Monthly Archives: December 2010
Lynnrockets’ Day Off
Lynnrockets needs a day of rest. After a week full of Christmas parties, end of year board meetings and decorating the house for the holidays, I simply forgot to prepare this week’s edition of “Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)”. It will however, return next week. Same Bat time. Same Bat channel. In the meantime, I intend to sit back and watch the Sunday morning talking heads followed by a slate of football. What’s that? Oh no! A few strings of Christmas lights on the front of the house have gone out? So much for resting. I’ll be outside for awhile (probably all day) trying to solve this frustrating problem. Well until tomorrow, please enjoy this Holiday Season inspired song parody about the potential Republican presidential candidates.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
My Favorite Things song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33o32C0ogVM
MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS
(sung to the Julie Andrews song “My Favorite Things”)
Mike is called “Moses” and Romney’s called “Mittens”
Jindal is running but can’t raise a pittance
All of those candidates want to be kings
They are some of my least favorite things
Most of them phonies with brains made of noodles
Palin’s hairstyle reminds me of a poodle’s
The G.O.P. is filled with ding-a-lings
They are some of my least favorite things
Palin will bless us with winks of her lashes
Gingrich and Rudy just sit on their asses
Huckabee’s so holy he thinks he has wings
They are some of my least favorite things
“No civil rights”,
Pawlenty sings
He is raving mad
And when Michele Bachmann speaks aloud it stings
Yes that hurts my ears real bad
They are just posers so I say, “Good riddance”
Remind me of the inbred guy in “Deliverance”
All of them have extramarital flings
They are some of my least favorite things
They have no taste just like a bland egg noodle
They should be thrown out with the kit and caboodle
All of them acting like puppets on strings
They are some of my least favorite things
G.O.P. women have life-long hot flashes
The Grand Old Party is reduced to ashes
They cannot tolerate arrows or slings
They are some of my least favorite things
They’re not bright lights
Mental weaklings
Poor behaving cads
I wish they’d all congregate down in Palm Springs
And then I would be so glad.
Haiti Braces For Disaster: (Sarah Palin To Visit)
Santa Palin leads Haitian children in a "pageant walk"
UPDATE: Today is the last day for voting in Boston radio station WRKO’s “Next Great Political Blogger” contest. Internet voting ends Saturday night at 11:59pm EST. Lynnrockets thanks all of for voting. If any of you folks have not yet voted multiple times (and are inclined to do so), please notice that the establishment lights are flashing because it is last call. Please vote here. Vote for “Kevin McCarthy” in the spot next to the photo. Then, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on “Confirm your vote”. You will then be taken to a new page where you will notice the name “Kevin McCarthy” and you must click on the word “Vote”. Once again, I thank you folks for all the help.
Haiti is an island nation in peril. First there was the devastating earthquake. Next came the disastrous hurricane That was followed by a massive cholera epidemic. And now, this weekend Sarah Palin will come stomping in like some hell-bent infrastructure destroying Godzilla. Well, that certainly is a lot more than most third world countries could cope with. Lets hope the Haitians are up to the task of entertaining the “Alaska Disaster” even as they try to merely survive the deplorable conditions in which they exist.
In a blatant example of political posturing, Sarah Palin is headed this weekend to Haiti with the evangelist Franklin Graham.The trip was announced by Samaritan’s Purse, Mr. Graham’s international relief organization. Graham said,
“I am pleased that Governor Palin will accompany us on a brief trip to Haiti this weekend and I appreciate her willingness to visit Haiti during such troubled times. I don’t know of any people in recent years who have suffered more, and in such a short period of time, than the people of this small country — with an earthquake, a hurricane and now a cholera epidemic.”
Palin has not commented on the trip either by Facebook or Twitter as of yet, but stay tuned. There is absolutely no way that the “Queen of Quit” will not try to embellish her world affairs bona fides by broadcasting to the world that she will single-handedly save the Haitians by warning them about government “death panels” and extolling the benefits of oil drilling. In fact, rumor has it that she will also hold a fee-based book signing event at the ruined rubble that was once Haiti’s only Borders Books. Palin would also like a head to head meeting with the King of Haiti to discuss the issue of gays in the military.
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPAOBN4Pt-Y
HAVE YOURSELF A SARAH PALIN CHRISTMAS
(sung to the Christmas song “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”)
Sarah Palin is far away
She’s out making some cash
This is Sarah Palin’s pay day
Just how long will it last?
Have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas
Wink and blink your eyes
Leave the bus
And fly your jet up in the skies
Have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas
Sign books to get paid
Take that dough
From people that you have betrayed
These are not like the olden days
These are golden days for sure
You don’t have to travel by bus
On your marvelous book tour
Come next year
Things will be even better
You’re the cat’s meow
You’ll still have the SarahPAC as your cash cow
So have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas now
(These are not like the olden days)
(These are golden days for sure)
You don’t have to travel by bus
On your marvelous book tour
Come next year
Things will be even better
You’re the cat’s meow
You’ll still have the SarahPAC as your cash cow
So have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas now
Mike Huckabee Envies Sarah Palin (Updated: Last Call)
The Crier and the Liar
UPDATE: Tomorrow is the last day for voting in Boston radio station WRKO’s “Next Great Political Blogger” contest. Internet voting ends Saturday night at 11:59pm EST. Lynnrockets thanks all of for voting. If any of you folks have not yet voted multiple times (and are inclined to do so), please notice that the establishment lights are flashing because it is last call. Please vote here. Vote for “Kevin McCarthy” in the spot next to the photo. Then, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on “Confirm your vote”. You will then be taken to a new page where you will notice the name “Kevin McCarthy” and you must click on the word “Vote”. Once again, I thank you folks for all the help.
Somebody please call the Whaaaaambulence for Mike Huckabee. The whining, sniveling and failed GOP Presidential candidate gave an interview to POLITICO this week in which he cried over the fact that he gets little respect as a 2012 contender for the office. He seems genuinely jealous that the conservative world dissects and analyzes every one of Sarah Palin’s Facebook posts and Twitter tweets yet ignores most anything he says. He complains…
“I just don’t understand how it is that a person can read these polls day after day and the narrative is constantly everybody but me. Whether I do it {run for President} or not, the fact is that if one looks at the overall body of information that’s available, nobody would be in a better position to take it all the way to November. The polls are consistently favorable, putting me either at the top of every poll or right near it. It’s hard to ignore that, having swum in that water before when I barely registered in those very kinds of polls,”
“She’s brought an enormous amount of energy to the party. As to why she seemingly draws ten times the attention, I don’t know. You’re never going to read that. I’m never going to be breaking news because I made a comment on Twitter and Facebook. Why is that? I don’t know.”
The fact that speculation of a Palin run for office is so rampant while speculation of a Huckabee run is so lukewarm is perplexing. After all, Huckabee has more experience and is better qualified for the position. While Palin only lasted half of one term as governor, Huckabee served two full terms in that office. While Palin was number two on the McCain ticket, Huckabee was a 2008 Presidential candidate. Huckabee should also hold a firmer grip on the evangelical vote inasmuch as he was actually a Baptist pastor for over 12 years while Palin has repeatedly switched churches and had demons exorcised from her body. Finally, Huckabee is smarter than Palin. He obtained a bachelor’s degree in only 2 1/2 years at Ouachita Baptist University while Palin required 6 years and 5 colleges to earn her degree.
In short, Huckabee would be a far more electable Republican than Palin, but Palin is the bigger celebrity. This is simply a fact that Huckabee must live with and contend with. He demeans himself however, when he cries publicly about it.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Today’s song parody is inspired by Mike Huckabee’s crying.
Rock-A-Bye, Baby lullaby link: http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/rockaby.htm
HUCKABEE BABY
(sung to the lullaby “Rock-A-Bye, Baby”)
Huckabee baby
GOP flop
Everyone knows
He’s easy to mock
Outrage he fakes
With Palin he brawls
But Huckabee baby
Is sure to fall
Mike’s book is lousy
Beyond compare
Palin, he sneers
Gets treated more fair
She has a knack
For book-signing swings
And while Mikey weeps
Sarah Palin sings
From the high rooftop
Huckabee sees
Palin spreads fear
While charging a fee
All the right-wingers
Old, male and white
Are Palin’s sheep
So Mike’s in a plight.
Are Palin And Teapublicans No Longer BFF’s ?
It appears as if there is no end in sight to all of the recent Teapublican infighting. First we witnessed the battle over earmarks between establishment GOP members of Congress and their newly elected Tea Party compatriots. Next, there was the battle between the various Tea Party factions over just which organizational branch of the movement (i.e. Tea Party Express, Tea Party Nation, Tea Party Patriots, Freedom Works etc.) is the true leader of the Tea Party. Now we have a Sarah Palin, Tea Party, Republican rift in the making.
This Monday, Tea Party Nation called upon Sarah Palin to replace the demonized Michael Steele as chairperson of the Republican National Committee (RNC). The ex-quitting former half-term governor of Alaska seemed the perfect choice for the job. She is much more popular than Steele. She has demonstrated the ability to raise large amounts of money. Her celebrity status would ensure constant media spotlighting, and most important of all, she is as crazy as a demented old cat lady. It would appear to be a match made made in some radically conservative yet illiterate version of Heaven.
Yet, something funny happened on the way to the RNC chairmanship. Sarah Palin “refudiated” the Tea Party and insulted the RNC chairperson’s position with one curt statement. She immediately informed the Tea Party organization that she was not interested in becoming what she referred to as the GOP’s fundraiser in chief.
Tea Party Nation however, did not spend a lot of time mourning its loss. By Tuesday, the organization had already chosen a successor to Palin. The organization is now throwing its support behind the little known former Michigan state GOP Chairman, Saul Anuzis. Tea Party Nation spokesperson, Judson Phillips touts Anuzis as a supporter of the Tea Party in Michigan but admits that outside the committee he is virtually unknown.
Please tune in to Fox News tomorrow for another compelling episode of “Teapublicans Eating Their Own”.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.
Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnIqLlBwzrc
THE TEA PARTY HOP
(sung to the Christmas song “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)
Walkin’ around with Hannity
At the new Tea Party Hop
Misspelled signs everywhere you see
Every TV’s tuned to Fox
Rockin’ around their lynching tree
As the racist moonbats sing
“Let’s go hang that Obama guy”
“As we do some caroling”
They all get a sentimental feeling, when they hear
Glenn Beck singing, “Let’s be jolly”
As he drives his koo-koo trolley
Rockin’ out with the Tea Party
And their jailbird Tom Delay
Bachmann’s walking unsteadily
Cuz she’s drunk from spiked Kool-Aid
(tax break)
They all get a sentimental feeling, when they hear
“Tax cuts for the rich, By-Golly”
No need to be melancholy
Ridin’ around with Sarah P.
On her gas powered snow sleigh
Palin is so damn “mavericky”
In her Sarah Palin way!
Remember When Elizabeth Edwards Publicly Blasted Ann Coulter?
Our thoughts and prayers are with the Edwards family in their time of loss. Elizabeth Edwards exhibited bravery, wisdom, thoughtfulness and even levity in the face of this most insidious of diseases. Elizabeth Edwards, you may also recall, is one of the very few persons who has ever confronted right-wing pundit Ann Coulter and publicly administered an intellectual and emotional smackdown. Back in 2007, Coulter attempted to slander then Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards by calling him a “faggot”. In a speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Coulter said,
“Oh, and I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards. But it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word “faggot,” so I’m — so I’m kind of at an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards. So I think I’ll just conclude here and take your questions.”
Shortly thereafter, Coulter appeared as a guest before a live audience on Chris Mathews’ “Hardball” on MSNBC. Coulter realized very quickly however, that she was not in the comfy confines of a Fox News studio when Elizabeth Edwards called into the show. Edwards confronted Coulter on the subject of Coulter’s penchant for underhanded personal attacks. She referenced not only the homophobic epithet levied against her husband, but also Coulter’s hurtful reference to her deceased teen-aged son in another attack against her husband. The fidgeting Coulter is visibly uncomfortable as she nervously plays with her hair and glances all around. She is then humiliated when the live audience erupts with cheers when Edwards concludes her remarks. Score: Edwards 1, Coulter 0. Let’s watch as Elizabeth Edwards is at her best.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Lola song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJiHp-2CmVY
COULTER
(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)
I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars
Well I’m not the world’s most perceptive bloke
But she is a lady that I wouldn’t dare poke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well she sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on her eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox she was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
I changed the station
M-S-N-B-C
Re-luct-ant-ly
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he
Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women when they don’t have dinks like Ann Coulter’s
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
She says that her wisdom sells her books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t her good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter
I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay
Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
But I’m never gonna take it right up the can
From no Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Sarah Palin Is Not Tina’s Fey(vorite) Person
America as a nation owes a substantial debt of gratitude to Tina Fey. This wonderful woman did more to reveal the ridiculousness of Sarah Palin during the 2008 Presidential election campaign than did any single member of the “lamestream” media. OK, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric also did their part. Nevertheless, it was Tina Fey who made it all so humorously memorable. Who will ever forget when she gave a spot-on Palin impersonation and said, “I can see Alaska from my house” or “Katie, I’d like to use one of my lifelines, I’d like to phone a friend”?
How about when she simply parroted the near exact words of Sarah Palin giving an answer during the Katie Couric interview on the subject of the bank bailout which Palin was in favor of before she was against it? If you do not remember that, do not worry. Here it is the original and the Tina Fey version for your viewing pleasure. (For the second video you will be prompted to click on the YouTube link.)
Thanks for the memories, Tina.
Well, lucky for us, Tina Fey is not quite done ribbing Palin. Fey was awarded the 2010 Mark Twain Prize for Humor a few weeks ago and she went at Sarah Palin yet again. Upon accepting the award, she said the following:
I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight. My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me. And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women – except, of course –those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years – whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know – actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.
You just have to love Tina Fey. Brava!
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0
RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)
(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)
Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange
But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be
Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice
Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be
Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey
Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed
But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be
And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be
Palin Shunned By Conservative Women’s Group (Again!)
They have done it again. As we have said before, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. I pull my head away from the football games for just one moment and I learn that the The Clare Boothe Luce (whoever the hell she is) Policy Institute has released its sixth annual “Great American Conservative Women Calendar for 2011“. Besides the fact that the words, “Great American” and “Conservative Women” are mutually exclusive, who in the mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world of marketing ever could believe that such a thing could sell? There are going to be so many unwanted copies of this thing that they should just hang them up at the U.S Post Office next to the photos of all of those wanted felons.
Rather than list the names of the morons that will be featured in the calendar, we felt that we should simply incorporate them into today’s song parody. Please take note however, that even this conservative brain-trust elected once again not to associate itself with Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska and former beauty-queen runner-up is now persona non grata in her own political circles. Heck, even Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) was asked to pose nude for a centerfold. When will Palin’s Facebook/Twitter backlash take place?
Please enjoy.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Calendar Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUlOyj9F5gM
Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.
CALENDAR GALS
(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Calendar Girl”)
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear
(January) Who is Kate Obenshain?
(February) Some Claire Boothe Luce dame
(March) Ann Coulter has a mannish smile
(April) Michelle Malkin’s breath smells just like bile
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
(May) Monica Crowey is a Fox alum
(June) Ms. Tantaros is so very dumb
(July) Michele Bachmann looks like a ‘ho
(August) Michelle Duggar must really need the dough
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
(musical interlude)
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
(September) Bay Buchanan’s from the 70′s
(October) Amanda Carpenter can’t count to three
(November) The Cupp chick goes by the name S.E.
(December) That Star Parker keeps strange company
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear
Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 62
Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!
BREAKING NEWS: As of this week the United States has been at war in Afghanistan longer than than was the Soviet Union. Ouch!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of ” Don’t Know Much About History ” features the college degree-challenged Rush Limbaugh. The drug addicted racist mischaracterized President Obama’s Thanksgiving speech by saying,
We were the invaders. The Indians are minding their own business. We were incompetent idiots. We didn’t know how to feed ourselves. So they came along and showed us how, and that’s what Thanksgiving is all about. Now, he says nothing about the Constitution in his Thanksgiving proclamation, because he’s got a problem with it … Every cliche that is wrong about Thanksgiving shows up in his proclamation.
Rush Limbaugh is ignorant of the fact that the U.S. Constitution was not drafted until some 150 years after the first Thanksgiving. What a moran!
BREAKING NEWS: The conservative majority U.S. Supreme Court has once again cast aside an appeal that claimed that Barack Obama’s natural citizenship of the United States has not been substantiated. The case is Kerchner v. Obama (10-446). Bottom line? Crazy “Birthers” lose yet again.
THIS JUST IN: Confused Tea-Baggers do not recognize an earmark when they see one. The new Tea Party members of congress were quick to say that they would ban all legislative earmarks. Problem is, members of The Tea Party Caucus used the 111th Congress to request hundreds of earmarks that, taken cumulatively, added more than $1 billion to the federal budget. Take a look at this:
A list of Tea Party Caucus members and their earmark requests in Fiscal Year 2010, courtesy of Citizens Against Government Waste’s Pig Book:
NAME EARMARKS AMOUNT Aderholt (R-AL) 69 $78,263,000 Akin (R-MO) 9 $14,709,000 Alexander (R-LA) 41 $65,395,000 Bachmann (R-MN) 0 0 Barton (R-TX) 14 $12,269,400 Bartlett (R-MD) 19 $43,060,650 Bilirakis (R-FL) 14 $13,600,000 R. Bishop (R-UT) 47 $93,980,000 Burgess (R-TX) 15 $15,804,400 Broun (R-GA) 0 0 Burton (R-IN) 0 0 Carter (R-TX) 26 $42,232,000 Coble (R-NC) 19 $18,755,000 Coffman (R-CO) 0 0 Crenshaw (R-FL) 37 $54,424,000 Culberson (R-TX) 22 $33,792,000 Fleming (R-LA) 10 $31,489,000 Franks (R-AZ) 8 $14,300,000 Gingrey (R-GA) 19 $16,100,000 Gohmert (R-TX) 15 $7,099,000 S. Graves (R-MO) 11 $8,331,000 R. Hall (R-TX) 16 $12,232,000 Harper (R-MS) 25 $80,402,000 Herger (R-CA) 5 $5,946,000 Hoekstra (R-MI) 9 $6,392,000 Jenkins (R-KS) 12 $24,628,000 S. King (R-IA) 13 $6,650,000 Lamborn (R-CO) 6 $16,020,000 Luetkemeyer (R-MO) 0 0 Lummis (R-WY) 0 0 Marchant (R-TX) 0 0 McClintock (R-CA) 0 0 Gary Miller (R-CA) 15 $19,627,500 Jerry Moran (R-KS) 22 $19,400,000 Myrick (R-NC) 0 0 Neugebauer (R-TX) 0 0 Pence (R-IN) 0 0 Poe (R-TX) 12 $7,913,000 T. Price (R-GA) 0 0 Rehberg (R-MT) 88 $100,514,200 Roe (R-TN) 0 0 Royce (R-CA) 7 $6,545,000 Scalise (R-LA) 20 $17,388,000 P. Sessions (R-TX) 0 0 Shadegg (R-AZ) 0 0 Adrian Smith (R-NE) 1 $350,000 L. Smith (R-TX) 18 $14,078,000 Stearns (R-FL) 17 $15,472,000 Tiahrt (R-KS) 39 $63,400,000 Wamp (R-TN) 14 $34,544,000 Westmoreland (R-GA) 0 0 Wilson (R-SC) 15 $23,334,000 TOTAL 764 $1,049,783,150
Correction: This post has been updated to reflect earmarks requested by Rep. Sam Graves (R-MO). We initially attributed them to Rep. Tom Graves (R-GA), who was not in Congress during FY 2010.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “So Much For Doing What The People Want” features all 42 Republican Senators. Despite the fact that every single poll indicates that a vast majority of Americans believe that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” should be repealed, and the highly anticipated Pentagon report and poll of service members came to the same conclusion, GOP senators have all stated in a letter to Harry Reid that they will vote “No”. UPDATE: The clothing-challenged Scott Brown (R-MA) announced on Friday that he will side with the Democrats (yet again) and vote for the repeal of DADT.
THIS JUST IN: For the second time in two months, a federal judge has upheld the constitutionality of the new health care law, ruling on Tuesday that the requirement that most Americans obtain medical coverage falls within Congress’s authority to regulate interstate commerce. The judge, Norman K. Moon of Federal District Court, who sits in Lynchburg, Va., issued a 54-page ruling that granted the government’s request to dismiss a lawsuit brought by Liberty University, the private Christian college founded by the Rev. Jerry Falwell. Last month, in a separate case, Judge George C. Steeh of Federal District Court in Detroit also upheld the law.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Guess Who Has A Ghostwriter Now?” features Bristol Palin and her recent Facebook rant against MSNBC‘s Keith Olbermann. Honestly, does anybody out there truly believe that the former unwed pregnant teen and high school drop-out knows the meaning or spelling of the words, “canard”, “incredulity” and of course, “abstinence”?
THIS JUST IN: Speaking of the Palins, Sarah Palin‘s new book is trailing in sales to George “Worst President In History” Bush’s new book. Ouch! That is gonna leave a mark.
BREAKING NEWS: It was nice to see the Senate Democrats grow a spine yesterday by holding votes on two bills extending tax cuts only for those earning less than $ 250,000.00 and for those earning less than $ 1,000,000.00 and thereby forcing the Republicans to prove that they only care about helping millionaires and billionaires. “There are no signs that millionaires are suffering in this economy. It’s everybody below that,” said Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-California. “You have to stand up for what you believe and you have to vote on what you believe.” They measures lost, but the GOP has now been fully exposed on the record.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday season inspired song parody.
Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE
PALIN BLUNDERLAND II
(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)
Sarah P., are you listening?
Intellect, you are missing
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland
Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland
You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town
He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground
Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland
Sarah P., are you listening?
What’s that sound that you’re hissing?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland
You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold some books and made a lot of dough, man
They had no verbs but had a lot of nouns
You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland
Scott “Nudist” Brown (R-MA) Is Evicted
Brown yuks it up for last time in "Kennedy's seat"
Last January, Republican candidate Scott Brown famously proclaimed that he was not running to fill “Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat”, but what he referred to as “the Peoples’ seat”. His campaign coffers were stuffed with money from out of state Tea-Bagger donations. He was endorsed by Sarah Palin. He won the election. He became the poster-child for defeat of Health Care Reform and was considered a potential 2012 GOP candidate for President.
A lot has changed since last January 25th. First, the clothing-challenged freshman senator never had that opportunity to cast his oft-referenced 41st vote against Health Care Reform. The Democrats outmaneuvered Brown and denied him the chance to become a Republican hero when they passed the law via the reconciliation and modification procedure which required only 51 Senate votes. Strike one. Next, the former nude centerfold model realized that in order to be re-elected in the dark blue Commonwealth of Massachusetts in 2012, he would need to legislate from the center. Consequently, Brown began casting votes with the Democrats on bills that were vehemently opposed by the conservative right. Strike Two. Brown then quite publicly avoided Sarah Palin’s Tea Party rally on Boston Common last April and then added insult to injury by proclaiming that he would not endorse the ex-quitting former half-term Governor of Alaska if she chose to run for President. Strike three.
And now Scott Brown is out. Not out of public office (yet). But he is out of “Ted Kennedy’s seat”. Little did Brown imagine back in January when he symbolically said he would not occupy “Kennedy’s seat” that his prediction would become a literal fact. You see, yesterday Brown was punished for his disloyalty by the Republican leadership. The Boston Globe reports that in a barely publicized power-play, Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell decided to take over the prime Capitol Hill office of the late Senator Kennedy. McConnell is effectively evicting Scott Brown, who inherited the office after winning the election. The office, on the third floor of the Senate’s Russell Office Building, boasts an outdoor patio and a stunning view of the Capitol building. Brown, as a freshman senator with little seniority, now could be forced to move to the virtual Siberia of Capitol Hill offices.
Scott Brown, we hardly knew ye!
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
I’M DOWN (ON SCOTT BROWN)
(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)
Scott’s tellin’ lies thinking I can’t see
That nude guy is so blind he can’t see
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down
We’ll all sing when he’s voted away
Brown’s short fling will be over in days
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down
Once he’s dethroned, he’ll be all by himself
Scott will moan: “They wanted someone else!”
I’m down (I’m really down)
Let’s vote him down (Vote down Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down
(Wow! Scott’s goin’ down!)
Whoo, baaby!
Oh Scott, you’re soon going down (He’s goin’ down)
I guess your down (He’s really down)
We’re down on Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Scott! Brown! (He’s goin’ down)
Let’s hang him upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, he’s down (He’s really down)
Scott baby you’re down (He’s really down)
Let’s hang him upside down (Let’s watch him frown)
Ooh, that Brown (He’s such a clown)
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scottie, you’re down (You’re really down)
Scott baby you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie, Scottie, Scottie! (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
You’re down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, yeh, whoa!!!
New Reality TV Show: “Kate Plus Hate”
Palin and Gosselin
CNN reports, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” saw a major drop in ratings after its first episode aired, but we’re guessing this Sunday’s show may spark a bit more interest. A guest appearance by Kate Gosselin and her eight children can’t hurt, right?
The December 5 episode of Palin’s TLC reality show features the two famous families as they embark on an Alaskan camping trip and UsMagazine.com has a first look at the promo for the upcoming episode.
“She’s going to rely on me to protect her,” Palin says of Kate, who shares that she has “never camped for real.” The look of horror on Kate’s face as she watches the former governor shoot a rifle gives her away.
“Our ruggedness is really a mystery to people in the lower 48,” Palin adds with a smile.
Lynnrockets believes the two erstwhile campers could improve ratings by merging their shows. Could it be called “Kate Plus Hate”?
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Hit Me With Your Best Shot song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boww2CMtOo4
HIT ‘EM WITH YOUR BEST SHOT
(sung to the Pat Benatar song “Hit me With Your Best Shot”)
Well she’s a real tough cookie in the mean G.O.P.
A bitch without a heart; that is Sarah P.
She hates Dems and she’s gonna prove it
Just like the Duke, she’s gonna come out shootin’
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!
A slimy, lying moron, losing her hair
She plays the game but she don’t play fair
Blamed her loss on John McCain
But she flushed him right down the drain
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!
(musical interlude)
A political rookie with a poor history
She can see Russia from her balcony
Palin just took another gun from her rifle case
She’s gonna shoot a Democrat in the face
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!
