Monthly Archives: March 2011

Lynnrockets Unveils “Kevin’s Blog – A Liberal Dose Of Reality”

Lynnrockets with an unlikely friend

Lynnrockets is back. The weekend with Canadian buddies turned into somewhat of a lost weekend. Now that the cobwebs have cleared it is time to get back to work. As many of you already know, I won (with the help of you Rocketeers) a contest to be the liberal political blogger for Boston talk radio station WRKO 680 AM. Well, today is the day that the blog debuted. It was not an easy transition. The process involved many meetings with the station brass and I am still struggling to learn the workings of the station’s blogging program. That being said, you can find my radio blog here. I would truly appreciate it if some of you could venture over to that site and leave a comment or two so that it can get up off the ground. I know that I can count on you.

Here is the post which is presently on www.wrko.com/blog/kevin:

Hello folks. My name is Kevin McCarthy and yes, I am a Democrat. The Democrat is by far the most abundant life form on the Massachusetts terra firma but he is a rare and endangered species on the airwaves these days. Take a look at this radio station’s daily lineup of hosts and you will discover the existence of just one pseudo-Democrat in the lot. The same can be said of Boston’s only other major talk radio station over on the FM band. They are both chock-full of local Teapublicans. In contrast, Boston’s only liberal station is hampered by weak signal strength and a lineup which lacks local talent and consists almost entirely of nationally syndicated hosts. In short, like Rodney Dangerfield, the Massachusetts Democrat “gets no respect” on the air.

Until now. WRKO, to its credit, has done something to even the playing field just a little bit. The station has been gracious enough to allow me the opportunity to spout-off on this blog. Please be forewarned that most of the satire, humor and vitriolic content of this blog will be knowingly and purposely aimed and directed at the conservative right-wing members of the Grand Old Party, their alter-ego the Tea Party and those members of the media that support them. In other words, if you do not like the thought of the likes of Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter being barbecued before your eyes, then now is the time to leave and never return. On the other hand, if that is the sort of stuff that grinds your beans, then put on your tinfoil helmet, strap yourself in and enjoy the flight.

My thoughts and ideas however, will not go unopposed. I have been provided a worthy conservative adversary by the name of Edward Kelleher who’s blog can be found here. On any given day we may comment on the same topic in a sort of cross-fire format, or we may simply describe what is on our minds at the present moment. Additionally, although I cannot speak for Ed, I welcome any and all comments whether they be friendly or contrary. I only request that the language be kept somewhat within the bounds of decency. I have a firm belief in the adage that “reasonable people may differ” and that the give and take of differing opinions strengthens our society.

In an attempt to add some levity to my blog posts, I will try to write and post a song parody most every day. I will also post a link (audio or video) that will help readers to either reacquaint themselves or familiarize themselves with the actual tune of each song parody. I hope that these contributions will amuse you. Perhaps on occasion, one of these parodies will become that annoying tune that you cannot get out of your head for the rest of the day.

So what do you say? Let’s get started.

Last night I attended the Salem State University Speaker Series which featured Newt Gingrich. Despite the discomfort of listening to conservative policy justifications at these sort of events, I believe that it is important to listen to what the opposition is saying. It provides both a chuckle and an insight into the workings of the deviant mind. The surreal mood of last night’s event was heightened by the fact that I was accompanied by a Sarah Palin celebrity impersonator. She is the most spot-on celebrity look-alike that I have ever seen. She has mastered every nuance, gesture and even the speech pattern of Alaska’s Queen of Quit. We were seated in the 6th row of the center section of the much less than sold-out auditorium.(Best online Salem News comment: “P.S. If all of his former wives had been there it might have sold out!”) My partner’s presence caused quite a stir in the audience and I hope that it un-nerved Newt Gingrich just a bit. He does, as we all know, have a wandering eye when it comes to women.

Newt Gingrich of course, is the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House that was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich was a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Word was, that at last night’s event he also had a case of wandering eyes and hands on more than one occasion.

Gingrich announced that he would speak about job creation and entitlement reform, but the first 10 to 15 minutes of his diatribe consisted only of talk about his unsuccessful search for some kind of beer and chocolate ice cream diet. Next, he told a lengthy story about how the fall of the Soviet Union came about not as the result of anything done by Ronald Reagan, but rather by the Pope visiting his homeland of Poland in 1979 which invigorated the Solidarity movement. He said he wanted to eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency and he also surprisingly claimed that most Americans blame the Gulf Oil spill not on BP, but on the Obama Administration. Who knew? His only mention of entitlement reform was when he said “…Giving people money for doing nothing is fundamentally dangerous, because it teaches them to do nothing.” He did not however, comment on the fact that there are few if any jobs for these people to find. Indeed, by the time he wrapped things up, he barely touched upon his stated topic of job creation. He provided no specific plan and only said, “We have a fairly long history of creating jobs. It’s a pretty simple principle: Reward job creation, make it expensive not to create jobs.” Very tasty words but no meat to bite into. He did not a utter one single word about his desire that the Bush era tax cuts for those earning over $ 250,000.00 be made permanent. Perhaps the reason is that the facts prove that those tax cuts do not lead to job creation.

When George W. Bush signed into law the temporary tax cuts of 2001 and 2003 our nation slipped into the slowest period of job growth by any president since World War II. During his tenure, job growth was less than one-tenth of one percent. In contrast, after having raised taxes on that segmment of society to 39% (from the existing 31%) the job creation rate under Bill Clinton surged to 4.46% for the duration of his two terms. The argument made by Gingrich and other conservatives late last year was that if the Bush tax cuts were allowed to expire on the wealthy, job creation would be stymied, but if they were extended, employers would begin to hire once again. The conservatives got their wish when the tax cuts for the wealthy were extended through 2013 but where is the promised job creation? During the last year corporations and CEO’s have reported some of the biggest profits and bonuses in history yet they still resist creating jobs in this country. It is an undeniable fact that American businesses have added many jobs since the tax cuts were extended. Problem is, those jobs have been given to people that live in other countries.

Newt Gingrich failed to address those inconvenient facts last night in the same way that he failed to address his ouster from Congress and his serial marital infidelity. He may not want to discuss those things presently, but should he decide to run for the presidency, he will be forced to address them in the primary debates. He is in for some serious John Edwards treatment should he decide to run for president. He deserves it too!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work-release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticizing ol’ Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Weekend At Lynnie’s

As the saying goes, “All work and no play makes Lynnrockets a dull boy”. Consequently, your friendly neighborhood scribe and lyricist is taking the weekend off for some fun and frivolity. This weekend we will be having a long overdue visit from two former hockey playing buddies from Canada. We hope to drink some beer and raise some hell. Unfortunately as the result of advancing age, we will probably just drink some beer and reminisce about the days when we were capable of raising some hell.

Yours truly already has a leg-up on his Amis de Quebec because the Boston Bruins trounced the Montreal Canadiens by a score of 7 to 0 last night. In an effort to add insult to injury, we will be taking them to the Boston Garden on Saturday to watch the Bruins take-on the New York Rangers. Something tells me  those Habs will be rooting for the Broadway Blue-Shirts.

Well, it’s time to head to the airport so as to greet my two favorite Canucks.

See you folks on Monday!

In the meantime, this music video seems appropriate.

Actually, maybe this illustrates the good ole days even better!

Will Voters Tell The Donald, “You’re Fired”?

Trump Is A Gas-Bag

Each passing day Donald Trump appears to be inching closer to announcing that he will run as a Republican candidate in 2012 for the office of President of the United States. It only makes sense inasmuch as the potential field of GOP candidates is already chock-full of certified lunatics like Sarah “Queen of Quit” Palin, Michele “Light-Bulb Loving” Bachmann, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum, Haley “Boss Hog” Barbour, Newt “Resign in Disgrace” Gingrich and Rudy “A Noun, A Verb and 9/11″ Giuliani. Adding Donald Trump to the mix is akin to stuffing an extra clown in the Volkswagen Beetle at the circus. Entertaining, yet harmless fun for the viewing audience.

Earlier this week The Donald announced that he will be headed to Iowa in June. While there, he will headline the state Republican Party’s annual Lincoln Dinner in Des Moines. Iowa of course, plays an important role in the presidential election because its caucuses are the first in the nation. Trump has also declared that he will speak in New Hampshire in June. That state is also considered to be critically important to any presidential candidate because it holds the nation’s first primary election. It should also be noted that Trump spoke at February’s CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) which is a “who’s who” of potential GOP presidential candidates. Trump maintains that he will formally announce his presidential intentions in June.

Donald Trump is a perfect fit for the Republican nomination because he shares so many traits with other Republican politicians. The thrice married “family values” Trump is a serial philanderer like Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich. He is a reality television series host like Sarah Palin. The former enthusiastic proponent of universal health care has now flip-flopped on the issue just like Mitt “Personal Mandates are Good” Romney. Trump is also a “Birther” like Michele Bachmann, who doubts that President Barack Obama was born in the United States. When you consider that The Donald has also filed for bankruptcy on at least 4 occasions, it begs the question, “who would be more suited to lead our nation out of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression?”

So, buy a box of popcorn and a horn of cotton candy, take your seat and enjoy this election cycle’s version of the Republican Bros. Flying Circus.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Big Bad John song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWKGhwwVgKY

BIG DUMB DON

(sung to the Johnny Cash song “Big Bad John”)

Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Every Tuesday at nine, you will see him arrive
He stands 6 foot 5, weighs 289
A reality show host who’s not very hip
He fires contestants if they should give him any lip, he’s Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

He wears a toupee atop his big dome
Donald Trump acts like a clown, still he seeks the throne
A dim-witted putz, he’s not a bright guy
Claims he robbed Quadafi but that’s a lie – Dumb Don
The nit-wit hails from the borough called Queens
And he has managed to file too many bankruptcies
Filed so many you can’t count them on one hand
Yet Trump still thinks he’ll lead the country to the promised land – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Head made of clay and he loses every dime
He owned a football team that lost all the time
Built a casino, it did not last
Then the taxpayers bailed out his sorry ass – Dumb Don
Through the dust and the smoke as his empire fell
Crawled this maggot of a man that will soon rot in hell
Called a willing banker and he begged for a loan
But when asked for collateral he said “it’s all been blown” – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

And now Donald Trump thinks that the Lord up above
Will stroke his election dreams with a velvet glove
Yet little does he know that he can’t be saved
Donald’s campaign is headed to the grave – Dumb Don
Don Trump won’t earn his seat in DC Town
Let’s all watch his big smile turn to a frown
And as The Donald learns life is unkind
All of us just knew it was the end of the line, for Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Let’s hope that we are done with this worthless twit
Even Tea-Baggers know Trump’s an idiot
If only the future could be planned
We would love to say, “You’re Fired!” to this shell of a man – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

We Will Return Shortly To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Lynnrockets (and many other WordPress bloggers) is experiencing some technical difficulties this morning. Apparently there has been some sort of glitch affecting the WordPress servers which has prevented us from accessing the backrooms of our blogs since yesterday afternoon. In layman’s terms that means we have not been able to write or publish new material until now. Unfortunately, Lynnrockets is busy working in the Boston judicial system today and as a consequence thereof, you Rocketeers will have to make do with a very hastily prepared blog entry.

In celebration of Sarah Palin’s recent junket to India and Israel we thought we might re-post a couple of older song parodies about the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s trips to Hong Kong and Kosovo. The nostalgia is running heavy today! Please enjoy (once again)! We will see you tomorrow with new material.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on both of the song links below to familiarize yourselves with the tunes and to have more fun singing along to the parodies.

Downtown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku-1hqA5xw

HONG KONG

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

When she’s not home cuz life is making her lonely
Know where Palin goes? – Hong Kong
She’ll have to hurry just to avoid snow flurries
And she hates the snow – Hong Kong
We all knew she would lose it staying in Wasilla City
Standing on a sidewalk like a hooker that we pity
Sarah’s a flooze

The lights are much brighter there
She can take a bath with bubbles, and do up her hair
She’ll go Hong Kong, things’ll be great there in
Hong Kong – she’ll do some face paintin’
Hong Kong – she’ll even buy some new shoes

In China-Town she’ll order champagne around two
And “go with the flow” – Hong Kong
She’ll grab some dough cuz she has places to go
And she’ll buy new clothes – Hong Kong
She thinks she’ll be a shining star just like a super-nova
But does she know that she’ll explode; stardom will be over
‘fore it begins?

The heights are much higher there
All the intensity doubles as will all her fears
Down in Hong Kong – she’ll be uptight alright
Hong Kong – without a clue that night
Hong Kong – Palin is no sacred cow

(tax break)

She’ll never find somebody kind that understands her world view
Someone who has got a clue not someone like the First Dude
Tagging along

She’ll see that life is not fair
She will leave town on the double, she’ll get out of there
No more Hong Kong, she will escape those shores
Hong Kong – She’ll head right out the door
Hong Kong – she’ll head straight back to Mat-Su

Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong

Kokomo song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VolRRTEQ2F8

KOSOVO

(sung to the Beach Boys song “Kokomo”)

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

From Albania east
There’s a place called Kosovo
That’s where Palin did go to get away from it all

Her jet plane did land
At an airbase in that foreign land
She’s the traveling Guv
We’ll be thinking of but we can’t stand
A clown in Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

Ooo we wanna make her stay in Kosovo
She’ll be their ass
And she’ll dress like a ‘ho
Way off in Kosovo
Way off in Kosovo

First Dude’s a geek, that snowsuit is tres chic

Sarah’s overseas
And she’s learning geography
By and by she will try a little foreign policy

Shooting wolves in flight
Beehive is pulled too tight
The way that she blinks her eyes
Should creep out the National Guard guys
Way off in Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

Ooo we wish she’d settle down in Kosovo
Please get there fast
And please take Plumber Joe
That’s where we wish they’d go
Way off to Kosovo

Preen and primp, Bristol could land a pimp

(Founding Fathers break)

She could make new foes
Most every day in Kosovo
Spending per diem dough
But she would sure miss the mall
Way off in Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
Germany, Mexico, places Sarah did go

Ooo we wish she’d settle down in Kosovo
Please get there fast
And please take Plumber Joe
That’s where we wish they’d go
Way off to Kosovo

Wasilla, Alaska oooo  off to Nebraska
New York and Canada and she can see Russia
(fading)

Sarah Palin’s “How To Lose Friends And Alienate Voters”

Not Anymore!

Sometimes you just have to give credit where credit is due. This time the kudos go to Sarah Palin. She has now definitively re-written the book on “How to Lose Friends and Alienate Voters.”

Earlier this week Sarah Palin did what all serious contenders for the Republican nomination for President of the United States must do. She traveled to Israel. This is a right of passage for all potential GOP candidates for POTUS. As a candidate, George W. Bush, Mitt Romney, Haley Barbour, Mike Huckabee, Tim Pawlenty, Newt Gingrich and many, many other Republicans have made this trip. The purpose of such a trip is to signal to the hawkish conservative right and to Jewish voters in the US that the candidate stands firm in his/her commitment to the nation of Israel. In return, the potential candidate hopes to reap Jewish/American campaign donations and votes. It is a win-win situation for both the candidate and Israel.

Such is not the case however with regard to Sarah Palin. Only the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska could manage to lose friends, money and votes by means of her trip. David Frum, a former special assistant to President George W. Bush from 2001 t0 2002 explains in a column written for CNN.com just how the Queen of Quit may have hurt herself with her visit to Israel.

Frum opines that Palin’s decision to book her trip through a Christian tour operator and not the Republican Jewish Coalition was a big mistake. He writes,

Joining an RJC Israel tour is a well-established ritual in gaining the support of the RJC’s board and the group’s 40,000 activist members.

The RJC’s board of directors includes four people who have served as national finance chairs for the Republican Party — the party’s “fundraiser-in-chief.” Eight board members have run major donor groups within the GOP and 18 members served as state finance chairs for George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004. It also includes some less distinguished figures — me, for example.

The RJC local chapters are active in almost every state. Jewish Republican may seem a minority of a minority, but the local chapters contain disproportionate numbers of local Republican activists — the kind of people who make a difference in a state primary…

Over the months since November 2008, the RJC had repeatedly offered to organize an Israel tour for Palin. They have repeatedly invited Palin to speak at their meetings. As a member of the RJC board, I know that Palin’s team engaged in extended conversations about these invitations. Yet they were abruptly shelved. The RJC organization learned that its invitation would not be accepted the same way everybody else did: by reading the newspaper.

Over two months of campaigning in September and October 2008, Palin’s poll numbers tumbled among women and independents. Yet even after the November 2008 loss, Palin remained hugely popular among Republicans.

She has spent the past 2½ years throwing that popularity away, piece by piece. Palin has worked hard to convince even the most ardent Republicans that she would be a doomed candidate and a disastrous president.

With the particular plan she chose for her trip to Israel, Palin alienated a few more potential friends — important ones.

So there you have it. Once again Sarah Palin has managed to make a rose smell like manure.

Inasmuch as we are still talking about the Israel trip, Lynnrockets has the opportunity to re-post a song parody which was originally posted last Saturday. We generally prefer to compose new song parodies as much as possible but since this particular song appeared only on the weekend when readership is down, we thought we would post it once again. Please enjoy!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Hava Naguila song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_G1jF4Pnh0

SHE’S FROM WASILLA

(sung to the Harry Belafonte version of  “Hava Naguila”)

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
She’s there to lend a hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Waiving her hundred-grand
Universally panned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

Low-rent thought-chiller
A Phyllis Diller
She hates Ben Stiller
Sarah Palin

Next trip? Manila
Speak with gorilla
She’s not vanilla
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Crib notes upon her hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
A flaming fire-brand
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Sporting her desert tan
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Next stop is Disney Land
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obsceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene
That’s Sarah Paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

Low-Life Limbaugh Mocks Japanese Quake Victims

If there is any substance to the Buddhist theory of karma (i.e. a person’s words and actions will affect his future fate), then right-wing radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh has a lot to worry about. A few days ago ABC News aired a segment featuring Diane Sawyer in which Ms. Sawyer commented that despite the fact they were reduced to living in a refugee camp as the result of last week’s devastating earthquake and tsunami, the Japanese continued to recycle their trash. Limbaugh then mocked the Japanese people and environmentalists for their actions.

Limbaugh of course,  is not a very well educated man. He flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. As evidence of his lack of commitment and self control, he has also been married four times and is an admitted drug addict.

Limbaugh is also a blatant racist. He resigned under pressure in 2003 after only a very brief stint co-hosting ESPN‘s “Sunday NFL Countdown” after he claimed that quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed. (BTW, McNabb is still playing professional football). Later, he talked about football once again when he said, “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons”. Limbaugh also once referred to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as a “cracker who made African-Americans millionaires”.  Remember when he said, “The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies”? How about when he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back”? The examples of Limbaugh’s racism go on and on but we will leave the rest of his past offenses for another time.

For now, let’s concentrate on Limbaugh’s latest atrocity; mocking the Japanese quake victims. The situation occurred when a person called into Limbaugh’s radio show and asked,

“I need some of your wisdom. I’m confused. At the top of the first hour, you played a clip. Diane Sawyer, I believe, about the recycling that is still going on in Japan. If these are the people that invented the Prius, have mastered public transportation, recycling, why did mother earth, Gaia if you will, hit them with this disaster.”

Limbaugh responded,
“Did I really hear this? Did I really hear — Diane Sawyer is in a refugee camp in Japan. My god, she sounds like she saw her husband for the first time in six months there. Oh, it’s recycling, look, organized for — these people are in the midst of earthquake devastation and the credit they’re getting is for recycling and our caller Chris with a great question. The Japanese have done so much to save the planet. He’s right. They’ve given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are still recycling their garbage, and yet Gaia levels them [laughs], just wipes them out. Wipes out their nuclear plants, all kinds of radiation. What kind of payback is this? That is an excellent question. They invented the Prius. In fact, where Gaia blew up is right where they make all these electric cars. That’s where the tsunami hit. All those brand new electric cars sitting there on the lot. I like the way this guy was thinking. It’s like — it’s like Gaia hit the Prius in [inaudible]. It’s like they were in the cross-hairs, if we can use that word, it does. What is Gaia trying to tell us here? What is the mother of environmentalism trying to say with this hit? Great observation out there, Chris”
How’s that for an example of inhumane insensitivity? Rather than commend the distraught victims of this horrible tragedy for their steadfast commitment to preserving the environment despite their predicament, Limbaugh chose to kick them while they are down by implying that mother earth punished the Japanese people for earth-saving measures. If there is such a thing as karma, Rush Limbaugh best keep looking over his shoulder.
By the way, will Limbaugh ever keep his promise to move to Costa  Rica? It has now been more than a year a since he promised to move there if ObamaCare was passed into law. Apparently that was just another Limbaugh lie.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the song and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mockingbird song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOqD3uMIRs&feature=related

TALKING TURD

(sung to the Carly Simon/James Taylor song “Mockingbird”)

Talk (yeah) ing (yeah) turd (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Talking Turd

Now, everybody sure has heard
Rush Limbaugh the big fat talking turd
That loudmouth talking turd is king
Of all those racists in the right-wing
But those in the right-wing front line
Are busy planning for their next hate crime
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

Hear me now and understand
Rush lives only to hate and malign
And if ratings decline someday
Limbaugh will spread hate in another way
And if that other way makes dough
He’ll ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

(Oxy Contin Break)

Now, everyone should doubt his word
Rush Limbaugh is just a talking turd
And when that talking turd does sing
We can tell he’s just a ding-a-ling
And when that ding-a-ling just whines
Yes, Republicans will still think he shines
And there’s a reason why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Listen now and understand
Rush Limbaugh surely has lost his mind
And though he drugged his mind away
The right-wing nuts still listen everyday
Like Sarah Palin and that Plumber, Joe
He’s a dead fish that just “goes with the flow”
And that’s the reason why he keeps on spreadin’ all that fear
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now, baby

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 74

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: The Washington Post reported this week that Wisconsin Democrats have already collected over 45% of the signatures required to hold recall elections for eight GOP state senators who voted in favor of the bill to roll back union collective bargaining rights. It is quite evident that Governor Walker and the state republicans have awakened the sleeping bear. Word is, it is really hungry.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Wisconsin, Think Progress reports Police estimated up to 100,000 people turned out in Madison, WI last Saturday to protest Gov. Scott Walker’s (R) assault on unions, making it bigger than any protests the city has ever witnessed. More noteworthy however, is that at 85,000-100,000, it was bigger than the biggest Tea Party protest, the September 12, 2009 rally in Washington, D.C., which turned out only an estimated 60,000-70,000. So, the next time some Tea Bagger tells you that the Tea Party is representative of the American people, enlighten him/her with that statistic.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s interesting factoid is that an estimated 2,405 Americans have been shot and killed since the January 8, 2011 Tucson massacre, adding to the grim toll of 400,000 felled by guns since Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated in 1968. (The estimate of gun murders and accidental deaths is based on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data.). By the way, none of the 18 mass shootings since May 2007 was stopped by a legal-handgun carrier. How is that for sane gun regulation policy in the United States?

THIS JUST IN: New Hampshire‘s state motto is “Live Free or Die”. Unfortunately, the Republican majority in the state to my immediate north has chosen to truly activate the second half of the state motto. ThinkProgress. com reports “the New Hampshire House approved a tax cut on cigarettes even while cutting funding for education, and health care. The ten cent tax cut bucks a national trend of raising taxes on tobacco since “forever” and, according to multiple studies, could lead to a 6.6 percent increase in respiratory cancer deaths.”

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of crazy states. This week Utah named the John M. Browning-designed M1911 pistol as a state symbol, becoming the first state in the nation to have a gun as an official symbol. How’s that for toning down violent rhetoric? The confused state already had 24 other “symbols”? This begs the question, what’s next? Perhaps the polygamous compound?

THIS JUST IN: Since we are on the topic of guns, you might be interested in this list of 4 year colleges that allow students to carry guns on campus: Colorado State University, Dixie State College of Utah, Southern Utah University, University of Utah, Utah State University, Utah Valley University, Weber State University (Utah), College of Eastern Utah and Snow College (Utah). The students of Utah sure love patriotically displaying the state symbol!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “This Sure Sounds A Little Creepy” features former White House correspondent Helen Thomas who will be appearing in the pages of next month’s Playboy Magazine. Actually, the magazine will only feature an interview with Ms. Thomas and not a centerfold. Nevertheless, it is always a bit creepy whenever Helen Thomas and Playboy Magazine are mentioned in the same sentence.

THIS JUST IN: Remember Sarah Palin’s “Mama Grizzly” Nikki Haley who was elected as governor of South Carolina last November? Well, NetworkedBlogs.com informs us that she is having a difficult time governing her state. She unveiled a plan to personally grade state legislators. Her misguided effort was criticized as an arrogant attempt to pressure elected leaders, who work for their constituents and are not accountable to anyone else including the Governor. Haley then faced some personal embarrassment of a financial nature when it was revealed that while she was still a state representative, she allegedly lied on a job application in order to get a larger pay-check from Lexington Medical Center. She stated she made over $100,000 in 2007, when her federal tax form showed her income at only $22,000.  Haley claims someone else must have filled out the form.  The mysterious someone just happened to know her social security number, computer password and sign-in, job history, past supervisors, education, and other personal details. Sarah Palin’s “Mama Grizzlies” all seem to have the same sketchy backgrounds as does Palin.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourself with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical Nikki Haley song parody.

Rikki, Don’t Lose That Number song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbIIwH9VsjM

NIKKI, JUST CHOOSE TO BLUNDER

(sung to the Steely Dan song “Nikki, Don’t Lose That Number”)

There’s no believin’ what you say
Looks like your little wild time has just begun
I guess you kind of snared yourself, yet you still run
But your campaign now falls apart

Nikki, just choose to blunder
Though you wanna blame somebody else
We saw those email letters, screwed yourself
Nikki, just choose to blunder
Your election is now blown
Exposed by all those email letters
You’ve wrecked your home

You and that Palin clown, are just the same
You both go out trolling down Tea Bag Row
Attempting to hide your sick games, they should know
That you both have a blackened hearts

Nikki, just choose to blunder
So they will elect somebody else
You know those email letters, screwed yourself
Nikki, just choose to blunder
Your mistakes are all your own
Exposed by all those email letters
Election’s blown

(instrumental)

South Carolinians must be blind
Keep electing the cheating kind
That state is just a world apart

Nikki, it is no wonder
That they should elect somebody else
They deserve someone better than yourself
Nikki, you must be dumber
Than a Sarah Palin clone
We will all be a whole lot better
When you’re sent home.

Nikki, just choose to blunder (Nikki, just chose to blunder)
Nikki, just choose to blunder

OY VEY! Sarah Palin Heads To Israel!

OK then. Now that the first leg of Sarah Palin’s two-legged world tour is over, let’s concentrate on stage two – Israel. Her goal remains the same. It is merely an attempt to bolster both her near non-existent foreign policy acumen as well as to flee her own nation in light of her ever-decreasing popularity among Republicans.

The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska plans to visit Israel for two days, and will meet with Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu and other members of Israel’s right-wing, including Likud MK Danny Danon, a Danon aide told The Jerusalem Post. One can only imagine the damage that Palin might possibly inflict upon the Israeli/Palistinian peace process if Netanyahu either A) can understand a single word she is talking about or B) adopts any of her recommendations on the subject. I can hear her now,

“Hey Ben, I just love those settlements in the West Bank. They remind me of those capitalistic gold-seekers who rushed to Alaska spreading freedom and oil all over our childrens future in the Great White People North!”

Politico.com reports that Palin’s Israel junket was booked not through diplomatic channels but through a Christian tour operator. That should ensure that Palin gets some kudos from the evangelical right who might have frowned upon a meeting with a non-christian politician. It will also guarantee that we will all soon be blessed with obligatory photos of the Queen of Quit stuffing a crib-note in a crevice of the Wailing Wall and dragging a faux crucifixion cross through the streets of Jerusalem. It is also likely that Palin’s band of followers will receive some sort of Facebook posting or Twitter tweet about how God spoke to her in the Holy City and told her whether or not to run for President, but that she should keep it a secret until later.

Despite all of her best efforts to enhance her foreign policy credentials however, there is still an ever-increasing number of Republicans and Independents that hope that Sarah Palin will remain overseas for the foreseeable future. Every single recent poll reveals that Palin is precipitously losing popularity within those groups. She has no hope of being elected President, yet her refusal to state her intentions clouds the GOP nomination waters. She is a problem that most Republicans wish would go away and stay away.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Hava Naguila song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_G1jF4Pnh0

SHE’S FROM WASILLA

(sung to the Harry Belafonte version of  “Hava Naguila”)

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
She’s there to lend a hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Waiving her hundred-grand
Universally panned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

Low-rent thought-chiller
A Phyllis Diller
She hates Ben Stiller
Sarah Palin

Next trip? Manila
Speak with gorilla
She’s not vanilla
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Crib notes upon her hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
A flaming fire-brand
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Sporting her desert tan
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Next stop is Disney Land
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obsceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene
That’s Sarah Paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

Palin Hopes To Smoke Peace-Pipe With Indians

Lynnrockets has just received a pirated copy of the highly secretive speech which Sarah Palin plans to deliver in India this weekend. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska will deliver the keynote address at the India Today Conclave in New Dehli, a gathering that also features Egyptian opposition leader Mohamed El Baradei and Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. It would appear that Palin is making the trip abroad in an attempt to both bolster her near non-existent foreign policy acumen as well as to flee her own nation in light of her ever-decreasing popularity among Republicans.

This speech will in no way improve her chances at a run for U.S. President. GlobalPost.com reports Palin is unlikely to share a confab with the Indian prime minister. She is on the guest list for the same reason she’s invited anywhere. The conclave is not a peace summit; it’s a for-profit enterprise designed to boost magazine revenue. And because of the circus that surrounds her — and the chance that she will say something surprising or baffling — Palin puts bottoms in seats.

Indeed, former Indian former foreign secretary Kanwal Sibal said,

“Let me put it this way: There will be no serious political attention paid to what she says, but it will be watched with some curiosity to see what potential faux pas she may make.”

Ouch! That is going to leave a mark!

Moving along, here is Sarah Palin’s speech:

Well hiya, Indians. How!

Ya know, I always wondered where curry and peace pipes came from, and now I know. Hey congratulations on not spreading the wealth around.

As a foremost expert on Energies and such I asked my son Trig if I should accept your offer to speak here tonight and he said hell-yeah!
Ya know the only thing more precious than a child, is a vision of an economic that ensures the greatness of achievements so the taxpayers freedoms remain free, like our founding fathers did before our childrens’ future, which is what I’m fighting for but the lametream media won’t let me because they keep making things up also and I wish they’d just quit it ya know?
Because Governing Alaska was just a leetle bit more qualifying than organizing black kids, you betcha, so that’s why I’m on Fox News all the time because basketball moms know the difference between helicopter wolf-hunting and clothes-shopping and when you read all the newspapers like I do you have to ask yourself the hard questions and get things done while protecting your shores because, as a mother, I have a fridge magnet that inspires me every day to keep going and keep fighting for things that are need to be done so that our kids can’t be indoctrinated by the nay-sayers who aren’t real Americans from which we can learn politics as usual isn’t what I’m all about and we should all ask ourselves, in what context? By the way, where’s the casino also, too?

Thank You.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Turning Japanese song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

LEARNING PALINESE

(sung to the Vapors song “Turning Japanese”)

She quotes from scripture
Says, “also too”
Limited world-view
Of that I knew
She was so daring to say, “thanks but no thank you”

Helen Keller
Was more profound
Poor Sarah Palin
Knows so few nouns
I reach for tissue every time that she expounds

Her book has pictures, yes lots of pictures
That’s why the worthless thing flew right off the shelf
Had a witch doctor concoct a mixture
That would drive her demons right on back to hell
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

I saw her picture, I saw her picture
And then I threw-up there all over myself
Sarah’s a talking Tea Party fixture
“Refudiating” things she just said herself
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

All sex and thugs and whining woman
All guns, dumb kin, no clue, she’s lost in the dark
She told us that “death panels” were a sure-fire danger
She speaks in tongues and babbles like a psycho ranger
Hope she runs

That’s why I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

(gibberish break)

Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Think so, think so, think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

A Happy St. Patrick’s Day To All You Rocketeers!!!

Crowds Panic As Flood Threatens Ireland!

Just a little Irish humor on this most wonderful of Holy Days.

In Boston we take our St. Patrick’s Day celebrations very seriously. This “most Irish of all American cities” celebrated with a paid holiday for all City of Boston municipal employees and Massachusetts state employees. You see, Boston political offices and the city payroll were dominated by the Irish for the past 150 years or so and those folks wanted a day-off to celebrate the Patron Saint of Ireland’s special day in a big way. Problem was, that whole “separation of church and state” thing. Not to be dissuaded however, the Irish did a little bit of historical research and sure and begorra they discovered that March 17th was the day in 1776 that British forces evacuated the city following the Siege of Boston. This was great news because they could now pass a law commemorating “Evacuation Day” as a legitimate paid holiday. As a nod to the true intent of their action however, the signatures on the bill were in green ink.

All good things however, must come to an end. In 2010, the state legislature debated eliminating Evacuation Day as an official holiday, citing the expense of giving state and local workers paid days off. The state’s FY2011 budget requires all state and municipal offices in Suffolk County be open on both days.

Lynnrockets however, is self employed and consequently the day shall be free for imbibing!

Until I return tomorrow, please enjoy some fine non-traditional Irish music and maybe a Guinness or two as well…

Sláinte!

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