Daily Archives: May 24, 2012

Sarah Palin: The Gaffe Gift That Keeps On Giving

Sarah Palin was a gift to Democrats during the 2008 Presidential election cycle. She not only sunk any chance that the Republicans had of keeping the White House, but her constant mishaps and blunders entertained even those who do not follow politics. Remember when she could not name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads to keep current on the affairs of the nation? Remember when she said health care reform “is all about job creation”? Remember when she could not remember Joe Biden’s name (O’Biden)? Remember when she was incapable of describing the job of the Vice President to an elementary school student? Best of all, she inspired Tina Fey to create one of the most accurate and funny politician portrayals in the history of comedic politician portrayals.

Thankfully, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska continued to entertain us even after she blew the election. In May of 2010, Palin appeared on Fox News’ “The O’Reilly Factor” to talk about the controversy over the “National Day of Prayer”, during which, she boldly announced that the US should base its laws on The Bible, just as the Founding Fathers intended. Speaking of the Founding Fathers, when asked about the “under God” reference in the Pledge of Allegiance, Palin said, “If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers, its good enough for me” (of course the Pledge of Allegiance was not written until more than 100 years after the Founding Fathers). How about when she wrote in her book “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag” that, “Susan B. Anthony saw the fight for the rights of the unborn as part of the broader fight for women’s rights.”? Remember her 2009 interview on “Good Morning America” when she referenced the fictitious “White House Department of Law”? Was there anyone who did not laugh out loud in 2011 when, during her “bus tour” stop in Boston, she said that Paul Revere rode on horseback and “”warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells…”” (Even American school kids of course,  are  aware Revere actually rode from Boston to Lexington warning the COLONISTS that the British Army was marching in their direction).

Guess what? The “Sarah Palin Stupid Train” continues to roll down the tracks of our tears of laughter!

We can thank the Topeka Capital-Journal of Kansas for exposing Sarah Palin’s latest blunder. It seems that lots of Kansas voters received a robo-call from Palin in which she solicited them to vote for the Tea Party endorsed Ted Cruz for the U.S. Senate. She said, “Ted Cruz is a true conservative you can trust to stand on principle and change the way Washington does business. Today, through May 25, please vote early for Ted Cruz for U.S. Senate.” Palin ended the call by saying, “Join me. Choose Cruz for Senate.”

That is quite a ringing endorsement from Sarah Palin. Question is, why would she be asking Kansans to vote for a man who is running for the U.S. Senate seat in TEXAS?

Sometimes  you just can’t make this stuff up!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dvx7RcEX8w4

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

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