Fox News Manufactures A Fake “War On Halloween”

Fox News will do anything to avoid reporting on newsworthy events. In the last week Libya’s terrorist/dictator Colonel Moammar Gadhafi was captured and killed by his nation’s citizens thereby bringing an end to his 40 years of brutal leadership and opening the door to a more democratic form of government (BTW, does anybody else wonder why he never promoted himself above colonel?). The overthrow of Gadhafi after only 8 months of “war” also validated President Obama’s military strategy of foregoing “boots on the ground” in favor of enforcement of a no-fly zone and drone attacks because, not only was Gadhafi captured after his convoy was struck by such a drone attack, but also because not one single American life was lost in the conflict which cost only about $1 billion. Did Fox News provide coverage of the capture of Gadhafi? Hardly at all. Did Fox News report on the success of the United States’ role in the conflict? Nope. Instead they credited France and Great Britain.

A day or so after the elimination of Gadhafi, President Obama announced that all U.S. troops would be leaving Iraq by the end of this year. Consequently, the 8 year Iraq War will finally be concluded after the loss of over 3,500 American lives and more than $ 800 billion to date. Did Fox News report on the benefits of ending the conflict in terms of saved lives and precious taxpayer dollars? Of course not. Instead, the Fox anchor reporting on the President’s announcement merely queried as to why the statement was made from the Brady Press Briefing Room rather than from “the East Room or someplace else.” Honestly, is that all they’ve got over at Fox News?

Of course not. Do not worry your pretty little heads. Fox News has all the time in the world to report upon really important stuff such as their fabricated “Holiday Wars”. It all started a few years ago when Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck and guests such as Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter got their panties all in a bunch over the fact that lots of people were saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas”. The Fox folks declared that  there was a “War on Christmas”. Apparently the folks over at Fox do not realize that a lot of Americans who benefit from a paid holiday on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day are actually Jewish or Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu and do not celebrate the Christian Christmas.

If that were not enough foolishness from Fox, last Spring Sean Hannity declared that there is also a “War on Easter”. He was apparently unable to come up with any concrete examples of the siege against Easter. Instead, he complained that Lady Gaga chose a poor time (April 2011) to release her song titled “Judas” and he was also upset that British comedian Ricky Gervais had recently criticized Christians in a written article. Hannity ignored the fact that neither of his targets even used the word “Easter”.

Now Fox news has now declared that there is a “War on Halloween”. MediaMatters.org reports that on October 21, 2011, Fox Nation posted a headline which read, “Schools Declare War on Halloween”. This was linked to an article by Todd Starnes in which the author criticized a few elementary schools for their decision not to allow children to wear Halloween costumes and have parades which are open to the public during school hours. The article states that the schools had “concerns that Americans are forcing their holiday traditions on new immigrants”.

The Fox article of course, failed to give credence to the schools’ actual stated reasons for banning the events such as  health and safety concerns and avoiding hurt feelings. The links provided in the very article explained for instance that one principal was worried about the influx of parents and visitors at the schools and the risk of an abduction of a child who could not be identified because of the costume. She said, “On parade day, the doors are open and it’s a flood of adults in here. It’s unfortunate, but we can’t believe all people coming into our building are safe.” The principal also explained that severe food allergies are an increasing problem and all Halloween treats being brought in could not be monitored. She also explained that there are often hurt feelings experienced by the poorer children who do not have costumes. Another principal elected to replace the unhealthy candy associated with Halloween with a Fall festival which will celebrate the healthy foods of the autumn harvest and also promote exercise. Additionally, all of the schools mentioned indicated that they will continue to host “after school” traditional Halloween parties.

What next Fox News? The “War on Arbor Day”?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Halloween-inspired song parody.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

About these ads

Posted on October 26, 2011, in Fox News and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Perpetual War of Choice

    The always morose Lindsey Graham was particularly despondent over the conclusion of our “cake walk” in Iraq. What’s the point of putting our country into bankruptcy if we can’t deploy troops in Iraq indefinitely? You just know that Iraq will improve relations with Iran. What about us? What about Israel? What about Jesus?

    Herbert Cain has tried to cheer things up by bringing up some stale talking points (” I would not have announced this big drawdown, tell the enemy so now they’re going to basically position themselves”) but things just aren’t the same. Very depressing. The way things are going the only thing left will be the war on poverty, and there’s no money to be made in that.

  2. The Conquerors of Mesopotamia (plus Collins) on a business trip to Libya.

    McCain and Graham later complained that NATO wasn’t bombing enough for their taste.

    • Some senators will not ever be happy. I won’t be happy until both of them are exposed for the frauds that they are.

      I’m looking at you, Miss Lindsay, and YOU McCain.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 111 other followers

%d bloggers like this: