Tea Bagging Racist Ron Paul Announces Run For 2012 Presidency

Ron Paul and his sane supporters.

How appropriate that wacky Republican Ron Paul would announce his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on Friday the 13th. This unlucky day might doom his own campaign while simultaneously bringing bad luck to the other Republican candidates who will lose primary votes to the pied-piper of Tea Party lunatics. Ron Paul is just the type of conservative wild-card that the Democrats were hoping for. He adds to the potential GOP cadre of crackpots like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump, yet he also has the ability to garner enough primary votes to vanquish the chances of some of the more viable Republican candidates. Ron Paul might just be Barack Obama’s best secret weapon.

If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s craziness, consider these tidbits:

-  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

- He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

- He opposes birthright citizenship;

- He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

- He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and

- He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

- “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

- “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

- “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

- “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

- “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking);

In an attempt to deflect criticism regarding these quotes Paul said the documents were authored by ghostwriters, and that while he did not author the challenged passages, he bore “some moral responsibility” for their publication. Gee, do ya think?

Has Ron Paul said anything interesting of late you ask? FoxNews.com reports that in a radio interview Tuesday, Paul said that the U.S. government could have worked with Pakistan to secure Usama bin Laden’s capture instead of unilaterally entering the country and killing him — despite concerns that the Pakistanis could have tipped him off.  Paul said,

“It was absolutely not necessary. What if he had been in a hotel in London? So would we have sent the … helicopters into London because they were afraid the information would get out? No, you don’t want to do that.”

So let’s get this straight. Ron Paul believes that the Pakistani government (which has a history of non-cooperation and outright misleading of the US government) would have been just as cooperative as our longtime ally the British government in apprehending Osama bin Laden. Things that make you say, “Hmm?” Indeed, that wacky statement even raised the hackles of some of his cultishly loyal Tea Baggers. Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips said on his website,

“If there is any doubt that Ron Paul should not even get near the Oval Office, even on a tour of the White House, he has just revealed it. For a Congressman to say the raid to kill the man who is one of the greatest mass murderers of Americans in history was, ‘not necessary,’ is simply nuts.”

Luckily (for us progressives), inasmuch as most members of the Tea Party read the news about as frequently as Sarah Palin (see Katie Couric interview), they will not know about Paul’s statement or Tea Party Nation’s comment thereon. Consequently, they will still support Paul in large numbers. All in all, Ron Paul’s inclusion in the “Koch Bros. and Flying Republican Nomination Circus” is sure to be entertaining fun for the whole family.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Today Is The Second Birthday Of Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off !!!

What began as a fun little pastime has blossomed into two year’s worth of blogging. In December of 2008 yours truly was recovering from knee surgery and as a means to fight the boredom of the passive-motion machine, I  started perusing the comment sections of various blogs that I happened upon. Soon thereafter, I too began leaving comments of a political nature. Then, to have some fun, I began to post a few political song parodies based upon 1960′s and 1970′s television theme songs. Eventually I began to spend most of my time on a blog known as The Mudflats because I enjoyed the numerous posts about Sarah Palin.

By the early Spring  my comments were solely of the musical kind. To be honest however, my frequent postings seemed to annoy a number of The Mudflats‘ readers who desired more prose than poems. At that point the Mudflats‘ administrator suggested that I start a blog of my own (probably to get rid of me). The idea sounded great but impossible for this computer-challenged scribe. I did not even know what the word blog meant (by the way, I still don’t). Thankfully, the friendly neighborhood Mudflats administrator held my hand and walked me through the process of creating what you are reading today. I remain forever thankful.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off debuted on May 13, 2009. Nobody noticed. Little by little however, the readership increased and the growing traffic encouraged me to carry on. The task was made easier by Sarah Palin’s ever escalating shenanigans. Palin and her crazy family were simply spoon-feeding material to comment upon. In fact, she provided so much material that I ran out of television theme songs. Consequently, I was forced to venture into the world of popular music for the song parodies. Although the pop music world seemed to unveil a limitless number of songs it also made the task of parody more difficult. You see, pop songs are a lot longer and have way more lyrics than television theme songs. Fortunately, we were then blessed with the emergence of the moonbat-crazy Tea Baggers, Michele Bachmann and Glenn Beck’s descent into insanity and the non-masturbatory life of Christine O’Donnell. Somehow we persevered and here we are today celebrating our second birthday.

I thank each and every one of you for stopping by over the last 24 months. I would especially like to thank those that leave a comment now and again. Those comments provide a sense of worthiness as well as inspiration and new material for later posts. Once again, I thank all of you.

Today’s song parody is autobiographical in nature and explains the purpose of this blog.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs

Palin Tosses Another Magnificent Word Salad

I really do wish that I could stop writing about Sarah Palin and move on to some other sordid Republicans. Problem is, every time I find a new subject, Palin opens her mouth and says something so astonishingly stupid that I feel it must be revealed to the blogosphere.

Case in point. All week conservative talk radio and Fox News have been abuzz about the rapper/poet known as Common being invited to the White House as part of Michele Obama’s White House Music Series. Conservatives from coast to coast are aghast that a rapper, who in his distant past, sang a song about gun-slinging confrontations with the police and his dissatisfaction with George W. Bush as a president could ever be invited to the White House. Of course those conservatives never actually took the time to read all the lines of the poem “Letter To The Law” because if they had, they would have realized that Common was actually telling people to stop the violence and seek peace in their communities.

The Huffington Post and Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show” have pointed out that the folks over at Fox News even conveniently forgot that last year they gleefully interviewed Common and the Fox host said,

“Your music is very positive and you’re known as the conscience rapper. How important is that to you and how important do you think that is to our kids?”

How is that for a network completely reversing itself? You might also recall that Fox News aired an enthusiastic Happy Birthday shout-out to “Cop Killer” rapper Ice-T. on his 52nd birthday. The network also condones the violent gun laden attacks that rocker Ted Nugent levies against Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. And where was the outrage from Fox and the conservatives when George W. Bush honored Johnny Cash despite the fact that he wrote the lyrics, “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die”? Can you sense some hypocrisy?

But what about Sarah Palin? She is of course, not only the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. She is also a Fox News host and here is what she had to say about the White House invite to Common,

“You know, the judgment, it’s just so lacking of class and decency and all that’s good about America with an invite like this.”

and,

“This rapper, we thought that we were to be united under the leader of the free world, Barack Obama, in tamping down racism and inciting violence and cop killing, certainly, and killing a former president.”

Wow, and we thought George W. Bush was the worst orator we had ever heard. What in the wide, wide world of gibberish is Palin attempting to articulate? Sarah Palin should be a chef because she tosses a mean word salad!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Turning Japanese song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

LEARNING PALINESE

(sung to the Vapors song “Turning Japanese”)

She quotes from scripture
Says, “also too”
Limited world-view
Of that I knew
She was so daring to say, “thanks but no thank you”

Helen Keller
Was more profound
Poor Sarah Palin
Knows so few nouns
I reach for tissue every time that she expounds

Her book has pictures, yes lots of pictures
That’s why the worthless thing flew right off the shelf
Had a witch doctor concoct a mixture
That would drive her demons right on back to hell
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

I saw her picture, I saw her picture
And then I threw-up there all over myself
Sarah’s a talking Tea Party fixture
“Refudiating” things she just said herself
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

All sex and thugs and whining woman
All guns, dumb kin, no clue, she’s lost in the dark
She told us that “death panels” were a sure-fire danger
She speaks in tongues and babbles like a psycho ranger
Hope she runs

That’s why I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

(gibberish break)

Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Think so, think so, think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

The Palin’s Have Become The Kardashians

The Kardashian family is the purest example of fame for fame’s sake alone that this great nation of ours can lay claim to. Think of it for a moment. Nobody would have ever heard of any of the Kardashians if O.J. Simpson had not retained Robert Kardashian as part of his “dream team” of legal eagles to defend him in his murder trial. At the time, what was most notable about Kardashian was not his legal expertise, but the fact that he had not practiced law in over 20 years and had allowed his license to practice law to expire. Did he inspire a nation with his legal acumen in the Simpson case? Not so much. He merely sat next to Simpson during the trial while the real lawyers successfully defended the former football star.

Somehow, a star was born. From that point onward anyone with the name Kardashian became an overnight celebrity without having demonstrated any sort of expertise in any field whatsoever. Oldest daughter Kourtney was completely unknown and unaccomplished until she began appearing on television reality shows such as Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Daughter Kim Kardashian followed suit. She too was virtually unknown and unaccomplished until she performed in a widely distributed sex tape with her boyfriend and appeared in the reality television series Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney and Kim Take New York and Dancing with The Stars. Daughter Khloe Kardashian is also only known for the reality television series Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and Khloe and Lamar (along with husband Lamar Odom of the Los Angeles Lakers) as well as for being arrested and jailed for driving under the influence of alcohol. Son Robert, Jr. has done nothing but appear in the series Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Khloe and Lamar.

Despite their nonexistent achievements, nary a day can pass without media attention on at least one of the Kardashians. Is there any other American family that has accomplished so little yet gained so much fame? The answer is a resounding, “Yes”! The Palins of Wasilla Alaska.

Prior to that late summer day in 2008 when she was named as Republican John McCain’s vice presidential running mate, nobody south of Alaska had ever heard of Sarah Palin. That anonymity ended suddenly however, with the folksy and educationally-challenged Palin’s disastrous series of televised interviews and her inept debate performance. Her fiery stump speeches were heavily laden with one-liners but glaringly short on substance. Consequently, she and McCain were defeated soundly in the 2008 election. Nevertheless, she was considered to be physically attractive enough to catch the attention of similarly uneducated conservative men and members of the media such that she became an overnight celebrity sensation.

After losing the election, Sarah Palin began to get a taste for fame and a similar distaste for the serious world of politics. She promptly quit her position as Governor of Alaska after having served only half of one term. Since then she has had her memoir and another book ghost-written and she has embarked on two nationwide book-signing tours. She joined the lucrative speaking circuit and she has teased about a possible run for the presidency. She has joined the employ of Fox News as a commentator and she has plastered the internet tubes with Facebook postings and Twitter tweets about almost every thought that enters her tiny little head. She even appeared in her very own short-lived reality television series. Sarah Palin has become a lucrative media industry unto herself.

Her family has followed suit, also too. The tabloid magazines love to cover every Palin family trial and tribulation, and there are many. There were the drug related arrests of husband Todd’s half-sister and once-and-future son in law Levi Johnston’s mother. There was Levi Johnston’s quick rise and fall from fame as a Playboy model and potential reality television star. There were the profanity-laced Facebook tirades of two of the young Palin daughters. There was the Palin family’s attempts to have Sarah’s former brother-in-law fired as an Alaskan State Trooper. There was the alleged affair between Todd Palin and an Alaskan prostitute. All of this and we have not even mentioned Bristol yet.

Bristol Palin of course, is the one-time unwed pregnant teen daughter and high school drop-out of Sarah and Todd. During her campaign for vice president, Sarah often referred to her as the brave daughter who would soon be married to her longtime boyfriend so that the two of them would raise their child in loving harmony. Indeed, the wedding announcement was made before a televised audience. Of course none of that happened. Shortly after Palin’s campaign collapsed, so did Bristol and Levi’s wedding engagement.

After the break-up, Levi agreed to model for Playboy Magazine and Bristol accepted a high paying job with the Candies Foundation to speak out against teen pregnancy of all things. Only in America. She is getting lucratively paid to tell teens not to do exactly what she did. There have been recent rumors that at the young age of 22, Bristol has had elective plastic surgery. Like her mom, she also announced that she has been paid by a publisher to write a book. Also like her mom, Bristol has taken to the world of reality television series. Last year she appeared on Dancing With The Stars and was surrounded with the ever-present Palin aura of controversy. It was alleged that despite her poor dancing skills and the judges’ low scoring, Bristol was not voted off the show by the audience as the result of a well orchestrated effort by Sarah Palin supporters. As an encore, it was announced yesterday that Bristol will now be appearing in yet another reality series.

CNN reports, “The BIO Channel announced today that they will air 10 half-hour episodes of a currently untitled Bristol Palin/Massey brothers docu-series. The new program will center around Palin and her son Tripp’s move to Los Angeles, where they will live with actor Kyle Massey and his brother Christopher.”  David McKillop, executive vice president of programming for the A&E Network and BIO Channel, said “Bristol is the kind of personality BIO is drawn to. Her personal life has been playing out in the media for several years but this will be the first time she’s opening up her real life, with her son and her friends the Massey Brothers.”

The Palins are now officially the next Kardashians.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Dancing Queen song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y62OlGvC-bk

DANCING QUEEN

(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)

She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
(Ooooh)
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen

Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing

Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen

She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Should have been gone by Round 5?
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen

Happy Mothers’ Day

Here’s wishing all of you loyal Rocketeers a wonderful Mothers’ Day. The “Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)” weekly recap will return next week.

Palin Pulls Romneyesque Flip-Flop On Foreign Policy

The fact that Sarah Palin has no mind of her own was made evident once again this week. Ever since the late summer of 2008 when she was unwisely chosen by John McCain as his vice presidential running-mate, Palin has been a nation-building war-hawk who favored an ever-growing US military budget and worldwide footprint.

In June of 2008 while discussing the war in Iraq she said,

“Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending soldiers out on a task that is from God. That’s what we have to make sure that we’re praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God’s plan.”

Later in 2009 Sarah Palin had this to say about Afghanistan:

“McChrystal gave the president the advice and said, ‘We need essentially a surge strategy in Afghanistan, so that we can win in Afghanistan. And that means more resources, more troops there.’ It frustrates me and frightens me — and many Americans — that President Obama is dithering around with the decision in Afghanistan.”

Finally, as recently as February 2011, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said this about Libya,

“We should have no illusions. Gaddafi is a brutal killer and Libya – not to mention the world – would be better off if he were out of power. Now is the time to speak out. Speak out for the long-suffering Libyan people. Speak out for the victims of Gaddafi’s terror. NATO and our allies should look at establishing a no-fly zone so Libyan air forces cannot continue slaughtering the Libyan people. We should not be afraid of freedom, especially when it comes to people suffering under a brutal enemy of America. Here’s to freedom from Gaddafi for the people of Libya.”

That was then, however. Sarah Palin has now morphed into an isolationist who disfavors nation-building and an expansive US military. At a poorly attended speaking engagement at Colorado Christian University last Monday, Palin unveiled her foreign policy flip-flop. Politico.com reports that,

” First, Palin said, ‘we should only commit our forces when clear and vital American interests are at stake. Period.’ That point led to her second, dismissing nation-building as a ‘nice idea in theory,’ but not the ‘main purpose’ guiding American foreign policy.

Palin continued down that track by insisting that a president must be able to articulate ‘clearly defined objectives’ before foreign interventions – a standard she has recently said Obama failed to live up to in Libya. As her fourth point, Palin declared that ‘American soldiers must never be put under foreign command.’Palin’s concluding statement deviated somewhat from ideology she had been espousing, as she stated that while ‘sending our armed forces should be our last resort… we will encourage the forces of freedom in the world.’ That last point is somewhat consistent with the non-interventionist ideology Palin has been growing fond of in recent weeks – but also provides her a clever escape clause from her stated theory that has allowed her to criticize Obama for, as she has said, acting too slowly in Libya.

‘We can’t fight every war, we can’t undo every injustice in the world,’ Palin said. Sunday’s attack on bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan was ‘an effective use of force,’ Palin said, unlike the ‘ill-defined’ mission in Libya.”

So let’s get this straight. Sarah Palin is now against the NATO no fly zone that she was in favor of just last February. She is also now against the nation building that she once claimed was “God’s plan”. This change of heart is very reminiscent of Palin’s favoring that famous “bridge to nowhere” before she was later against it. It is also akin to Mitt Romney’s flip-flops on such heartfelt issues as women’s choice, gun rights and universal health care. What could have triggered Palin’s reversal?

Actually, it is quite understandable. You see, Palin’s longtime hawkish neo-conservative foreign relations consulting firm Orion Strategies has cut its ties with her. “The personnel shift carries an ideological charge,” wrote Politico’s Ben Smith. [Scheunemann and Goldfarb of Orion Strategies] crafted for Palin a policy platform and voice reflecting an eagerness to use American force. Foreignpolicy.com adds, that Orion had been spoonfeeding “Palin’s mostly neoconservative stance on a range of foreign policy issues, including her opposition to New START, support for robust defense budgets, criticism of Obama’s handling of the U.S.-Israel relationship, and backing for the surge in Afghanistan.

In contrast, Palin’s new foreign policy consultant, Peter Schweizer, a Hoover Institution fellow who blogs for (moonbat-crazy) Andrew Breitbart’s website Big Peace, has a more libertarian and Tea Party-friendly isolationist approach to foreign policy. Politico.com reports that “Schweizer has articulated a more skeptical view of the use of American force and promotion of democracy abroad.” Inasmuch as Sarah Palin has no independent thoughts of her own regarding either domestic or foreign policy, she happily took on the mindset of her newest psuedo-thinker. Consistency be damned!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Trump/Palin 2012 – “You’re Fired/I Quit”

The American public has spoken loud and clear. They do not want either Sarah Palin or Donald Trump as president. The most recent Quinnipiac University poll reveals that the vast majority of American voters believe that both the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska and the bankrupt billionaire are unacceptable candidates for the highest of elected offices.

A whopping 58% of those polled said they would never vote for Palin or Trump. Ouch! That is going to leave a mark. Peter Brown, the Assistant Director of the Quinnipiac Polling Institute believes that both reality television hosts have done a disservice to themselves in the manner in which they portray themselves to the public. He said, “Sarah Palin and Donald Trump suffer from the reality that, as our mothers told us, ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression.’”

The breakdown of the poll is as follows. A staggering 91% of Democrats said they would never vote for Sarah Palin along with 58% of Independents and 24% of Republicans who agreed. The numbers were not much better for Trump. A full 81% of Democrats said they would never vote for him along with 58% of Independents and 32% of Republicans who shared that sentiment.

These poor numbers for Palin and Trump are not surprising in light of  the fact that each of them possesses little to no political acumen. This has been demonstrated multiple times by Palin in her gaffe-filled televised interviews and by Trump by means of his “birther” obsession. Additionally, each of their most recent public appearances has only added to the public perception that they are pitiable non-factors in the serious world of politics. Donald Trump was made a laughingstock by President Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and Sarah Palin was photographed in a food-stained outfit and giant clown shoes at the same event.

 

Americans have decided that neither Palin nor Trump are presidential material. But what of the other potential GOP hopefuls? The Quinnipiac poll revealed that Massachusett’s Mitt Romney and Arkansas’ Mike Huckabee are in the best shape. The aforementioned Brown also stated that some of the other potential candidates such as Tim Pawlenty and Mitch Daniels may appeal to voters with the passage of time. He said, “Many of the relative unknowns could have large upsides if they can get out their messages, since they will not have to erase a bad first impression. It is always easier to make a good first impression than to change an existing negative one.”

The initial negative impression will prove to be the downfall of Caribou Barbie and The Donald. Misery loves company, so perhaps Palin and Trump should consider running as a team under the banner of the Tea Party. The bumper stickers could read: “Trump/Palin – You’re Fired/I Quit”!

CONRATULATIONS TO THOSE PESKY BOSTON BRUINS FOR THEIR GAME 3 WIN OVER THE PHILADELPHIA FLYERS LAST NIGHT! HERE’S HOPING WE CAN GET OUT THE BROOMS ON FRIDAY!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“I Got You Babe” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylGrQVL774k

I GOT YOU BABE

 (sung to the Sonny and Cher song “I Got You Babe”)

[Palin:] They say we’re dumb and we don’t know,
But there’s no doubt that we have lots of dough.
[Trump:] Well, they make fun of my hairdo,
But Sarah P., they call you “Caribou”

[Trump:]  Babe
[Both:] I got you babe. I got you babe

[Palin:]  Those “death panels” I did invent,
You went bankrupt and barely had one cent.
[Trump:]  I guess that’s so, we’ve both been caught,
And now its clear we really don’t know squat.

[Trump:]  Babe
[Both:] I got you babe. I got you babe

[Trump:]  You are the yang to my ying,
You be queen and I’ll be king.
[Palin:]  They say I’m mad, you’re a clown,
That I cannot tell a verb from a noun.

[Palin:]  They all now say that you were wrong,
That “birther” thing will be your last swan-song
[Trump:]  Don’t fret for me, I will be fine,
But you’re show was dumped, you’re not on prime-time

[Trump:]  Babe
[Both:] I got you babe. I got you babe

[Trump:]  You write crib-notes on your hand
[Palin:]  You got Gary Busey canned
[Trump:]  You thought you were “mavericky”
[Palin:]  You cheat like Dick Dastardly
[Trump:]  Your kids run wild every night
[Palin:]  You can’t even keep a wife
[Trump:]  The First Dude is sure to go
[Palin:]  I love to watch your ego grow

[Both:]  I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe

Obama Made Eradicating Osama A Top Priority. Bush, Not So Much.

President Barack Obama kept his promise to the American people that he would capture or kill terrorist Osama bin Laden. In 2008 he made a campaign promise during a presidential debate moderated by Tom Brokaw and Katie Couric. Barack Obama said,

“And we have a difficult situation in Pakistan. I believe that part of the reason we have a difficult situation is because we made a bad judgment going into Iraq in the first place when we hadn’t finished the job of hunting down bin Laden and crushing al-Qaida.

So what happened was we got distracted, we diverted resources, and ultimately bin Laden escaped, set up base camps in the mountains of Pakistan in the northwest provinces there.

They are now raiding our troops in Afghanistan, destabilizing the situation. They’re stronger now than at any time since 2001. And that’s why I think it’s so important for us to reverse course because that’s the central front on terrorism. They are plotting to kill Americans right now. As Secretary Gates, the Defense secretary, said, the war against terrorism began in that region, and that’s where it will end.

So part of the reason I think it’s so important for us to end the war in Iraq is to be able to get more troops into Afghanistan, put more pressure on the Afghan government to do what it needs to do, eliminate some of the drug trafficking that’s funding terrorism.

But I do believe that we have to change our policies with Pakistan. We can’t coddle, as we did, a dictator, give him billions of dollars, and then he’s making peace treaties with the Taliban and militants. What I have said is we’re going encourage democracy in Pakistan, expand our non-military aid to Pakistan so that they have more of a stake in working with us, but insisting that they go after these militants.

And if we have Osama bin Laden in our sights and the Pakistani government is unable or unwilling to take them out, then I think that we have to act, and we will take them out.

We will kill bin Laden. We will crush al-Qaida. That has to be our biggest national security priority.“

Later, as politico.com reminds us, “On June 2, 2009, just over four months into his presidency, Obama had signed a memo to CIA Director Leon Panetta stating,

“in order to ensure that we have expanded every effort, I direct you to provide me within 30 days a detailed operation plan for locating and bringing to justice’ bin Laden.“

Then in September of 2010, during a White House news conference, President Obama reiterated his commitment to “capturing or killing” Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda No. 2 Ayman al-Zawahiri.

“I think capturing or killing [them] would be extremely important to our national security,” he said. “Doesn’t solve all our problems, but it remains a high priority of this administration.”

The Hill http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/118067-obama-capturing-…

On May 1, 2011 President Obama delivered on his promise when Osama bin Laden was shot and killed during a Navy SEAL ambush of his hideout in Pakistan.

In stark contrast to the priority of President Obama, former President George W. Bush’s commitment to finding and capturing or killing bin Laden waned with the passage of time and his inability to locate the madman.

Two days after the 9/11 attacks, Bush said,

“The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.”

Shortly thereafter on September 17, 2001 Bush upped the ante and said,

“I want justice…There’s an old poster out West, as I recall, that said, ‘Wanted: Dead or Alive,’”

As Bush’s search for bin Laden was proving fruitless with the passege of time however, he began to change his tune.  On March 13, 2002 he said,

“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.”

That same day Bush added,

“I am truly not that concerned about him.”

George W. Bush was not lying in 2002. From that point onward until the 2008 election he seldom ever mentioned the name of Osama bin Laden again.

OK then, now that we’re finished with that, let’s have some fun with a song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

F Troop theme link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/F_Troop.html

BUSH TROOP

(sung to the television theme of “F Troop”)

The dawn of the Iraq War was near
When coincidentally
Cheney and Bush got the limits pushed
And commenced torturous brutality.

The methods employed often maimed and killed
Which pleased Cheney’s vicious group.
The waterboard trick both chilled and thrilled
Nobody was appalled they were called Bush Troop.

With testicle bites and really bright lights
Their victims sure took a lickin’
From draft dodging war hawks
Who are just chickens.

When killing and maiming get them down
They know their morale can’t droop.
As long as they own old D.C. Town
They are sure to resume with a bang and a boom
Bush Troop.

Revisionist Right-Wingers Fail To Mention Obama

If you were to believe the quotes of so many conservative right-wingers, you would think that President Barack Obama had absolutely nothing to do with the May 1, 2011 eradication of 9/11 mastermind terrorist Osama bin Laden. Many members of the GOP, including a good number of presidential hopefuls, have performed amazing acts of linguistic contortion so as to avoid mentioning the fact that President Obama is responsible for ordering the successful mission in which bin Laden was killed. Conservative political pundits have taken the same approach in an attempt to avoid that 800 pond gorilla in the room. These folks somehow praise everybody without even mentioning the current president. With all this revisionism, one might think that the conservatives are a little jealous that a Democratic Party president achieved in 2.5 years what Republican war-hawk George W. Bush could not achieve in over 7 years. Here are some examples of how they are ignoring Barack Obama’s role as Commander in Chief:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN):  “I want to express my deepest gratitude to the men and women of the U.S. military and intelligence community. Their persistence and dedicated service has yielded success in a mission that has gripped our nation since the terrible events of 9/11. Tonight’s news does not bring back the lives of the thousands of innocent people who were killed that day by Osama bin Laden’s horrific plan, and it does not end the threat posed by terrorists, but it is my hope that this is the beginning of the end of Sharia-compliant terrorism.”

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum:  “This is extraordinary news for all freedom loving people of the world, and I commend all those involved for this historic triumph. Americans have waited nearly ten years for the news of Osama bin Laden’s death. And while this is a very significant objective that cannot be minimized, the threat from Jihadism does not die with bin Laden. As we were vigilant in taking him out we need to demonstrate we will continue to be vigilant until the enemy has been subdued.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus:  “Today is a tremendous day for our nation and the world, but most importantly those who lost loved ones on that horrific day,” said Priebus. “Justice was delivered to a ruthless terrorist courtesy of men and women of the United States military. For nearly a decade, literally thousands of American service members, intelligence officers and civilians have made it their mission to capture or kill the mastermind of September 11th. Tonight we honor their work and congratulate them on a job well done.”

Failed 2008 Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee:  “It has taken a long time for this monster to be brought to justice. Welcome to hell, bin Laden. Let us all hope that his demise will serve notice to Islamic radicals the world over that the United States will be relentless in tracking down and terminating those who would inflict terror, mayhem and death on any of our citizens.”

Failed 2008 Candidate For Vice President and Quitting Half-Term Gov. of Alsaka, Sarah Palin:  “Yesterday was a testament to the military’s dedication in relentlessly hunting down an enemy through many years of war, and we thank our president. … We thank President Bush for having made the right calls to set up this victory.”

Radio Host and Drug Addicted Racist Rush Limbaugh: (Sarcastically said) “President Obama – not a single intelligence adviser, not a single national security adviser, not a single military adviser came up with the idea of using Seal Team Six or any of the Special Forces. Our military wanted to go in there and just scorch the Earth leaving no evidence of anything after the mission. But President Obama single-handedly understood what was at stake here. He alone understood the need to get DNA. To prove the death, Obama alone understood the aftermath, alone understood that there would be doubting Thomases if the place was just obliterated and no evidence was to be found.”

Fox News: The Republican propaganda network broadcasted the following headline, “Obama Bin Laden Dead”.

All of this simply proves that there are some really strange ones on the right.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDA33hGFNgQ&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

A Victory For Obama And Our Nation

The next time your hear some brain-dead conservative proclaim that George W. Bush also deserves credit for the apprehension of Osama bin Laden, simply show them this:

Welcome to your second term, Barack Obama!