Category Archives: Bill O’Reilly

Bill O’Reilly’s Economic Plan: Tax The Poor!

Fox News is getting desperate to increase its percentage of brain-dead audience above its already astronomical 90% rating. If such were not the case, the Faux News station would not be falling over itself in a race to have its hosts say the most stupid things they can think of.

Case in point. On Thursday, Bill O’Reilly actually recognized that the tax structure is unfair. Say what? Bill O’Reilly realizes that the rich (oops, I mean job creators) must begin to pay their fair share of taxes in our nation’s efforts to reduce the deficit and add revenue? Umm, not so fast. Bill O’Reilly believes that the poor should start paying taxes. I’m not kidding, he mentioned that about 47% of Americans do not pay a federal income tax. Of course he failed to mention that they do not pay the tax because they have very little income and are destitute.

O’Reilly’s solution? A “consumption tax” which will force the poor to pay their “fair share” of taxes. O’Reilly said,

“The reason I want the consumption tax is because I pointed out that almost half, HALF (of) American workers don’t pay any federal income tax. With a consumption tax, everybody would chip in. That seems to be kind of fair. Pay your fair share.”

Let’s go to the film:

This “consumption” tax however would shift the tax burden to the poor and away from the rich (oops, there I’ve done it again, I mean job creators) because it is a regressive tax. Sales taxes are regressive because the poor spend almost all of their income on consumer goods and necessities while the rich (darn it, I mean job creators) save most of their income. So, O’Reilly would like to punish the poor and further contribute to the disparity of wealth in America. Some plan.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Sarah Palin: Wiil She Or Won’t She?

The ever unpredictable Sarah Palin is keeping the pundits guessing again. This time the question is: “Will she or won’t she run for President?” Last night she refused to even give her Fox News co-conspirator Bill O’Reilly the inside scoop. While appearing on “The O’Reilly Factor”, she only said that her decision as to whether she will run is still “months away”. Over at MSNBC however, host Lawrence O’Donnell has already declared that Palin will not run. He said that she is too beholden to her million dollar salary at Fox to give it up for a certain doomed presidential run. As you can see, the pundits’ opinions as to whether the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska are like sphincters. You know, everybody has one!

Nevertheless, we were treated to a couple of more in-depth and/or unique takes on Sarah Palin this week. The first was in a Boston Globe editorial by Scott Lehigh on Friday, titled “2012: Yes, Maybe and Unelectable”. Lehigh’s contention is that if “you start with the assumption that a candidate must have a plausible path to both the nomination and the presidency, the prospects of the might-be candidates fall into three categories: Believable, conceivable, and unachievable.” He places Sarah Palin in the category of “unachievable”.  Lehigh succinctly states that she was ,

“So far over her head in 2008 that some of John McCain’s own advisers fretted at the prospect of having her a septuagenarian heartbeat away from the presidency, Palin has hardly allayed doubts about herself since. If the GOP really wants a lighter-than-air disaster, why not just nominate the Hindenburg?”

By the way, Lehigh also places Newt Gingrich, Haley Barbour , Rick Santorum, Ron Paul and moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann in the unachievable categaory. As for his insightful take on the rest of the GOP contenders and pretenders, please read his great editorial here.

Slate.com is also offering an innovative prognostication tool known as the “Palin Meter”. This device measures the percentage probability that Sarah Palin will run for the Presidency on a daily basis. For instance, as of March 3rd, Slate states that there is a 45% chance that she will run and that is 6% lower than the previous day. Slate describes the drop as resulting from Fox News‘ failure to suspend Palin as they did Gingrich and Santorum (who the network believes will both be running). Additionally, they predict that all of Palin’s recent poor polling may dissuade her. On the up-side however, Slate references Palin’s recent rash of tweeting and the fact that Dana Millbank’s “Palin-Free Month” has now ended. The website states, “Palin obviously wouldn’t have wanted to drop any big news without him along for the ride.”

Although we must all continue to speculate on a Palin candidacy, one thing is certain. Progressive bloggers everywhere are praying that Sarah Palin runs for President. The laughs will be off the charts if she is involved in any primary debates.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oL0YSYz4eo

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

The Alternative Universe Known As Fox News

Oh, where to begin?  If you are brave enough to ever tune into the Teapublican propaganda network known as Fox News, you will quickly realize that it is like visiting a parallel universe. Sort of a mirror image of the world we live in but where most things like logic, history and facts are diametrically opposite from those in our reality. You know, like when you gaze into the looking glass and notice that your left hand appears to be on the right and your hair is parted on the other side of your head? That is the world of the Fox News host and guests.

As evidence of this alternative reality, let’s take a gander at some of the things that happened in just the last week or so in the world of Fox. There was the absolute meltdown by Bill O’Reilly when milquetoast liberal Alan Colmes refused to sit idle when O’Reilly and co-host Monica Crowley (who, by the way, is Colmes sister-in-law) unequivocally said that members of the far left in this country are anti-American. The context of the discussion was criticism by O’Reilly and Crowley of former ABC News anchor Sam Donaldson when he praised Al Jazeera for continuing to cover the Egyptian uprising. Noting that Egypt had shut down Al Jazeera, Colmes said to O’Reilly and Crowley, “I would think a populist like you would support Al Jazeera and freedom of the press… I would think that as a journalist, you would take the side of Al Jazeera.” O’Reilly countered that his beef with Al Jazeera was its lack of balance, that there was never anyone on to counter its anti-American message. Oh, you can just taste the irony of a Fox host complaining about the imbalance of coverage on a news network. The next time that Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity has a credible Democratic guest on their programs to counter their criticisms of Barack Obama or Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid will be the very first time. The best part of the program was when Colmes asked both O’Reilly and Crowley to specifically name a person on the far left who is anti-American and neither could or was willing to do so. Let’s go to the tape.

So let’s get this straight, O’Reilly and Crowley do not like Al Jazeera because it spreads propaganda and is not “fair and balanced”. Hmmm.

Next up, we have the aforementioned Glenn Beck. We really shouldn’t expect much sense from Beck in that his college education consisted of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. This week Beck too chimed in on the Egyptian uprising and boy oh boy did he come up with the conspiracy theory to beat all conspiracy theories. In short, he stated that the long-oppressed Egyptian people are in the streets protesting an autocratic leader because of a plan written in The Coming Insurrection, which is an obscure book that French police believe was written by a member of a small group of anarchists. He then claims that the result of the Egyptian protest will be….Oh, let’s just read it in Beck’s own words…

I believe that I can make a case in the end that there are three powers that you will see really emerge. One, a Muslim caliphate that controls the Mideast and parts of Europe. Two, China, that will control Asia, the southern half of Africa, part of the Middle East, Australia, maybe New Zealand, and God only knows what else. And Russia, which will control all of the old former Soviet Union bloc, plus maybe the Netherlands. I’m not really sure. But their strong arm is coming. That leaves us and South America. What happens to us?

These are nothing other than the crazed rantings of a delusional person. Thus, they are the perfect stuff to broadcast on Fox News. Is it any wonder that Glenn Beck has lost virtually all of his sponsors and at least a third of his audience in the last year?

Shall we move on to Sean Hannity? His take on the certain outcome of the Egyptian uprising is that there cannot be a resultant democracy. In fact he said that the only popular uprising he knows of which has ever resulted in a democracy was in Iraq. Now putting aside for the moment the fact that there was no “popular uprising” in Iraq and that actually the United States invaded Iraq and toppled its government, Hannity is still an imbecile when it comes to historical uprisings. Indeed, it took comedian Stephen Colbert to remind him of the popular uprisings in the Czech Republic, India, France, Poland, East Germany and THE UNITED STATES, all of which resulted in democracies.

Over at Fox News they certainly have a strange crew that has been drinking some strange brew. I bet you Rocketeers can guess where this one is going!

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Fox News: It’s All Fun And Games Until Somebody Gets Killed

The next time you hear some Fox News host or commentator deny that the network engages in hate-speech and calls to violence, or better yet, proclaims that it is the left that primarily fosters an environment of hatred and violence, please send the network a copy of the following article. It originally appeared in a November 10, 2010 piece from Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting (FAIR) and was republished on Monday by Truth-Out.org.

FOX NEWS: THE NO. I NAME IN MURDER FANTASIES

Bill O’Reilly’s recent “joke” about decapitating Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank was only the latest example of a demented Fox News culture that permits on-air personalities to fantasize about assassination and other forms of violence against those deemed enemies of the station, its personalities or their worldview.

During the cable channel’s 2008 election coverage, in what she later called an attempt at humor, Fox News contributor Liz Trotta linked Osama bin Laden to Barack Obama as people who both should be assassinated:

And now we have what some are reading as a suggestion that somebody knock off Osama, uh Obama. Well, both, if we could.

A week before Trotta’s “joke,” Republican primary candidate Mike Huckabee was apologizing for his own Obama assassination quip. Addressing a gathering of the National Rifle Association, Huckabee joked that a loud thud heard backstage during his address was Barack Obama diving to the floor to avoid gun shots. Months later, Huckabee was given his own Fox News show.

With its biggest new star, Glenn Beck, Fox News hired a host well-known for on-air death fantasies–for instance, chattering about killing filmmaker Michael Moore with his bare hands and hoping out loud that Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D.-Ohio) would burn to death. In a Fox News skit in September 2009, Beck portrayed himself poisoning Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

It’s a culture that apparently filters down to Fox News viewers and supporters. Over the years Fox Nation, the Fox News “owned and operated” fan website, has regularly featured comments expressing the desire to see Barack Obama’s assassinated.

Yesterday News Hounds (11/8/10) published a collection of such quotes, some of which can still be read at on the Fox site. Fox Nation purports to be self-policing, to depend on readers to report inappropriate and irresponsible remarks for removal. Apparently presidential assassination fantasies fall short of Fox Nation‘s standards for inappropriate or irresponsible commentary.

Recent examples of these assassination fantasies on Fox Nation include comments calling for President Obama to “get what Kennedy got,” for the CIA to “take this pres down” and a warning to the president that the Koran “ain’t thick enough to stop a .308 round.”

There is some evidence that Fox‘s murder fantasy culture has already helped to spark violent action. Reporting for Media Matters, journalist John Hamilton tells the story of Byron Williams, a Beck devotee who engaged in a shootout that injured two California Highway Patrol officers in July. After his apprehension, Williams told police he’d intended to travel Oakland California to kill people at the offices of the Tides Foundation and the ACLU.

In a jailhouse interview in which he described the right-wing media sources that informed his views, Williams returned again and again to Glenn Beck:

I would have never started watching Fox News if it wasn’t for the fact that Beck was on there. And it was the things that he did, it was the things he exposed that blew my mind.

Among the things Beck did, according to Hamilton, was attack the Tides Foundation in 29 separate Fox News shows in the 18 months leading up to Williams’ foiled mission to Oakland.

Moreover, as the ADL reports, Pittsburgh’s Richard Poplawski was so inspired by Beck’s anti-government conspiracy theories, he reposted to a neo-Nazi website tape of Beck suggesting the government was building concentration camps for dissidents–before he was arrested after a shootout with police that left three officers dead.

If this all wasn’t so deadly serious it would be seriously funny, because O’Reilly has spent years accusing liberal and progressive websites of fomenting hate speech. O’Reilly’s crusade largely targets the comment and open forum sections of such websites, highlighting comments that generally pale in comparison to those broadcast on Fox and posted on Fox Nation. To add to the irony, when O’Reilly is called out for failing to make distinctions between the editorial content and comment sections of these websites, he argues that the groups are responsible for everything on their websites:

Open forum is bull…. You can regulate what’s on your website.

When it comes to hypocrisy and Fox News, you really can’t make this stuff up.

The hostility behind O’Reilly’s creepy Milbank beheading joke was on display when the host appeared to make a veiled threat toward Milbank’s boss in an appearance on another Fox show. Apparently angered that Washington Post editorial page editor Fred Hiatt permitted Milbank to publish columns critical of Fox News, O’Reilly had Fox host Megyn Kelly put a picture of Hiatt up on the screen, and told her audience:

This is the editor, Milbank’s editor, Fred Hiatt. And Fred won’t do anything about Milbank lying in his column. I just want everybody in America to know what the Washington Post has come to. All right, you can take Fred’s picture off. Fred, have a nice weekend, buddy.

(Later in the same appearance, O’Reilly suggested that the host join him in physically assaulting Milbank: “I think you and I should go and beat him up.”)

O’Reilly’s veiled threat toward Hiatt recalls one made in a recent interview with an Australian paper by Fox boss Rupert Murdoch (Australian Financial Review, 11/5/10):

People love Fox News…. We said to the cable operators when we put the price up, we said, do you want a monument to yourself….  Cancel us, you might get your house burnt down.

Perhaps the fish does rot from the head.

SPECIAL NOTICE: Big blizzard up here in Boston. We will continue to update Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off so long as the electricity holds out.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which was inspired by Fox News.

Let ‘Em In song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r0ANbSVa9k

LET FOX IN

(sung to the Paul McCartney and Wings song “Let ‘Em In”)

Someone’s sniveling on the tube
Somebody’s startin’ to yell
Someone’s sportin’ new boobs
Somebody reeks of hair gel

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah

Someone’s not “fair and balanced”
Somebody’s missing brain cells
Someone’s psyche is imbalanced
Somebody’s wearing pastels

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Yeah ,yeah, yeah, let Fox in

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Van Susteren
Change the channel and let Fox in
Yeah

(musical interlude)

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Van Susteren
Change the channel and let Fox in
Oh,yeah

Someone’s talking to Newt Gingrich
Somebody’s starting to shout
Someone called Hillary a bitch
Somebody’s starting to pout

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah ,yeah, let Fox in, let ‘em in now

Doo doo doo doo da doo doo
Doo doo doo da doo da

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Van Susteren
Change the channel and let Fox in
Oh,yeah

Someone’s sniveling on the tube
Somebody’s startin’ to yell
Someone’s sportin’ new boobs
Somebody reeks of hair gel

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah , yeah , yeah ,yeah ,yeah

Christine O’Donnell Is Not A Foxy Lady

What could have been.

This may be the end of the line. Sad but true. This may be the final Lynnrockets post about Christine O’Donnell. The “Witchy Woman” was, without doubt, the most hilarious Teapublican crackpot to burst on the scene since Sarah Palin. Indeed, she out-Palined Sarah Palin. Her non-masturbatory brand of satan-worshiping, evolution-denying witchcraft easily trumped Palin’s copyright protected re-loaded, death-panel inspired Mama-Grizzlies. Heck, Christine O’Donnell was Sarah Palin on steroids.

Unfortunately (only for the laughs, mind you), Christine O’Donnell lost her bid for a Delaware Senate seat. She was crushed by Democrat Chris Coons and with her defeat, we were denied our daily dose of O’Donnell insanity. To lose our amusement so abruptly was as painful as a heroin addict’s anguish from going cold turkey. Oh, the humanity!

Suddenly however, there was a glimmer of hope. The rumor mill was churning and there was word that Fox News might come to the rescue. Christine O’Donnell might be given a spot on “Fox and Friends” or a regular guest host position on Glenn Beck’s comedy show or Bill O’Reilly’s tabloid news program. It all made sense. O’Donnell had previously announced that she had Sean Hannity “in her pocket”. She is clearly as dumb or dumber than the other Fox talking heads. Best of all, Sarah Palin was already on-board with Fox. it would have been a true “Mother Grizzly and Child Reunion” (Hey, there might be song parody in that one).

Alas, our hopes have been dashed. Fox News has reported that it “has no plans to hire her.” To paraphrase President Richard Nixon, “We won’t have Christine O’Donnell to kick around anymore”. Christine O’Donnell, we hardly knew ye.

Excuse me. What’s that? Hold on loyal readers, some new information is coming in through my tinfoil hat…

BREAKING NEWS: The rumors of Christine O’Donnell’s premature demise might have been exaggerated. The non-self-flagellating O’Donnell appeared on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on Wednesday and said she’s fielding plenty of job offers. She said they range from “Anything from a book deal to a reality show.” She went on to explain, “I am not necessarily interested in a reality show…I would like to do something like a watchdog-type show.”

Oh, happy day! It looks like we may have the opportunity to have a lot more fun at Christine O’Donnell’s expense after all.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Witchcraft song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIZIBm2QGaM

WITCHCRAFT II

(sung to Frank Sinatra’s song “Witchcraft”)

This “Mama Grizzly” bear
That hails from Delaware
Christine O’Donnell snared
By witchcraft

And she’s got no defense for it
The heat is too intense for it
Palin has really stepped in it too

Christine’s witchcraft, wicked witchcraft
And she knows we know, it’s strictly taboo

Will this implode the Tea Party?
Confirming her insanity
Bringing down Palin and Romney too?

O’Donnell’s dug her ditch
Gay-baiting hate-fueled bitch
This tax evading witch is through

(masturbation break)

Christine’s witchcraft, her crazy witchcraft
Now we know that she’s been drinking the brew

Lied about her college degree
Non-masturbating prodigy
Renouncing Christianity too

Bill Maher is now the snitch
Who threw the breaking pitch
Now we can bid this witch adieu!

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 56

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Jesse Ventura put Fox News in a death grip this week. On Thursday, the former Minnesota governor was a guest on the Joy Behar Show when he said this,

“He’s (Bill O’Reilly) a spineless puke. The whole Fox won’t have me on. The nighttime guys. I call them the three stooges, and we all know which one’s Curly. If Glenn Beck isn’t Curly Howard’s kid*…I view him and Hannity and them as the Three Stooges, because if they can’t intimidate you, they won’t have you on”

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Fox News, two Republican insiders revealed this week that moonbat-crazy Teapublican Christine O’Donnell told them, “I’ve got Sean Hannity in my back pocket, and I can go on his show and raise money by attacking you guys.” Jeesh, talk about stating the obvious!

BREAKING NEWS: Motherjones.com reports that It’s fairly common for conservative political candidates to support eliminating the federal Department of Education. But in California, Tea Party darling and congressional candidate David Harmer has gone further. He’s advocated eliminating public schools entirely and returning education to “the way things worked through the first century of American nationhood.” You know, back when educational opportunities for poor people, African-Americans, women, the disabled, and others were, to say the least, extremely limited. Just another Tea-Bagging crackpot.

THIS JUST IN: A sure sign that aliens have invaded earth and adversely affected the minds of countless Americans is that whack-job Teapublican Michele Bachmann will report $5.4 million in 3rd quarter fundraising later this week, a figure that smashes records in Minnesota and appears to set a new national mark as well for Congressional candidates. Don’t go into the light!

BREAKING NEWS: A great limerick found on Madkane.com.

Open Limerick To The Anti-Government Crowd
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You folks who cry out for less gov
Have lots of gov programs you love:
You think Medicare’s great
And you’d surely berate
Any pol who gave SS a shove.

You hate taxes for highways and schools,
But you don’t want your kids taught by fools.
And you’re quick to unload
When your bridges corrode.
Please wake up — don’t be Tea Party tools.

THIS JUST IN: It is nearly Halloween and that means scary freaks and ghouls are in season. Need proof? Just watch Fox NewsGretchen Carlson and Laura Ingraham.

BREAKING NEWS: Not yet convinced that Teapublican Rand Paul is crazy? Watch this and then vote for Jack Conway.

THIS JUST IN: President Barack Obama came to Boston yesterday to raise funds for Democratic candidates and to stump for Massachusetts Governor, Deval Patrick. The best line of the event however was delivered by Patrick when he said, “Three years ago we worked hard to change the guard. Now we have to work hard to guard the change.”

GO PACKERS!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today;s topical song parody.

Every Kind Of People song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tEH_YYqEH0&feature=player_embedded

EVERY KIND OF PEOPLE

(sung to the Robert Palmer version of the song “Every Kind Of People”)

The far right always competes
They all lie and then misspeak
Try to keep their jobs
Fighting to land a spot on Fox

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

We’re not sure Glenn Beck can read
Is Ann Coulter a he or is it a she?
O’Reilly seems so damn uptight
Limbaugh cannot keep a wife

Though they profit by deceit
Honest men know that
Fox will suffer defeat
If you’re anything but white
Fox News will insult you with delight

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

(musical interlude)

You know that hate’s their only goal
They learned that long ago from Bob Dole
Hey, and they are all insane
Looking to always pass the blame

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
It takes every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout
It takes very kind of people


Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 52

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: You have got to love Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell (D). He has canceled a $125,000 contract with a consulting firm that sent a bulletin to the state’s Office of Homeland Security in which it described opponents of natural gas drilling as “environmental extremists” and suggested they were a threat to the state. Rendell told reporters in a news conference on Tuesday (Sept. 15) that Pennsylvania would cancel its deal with the firm, the Institute of Terrorism Response and Research, which also identified animal rights demonstrations and anti-war events as potential security threats to the state. Good for you Ed! No use wasting the taxpayers’ money on that group of conservative thugs.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republican Gifts To Democrats” features Christine O’Donnell. She is the Tea Party/Sarah Palin endorsed anti-masturbation, gay bashing, college degree feigning, debt evading Republican candidate for a Delaware Senate seat. As the result of an influx of out of state Tea-Bagger money and the highly publicized Palin endorsement, O’Donnell defeated the party backed Mike Castle. As the result of her primary win however, the Democratic Party candidate Chris Coons, now leads by double digits in a race that was a Republican lock had Castle won. Thanks guys!

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of Christine O’Donnell and Sarah Palin, the “Queen of Quit” just gave some new advise to the “Sexless Sweetheart”. Sarah Palin appeared on the O’Reilly Factor Wednesday night and ordered O’Donnell to follow the Palin game-plan of refusing to submit to un-screened interviews and to only “speak through FOX News and let the Independents who are tuning in to you, let them know what it is that she stands for, the principles behind her positions.” As we always say, there is nothing like a friendly uninformed audience to lull you into thinking you have no detractors.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of  “Hate is Great” features Glenn Beck. Think Progress reports, that ever “[s]ince First Lady Michelle Obama unveiled her Let’s Move! program to fight obesity, conservatives have portrayed the effort as a government assault on personal freedoms and liberties.Glenn Beck joined the act, criticizing Michelle Obama for encouraging restaurants to “offer healthier versions of the foods that we all love.” He also joked that fat people should die:”

BECK: When I heard this I thought, get your damn hands off my fries, lady. If I want to be a fat fat fatty and shovel French Fries all day long, that is my choice. But oh oh, not so fast anymore. Because now we have the new fact, whether you like it or not, we have government health care now. … You know those fat people sitting on their couches? And I mean really fat. I don’t mean not like me. I mean the people who’s skin grows into the couch. … I say let them die. I say punish the person who’s been bringing them the milk shakes that allowed them to eat and not get up off the couch. Am I too harsh?

No Glenn, you are simply clinically insane.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young” co-stars Rush “To Judgment” Limbaugh and Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove. TPM Muckraker reports that we can now “[a]dd Rush Limbaugh to the list of prominent conservatives tearing into Karl Rove’s hide.” Rove, you may remember, went public last week with his criticism of the aforementioned Chritine O’Donnell. He said “I’ve met her. I wasn’t frankly impressed by her abilities as a candidate.” He also said, “One thing that O’Donnell is now going to have to answer in the general election that she didn’t in the primary is her own checkered background.” And Rove followed that up with, “There were a lot of nutty things she has been saying that don’t add up. Why did she mislead voters about her college education? How come it took nearly two decades to pay her college bills so she could get her college degree? How did she make a living?”

Rove was quickly attacked “by some right-wingers for those comments. O’Donnell whacked him back in a televised interview. And then Rove responded to O’Donnell and his right-wing critics, daring them to ‘prove me wrong’. Then Palin slammed Rove. Now it’s Limbaugh’s turn.”
“If 51 seats was really the objective — if getting the majority is really that important, then let’s go balls to the wall for Christine O’Donnell!” Limbaugh screamed on his radio show today after playing a clip of Rove’s already infamous anti-O’Donnell interview.” Muckraker reports, “Rush seemed in danger of having an aneurysm at the idea that Rove would do something as heretical as point out that O’Donnell has more than a few very serious character flaws and — as the polls show — is a serious underdog against her Democratic opponent in November, in a race that Republicans had once thought was theirs for the taking.”
As we here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off always say, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” So let’s go to the tape. Limbaugh really flips out at about the 3:20 mark so stay tuned…

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Puff The Magic Dragon song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wik2uc69WbU&feature=related

RUSH THE TRAGIC MAGGOT

(sung to the Peter, Paul and Mary song “Puff The Magic Dragon”)

Rush the tragic maggot lives by the sea
Was born in 1951 in a state called Missouri
Limbaugh’s education went down in a flush
He made it two semesters and his family kept it hush, oh

Rush the tragic maggot had an injury
It was a pilonidal cyst in a place he could not see
Rush the magic maggot petitioned his country
Then they deemed him too unfit for the military

Therefore he did not travel off to the Ho Chi Minh Trail
Limbaugh the rabid chickenhawk was deemed to be too frail
So he became a disc jockey and pursued his fame
Alas he was a failure as his music taste was lame, oh

Rush the tragic maggot found ABC
And began his talk radio stint shilling for the G.O.P.
Rush the tragic maggot tried football on Monday
But when he showed his racist trait they canned his ass hastily

The maggot talks forever and his voice sure annoys
Calls his listeners “ditto heads” while he’s making noise
Rush thinks that he matters and is gen’rally adored
Poor Rush does not realize he’s like a mouse that roars

The mike that he speaks into bigger, than his brain
His brain-dead thoughtless audience is his gravy train
“Operation Chaos” failed in a big way
Despite all Rush’s efforts the Dems won running away, oh

Rush the tragic maggot lives happily
He doctor shops his days away and frequents pharmacies
Rush the tragic maggot loves his Oxy-C
And when he’s feeling a bit down, there’s the blue pill known as “V”

Sean Hannity: A Faux News Calamity

Sean Hannity has lost a lot of clout over at Faux News during the last year or so. Glenn “Crying Eyes” Beck has vaulted to the top of the propaganda network’s pecking order by means of his publicly televised long-running nervous breakdown. Hey, they may be gruesome, but nobody can look away from a train wreck, right? Let’s take a little gander:

Bill “Felafel Thing” O’Reilly has also jumped ahead of Hannity by means of his new approach. O’Reilly is now the only Fox News toady that will actually ask a tough question or challenge Sarah Palin’s ridiculously ignorant assertions. Here is an example:

So where does this leave former Fox golden boy, Sean Hannity? The brainless idiot schtick belongs to Beck. The “go against the Fox News grain” schtick now belongs to O’Reilly. Consequently, Hannity is left with the unenviable role of attempting to appear serious and interested while providing a platform for recently publicly embarrassed conservatives to rehabilitate their damaged images without having to face a tough question.

One recent example of this occurred last week when his guest was Arizona Governor Jan “Beheadings” Brewer. She had just been publicly humiliated during a televised debate during which not only did she refuse to admit that there were no beheadings in her state, but when challenged on the topic, she declared that she would not participate in any future debates. In short, Brewer announced that she was taking her ball and going home. She then suddenly appeared on Hannity’s show a few days later where he failed to mention the debate at all and instead, introduced Brewer as, “the woman who refuses to back down.” Wait a second, didn’t she just back down from previously scheduled debates? Hannity then allowed Brewer to assert without challenge that “the Federal Government is against Arizona and they’re going against everybody because they just don’t want to do their jobs”. Every other credible news source reported on Brewer’s debate performance and her stance on the mythical beheadings, yet Hannity never touched those subjects.

Sean Hannity does share at least one trait with all other Fox News hosts. He can be counted on to do very little research and then to misquote, misconstrue and take all sorts of President Obama’s words out of context. Case in point:  Newshounds reports that on Wednesday night’s show, Hannity said, “Now the president did have a rare moment of honesty during his speech and I hope voters around the country are watching this.” He played a clip of Obama saying, “Taxes are scheduled to go up substantially next year. For everybody.” Hannity then sneered, “I know the anointed one will make sure that that happens.”

Of course the quote was taken entirely out of context. Hannity did not tell his viewers that Obama was talking about how Republicans scheduled that tax increase and how he wants to avoid it for the middle class. Here is the excerpt from that portion of Obama’s speech in its entirety:

I’ll give you one final example of the differences between us and the Republicans, and that’s on the issue of tax cuts. Under the tax plan passed by the last administration, taxes are scheduled to go up substantially next year — for everybody. By the way, this was by design. When they passed these tax cuts in 2001 and 2003, they didn’t want everybody to know what it would do to our deficit, so they pretended like they were going to end, even though now they say they don’t. Now, I believe we ought to make the tax cuts for the middle class permanent. (Applause.) For the middle class, permanent. These families are the ones who saw their wages and incomes flat-line over the last decade -– you deserve a break.

This is just another example of why those people that seek their news from Sean Hannity and all the other Fox News hosts are so dreadfully uninformed. In the realm of news coverage, Sean Hannity is a disastrous calamity.

On a personal front. Sean Hannity is also an uneducated lying chicken-hawk. You might remember that the NYU dropout (that’s correct, Hannity has no college degree ala Limbaugh and Beck) insisted that “water-boarding” was not torture and that he could withstand the ordeal. Indeed, Hannity offered to undergo the procedure for charity. However, when MSNBC‘s Keith Olbermann agreed to donate $ 1,000.00 for every second that Hannity could endure the process, Sean put his tail between his legs, ran away and buried his very large head in the sand. He was too chicken to accept the challenge and in so doing, he also cost a worthy charity some much needed money. You are a girlie-man, Sean Hannity.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Saturday In The Park song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5bhBSb92LY

HANNITY IN THE DARK

(sung to the Chicago song “Saturday In The Park”)

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
Keeps us barfing, keeps us laughing
The man is a lame-brain
G.O.P. talking points
Ixnay on the truthiness
Do you dig it? (no, we don’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Sean Hannity

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
His tough talking, while he’s smiling
Scared of waterboarding
Chicken-hawk with gall
Olbermann exposed the fool
Can you dig it? (yes, we can)
And Alan Colmes was such a nice guy
Yesterday

Slow thinking dropout without a college degree
A bought man just can shill for the G.O.P.
Fox News execs know they’re his boss
Know they’re his boss (oh, yeah, yeah)

In a daze, in the dark
Every day’s a day full of lies
In a haze, off the mark
He’s just like Limbaugh in disguise
Embellishing and misleading
An abomination
Like the Berlin Wall
An idiot, pitching a fit
Can you dig it? (no, we can’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Hannity

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 47

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day.

BREAKING NEWS: Mediaputz.com says, “It’s getting so competitive among the vast army of right wing media shills that it’s becoming increasingly hard to get attention as flavors of the month come and go.  Right now Glenn Beck is the corporate media darling, so you don’t hear much from Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham, for in stance, or Michelle Malkin. Even Bill O’Reilly has become more of a right wing “senior statesman” as compared to the schizophrenic, psychotic, demagogic performance artist known as Beck.

So it must be hard for a B-team winger, such as Laura Schlessinger, to get attention and keep her radio show ratings up.  Maybe that explains why she said what is known as the “n-word” 11 times in 5 minutes to a black caller who was inquiring how to handle racial slights from relatives and friends of her husband, who is white.  Basically, Schlessinger told the caller to get a thicker skin and unleashed a barrage of the “N” word to firmly establish her point and garner a lot of publicity, which she did.  It was the right wing media outrage of the day as far as corporate mainstream media news coverage and the blogosphere.  Mission accomplished, Laura!” Let’s listen to the tape, shall we?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Numbers Do Not Lie” co-stars both Barack Obama and George W. Bush. The next time some crazy conservative tells you that Barack Obama vacations too frequently, repeat these facts. Dur­ing his first year in office, Barack Obama took 26 vaca­tion days. Dur­ing their first years in office, George W. Bush took 69, Bill Clin­ton 21, George H.W. Bush 40, Ronald Rea­gan 42 and Jimmy Carter 21. Trips to Camp David, which were not included as vaca­tion days, were: Obama 27 days, George W. Bush, 78 days.

BREAKING NEWS: Remember Republican Vice President Dan “Potatoe” Quayle? If you do not, here is a little refresher video.

Well, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Mr. Potatoe-Head’s son, Ben Quayle is a Republican congressional candidate in Arizona. In a televised campaign ad, the younger Quayle recently said that Barack Obama is “the worst President in history”. Those are awfully strong words coming from the little spud that claims he is an outsider and will be “a new generation in Washington” when the facts are that he has held three jobs in four years, posed for pictures in campaign literature with children who were not his and grew up in Washington with a famous father, former Vice President Dan Quayle, whose influential friends have given generously to the younger Quayle’s campaign. Oh, we almost forgot, he also lied about the fact that he had once been a contributing writer for Dirty Scottsdale, a raunchy, sex-themed website that covered the club scene in his adopted hometown before morphing into the national gossip site TheDirty.com.

But perhaps DNC spokesman Brad Woodhouse sized up the young Quayle best when he said,
The son of the worst vice president ever may think he has some wisdom on the job performance of political leaders, but if he thinks a president whose actions have saved the country from a second Great Depression, reformed a broken health care system and protected consumers from the risk and greed of Wall Street merits such mention, his analysis is only slightly less ridiculous than his candidacy for public office is.

Ouch! Take that, Ben “Spuds” Quayle!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Why Do People Insist That Conservatives Are Violent” features shock jock Hal Turner. He was convicted on Friday of threatening to kill three federal judges in Chicago, Illinois, in retaliation for a ruling they made that upheld handgun bans, government officials said. In 2009 Turner posted the following on his blog, “Let me be the first to say this plainly: These judges deserve to be killed.” The post included photographs of the judges, their phone numbers, addresses and a map of the building where they work. Just another example of the deranged and dangerous mindset of the conservative movement.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which is a version of the Tea Party National Anthem.

Twist And Shout song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUrOMB-iBLk&feature=related

BITCH AND SHOUT

(sung to The Beatles version of the song “Twist And Shout”)

Well, make it up, ladies, now (make it up, ladies)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, ladies, now (come on ladies)
Know what you’re talkin’ about (talking about)

Start spreadin’ some doubt, honey (spreadin’ some doubt)
Wear your pillowcase hood (pointy hood)
You got the bullshit flowin’ now (bullshit flowin’)
And you’re sportin’ some wood (didn’t know you could)

Just make it up, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, baby, now (come on baby)
You got to start spreadin’ doubt (start spreading doubt)

Just show your twisted little world (shit little world)
Hold up your twisted sign (twisted sign)
Go on up, bitch a little closer, now (bitch a little closer)
And just hold that party line (hold that party line)

Ah
Ahh
Ahhh
Ahhhh
Ahhhhh

Yeah, you’re frothing like rabies, now (frothing like rabies)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, baby, now (come on baby)
Jumping and screeching out loud (screaming out loud)

Just show your twisted little world (shit little world)
Hold up your twisted sign (twisted sign)
Go on up, bitch a little closer, now (bitch a little closer)
And just hold that party line (hold that party line)

Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)

Ah
Ahh
Ahhh
Ahhhh

Bill-O Bemoans Big Health Insurance Premium Bulge

Bill O’Reilly might be Sarah Palin’s closest rival when it comes to misunderstanding facts, publicly opposing a Democratic Party policy and then providing an argument which actually defends the opposed policy. This week’s example occurred on Wednesday evening’s episode of The O’Reilly Factor.

You might recall that Bill O’Reilly (as well as the rest of the cadre of Fox News pundits) lambasted any form of Democratic Party health care reform legislation on a nightly basis from the time that it was first announced right on through the date of its passage into law. Well, the other night he continued his barrage of criticism on the “Talking Points Memo” portion of his television show. He was visibly outraged that his most recent health insurance premium increased by over $ 2,100.00 this year to bring his total annual premium for a family of four to over $ 20,000.00. He then said that the health insurance reform law was “the biggest financial con in U.S. history.” Bill-O pointed out the health insurance companies are increasing profits by as much as 40% from year to year and that their executives are reaping bonuses in the millions, all on the backs of the working class consumers.

When you consider however, that the major cost saving components of the health care reform law do not go into effect until 2014, it would appear that O’Reilly’s outrage should be directed at the private sector health insurance system which is presently in effect. After all, in order to ensure passage of the bill, the Democrats were forced to water it down by means of delaying the date when it would be fully enacted. But rather than direct his anger at the private insurers that are reaping huge profits while simultaneously prescribing equally huge rate increases under the non-existent regulation of the present system, O’Reilly tried to pin the blame on the health care reform law that is not yet in effect. He said that “American health insurance companies are building in the anticipated costs of Obama-care” now because they know that they will be prohibited from doing so in 2014 and consequently, it is the future cost saving provisions of the new law that are to blame for today’s private sector insurance industry greed. Wow, talk about circular reasoning!

Does this mean that O’Reilly now admits that if the health care reform law were stronger and all of its cost-cutting provisions were enacted immediately, then it would have been a better law? It sure sounds that way. But that argument flies in the face of his nearly two year long crusade against any form of health care reform law. During that entire time, O’Reilly continually repeated his mantra that “The United States has the greatest health care system in the world”.

So which one is it Bill? Is the present system in which insurance companies reap giant profits and hike premiums from year to year “the greatest health care system in the world”, or would it have been better if the recently passed health care reform bill (which you oppose) was fully enacted sooner? Please do tell.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

The Who’s Baba O’Reilly (Teenage Wasteland) song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ik_K3s7B2A

BLAH-BLAH O’REILLY (BILL-O’s WASTELAND)

(sung to The Who song “Baba O’Reilly [Teenage Wasteland]“)

Out here on the air
Unbalanced, not fair
I earn my pay with all my fibbing
My show really bites
Just watch tonight
I’ll be on your television

Don’t cry
Don’t hide your eyes
It’s only Bill-O’s Wasteland

Coulter, take my hand
We’re in Fox News Land
We all are liars
“Pinheads” on our shoulders
The Exorcist is here
He’ll drive out all the queers
Dressed all in leather
They could not get much bolder

Bill-O’s Wasteland
It’s only Bill-O’s Wasteland
Bill-O’s Wasteland
It’s only Bill-O’s Wasteland
They’re all wasted

(classic Who musical harmonica fade-out)

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