Daily Archives: September 26, 2011

GOP Flavor Of The Week Is Pizza and Rick Perry “Really Did Throw-Up All Over Himself”

Breaking News: Herman Cain won the GOP straw poll in Florida last Friday. The former owner of Godfathers’ Pizza is now the “flavor of the week” for Republicans. The highly touted Florida Straw Poll is important to members of the Grand Old Party because its winner has an unusually high percentage of eventually capturing the party’s nomination for President. Cain is the “flavor of the week” because although he won this particular contest, moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann won the earlier Iowa Straw Poll and Mitt(wit) Romney won the Michigan Straw Poll and Ron “Civil Rights Act is Unconstitutional” Paul won the California Straw Poll. Strangely enough, the consensus Republican front-runner, Rick Perry has consistently failed to win any contests (or debates for that matter). Floridians appeared to be impressed by Cain’s “9 – 9 – 9″ taxation plan which many of them confused with Godfathers’ Pizza’s “9 – 9 – 9 Pizza Deal” which consisted of a 9 inch pizza with 9 toppings all for $9 dollars.

Lynnrockets also took one for the team and watched “Fox News Sunday“. It was very enlightening to learn that not only do all all the conservative Fox News pundits dislike the field of Republican Presidential candidates, but that they also believe that the majority of Republican voters are displeased with the lot. Panelist A.B Stoddard said the Cain win represented not only a disappointment over Perry, but a “dissatisfaction” with the current field amongst the GOP base. She said the poll was “a real slap toward Perry and Mitt Romney…they don’t like their choices at all”.  Bill Kristol piped-in by saying “70% of Floridians voted against the two front-runners (i.e Perry and Romney)” and “it was a vote of no confidence ” against both of them. He concluded by saying “these are very weak front-runners”. Juan Williams (the only quasi-liberal panelist) said, “there still is this hankering for someone else to come in”. Williams went on to say,

“The impression they are giving to the nation as a whole is that this is a very limited conversation among the Tea Party element or the far right of the Republican Party. Not only is it that they won’t except $3 dollars in cuts for $1 dollar in a tax hike, but it’s things like the immigration argument that really held center this week…If I’m Hispanic and I’m watching that show (the debate), I think, ‘Gee, these people don’t like me. They don’t like immigrants of any stripe’”.

It was Brit Hume however, who was the most caustic toward Perry in particular and the Republican field in general. He opened by saying,

Perry really did throw-up all over himself at the debate and at a time when he really did need to raise his game, … he did worse…Perry is about one half a step away from total collapse as a candidate…What keeps happening here is these people have a moment, they get into the race as Perry did and zoom to the top and everybody is in love, and then we get a dose of them… and they don’t seem so great.”

Let’s go to the tape. The Brit Hume statements begin at the 2:00 minute mark:

Batting next for the Republican Party: Chris Christie?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

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