this complicated subject. Have you also forgotten that inasmuch as you hold no elective office, you have no meaningful standing to inject yourself into the debate? Your voice is one that does not matter or have any positive effect.

So Sarah Palin, please take note that adults are trying to discuss the debt ceiling and it would be best for the country if you would just run along.

By the way, we are just wondering whether you plan to run for President? Any update or is that another matter on which you have nothing significant to say?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Over My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXZf833Gnxw

I’M OVER MY HEAD II

(sung to the Fleetwood Mac song “Over My Head”)

They say DC is paradise
Before going there, I better think twice
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Nothing to say when I take that mike
I’m just a clown and yet they just might, think I’m crazy,
It’s such a plight

My thoughts are like a ferris wheel
They’re spinning all the time
Sometimes I can’t help but feel
That I’m losing all of my mind

(job quitting break)

I hope I don’t just grunt and squeal
Perhaps I better mime
Why did I accept this deal
For a measly couple of dimes

They’ll be staring at my backside
I will be losing all of my pride
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 83

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Representative Paul Ryan, the House Budget Committee chairman who has become a star in the Republican Party with his plan to destroy Medicare, is emerging as an unpopular figure among Americans. By a margin of 57 percent to 34 percent, recent Bloomberg poll respondents say they would be worse off if Ryan’s plan to convert Medicare to a system of subsidized private health coverage were adopted.Fifty-eight percent of independents, a critical voting bloc in recent elections, say they would be worse off. That’s likely to encourage Democrats to bank their success in next year’s presidential and congressional races on tying Republicans to the Medicare plan, which was passed by the Republican-controlled House on April 15.

THIS JUST IN:  The Republican controlled House has approved a bill removing a barrier to companies seeking to drill for oil in some areas offshore. The White House opposes the measure, saying it deprives citizens of a way to challenge permits and would also increase air pollution. Is it a surprise to anyone that the party that hates mother earth is up to its old tricks once again?

BREAKING NEWS:  The folks over at Buzzflash were spot-on when they concluded that it appeared that Minnesota’s moonbat-crazy Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann did well in last week’s GOP debate simply as the result of “not spewing vomit as her head twisted around”! Doesn’t everyone love a good “Exorcist” reference?

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but if the Republicans know so much about creating jobs, then why was there negative job growth from 2000 through 2007 when they were in control of the government and it was a period of relative economic prosperity?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Leave It To The Courts To Redress Faulty GOP Policy” features Republican Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels and his law which eliminated funding to Planned Parenthood. U.S. District Court Judge Sarah Evans on Friday granted a preliminary injunction preventing Indiana from enforcing the law that eliminated funding to the organization because it performs abortions.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Dazed And Confused” features the Republican members of the House. The majority party attempted to disgrace the President by rebuking his actions in Libya and cutting the funds for the military action. Problem is, the GOP does not know what it wants. In a very confusing action, the House voted to rebuke the President for the action, but also voted to continue funding the action. It is obvious that Speaker John Boehner has no control over his minions. This was an embarrassing defeat for the Republicans.

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time that some Republican tells you Texas is the best job creation state in the Union and that GOP gov. Rick Perry deserves the credit, remind them of this. ThinkProgress reveals that the theory that Perry has a stellar record on job creation is simply not true. As the Austin American-Statesman noted, “while the national unemployment rate is 9.1 percent and the Texas unemployment rate is 8 percent, some 23 states, including New York, have lower unemployment rates.” In addition, “jobs grew at about the same rate during Democrat Ann Richards’ four years as governor” as they have under Perry. Moreover, as it turns out, Texas is in fact leading the nation in one employment metric — the number and percentage of minimum wage jobs. Additionally, Texas has by far the largest number of employees working at or below the federal minimum wage.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “This Deserves Repeating” features Teapublican Sarah Palin. When the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska told reporters that she would like to meet the Prime Minister during her world tour next month, a Thatcher aide reportedly said, “Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Inasmuch as infamous Boston Irish Mob Boss and the nation’s “Most Wanted” villain, Whitey Bulger was captured last week, we were wondering what Martin Scorsese’s sequel to the film “The Departed” will be entitled. Perhaps “The Recently Apprehended” or “The Returned”? Any other suggestions?

THIS JUST IN:  Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “Suspect in Custody for ‘Suspicious” backpack is Marine Corps Reservist.” Comment: “All of you liberals, illegal immigrants, and muslims need to be rounded-up and put into camps that are surrounded by razor-wire!!!” How is that for conservative intellectualism?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “How Soon They Are Forgotten” features former Fox News host and self-described “rodeo clown” Glenn Beck. Honestly think about this for a moment. When was the last time you heard anything about the now near-invisible Beck? Well, TPM reports that Glenn Beck said Thursday that he will be visiting the former Nazi death camp Auschwitz in a visit to Poland, and he’ll broadcast a special from a town outside of the camp because this will help him “figure out,” he says, “how did this happen?” Beck went on to say, “Poland, I didn’t know this when I first started doing my research. Poland rose up, a lot of Poles rose up, to try to help the Jews but they had nothing left. They had no arms.” Apparently Beck’s research failed to reveal that Poland “did not exactly have a reputation for passionate philo-Semitism. Towards the end of the war, anti-Jewish riots even broke out in several Polish cities as Jews were returning to their homes.” It is nice to know that some things never change. Glenn Beck continues to misinform.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Crazy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OVtpnpCOKM

HE’S CRAZY

(sung to the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”)

Crazy
Glenn Beck is a demented phony
He’s crazy
Marbles? He’s missing a few

We knew
He was one of Bellevue’s “Most Wanted”
And that someday
He’d make an asylum debut

Sorry
Beck’s on a mental safari
Wondrin’
How did he go so koo-koo

Oh, crazy
Glenn’s crazy and back on the home brew
There’s no use denyin’
Beck can’t stop cryin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
And stupid too

Crazy
We’re not sure that Beck’s not sniffing glue
It seems like he’s flyin’
We’re not just implyin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
We know it’s true

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 76

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Tolerance In Action” features potential GOP candidate for President, Newt Gingrich. Think Progress reports that the Associated Press revealed that one of the cogs in Newt Gingrich’s vast network of business enterprises and front groups, ReAL Action, provided $125,000 to the American Family Association Action, an anti-gay activist organization that has been officially labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. The group’s outspoken policy directory Bryan Fischer has “proposed criminalizing homosexual behavior” and has even advocated forcing gays into “reparative” therapy.

THIS JUST IN:  Glenn Beck‘s program on Fox News was mercifully terminated last week and as a result thereof, millions of Americans will no longer be subjected to his vile and racist hate-speak and his on-air mental breakdown. MediaMatters For America has compiled a very comprehensive list of “The 50 Worst Things Glenn Beck Said On Fox News”. Check it out because it is quite eye-opening.

BREAKING NEWS: Think Progress reports Democrats and labor activists are ready to file another recall petition in Wisconsin, as they are expected to submit nearly 24,000 signatures against state Sen. Randy Hopper (R). Only about 15,000 signatures are needed to successfully trigger a recall. It will mark the second time in less than a week that a recall petition has been successfully filed against a Wisconsin Senate Republican, after organizers submitted about 22,000 signatures against Sen. Dan Kapanke (R) last Friday. Among the signatures may be those of Hopper’s former maid and his estranged wife. (Hopper is reportedly having an affair with a former staffer and now lives outside of his district.) His wife has even indicated that she will contribute to whomever runs against Hopper in a recall election. Revenge of course, is best served cold!

THIS JUST IN: Remember all that Republican talk last election season about their focus being on job creation? Well, Republican Rep. Paul Ryan (WI) unveiled his draconian budget resolution bill last week which not only would drastically cut Medicaid benefits and inflict enormous hardship on the most vulnerable populations in society by depriving them of access to basic health care. It would also cause the loss of nearly two million private sector jobs. See this report of The Economic Policy Institute. So much for the GOP commitment to job creation!

BREAKING NEWS: It is nice to see that some Florida voters have finally awakened to smell the coffee. News4Jax.com reports that Republican voters who once favored Gov. Rick Scott said they’re suffering from voter’s remorse. To ease their worries, a group of card-carrying Republicans went to the Duval County Supervisor of Elections office Thursday to switch their party affiliation. In a recent Quinnipiac survey, only 35 percent of registered voters in Florida questioned gave Scott a positive job approval rating. The common reasons given by those who disapprove of Scott’s job so far are Florida’s slumping economy and the governor’s hard-right governing style.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Bad Decisions Have Consequences” features the newly elected Teapublican Governor of Maine, Paul LePage. In a bold attack against organized labor, LePage has ordered the removal from a state office building of a large mural depicting the state’s labor history. In response, the U.S. Department of Labor has demanded a refund of the approximately $ 60,000.00 of federal money that paid for it.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Fox News Gets A Pie In The Face” features who else but Fox News. Watch these buffoons try to gloat over the allegation that NBC News (owned by GE) did not report on the fact that GE paid no income tax last year. Continue to watch as they are informed that NBC news did, in fact,  cover the story. At about the 1:30 minute mark the whole discussion breaks down and the story is cut. How embarrassing and amateurish for an allegedly “fair and balanced” news network!

THIS JUST IN: Of course the most important and most widely covered news story of the week was the battle over the fiscal year 2011 budget which culminated in a bi-partisan compromise agreement which will be signed by the President tomorrow. In light of its importance and domination of the news cycle, the budget battle itself probably does not belong in this recap of  weekly events that “may have escaped your attention”. What you may have missed however, was the Tea Party‘s position and reaction both prior to and subsequent to the budget compromise. The Tea Baggers seriously expected that they would either achieve their draconian and unrealistic goal of cutting $ 100 Billion from the 2011 budget, de-funding Planned Parenthood, National Public Radio, the entire health care reform law which they refer to as ObamaCare and taking regulatory authority away from the EPA, or in the alternative, shutting down the government. Indeed scores of  Teapublicans and their servile representatives in the House gathered at the Capitol and chanted “Shut It Down!” for the last several days. Unfortunately for them, the Teapublicans lost on all counts as none of those things were included in the final budget and the government did not shut down. Consequently, the Tea Party’s irrational anger has now turned inward and they are clamoring for the removal of House Speaker John Boehner and every other mainstream Republican that dared to compromise with Democrats. As we have said so many times in the past, there is nothing more enjoyable than watching conservatives eat their young!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 72

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Democrats Are Smarter Than Republicans And Computers” features Rep. Russ Holt (D-NJ), Rep. Bill Cassidy (R-LA) and the IBM-powered supercomputer known as “Watson“. In a game of Jeopardy, the Democrat bested both the computer and the Republican who came in third. The question remains however, why would the Republicans choose somebody from Louisiana in the first place?

THIS JUST IN: Just wondering, but how long do you think it will take for the newly energized million or so union workers of Wisconsin to begin a recall petition against newly elected Teapublican Governor Scott Walker?

BREAKING NEWS: To give you a hint at the answer to the question asked just above, the most recent New York Times/CBS News poll reveals that Americans oppose weakening the bargaining rights of public employee unions by a margin of nearly two to one: 60 percent to 33 percent.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “We Can Only Hope” features Fox News chairman Roger Ailes who allegedly may face an indictment for instructing an employee to lie to the feds in an attempt to protect his BFF Rudolph Giuliani.

BREAKING NEWS: A little known fact has been flying under the radar since January. Moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann‘s Tea Party congressional caucus has been shrinking. The caucus had 52 members in the 111th Congress but only 50 in the 112th Congress. Leave it to wacky Bachmann to drive even the nutty Tea-Baggers away.

THIS JUST IN: We are still waiting for Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) to reveal the identity of his alleged childhood sexual molester to law enforcement agencies. The longer he refuses to identify this deviant, the longer the molester is a potential threat to more children. As the 2012 elections creep closer, Brown must realize that neither Massachusetts Democrats, Independents nor Republicans are likely to support a candidate that enables a child molester to roam freely in the Commonwealth. This story is not going away.

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News Comment of the week. Fox News Headline: Court Clears Delaware Cinema of Racial Bias In Telling Black patrons to Stay Quiet. Reader Comment: The real problem with this country is blacks. And sooner or later we are going to have to deal with it.Train yourselves and your children!!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Making Friends With The Palins” features former failed GOP Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. The former Arkansas governor and possible 2012 Republican presidential candidate criticized the actress Natalie Portman this week on a conservative radio show for being pregnant and unmarried. Huckabee said, “There aren’t really a lot of single moms out there that are making millions of dollars each year by being in a movie. I think it gives a distorted image that not everybody hires nannies and caretakers and nurses. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and would not get healthcare.” I wonder if he is willing to say the same thing about Bristol Palin? Unlike Bristol Palin, Portman attended Harvard University and graduated with a degree in psychology.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s fun statistic. The DailyBeast.com writes that an analysis of 20 years of politicians’ sex scandals reveals that Republicans have more of them – 34 since 1990, compared with 27 for Democrats. More interesting however, is the finding that Republicans have had more scandals that involved prostitutes, politicians claiming to stand for “family values”, and underage boys; while democrats’ scandals are more likely to involve female staffers, sexual harassment and underage girls. Read into that what you will.

THIS JUST IN: In case you were wondering, AAA reports that the average national price for a gallon of regular gasoline yesterday was $3.493 and rising.

In light of the fact that we are suffering from ever-increasing gasoline prices as the result of the turmoil in the middle-east, Lynnrockets has decided to forego the usual song parody today in favor of a particularly spot-on song by The Kinks from their 1979 Low Budget album. The song is titled “A Gallon of Gas” and it describes the state of affairs during the economic downturn of the mid-to-late 1970′s. As you can see, history does in fact have a way of repeating itself. Please enjoy the following video and song lyrics!

A Gallon Of Gas (The Kinks)

I’ve been waiting for years to buy a brand new cadillac
But now that I’ve got one I want to send it right back
I can’t afford the gas for my luxury limousine
But even if I had the dough no one’s got no gasoline

I went to my local dealer to see if he could set me straight
He said there’s a little gas going but you have to wait
But he offered some red hot speed and some really high grade hash
But a gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere for any amount of cash

I can score you some coke and some grade one grass
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
I’ve got some downers some speed all the drugs that you need
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
I love your body-work, but you’re really no use
How can I drive you when I got no juice?
Because it’s stuck in neutral and my engine’s got no speed
And the highways are deserted
and the air smells unnaturally clean.

It’s got power-assisted overdrive and carpets on the floor,
but it’s parked out front just like a dead dinosaur.
And I’ll be paying off the bank for 45 years or more.
It should go 100 miles an hour,
but it’s never moved away from my door.

Who needs a car and a seven-forty-seven
When you can’t buy a gallon of gas
Who needs a highway, an airport or a jet
When you can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
You can’t buy a gallon of gas

John Boehner Is The Fool On The Hill

This week’s episode of “Teapublicans Eating Their Own” features the Tea Party Nation and Republican House Speaker John Boehner (pronounced “boner”). Politico reports that Tea Party Nation wants to see Boehner defeated in the 2012 election.They are upset at what they believe to be the Speaker’s breaking of campaign promises to legislate the “Tea Party Way”.

The Tea-Baggers are primarily angry about the spending proposal recently passed in the House that would fund the government for the rest of fiscal year 2011 – which ends September 30. Although it would cut $61 billion from current spending levels, it falls far short of the $100 billion that Boehner and other Republicans promised to cut while campaigning last autumn. Judson Phillips, the founder of Tea Party Nation said, “The Republicans in the House quickly went squishy on that and had to be cajoled into cutting only $61 billion. Now, John Boehner is saying when the Senate comes back and they start negotiating…the $61 billion figure is not safe.” Phillips told CNN, “We’re getting more of the same political games as we have gotten in the past.”

Consequently, Phillips directed an attack directly at Boehner on the group’s website this week. He wrote,

“You look like a fool. Charlie Sheen is now making more sense than John Boehner.”

When asked by CNN if he was delivering an ultimatum, the Tea Party leader responded: “Yes.” He continued, “If Boehner doesn’t get up there, get on the ball, and start getting us some serious budget cuts –- I’m going to do whatever I can to have someone run a primary against Boehner.”

It is becoming more evident every day that there is a troubling split in conservative political circles. Establishment Republicans and Tea-Baggers are beginning to resemble the Hatfields and McCoys. The establishment Republicans are more realistic as to what conservative policies they might be capable of enacting with a Democratic Senate and President, while the wildly radical newly-elected Tea Partiers are facing a reality that they do not like and claim they will not accept. The feuding injures both camps. So long as each faction threatens to run candidates against the other, the GOP constituent base is being split. That bodes well for Democrats in 2012.

Is anything more satisfying than watching conservatives cannibalize each other? By the way, any day that John Boehner and Charlie Sheen are mentioned in the same sentence, is a good day for the Democratic Party!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“The Fool On The Hill” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg1k_G6fRpQ

THE FOOL ON THE HILL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
On Capitol Hill
Boehner is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
He is just a Koch brothers’ tool
And he has not one good answer
John’s the fool on the Hill

John goes out on the town
Drinks his nose a bright red
He’s an orange-skinned clown

“Hell No” he’ll say
Sporting a frown
John’s deaf to the people’s voices
Doesn’t care if they drown

The Tea Party also jeers him
For the promises he does break
Boehner never seems to notice
He’s the fool on the Hill

Clouds are gathering round
John’s lost all his street cred
Bedding lobbyists down

(spray-tan break)

And nobody seems to like him
He has become yesterday’s news
His leadership role is reeling
John’s the fool on the Hill

His support’s leaving town
And his backers have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool on the Hill

His support’s leaving town
And his backers have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Lynnrockets’ Political Oscar Night Recap

John Boehner thanks the Academy

What with all the attention focused on Hollywood last night, you might not have noticed that the City of Boston held the 235th annual Political Oscars. The storied event was held on the U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides) in Boston Harbor so that the Tea Partiers in the audience would feel at home. Prior to the ceremony, the nominees were paraded along the famous Freedom Trail past such historic sites as America’s first voucher-less public school, Paul Revere’s home, the site of the Boston Massacre and the Bunker Hill Monument. As they boarded Old Ironsides, they were pelted with tea-bags before they took their seats on the poop-deck. The event was not widely seen on television because all of America’s lamestream media networks were covering the “other” more popular pageant in LA. Thankfully, Al Jazeera did cover the event.

And the winners were…

Best Female Violent Rhetoric: Failed Nevada Republican Senate candidate Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle

- Runner-up: Reality TV host Sarah Palin – “It’s time to reload”

Best Male Violent Rhetoric: Fox News host and self-described “rodeo clown” Glenn Beck who said, “I want to kill Charlie Rangel with a shovel”

- Runner-up: Failed Arizona Republican Congressional candidate Jesse Kelly who, while running against Gabrielle Giffords, held a fund-raising event that was advertised as “Help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office. Shoot a fully automatic M16 with Jesse Kelly”

Best Female Fictitious Memoir: Reality TV host Sarah Palin for her “America By Heart” wherein the self-professed founding fathers-lover wrote, on page 189,  about the opinions of Founding Father John Adams, including his famous quotation, “we have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion.”   Her mistake is not in her analysis of the importance of faith to John Adams.  No, her error came in claiming that he had been a “leading participant at the Constitutional Convention.” The reality is that John Adams did not participate in the Constitutional Convention. He was Ambassador to Great Britain at the time.

- Runner-up: Condoleeza Rice’s “Extraordinary, Ordinary People” because it fails to mention a single thing about the run-up to the invasion of iraq.

Best Male Fictitious Memoir: George W. Bush who quoted in “Decision Points”, Gerhard Schröder (then German Chancellor),  as having said of the run-up to the Iraq invasion, “What is true of Afghanistan is true of Iraq. Nations that sponsor terror must face consequences. If you make it fast and make it decisive, I will be with you.” Bush then wrote, “I took that as a statement of support. But when the German election arrived later that year, Schröder had a different take. He denounced the possibility of force against Iraq.” Schröder however has had this to say about Bush, “Just as I did during my subsequent meetings with the American president, I made it clear that, should Iraq … prove to have provided protection and hospitality to al-Qaida fighters, Germany would reliably stand beside the US. This connection, however, as it became clear during 2002, was false and constructed.”

- Runner-up: Donald Rumsfeld’s “Known and Unknown” in which he wrote, “Powell was not duped or misled by anybody. Nor did he lie about Saddam’s suspected WMD stockpiles. The president did not lie. The vice president did not lie. (CIA Director George) Tenet did not lie. Rice did not lie. I did not lie. . . . The far less dramatic truth is that we were wrong.” ‘Nuff said.

Best Republican Propaganist (TV): Fox News

Best Republican Propagandist (Radio): Rush Limbaugh

Best Tan: Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner (pronounced “boner”)

- Runner-up: President Barack Obama

Most Creepy Sex Scandal: Todd “First Dude” Palin for having sex with the same prostitute that wife Sarah Palin frequented for massages

- Runner-up: Former married GOP Rep. Chris Lee from New York for posting an eerie shirtless Craigslist ad allegedly searching for both female and transsexual sex partners

Biggest Lie Of The Year 2010: PolitiFact editors and reporters have chosen “government takeover of health care” as the 2010 Lie of the Year. Said Jonathan Oberlander, a professor of health policy at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill:  “The label ‘government takeover” has no basis in reality, but instead reflects a political dynamic where conservatives label any increase in government authority in health care as a ‘takeover.’ “

- Runner-up: Moonbat-crazy Teapublican Rep. Michele Bachmann’s (MN) claim that Obama was going to spend $200 million a day on a trip to India.

Most Racist State: Arizona, for its unconstitutional “Show me your papers” law

State Which Spends Least Per Pupil On Education: Arizona

Highest Profile Employer of Illegal Immigrants: Failed GOP gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman of California

- Runner-up: Failed GOP presidential candidate Mitt(wit) Romney of Massachusetts

Most Chaste Politician: Failed GOP senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell of Delaware who does not masturbate

- First runner-up: Former ex-quitting half-term Republican governor of Alaska Sarah Palin who’s husband allegedly gets his action from her masseuse

- Second Runner-up: Bristol Palin, the former unwed pregnant teen and single mother who now preaches abstinence

Most Unlikely Presidential Candidate: Republican Donald Trump who would lead this nation out of the worst economic downturn since the great depression with the knowledge and skill he acquired after having filed for bankruptcy on at least four occasions

- Runner-up: Sarah Palin, who said on her failed un-reality television program that she’d rather be in Alaska “than in some stuffy old political office.”

It was a truly memorable night and after all the awards were handed out, the winners and runner-ups all accompanied Master of Ceremonies Charley Sheen down to Boston’s notorious red-light district “The Combat Zone” for more fun and frolic!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter -  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Does Sarah Palin Read Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off?

Boy, what a coincidence. Or was it? Remember, Sarah Palin says that she does not believe in coincidences. Nevertheless, it is peculiar that on the very evening after we posted a blog entry which postulated that potential G.O.P. presidential nominee rivals Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann may be in a cat-fight of iced-tea proportions, Palin appears on Fox News (where else?) and purrs complementary sweet nothings in the direction of Bachmann. You have to wonder, does palin ever find herself humming along to any of those song parodies? Probably not, but it would be humorous!

We wrote yesterday that the throne of the Tea Party is in dispute. Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska held the title of Queen of the Tea Baggers from the movement’s inception right on up to her disastrous “I Was The Actual Victim Of The Tucson Massacre” speech. Palin’s reign of terror was publicly broadcast to America on a near daily basis by means of her Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, Fox News appearances and her un-reality television series. Her hogging of the national “lamestream” media spotlight ensured that she was perceived as the undisputed champion of the radical, educationally challenged, colonial attire-wearing, gun-toting, hateful rhetoric-spewing, right-wing gang of zealots known as the Tea Party.

During that time however, Teapublican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was planning her coup. Bachmann shared all the same misguided beliefs and encouraged all the same ill-conceived policies as Palin and the Tea Baggers, but she was not in everyone’s face all the time. Moreover, Bachmann was different from Palin because she is one of those “inside the beltway” Washington insiders inasmuch as she is in her third term as a Representative from Minnesota. Indeed, it was Bachmann who attempted to round up all the other like-minded Washington insiders when she formed the congressional Tea Party caucus. Bachmann seemed to be waiting for the moment when Palin slipped, at which point she would seize control of the Tea Baggers.

That moment arose on January 8, 2011 when Representative Gabrielle Giffords and others were shot in Tucson. The shooting immediately focused criticism on Palin for her eerily predictive sniper-sight laden map which identified Ms. Giffords as a target. Inasmuch as Palin was so intrinsically tied to the Tea Party, that movement also came under fire from many Americans. Palin went into hiding after her appearance on “Hannity” in which she unsuccessfully tried to rehabilitate her image. The Tea Party in turn, realized that if it was to maintain any type of credibility it should distance itself from Palin for awhile until things cooled off. Bachmann then seized the opportunity to grab the Tea Party spotlight. Her coup was completed when she (not Palin) gave the official Tea Party response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address on Tuesday evening. As we said yesterday  morning, we may have just witnessed the dawning of the age of Bachmann.

Sarah Palin must have witnessed the same thing also, too. She suddenly appeared on Greta Van Susteren’s program on Fox News (where else) last night and attempted to mend fences with Bachmann in an obvious effort to regain some relevance within the Tea Bagger movement. She defended Bachmann’s ill-advised decision to give a Tea Party response which was separate and apart from the official G.O.P. response to the President’s SOTUA. Many pundits and mainstream Republican congressional leaders believed that the bifurcated responses may have signaled a rift within the party. Indeed, when asked whether he watched Bachmann’s response, House Speaker John Boehner (pronounced “boner”) bluntly replied, “No I did not. I had other obligations”. Palin on the other hand, said, “I love it when anybody goes rogue for the right reasons” and “We believe in competition, even within our own party…and we don’t have just the fighting instincts of a bunch of sheep, like I think a lot of Democrats do.”

Sarah Palin’s efforts may have at least won over one unlikely person. Although she has been one of Palin’s most outspoken critics, Meghan McCain (daughter of John McCain) apparently likes Michele Bachmann even less. In a very backhanded complement to Caribou Barbie, she called Bachmann “a poor man’s Sarah Palin” on MSNBC last evening (see below).

Whether Sarah Palin’s overture of support to Michele Bachmann has won over any Tea Baggers remains to be seen. For all intents and purposes, Bachmann remains the new reigning monarch of the Tea Party. For now.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Foxy Lady song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnkYatAT7NE

FOXY LADIES

(sung to the Jimi Hendrix song “Foxy Lady”)

Foxy
Foxy

These two, they’re a couple of smart-fakers
Foxy
But they’re just a couple of hate-mongers
Foxy

Fox makes them feel at home
Do they have any charm? No!
But they’re on all the time, prime-time
Ooh, Foxy ladies

Foxy
Foxy

Palin, she’s just so spiteful and mean
Ooh, Foxy
She makes us wanna get up and scream
Foxy
And Michele Bachmann now
Has just lost her mind
They’re both just wasting all our precious time
But Fox thinks they’re fine, so fine
Foxy Ladies
They’re so dumb

Foxy
Foxy
Foxy
Foxy

Yeah, just listen to them drone
As they sound they’re alarms, Whoa
Fox says they are so fine, prime-time
Foxy ladies

They’re just dumb ladies
We’d love to forget ya
Foxy ladies
You’re both no good
Yeah, Foxy
You’re both so dumb
Foxy
Sour lemonade
You’re spreadin’ fear. Yikes
Night and day on Foxy
Foxy
Foxy ladies
Foxy ladies

G.O.P. House Members Break 6 Promises On Very First Day In Office

Gentlemen, start your lying. The Republicans have been the majority party in the House of Representative for only one day and already they have broken at least six of the promises they made to the American people through and including last November’s mid-term elections.

CNN‘s Jack Cafferty wrote an enlightening article on this topic yesterday which can be found here. He detailed how the Republicans have already begun backpedaling on their campaign promises as follows:

Promise that all bills will go through a regular committee process. Promise broken. The G.O.P.’s bill to repeal the health care law will not go through one single committee.

Promise to allow minority party amendments and debate on every bill. Promise broken. There will be no amendments and no debate on the health care law repeal bill.

Promise to publish committee attendance lists. Promise broken. The Republicans have announced that no such lists will be kept.

Promise to include a constitutional justification clause in every bill. Promise broken. The Republicans have announced that no such clause will now be mandated.

Promise to roll back non-discretionary spending to 2008 levels before TARP and stimulus (which will save $100 billion in first year alone). Promise broken. The Republicans have now confessed that they cannot come anywhere near shaving $ 100 billion from the budget as they promised in their much ballyhooed “Pledge to America”. And finally,

Promise not to pass any bill that will add to the nation’s deficit. Promise broken. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) released a report yesterday that reveals that a repeal of the health care reform law will add $ 230 billion to the federal debt by 2021.

At this rate, the Republicans are on pace to break at least 2,190 promises in one calendar year. You have to wonder how all those Tea-Baggers feel now after having voted these liars back into a majority position in the House. It is evident that despite all of their assertions to the contrary, the Republicans have not learned one single lesson from all the secrecy and bad policies they legislated when they were last in power. Unfortunately, it is the American people that will suffer the consequences of their deceit. Like John Boehner (pronounced “boner”), soon we will all be crying.

The Democratic National Committee (DNC) has already unveiled a video which calls out the Republicans for their failure to follow through on their unrealistic campaign promises.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter -  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 48

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day, but be careful of those eggs!

BREAKING NEWS: John “I’m a Maverick, I’m not a Maverick” McCain apparently missed the memo that Republican candidates are not to align themselves with failed President George W. Bush during the upcoming election season. After President Obama finally extricated the U.S. from the ill conceived Iraq War,  John McCain said,

“Last American combat troops leave Iraq. I think President George W. Bush deserves some credit for victory.”

To paraphrase Ann Richards at the 1988 Democratic National convention, “Poor John. He can’t help it. He was born with his foot in his mouth!”

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Conservative Republicans Who Actually Have A Clue” features Ted Olson, former George W. Bush solicitor general. He is also the attorney behind the case against California’s gay marriage ban, and husband of a woman who died aboard the plane that crashed into the Pentagon on 9/11. Last week he said that President Obama was right about his analysis of the “Ground Zero Mosque” as a constitutional right protected by the First Amendment.

“I do believe that people of all religions have a right to build edifices, or structures, or places of religious worship or study where the community allows them to do it under zoning laws and that sort of thing, and that we don’t want to turn an act of hate against us by extremists into an act of intolerance for people of religious faith. And I don’t think it should be a political issue. It shouldn’t be a Republican or Democratic issue, either. I believe Gov. Christie from New Jersey said it well, that this should not be in that political, partisan marketplace.”

BREAKING NEWS: Nevada’s Republican candidate for U.S. Senate, Sharron Angle is a crazy, disturbed religious zealot. This member of Sarah Palin’s “Mama Grizzlies” in 1992 campaigned against a high school football team donning black jerseys on the religious grounds that black as a color was thoroughly evil, invoking the supernatural and especially the devil . ‘Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Conservative Supreme Court Finally Gets One Right” stars Orly Taitz. The famed dentist/realtor/lawyer/Birther’s  $20,000 fine for filing frivolous lawsuits attempting to establish that President Barack Obama was not born in the U.S. was just upheld by the Supreme Court. Can we finally put the Birthers out to pasture?

BREAKING NEWS: In case you missed it, Newscorp, the parent company of Fox News donated $ 1 million to the Republican Governors Association. In comparison, it gave $ 48,000.00 to Democrats. Now if that is not “Fair and Balanced”, then what is?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of ” Do Unto Others…” features the ironically named Dove World Church — whose pastor, Terry Jones, has written a book called “Islam Is Of The Devil,” which is also emblazoned on a sign outside the institution. The radically conservative church is planning to host “International Burn A Quran Day” on September 11th in Gainesville, Florida. How is that for tolerance? Gee, I wonder what their position is concerning the planned New York City mosque?

BREAKING NEWS: Americans United For Change has gone on the attack against conservative Republicans John Boehner (pronounced BO-ner), Paul Ryan and moonbat crazy Michele Bachmann. They have released a video ad which exposes the trio’s plan to privatize Social Security. The privatization of Social security is plain stupid on many counts. First of all, how are retired working class individuals supposed to suddenly gain the investment skills required to fund their retirements at a point in their lives when their mental acuity is slowing? Secondly, how do you think most people’s Social Security accounts would have fared as the result of the recent stock crashes? we could go on and on, but let’s watch the ad…

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Did I Just Defend My Enemy?” co-stars Sarah Palin and Laura Schlessinger. Last week Sarah Palin defended the now disgraced and unemployed Dr. Laura after the radio host was forced to abandon her show as the result of broadcasting the “n-word” 11 times in 5 minutes. Palin lauded Schlessinger and applauded her conduct. But did the former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska know that Dr. Laura said this about her in 2008?

“I’m stunned — couldn’t the Republican Party find one competent female with adult children to run for Vice President with McCain? I realize his advisers probably didn’t want a “mature” woman, as the Democrats keep harping on his age. But really, what kind of role model is a woman whose fifth child was recently born with a serious issue, Down syndrome, and then goes back to the job of governor within days of the birth?”

Ouch! That should have left a mark. I guess Palin is just too stupid to conduct any research.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Big Shot song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFvlF2CirP0&feature=related

BIG SHOT

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Big Shot”)

Well, you went off campaigning with ol’ John McCain
With your new G.O.P. purchased clothes
You had that beehive hairstyle on your head
And high heels for your toes
Ooh,, and when you woke up in the mornin’
With your bub-ble burst
And tears pouring out of your eyes
We know “Thanks But No Thanks” was just
Another one of your lies

Because you had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had to open up your mouth
You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
Now your smile’s become a pout
You talked a lot of Reverend Wright
But all you did was scream and shout
You showed us that you’re way too uptight
You tried to be a big shot that night (Ooh oh)

And no one was impressed with your wolf hide dress
Just because you shot the wolves from a plane
And nobody could have really cared less
That you can see the Ukraine
But now you just don’t remember
The dumb things you said
And I’m damn sure you don’t want to know
I’ll give you one hint, Barbie
I think you got plumbed by Joe!

Yes, yes, you had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had the SarahPac girls wowed
Your nose was running pig-snot, oh ya
Hockey mom without a doubt
Your interviews were such a sad sight
You’re so much fun to be around
You had to have the front page, bold type
Upstaging McCain most every night, (Ooh oh)

Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa who-oo-oo-oo-ah,
Oh Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa.

Well, it’s no big sin to stick your two cents in
If you’re talking to someone that’s grown
But you’re attacking Levi
Because he was on the Tyra Banks Show
No, no, no, no, no, no

You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had to badmouth that young boy
You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
Just because you were annoyed
You had to have the last word, that’s right
You know what everything’s about
But still we know that Levi spent nights
Sleeping at your house within your sight, Oh oh

Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa
Big shot…Big shot… Big shot…Mmmm…Big shot…Whoa whoa
Big shot…

Monday Night Music Byte (McCartney Blasts Bush)

McCartney at historic Fenway Park, Boston 2009.

Tonight’s Music Byte will dispense with the usual historical narrative of the featured artist. Sir Paul McCartney needs no introduction. Over here at the Blast-Off however, we like him even more this week.

CNN reports, President Obama on Wednesday awarded McCartney the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song – a lifetime achievement award given by the Library of Congress. Upon receiving the award, McCartney deadpanned, “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.” Don’t you just love it? Even an English (albeit of Irish descent) musician recognized George W. Bush’s lack of eloquence and was not afraid to comment about it on American soil.

One person unfortunately was not amused. House Minority Leader John Boehner (pronounced, “Boner”) is demanding an apology from the music legend. Boehner said,

I hope he’ll apologize to the American people for his conduct which demeaned him, the White House and President Obama.

Actually Mr. Boehner, the remark did not demean McCartney, the White House and President Obama. It only demeaned George W. Bush. So, take that!

Please enjoy tonight’s video clip. By the way, the drummer is from Arlington, MA.


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