Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 72

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Democrats Are Smarter Than Republicans And Computers” features Rep. Russ Holt (D-NJ), Rep. Bill Cassidy (R-LA) and the IBM-powered supercomputer known as “Watson“. In a game of Jeopardy, the Democrat bested both the computer and the Republican who came in third. The question remains however, why would the Republicans choose somebody from Louisiana in the first place?

THIS JUST IN: Just wondering, but how long do you think it will take for the newly energized million or so union workers of Wisconsin to begin a recall petition against newly elected Teapublican Governor Scott Walker?

BREAKING NEWS: To give you a hint at the answer to the question asked just above, the most recent New York Times/CBS News poll reveals that Americans oppose weakening the bargaining rights of public employee unions by a margin of nearly two to one: 60 percent to 33 percent.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “We Can Only Hope” features Fox News chairman Roger Ailes who allegedly may face an indictment for instructing an employee to lie to the feds in an attempt to protect his BFF Rudolph Giuliani.

BREAKING NEWS: A little known fact has been flying under the radar since January. Moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann‘s Tea Party congressional caucus has been shrinking. The caucus had 52 members in the 111th Congress but only 50 in the 112th Congress. Leave it to wacky Bachmann to drive even the nutty Tea-Baggers away.

THIS JUST IN: We are still waiting for Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) to reveal the identity of his alleged childhood sexual molester to law enforcement agencies. The longer he refuses to identify this deviant, the longer the molester is a potential threat to more children. As the 2012 elections creep closer, Brown must realize that neither Massachusetts Democrats, Independents nor Republicans are likely to support a candidate that enables a child molester to roam freely in the Commonwealth. This story is not going away.

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News Comment of the week. Fox News Headline: Court Clears Delaware Cinema of Racial Bias In Telling Black patrons to Stay Quiet. Reader Comment: The real problem with this country is blacks. And sooner or later we are going to have to deal with it.Train yourselves and your children!!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Making Friends With The Palins” features former failed GOP Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. The former Arkansas governor and possible 2012 Republican presidential candidate criticized the actress Natalie Portman this week on a conservative radio show for being pregnant and unmarried. Huckabee said, “There aren’t really a lot of single moms out there that are making millions of dollars each year by being in a movie. I think it gives a distorted image that not everybody hires nannies and caretakers and nurses. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and would not get healthcare.” I wonder if he is willing to say the same thing about Bristol Palin? Unlike Bristol Palin, Portman attended Harvard University and graduated with a degree in psychology.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s fun statistic. The DailyBeast.com writes that an analysis of 20 years of politicians’ sex scandals reveals that Republicans have more of them – 34 since 1990, compared with 27 for Democrats. More interesting however, is the finding that Republicans have had more scandals that involved prostitutes, politicians claiming to stand for “family values”, and underage boys; while democrats’ scandals are more likely to involve female staffers, sexual harassment and underage girls. Read into that what you will.

THIS JUST IN: In case you were wondering, AAA reports that the average national price for a gallon of regular gasoline yesterday was $3.493 and rising.

In light of the fact that we are suffering from ever-increasing gasoline prices as the result of the turmoil in the middle-east, Lynnrockets has decided to forego the usual song parody today in favor of a particularly spot-on song by The Kinks from their 1979 Low Budget album. The song is titled “A Gallon of Gas” and it describes the state of affairs during the economic downturn of the mid-to-late 1970′s. As you can see, history does in fact have a way of repeating itself. Please enjoy the following video and song lyrics!

A Gallon Of Gas (The Kinks)

I’ve been waiting for years to buy a brand new cadillac
But now that I’ve got one I want to send it right back
I can’t afford the gas for my luxury limousine
But even if I had the dough no one’s got no gasoline

I went to my local dealer to see if he could set me straight
He said there’s a little gas going but you have to wait
But he offered some red hot speed and some really high grade hash
But a gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere for any amount of cash

I can score you some coke and some grade one grass
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
I’ve got some downers some speed all the drugs that you need
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
I love your body-work, but you’re really no use
How can I drive you when I got no juice?
Because it’s stuck in neutral and my engine’s got no speed
And the highways are deserted
and the air smells unnaturally clean.

It’s got power-assisted overdrive and carpets on the floor,
but it’s parked out front just like a dead dinosaur.
And I’ll be paying off the bank for 45 years or more.
It should go 100 miles an hour,
but it’s never moved away from my door.

Who needs a car and a seven-forty-seven
When you can’t buy a gallon of gas
Who needs a highway, an airport or a jet
When you can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
You can’t buy a gallon of gas

Sarah Palin: Wiil She Or Won’t She?

The ever unpredictable Sarah Palin is keeping the pundits guessing again. This time the question is: “Will she or won’t she run for President?” Last night she refused to even give her Fox News co-conspirator Bill O’Reilly the inside scoop. While appearing on “The O’Reilly Factor”, she only said that her decision as to whether she will run is still “months away”. Over at MSNBC however, host Lawrence O’Donnell has already declared that Palin will not run. He said that she is too beholden to her million dollar salary at Fox to give it up for a certain doomed presidential run. As you can see, the pundits’ opinions as to whether the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska are like sphincters. You know, everybody has one!

Nevertheless, we were treated to a couple of more in-depth and/or unique takes on Sarah Palin this week. The first was in a Boston Globe editorial by Scott Lehigh on Friday, titled “2012: Yes, Maybe and Unelectable”. Lehigh’s contention is that if “you start with the assumption that a candidate must have a plausible path to both the nomination and the presidency, the prospects of the might-be candidates fall into three categories: Believable, conceivable, and unachievable.” He places Sarah Palin in the category of “unachievable”.  Lehigh succinctly states that she was ,

“So far over her head in 2008 that some of John McCain’s own advisers fretted at the prospect of having her a septuagenarian heartbeat away from the presidency, Palin has hardly allayed doubts about herself since. If the GOP really wants a lighter-than-air disaster, why not just nominate the Hindenburg?”

By the way, Lehigh also places Newt Gingrich, Haley Barbour , Rick Santorum, Ron Paul and moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann in the unachievable categaory. As for his insightful take on the rest of the GOP contenders and pretenders, please read his great editorial here.

Slate.com is also offering an innovative prognostication tool known as the “Palin Meter”. This device measures the percentage probability that Sarah Palin will run for the Presidency on a daily basis. For instance, as of March 3rd, Slate states that there is a 45% chance that she will run and that is 6% lower than the previous day. Slate describes the drop as resulting from Fox News‘ failure to suspend Palin as they did Gingrich and Santorum (who the network believes will both be running). Additionally, they predict that all of Palin’s recent poor polling may dissuade her. On the up-side however, Slate references Palin’s recent rash of tweeting and the fact that Dana Millbank’s “Palin-Free Month” has now ended. The website states, “Palin obviously wouldn’t have wanted to drop any big news without him along for the ride.”

Although we must all continue to speculate on a Palin candidacy, one thing is certain. Progressive bloggers everywhere are praying that Sarah Palin runs for President. The laughs will be off the charts if she is involved in any primary debates.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oL0YSYz4eo

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

John Boehner Is The Fool On The Hill

This week’s episode of “Teapublicans Eating Their Own” features the Tea Party Nation and Republican House Speaker John Boehner (pronounced “boner”). Politico reports that Tea Party Nation wants to see Boehner defeated in the 2012 election.They are upset at what they believe to be the Speaker’s breaking of campaign promises to legislate the “Tea Party Way”.

The Tea-Baggers are primarily angry about the spending proposal recently passed in the House that would fund the government for the rest of fiscal year 2011 – which ends September 30. Although it would cut $61 billion from current spending levels, it falls far short of the $100 billion that Boehner and other Republicans promised to cut while campaigning last autumn. Judson Phillips, the founder of Tea Party Nation said, “The Republicans in the House quickly went squishy on that and had to be cajoled into cutting only $61 billion. Now, John Boehner is saying when the Senate comes back and they start negotiating…the $61 billion figure is not safe.” Phillips told CNN, “We’re getting more of the same political games as we have gotten in the past.”

Consequently, Phillips directed an attack directly at Boehner on the group’s website this week. He wrote,

“You look like a fool. Charlie Sheen is now making more sense than John Boehner.”

When asked by CNN if he was delivering an ultimatum, the Tea Party leader responded: “Yes.” He continued, “If Boehner doesn’t get up there, get on the ball, and start getting us some serious budget cuts –- I’m going to do whatever I can to have someone run a primary against Boehner.”

It is becoming more evident every day that there is a troubling split in conservative political circles. Establishment Republicans and Tea-Baggers are beginning to resemble the Hatfields and McCoys. The establishment Republicans are more realistic as to what conservative policies they might be capable of enacting with a Democratic Senate and President, while the wildly radical newly-elected Tea Partiers are facing a reality that they do not like and claim they will not accept. The feuding injures both camps. So long as each faction threatens to run candidates against the other, the GOP constituent base is being split. That bodes well for Democrats in 2012.

Is anything more satisfying than watching conservatives cannibalize each other? By the way, any day that John Boehner and Charlie Sheen are mentioned in the same sentence, is a good day for the Democratic Party!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“The Fool On The Hill” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg1k_G6fRpQ

THE FOOL ON THE HILL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
On Capitol Hill
Boehner is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
He is just a Koch brothers’ tool
And he has not one good answer
John’s the fool on the Hill

John goes out on the town
Drinks his nose a bright red
He’s an orange-skinned clown

“Hell No” he’ll say
Sporting a frown
John’s deaf to the people’s voices
Doesn’t care if they drown

The Tea Party also jeers him
For the promises he does break
Boehner never seems to notice
He’s the fool on the Hill

Clouds are gathering round
John’s lost all his street cred
Bedding lobbyists down

(spray-tan break)

And nobody seems to like him
He has become yesterday’s news
His leadership role is reeling
John’s the fool on the Hill

His support’s leaving town
And his backers have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool on the Hill

His support’s leaving town
And his backers have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Palin Displays Her Constitutional Ignorance Yet Again.

She is like a pet parrot that keeps repeating the same thing over and over again regardless of context. You cannot have reasoned discourse with a parrot and you cannot have reasoned discourse with Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is, without question, the most ignorant pseudo-politician on this nation’s national political stage. She made that evident once again yesterday when she commented on the Supreme Court’s 8 to 1 decision in the Westboro Baptist Church case.

By an overwhelming majority (something that is more rare than $3.00 gas), the usually bitterly divided Supreme Court of the United States held that members of the Westboro Baptist Church had a right to promote what they call a broad-based message on public matters such as wars, by means of holding angry, anti-gay protests at the funerals of U.S. military members. The father of a fallen Marine had sued the small church, saying those protests amounted to targeted harassment and an intentional infliction of emotional distress. The Court disagreed and upheld the church’s First Amendment right to freedom of speech.

At issue was a delicate test between the privacy rights of grieving families and the free speech rights of demonstrators, however disturbing and provocative their message. The radically conservative Chief Justice John Roberts wrote for the majority,

“Speech is powerful. It can stir people to action, move them to tears of both joy and sorrow, and — as it did here — inflict great pain. On the facts before us, we cannot react to that pain by punishing the speaker.” Instead, the national commitment to free speech, he said, requires protection of “even hurtful speech on public issues to ensure that we do not stifle public debate.”

The New York Times wrote, “Chief Justice Roberts used sweeping language culled from the First Amendment canon of foundational decisions in setting out the central place free speech plays in the constitutional structure. “Debate on public issues should be robust, uninhibited and wide-open,” he wrote, because “speech on public issues occupies the highest rung of the hierarchy of First Amendment values.”‘

Also from the Times, “Chief Justice Roberts wrote that two primary factors required a ruling in favor of the church. First, he said, its speech was on matters of public concern. While the messages on the signs carried by its members “may fall short of refined social or political commentary,” he wrote, “the issues they highlight — the political and moral conduct of the United States and its citizens, the fate of our nation, homosexuality in the military and scandals involving the Catholic clergy — are matters of public import.” Second, the members of the church “had the right to be where they were.” They were picketing on a public street 1,000 feet from the site of the funeral; they complied with the law and with instructions from the police, and they protested quietly and without violence.” Hence, “Any distress occasioned by Westboro’s picketing turned on the content and viewpoint of the message conveyed, rather than any interference with the funeral itself.”’

So you see, it is obvious that this particular case dealt with the First Amendment’s protection of the right to free speech from government interference. That is, the legal basis of the decision is obvious to everyone except the ignorant Sarah Palin. Within hours of the decision, Palin took to the sophomoric means of communication known as Twitter and tweeted,

“Common sense & decency absent as wacko “church” allowed hate msgs spewed@ soldiers’ funerals but we can’t invoke God’s name in public square”

Palin, as usual, confuses the Establishment Clause and the Free Exercise Clause of the First Amendment with the free speech portion. The Estabishment Clause states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion”. Together with the Free Exercise Clause (“… or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”), these two clauses make up what are called the “religion clauses” of the First Amendment. Palin fails to understand that merely because one of the parties to this case was a church, it does not mean that the “religion clauses” of the First Amendment are automatically invoked. The Westboro case had nothing to do with the government attempting to limit the  “free exercise” of religion or the separation of church and state.

Sarah Palin has an embarrassing history of invoking the principle of free speech at odd times and well out of context. In 2008 during a radio interview she said, “If they convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations, then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.” You might also recall that back in 2009 after beauty pageant queen Carrie Jean Prejean was criticized by some for her anti-gay marriage stance, Palin said, “The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable. Our Constitution protects us all – not just those that agree with the far left.”  Then, just last year while defending Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who retired after she faced intense criticism for using the N-word on her radio show. Palin tweeted,

“Dr.Laura:don’t retreat…reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence”isn’t American,not fair”)” and “Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice,America!”

These statements by Sarah Palin prove that she cannot grasp the meaning of the First Amendment’s protection of free speech. She fails to comprehend that it bars the government from halting free speech. It does not have anything to do with whether a person is free to say things without being criticized. The government had taken no action with regard to Prejean’s, Schlessinger’s or to Palin’s words. Moreover, members of the public had every right to criticize those words. To paraphrase Justin Elliott from Salon.com, under Palin’s warped interpretation of the First Amendment, criticism of those persons with whom she agrees is unconstitutional, but peaceful protests with a message she does not agree with should be prohibited.

It is obvious why it took Sarah Palin six years at five safety-schools before obtaining a college degree. She is not very smart.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

“Woman” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaToLHdWpMw&feature=fvst

PALIN

(sung to the John Lennon song “Woman”)

Palin, I can hardly express,
My great amusement at your ignorance
The Constitution, you just do not get
Yet Sarah, I will try to express,
My satisfaction and thankfulness,
For showing me your endless helplessness
Oooh well, well,
Oooh well, well,

Palin, why can’t you understand,
Peaceful protests should not be banned
Please remember the Founding Fathers’ plans
And Sarah, you are a work of art
Like felt wall-hangings you find at Walmart
Pretty soon you’ll be “Dancing With The Stars”
Oooh well, well,
Oooh well, well,

Well,
Palin, please let me explain,
You can’t be president if you have no brain.
So let me tell you again and again and again,
I loathe you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I loathe you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I loathe you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I loathe you (yeah, yeah) …

Mike Huckabee(Hound) Is Actually As Stupid As He Looks

If you have any doubt as to the competency of Mike Huckabee, simply remember that Republicans chose the elderly and addle-minded John McCain as their presidential nominee in 2008, rather than  be represented by the former Arkansas governor. Think about that for a moment. More Republicans had confidence in a stuttering, flip-flopping wife-cheater than in the former preacher.

History has a habit of repeating itself and Huckabee is pondering another presidential run in 2012. Problem is, he is still a stupid man. Need evidence of that? Well, while being interviewed by New York radio station WOR on Monday, Huckabee stated that President Barack Obama grew up in Kenya. This was no mere slip of the tongue either. Huckabee went on to describe in detail why Obama’s world view was influenced by his Kenyan upbringing. Of course Obama was actually raised in Hawaii and Indonesia, but Huckabee never lets facts get in the way of a good story. He said,

“I would love to know more. What I know is troubling enough. And one thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, very different than the average American. His perspective as growing up in Kenya with a Kenyan father and grandfather, their view of the Mau Mau Revolution in Kenya is very different than ours because he probably grew up hearing that the British are a bunch of imperialists who persecuted his grandfather.”

Not only is Mike Huckabee misinformed as to where his president grew up, but he also seems to forget that many early Americans also viewed the British as “a bunch of imperialists”. Hence, the American Revolution which he so often references. But what can we expect besides misinformation from a Fox News employee?

Today’s song parody references how the allegedly tough-on-crime former governor granted clemency to Mo Clemmons. You might recall that Clemmons was convicted in 1989 on a string of felony charges including aggravated robbery, burglary and possession of a gun , and sentenced to a jaw-dropping 108 years. He had more than two dozen rule violations while in prison, including citations for fighting in 1998 and 1997, yet Huckabee lobbied for his release. Within a year of his release however, he was back in prison on robbery charges. Huckabee pardoned him once again. Then Clemmons was shot and killed as authorities tried to apprehend him for the shooting deaths of four Washington police officers. Good work Mike!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Oh, Christmas Tree” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQRTk1RvFH8

MIKE HUCKABEE

(sung to the Christmas song “Oh, Christmas Tree”)

Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
Why did you free Mo Clemmons?
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
It leaves a taste like lemons
In Jail he was locked up real tight
To set him free was not too bright
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
Why did you free Mo Clemmons?

Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
You unleashed a cop killer
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
Your future’s in the chiller
Now they’ll say you are soft on crime
You freed that creep from doing time
Mike Huckabee, Mike Huckabee
You unleashed a cop killer

Christine O’Donnell Says “No” To Dancing But “Yes” To Writing

Unfortunately, we learned this morning that we will be deprived of the chance to laugh out loud at this season’s version of “Dancing With The Stars”. It was announced that Christine O’Donnell will not participate in the greatly anticipated parade of fools. This means that we have been denied the opportunity to guffaw at yet another political conservative as they try to get their “cool-on”. Remember Tom “Convicted Felon” Delay’s effeminate rendition of “Wild Thing”? Could anyone forget Bristol Palin’s gorilla suit? Oh, what could have been as Christine O’Donnell donned her witch costume or pranced around carrying a vibrator.

But alas, we must carry-on without the twice-failed Teapublican candidate for a Delaware Senate seat. There is a silver lining however. In a statement, O’Donnell says she instead wants to devote her time to completing a book on the 2010 election. She said:

“I’m honored to have been invited to participate in one of the few uplifting TV shows out there. The physical challenge made it all the more appealing. Meeting challenges head-on makes us stronger. Yet, for now, I have another challenge before me; to complete a book that tells the story of the 2010 election cycle with the dignity and respect it deserves. It is my hope that this book will serve as a clarion call to my fellow citizen-activists by taking the reader beyond petitions and protests and articulating not just what we should do, but why we must do it.”

“My goal is for the book and the new PAC I’m starting to serve as resources to activate and motivate those in this middle-class movement who worked so hard to launch the new revolution. If either of these projects were further along, I would be lacing up my dancing shoes right now.”

Christine O’Donnell will follow in the footsteps of her “Mama Grizzly” Sarah Palin and write a memoir. It is certain to be a compelling read as she describes in lurid detail, her date on a satanic alter. She may relate all her deep insightful bedtime thoughts while she was busy not masturbating. She might more fully describe her statement to Bill Maher that “evolution is a myth”. She can even provide us with her interpretation of the U.S. Constitution which she believes provides for a full co-mingling of church and state. Finally, we can only assume that the final chapter will be devoted to her defense of the federal investigation into her alleged misuse of campaign contributions for such personal purposes as rent, food and vacation travel. Oh, this book should be a doozy.

Stay tuned for more details.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Everyday I Write The Book” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFunjzyIsE&feature=player_embedded

EVERYDAY SHE WRITES HER BOOK

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Everyday I Write The Book”)

We must thank the Lord up above us
O’Donnell is such a go-getter
We’ll soon learn much more ‘bout this debtor
She got few votes, but she won’t be a footnote
She’s a girl on a mission writing her first edition

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Chapter One, masturbating is just so wrong
Chapter Two, the recipe for witch’s brew
Her times with Hannity are the subject of Chapter Three
All of those embarrassing pics in Chapters Four, Five and Six

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

The lies she hawked
Her hate-fueled talk, she was so pissy, we laughed
In four or five paragraphs
Christine’s vile nonsense and her insane remarks
Are captured there in her quotation marks

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Everyday she writes her book

Tho’ her book may be met with indifference
She’s not a lover she’s a fighter
With her pen and her electric typewriter
She’ll be living in her world as a martyr with no equal
She’ll still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book