Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 84

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful Independence Day weekend!

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time some unregulated free-market endorsing conservative tells you that the mortgage crisis was caused by unqualified (i.e. poor) homeowners, ask them why Bank of America (and its predecessor in interest, Countrywide Home loans) agreed this week to pay a whopping $8.5 billion to settle the mortgage fraud charges leveled against it.

THIS JUST IN:  It is reported by www.otherwords.org that every person in a county in Montana has a single-payer health plan in the form of Medicare for all. After the residents of Libby were victimized by a health disaster caused by a mining company which killed hundreds and sickened thousands, a special provision was written into the new health care law to ease the pain. “Residents of Libby don’t have to be 65 years old or more. They don’t have to wait until 2014 for the state exchanges. There’s no 10-year roll out for them — it’s immediate. They don’t have to purchase a plan — this isn’t a buy-in to Medicare. It’s free. They don’t have to be disabled for two years before they apply. They don’t have to go without care for three years until Medicaid expands. They don’t have to meet income tests. They don’t have to apply for a subsidy or pay a fine for failure to buy insurance. They don’t have to hope that the market will make a plan affordable or hide their pre-existing conditions. They don’t have to find a job that provides coverage. Now, if only the rest of the nation realizes how beneficial such a plan is, maybe that is the next step in health care reform.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” features moonbat-crazy GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. While the wacky Teapublican has forcefully denounced the Medicaid program for swelling the “welfare rolls,” the mental health clinic run by her husband has been collecting annual Medicaid payments totaling over $137,000 for the treatment of patients since 2005, according to new figures obtained by NBC News. How is that for Tea Party hypocrisy?

THIS JUST IN:  Maria Shriver cited “irreconcilable differences” in a petition filed Friday to dissolve her 25-year marriage to former philandering Republican California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. She won’t be back!

BREAKING NEWS:  The Washington Post reports that employees of presidential candidate Newt Gingrich grew increasingly concerned in recent years about their boss’s purchases from luxury jeweler Tiffany & Co., worrying that if he followed through on plans to run for president, it could become a political liability. Gingrich’s Tiffany spending has also been questioned by his Republican opponents. He has offered few details about his relationship with the jeweler or the purchases made. He is now known as Newt Blingrich!

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but whatever happened to Joe the Plumber?

BREAKING NEWS:  This was an interesting report from NewsHounds: “Sean Hannity’s Great American Panel unanimously and emphatically broke ranks with Hannity last night (6/29/11) as each panelist agreed that Donald Trump’s birtherism was offensive and racist. Predictably, white-rights enthusiast Hannity argued otherwise. But as the panel continued to denounce birtherism, he said, “It never was my issue.” Hannity didn’t care to enlighten us as to the definition of “his issue,” but if repeatedly giving airtime and legitimacy to suggestions that there was something fishy about President Obama’s birth certificate – even after he had produced it – counts, then it certainly was Hannity’s issue. Of course, it’s also quite possible Hannity knew all along it was a bogus controversy but he was willing to cast aside truth, accuracy and evidence in order to hit at Obama. The fact that there was a racial angle to the whole thing probably made it all the more tantalizing.

THIS JUST IN: Fox News comment of the week. Headline: “Guard chief: Iran Can Build Longer-Rangemissiles.” Fox News comment: “An intelligent President would have already blew Iran off the map and not wait until they can pose more of a threat to other people. Nuke them.” “Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS:  Lynnrockets’ idea of the week. Kill two birds with one stone and give Glenn Beck‘s former time-slot to Joe the Plumber.

THIS JUST IN:  What is the real story behind Sarah Palin and her alleged jury duty?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s pseudo-rap inspired song parody.

Loser song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut5A_r5iiOg

SHE”S A PINHEAD, BABY

(sung to the Beck song “Loser”)

From the town of Wasilla, she’s like Godzilla
She’s lame in the brain and she endorsed Joseph Miller
With her winking eyeballs, Sarah loves those catcalls
Barbie doll shouts out to those G.I. Joes
On the far right they think she’s beautiful
Sarah Palin is a loser with no self-control
Sarah’s the Queen-O of the Tea Party
Just a bunch of dumb slouches marching to her beat
Pundits keep sayin’ she’s insane with no brain
Her daughter’s shotgun wedding was blasted into dirt
She writes crib-notes just below her sleeve
She was a Governor for awhile but she said she had to leave
She shoves her face in each race with her bark
Hates people with food stamps that live in those big trailer parks

Yo, cut it

Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(Double-barrel buckshot)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly

Palin is evil, thank John for this nightmare
Blasts country music in her book-signing chamber
Just a scheming weasel and she comes wrapped in a flag
Hails from the North Pole, this oil-pimping Tea-Hag
Loves her “Sixpack Joes” cuz First Dude has no job
Nothing more than Sarah’s house-husband slob
Sarah-baby pulls all of the strings
Snapped a turkey’s neck while she’s talking on that TV thing
She can’t write and she can’t debate
Stealing cash like a thief from her fans that think she’s great
Never bothers with any facts, … she’s wrong more than she’s right
While preachin’ to her minions

Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(She’s in the stardumb bizznizz)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(“Thanks but no thanks”)

Yo, bring her down

Soooooooooooo…
(She’s a liar, she’s a sinner, brings no hope or change, can’t you feel it?)

Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(She says, “also too”)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(Is that her baby?)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(Know what I’m sayin’?)

A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon

Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:

• Glenn Beck
• Ron Paul
• Rush Limbaugh
• Donald Trump
• Michelle Malkin
• Newt Gingrich
• Ann Coulter
• Michele Bachmann
• Sean Hannity
• Sarah Palin
• Laura Ingraham
• Rand Paul
• Tucker Carlson
• Rudi Giuliani
• Christine O’Donnell
• Larry Craig
• Michael Savage
• David Vitter
• Scott Brown
• Dick Morris
• Fox News
• Dick Cheney
• Tea Party

Here’s what comes to my mind:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Glenn Beck: Tears of A Rodeo Clown

Yes, that is the proverbial “Fat Lady” who you can hear singing. The show is now officially over. That’s right, we are finally rid of the hate-speak and misinformation-spewing Glenn Beck. Even the Republican propaganda arm known as Fox News finally realized that steadily declining ratings and the continued loss of millions of dollars in free market advertising dictated a divorce between the network and the crazy-man. In the end, even Fox News president Roger Ailes had his limits when it comes to a lost cause.

The break-up came after months of infighting between Beck and the network. The straw that broke the camel’s back however, was the fact that virtually all of the program’s sponsors fled along with their advertising revenue and Beck’s ratings have plummeted by approximately 40%. What show could withstand that type of double-whammy?

During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck will be long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck, the self-described rodeo clown, began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in a near empty classroom. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses seem to have been witnessing.

Don’t believe me? Watch this:

Need more evidence? let’s watch a few more of Beck highlights as well as his final exit:

That my friends is a caseload of canned-crazy. But now it is time to celebrate. This weekend we should celebrate not only the holiday which commemorates our great nation’s independence, but also the final departure of one of our great nation’s craziest wackos from the free public airwaves.

Lynnrockets wishes all of you and your’s a happy, healthy 4th of July Weekend!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Tears Of A Clown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zww7FQILQec

TEARS OF A RODEO CLOWN

 (sung to the Smokey Robinson song “Tears of A Clown”)

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah

Now Fox wiped that smile from Beck’s face
Was only there trying to fool the public
And Glenn was a drug-abusing fool
And honey, since now we’re on the subject
Don’t you let Beck’s sad expression
Lead to misplaced adulation
Really Beck’s mad, and he’s sadder than sad
Beck’s gone and he’s hurtin’ so bad
Like a clown Beck pretends to be glad

Now there’s some mad things ‘bout this man
But ain’t too much sadder than
The tears of this clown, as Beck stumbles around
Uh hum, oh yeah Becky

Now if it appears Fox set him free
It’s only to minimize the badness
They want to conceal that wild-eyed guy
His sponsors all fled due to Beck’s madness
Fox won’t let his show continue
Beck has too many issues
He just had to go, along with his show
Glenn’s hurt and it really does show
That dumb Glenn Beck has lost his mojo, ooh yeah

Now there’s some mad things ‘bout this man
But ain’t too much sadder than
The tears of this clown, as Beck stumbles around
Oh yeah

Just like Liberace did
Glenn Beck lost it and flipped his lid
Telling conspiracy lies
Moisture filling his jaundiced eyes
The tears of a clown
And his faked sobbing sound, oh yeah baby

Yes, Fox wiped that smile from Beck’s face
Look at Ailes’ glad expression
He taught Glenn Beck a lesson
Don’t let the smile Beck wears
Make you think that he don’t care
Cuz really he’s sad…Beck’s hurting so bad…