Christine O’Donnell’s “All Of Them Any Of Them” Moment

 

O'Donnell when asked to name a Supreme Court decision.

 

Wow! Did you Rocketeers see the Christine O’Donnell/Chris Coons debate on CNN last night? If that performance by O’Donnell did not put the final death-inducing stake in her candidacy’s heart, then… Oh, wait a second there, wrong analogy. Let’s try again. If that performance by O’Donnell did not resemble death-inducing water being poured upon this witch’s candidacy, then what will?

Neither the debate moderators nor Chris Coons even delved into the juicy stuff that the witchcraft dabbling, satanic-alter dating, non-masturbating, meatball-loving would-be Hare Krishna must have feared would surface during the debate. There was no need to. Christine O’Donnell committed political suicide simply by either failing to answer the position questions that she was asked, or by contradicting herself repeatedly. She truly displayed a Palinesque ability to make a fool of herself in a situation where she was forced to answer un-screened questions.

In future posts, Lynnrockets will comment upon many of the witchy woman’s blunders but today we will focus on her Sarah Palin inspired “all of them any of them” moment. Everyone remembers back in 2008 when Palin was asked by Katie Couric in a nationally televised interview, “What other (i.e. other than Roe v. Wade) Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?” The completely dumbfounded Palin answered, “Ummmmm, well let’s see, in the course of the great history of America there have been rulings that there’s never gonna be consensus by every American and there are those issues again like Roe v. Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there, there would be others”. Kouric then followed-up with the completely unfair “gotcha question”, “Can you think of any?” To which Palin responded, ” Well, I would think of, of any again that could best be dealt with on a more local level that maybe I would take issue with. But, UMMM, as a mayor and then as a governor and even as a Vice President if I’m so privileged to serve, would be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today”. Translation? Sarah Palin was incapable of naming even one other Supreme Court decision.

That Palin gaffe was so widely spread across this great nation of ours that one would think that any serious future candidate for public office would hone-up on a few Supreme Court decisions. But we are talking about Tea Party darling Christine O’Donnell. She adores her “Mama Grizzly” so much that when asked exactly the same question, she mimicked her mentor to a “tea”. Let’s go to the transcript, shall we?

KARIBJANIAN:  Well, we’ve talked about the Supreme Court, and obviously a United States senator has the opportunity to determine in a way the make-up of that court.  So what opinions of late that have come from our high court do you most object to?

O’DONNELL:  Oh, gosh.  Give me a specific one, I’m sorry.

KARIBJANIAN:  Actually, I can’t, because I need you to tell me which ones you object to.

O’DONNELL:  I’m very sorry.  Right off the top of my head, I know that there are a lot, but I’ll put it up on my Web site, I promise you.

BLITZER:  Well, we know you disagree with Roe versus Wade.

O’DONNELL:  Yes, but that was — she said a recent one.

BLITZER:  Well, that’s relatively recent.

O’DONNELL:  She said, of late. Yes, well, Roe versus Wade would not put the power — sorry, it’s 30 (ph)…(CROSSTALK)

BLITZER:  But since then,  have there been any other…(LAUGHTER) BLITZER:  … Supreme Court decisions?

O’DONNELL:  Well, let me say, about Roe versus Wade, Roe versus Wade, if that were overturned, would not make abortion illegal in the United States, it would put the power back to the states.

BLITZER:  But besides that decision, anything else you disagree with?

O’DONNELL:  Oh, there are several, when it comes to pornography,
when it comes to court decisions, not just Supreme Court, but federal
court decisions to give terrorists Miranda-ized rights.

I mean, there are a lot of things that I believe that — this California decision to overturn “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell,” I believe that there are a lot of federal judges who are legislating from the bench.

BLITZER:  That wasn’t the Supreme Court, it’s a lower court.

O’DONNELL:  That was a federal judge — that’s what I said, in
California.

Incredible! With over two years of preparation for that question, Christine O’Donnell was still unprepared to name a Supreme Court decision. Things could only have been funnier if O’Donnell was asked to name the newspapers or magazines that she reads so as to stay abreast of the news and she parroted the Palin answer, “All of them any of them”. If “imitation is the best form of flattery”, then Sarah Palin should be gushing with pride this morning.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Lady Madonna song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rlCNswKvk8

CRAZY O’DONNELL

(sung to the Beatles song “Lady Madonna”)

Crazy O’Donnell, headed for defeat
Sarah Palin’s pal is a dumb dead-beat
Use donor’s money when you pay your rent
Did you think that money was heaven sent?

Every night you prove you are a fruit-cake
Every morning you blame everyone
Come November 2 when you lose your race
Where will you run?

Crazy O’Donnell, you sure failed your test
You and you’re Tea Party are such a mess

Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da…
You’re dead and done

Crazy O’Donnell, all those things you said
About not masturbating in your own bed

Thank God your campaign will soon be ending
Then you can go back where you came from
The things you said we were not comprehending
Not even one

Crazy O’Donnell, could not take the heat
Now we laugh as she goes down in defeat.

Palin’s Positively Putrid Political Pals

 

I Want You...To Join My Lunatic Fringe!

 

One always has to wonder about the wisdom (if any) of Sarah Palin. You will remember that the laughingly under-educated former half-term ex-quitting of Governor of Alaska was incapable of naming any newspapers or magazines that she currently reads; did not know what the “Bush Doctrine” was; did not know that South Africa was a country and thought that the bank bailout was “to help those that are concerned about health care reform”. She could not name a single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade. She also invented “death panels” which were deemed the “biggest lie of 2009″ and believed that Vladimir Putin spent all his free time “rearing his head” in the “airspace of Alaska”. In simple terms, Sarah Palin has proven to be a moron.

Perhaps in an effort to redeem her public image, Sarah Palin has shied away from any substantive discussion of domestic or foreign  policy during the last year or so. Instead of potentially embarrassing herself yet again by revealing a true lack of knowledge, she has elected to spend her time endorsing Teapublican candidates for office. Her plan has failed. The radically nutty right-wing conservatives upon whom Palin has bestowed her blessing are as crazy or crazier than “Mama Grizzly”. Consider these examples.

Clint Didier: Teapublican candidate for a Washington U.S. Senate seat. Didier ran on a platform of opposing what he called “government handouts”. Apparently however he did not oppose government handouts to himself, as he received farm subsidies, for wheat and corn, [that] amounted to $103,888. Didier was defeated in the Republican primary election.

Nikki Haley: Haley is the Teapublican nominee in the South Carolina gubernatorial election. The State newspaper has raised questions about unethical behavior that led Haley to obtain an unwarranted $100,000 fundraising job and a further $42,000 from a state contractor while she was a state legislator. Before obtaining this income under questionable circumstances Haley’s personal financial situation was collapsing, with half of her family’s income paying off interest on her mortgage. After these revelations her poll numbers have decreased dramatically in recent polling. Much like the most recent Republican Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, it has been alleged that Haley has had at least two extramarital affairs.

Carly Fiorina: Fiorina is the Republican nominee for a California U.S. Senate seat. She was formerly the disgraced CEO of Hewlett-Packard Company. She was forced to resign from the company after nearly driving it into the ground in 2005. In April 2009, the business magazine web site Condé Nast Portfolio listed Fiorina as one of “The 20 Worst American CEOs of All Time”. Fiorina is hoping to garner a lot of votes this November but The Los Angeles Times research of public records indicated Fiorina had failed to vote in most every election that she has been eligible to cast a vote. This week Fiorina publicly stated that she believes that Sarah Palin is qualified to be President of the United States. ‘Nuff said.

Sharron Angle: Angle is the 2010 Teapublican nominee for the U.S. Senate seat in Nevada currently held by Democrat Harry Reid. She wants to ban all abortions even in the case of rape, wants to privatize the Veterans’ Administration, wants to abolish the Social Security and Medicare programs, wants to outlaw the sale and consumption of alcohol and remove the fluoride from our water supply. Angle also says that if candidates like her are not elected this fall, the masses should resort to their “2nd Amendment remedies” (she advocates assassinations of public officials?). Last week Angle declared that Dearborn, Michigan and the non-existent town of Frankford, Texas are governed by Sharia law. Crazy enough for you? Oh, and she has another thing in common with Sarah Palin, pulling “n0 shows” at events in which she is scheduled to speak. The most recent example of this was just yesterday when Angle failed to appear at a health care conference in Las Vegas. Angle’s no-show status is noteworthy because the candidate keeps such a low profile on the trail. Press shy Angle has unabashedly rejected the tradition of submitting to a public vetting by the press corps – or rather, the non-partisan press. She regularly grants interviews to Fox News and conservative radio. When she spoke at a reception with conservative radio host Heidi Harris last weekend, it was supposed to be open to the press, but when local television stations showed up they were told they couldn’t cover it. Sharron Angle truly is a psycho-chicken.

Joe Miller: Miller is the Teapublican candidate for one of Alaska’s U.S. Senate seats. He believes that unemployment benefits are unconstitutional. He has not however, stated whether his wife is unconstitutional inasmuch as it was revealed last week that she actually accepted unemployment benefits after having worked as her husband’s clerk in 2002 when he was a federal magistrate. Miller is an another example of  “do as I say, not as I do”.

Rand Paul: Rand Paul is the Teapublican nominee for a Kentucky U.S. Senate seat. Paul believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially  discriminate in places of public accomodation such as lunch counters and hotels, and he wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Paul has also said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments.

Christine O’Donnell: We have saved the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) for last. Oh, where to begin? O’Donnell of course, is the Teapublican candidate for Vice President Joe Biden’s former Delaware U.S. Senate seat. Well, first we learned of her call for a masturbation ban. Next, we learned that her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, stating that she had a “date on a satanic alter”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.” O’Donnell then claimed to have been privy to classified information that the Chinese plan to take-over America. Then, just yesterday while appearing as a guest with Greta Van Susteren on the Fox network, O’Donnell said, “Well, I hate to say it… I’ve stopped watching the news. I’ve stopped reading the news clips.” If that isn’t mimicking Sarah Palin to the tenth degree, then what is?

When one considers the craziness of these endorsements, it can only be assumed that Sarah Palin’s master plan is to make herself appear to be relatively mainstream by means of propelling these absolutely radical nutjobs into the public arena. Or, maybe Sarah Palin really believes in these candidates, and if that is the case, she is a confirmed lunatic.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDA33hGFNgQ&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
What are their chances?
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Angle has no heart
O’Donnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their idol Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Christine O’Donnell: The Contrarian Delawarean

 

My candidacy is a laugh riot!

 

Remember a few weeks ago when Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell, the Tea Party/Republican candidate for Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat said that she would no longer provide interviews to national media sources? Her exact words were, “I’m not going to do any more national media because that – this is my focus. Delaware is my focus and the local media is my focus.” Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the polygraph test. O’Donnell has broken her vow.

The non-masturbating evolution-denier appeared for a taped interview on CNN‘s “The Situation Room” last Thursday. In a wide-ranging interview on a series of national issues, O’Donnell promised to vote to make the Bush tax cuts permanent. She also double-dared the President to veto any bill that would repeal health care reform. “If Barack Obama vetoes that the year before his reelection he’s setting himself up to be very vulnerable and I’ve seen many Hillary for President ads running,” O’Donnell said. Asked whether she believes human activity contributes to climate change, O’Donnell responded: “I don’t have an opinion on that.”

She also said that she is not planning to go on Bill Maher’s “Real Time” program between now and Election Day. To O’Donnell her past statements to Maher are not at stake in this closely watched race. “What I said or did on a comedy show, you know, over a decade ago is not relevant in this election,” O’Donnell said.

Well, the Delaware voters will be the judge of that.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. Please enjoy.

Oh, Carol song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL8z9gwE1Ko&feature=related

O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Oh, Carol”)

O’Donnell
We wonder what Bill Maher will say
He loves to air your rants
On his show each and every day

His video machine has the proof no doubt
It shows you ranting like a fool while you just jump and shout
We’re lookin’ at you sideways as you scheme and lie
Now that asylum door is open, you can go inside
Your tall and pointy witch’s hat makes you look so glam
You have the personality of a store bought canned ham

O’Donnell
We love the crazy things you say
And your satanic rants
Will haunt you on election day

(Chinese classified information viewing break)

We all watch “Real Time” to hear what you’ve been sayin’
There is no evolution and no masturbatin’
Sarah Palin is your mentor but can she be proud
Of endorsing a lunatic that is dumb and loud?
You have no chance, you know that’s understood
Voters despise you, baby, cuz you are no good

O’Donnell
Get right down on your knees and pray
Cuz you don’t stand a chance
Of winning on election day

O’Donnell
We wonder what Bill Maher will say
He loves to air your rants
On his show each and every day

Sharron “Sharia” Angle Has A Mental Disorder

Let’s not sugar-coat it, Sharron Angle is a mentally challenged liar. The Tea Party/Republican candidate for a Nevada Senate seat has said too many fantastically crazy things to be considered sane. She is the radical nut-job that wants to ban all abortions even in the case of rape, wants to privatize the Veterans’ Administration, wants to abolish the Social Security and Medicare programs, wants to outlaw the sale and consumption of alcohol and remove the fluoride from our water supply. Oh and by the way, Angle says that if candidates like her are not elected this fall, the masses should resort to their “2nd Amendment remedies” (she advocates assassinations of public officials?). Wow, what a typical Republican/Tea Party crackpot!

It is also apparent that Sharron Angle likes the spotlight. Lately however, she has been upstaged by sister Tea Party/Republican whack-job Christine O’Donnell as she has monopolized the lunatic ratings the past few weeks with her “dabbling in witch-craft”, evolution and masturbation denying and her penchant for using campaign donations as her personal piggy bank. Angle’s response? Out-crazy the crazy O’Donnell!

Angle actually told a crowd of Tea Party rally-goers last week that two cities — Dearborn, Michigan and Frankford, Texas — are under Sharia law, the sacred law of Islam. oh yes, you read that correctly. She said,

“We’re talking about a militant terrorist situation, which I believe isn’t a widespread thing, but it is enough that we need to address, and we have been addressing it. My thoughts are these. First of all, Dearborn, Michigan, and Frankford, Texas, are on American soil, and under Constitutional law. Not Sharia law. And I don’t know how that happened in the United States.”

There were a couple of little inconsistencies in her proclamation, however. First of all, she gave no indication as to how or why those two municipalities allegedly came to be governed by Sharia law. Even more embarrassing for Angle however, is the fact that Frankford,Texas is not governed by any law at all inasmuch as  there is no such town as Frankford, Texas. Also, Dearborn, Michigan Mayor Jack O’Reilly told the Associated Press that Angle’s comments were “shameful” and “totally irresponsible.”

OK Christine O’Donnell, the ball is now back in your court.

HAVE A HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY, ALL YOU ROCKETEERS!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ F-me pumps while just winking her eyes

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 55

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Remember Doug Hoffman? Sure you do. He was one of the first Tea-Baggers that Sarah Palin endorsed last year. Palin endorsed him in the special election for New York’s 23rd District congressional race instead of the Republican candidate. As the result of Hoffman’s injection in the race, the Republican vote was split, the Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava dropped out of the race and endorsed Democrat Bill Owens and Owens ran away with a huge victory in the election. Somehow Palin managed to help the Democrats win a seat that they had not held for over 100 years. Well, not to be forgotten, Hoffman decided to throw his hat into the regularly scheduled race for the same seat this year. He has also modeled himself after after Sarah Palin because we learned last Tuesday, that like his BFF, he has quit the race. Sarah Palin sure has a way of rubbing off on Tea-Baggers. Vote Democrat Bill Owens!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Damn It, They Caught Me!” features Rand Paul, the moonbat-crazy Tea Party/Republican nominee for a Kentucky U.S. Senate seat. Paul is the guy who disagrees with the 14th Amendment’s prohibition against racial discrimination in privately owned places of public accomodation such as lunch counters and busses. He has also said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments. Vote Democrat Jack Conway in Kentucky!

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin let slip Tuesday that Dancing With The Stars wanted her husband, Todd “First Dude” Palin to be a contestant – but she didn’t say if he was sought out instead of her daughter Bristol, who is currently appearing on the show and narrowly advanced to the fourth week of competition. “They wanted Todd to be on the show,” Palin remarked during a speaking appearance in Houston. “I think that would have been cool to see, too. But here Bristol is, out of her comfort zone, doing something all new.” Is Sarah implying that ballroom dancing is within Todd’s “comfort zone”? Please Sarah, tell us more.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Out-Foxed” stars, you guessed it, Fox News. The unfair and unbalanced news network was embarrassed last week when it falsely reported that the Los Angeles police purchased 10,000 jet-packs at a cost of $ 100,000.00 each to patrol the city’s streets. Fox’s crack mathematics team was apparently unable to figure out the total price of the fictitious purchase would have been well out of reach for the city in that it equaled ONE BILLION DOLLARS! Need we even mention that Fox picked up the story from the crazy tabloid newspaper known as The World Daily News and ran with it without a fact check? We didn’t think so.

BREAKING NEWS: Joe Miller, the moon-bat, crazy Sarah Palin endorsed Tea Party/Republican nominee for one of Alaska’s U.S. Senate seats has proclaimed that he believes that unemployment benefits are unconstitutional. He has not however, stated whether his wife is unconstitutional inasmuch as it was revealed last week that she actually accepted unemployment benefits after having worked as her husband’s clerk in 2002 when he was a federal magistrate. Just another case of Tea Party/Republican “do as I say, not as I do”. Vote Democrat Scott McAdams!

THIS JUST IN: A new poll indicates that the Democrats have double digit leads in all three races at the top of the ballot in New York this year. According to a CNN/Time/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Wednesday, New York State Attorney General and Democratic gubernatorial nominee Andrew Cuomo holds a 14 point advantage over Republican nominee Carl Paladino, a Buffalo businessman and developer. According to the survey, New York’s two incumbent Democratic senators are leading their Republican challengers by double digits. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand tops Joseph DioGuardi, her GOP opponent, 55 to 41 percent among likely voters, and Sen. Chuck Schumer leads his little known GOP challenger Jay Townsend 57 to 41 percent. Go Democrats!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Whack-Jobs Flying Under The Radar” features former Pennsylvania Senator Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum. The chairman of the National Man-Dog Love Association (NAMDLA) has formed a political action committee in Iowa. The forming of a PAC is one indication that a person is testing the waters for a future candidacy. Could it be for President? Let’s hope so, because the Republican primary needs all the crazies it can get.

THIS JUST IN: In the category of “Sometimes These Things Just Write Themselves“, we have Tea Party/Republican candidate for U.S. Senator from Delaware, Christine “Black Magic Woman” O’Donnell. The New York Times revealed last week that the evolution-denying candidate’s father had a television role playing Bozo the Clown. All we can say is, if nothing else, Christine sure has some big shoes to fill!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s Watch Rand Paul Lie” features who else but Rand Paul the lying Tea Party/Republican candidate for a Kentucky U.S. Senate seat. let’s go directly to Paul’s most recent campaign ad and then his Democratic opponent, Jack Conway‘s response ad. This is a real doozy.

 

GO PACKERS!!!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

A Day In The Life song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di7fKh3Vbj8&feature=related

A DAY IN THE LIFE (OF THE G.O.P.)

(sung to the Beatles song “A Day In The Life”)

I read the news today oh, boy
About a senator who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
Is there a photograph?
John Ensign’s tryst will leave a scar
A “family values” guy who’s values changed
His dirty laundry will be aired
We’ve seen his kind before
In hypocrisy the G.O.P. wins all of the awards

I watched the news today oh, boy
Seems David Vitter spent time with a whore
It was a girl so he’s not gay
But here’s the funny hook
It’s all in her book
He’d love to make her gone

Horned up and out of bed
Larry Craig needed some head
Went to the airport to find a pup
Things looking up, he thought he found some bait
Found a leg to give a pat
Caught a bust in seconds flat
Gave a poor excuse when the news broke
Just another joke in the dirty G.O.P.
Ah, ah,ah, ah, ah, ah ,ah ……….

I read the news today oh, boy
The Sunshine State’s Mark Foley is a queer
These guys spew hate but have no balls
The party’s sure to fall
Hypocritical A-holes heading straight into a wall
They’d love to turn you on

Rush Limbaugh: An Uneducated, Drug Addicted Dolt

CNN reports that Rush Limbaugh criticized President Obama’s economic positions Tuesday during his radio show with some intense rhetoric, even for him. “He’s a jackass, he’s an economic illiterate, he’s an economic ignoramus and that’s being charitable,” Limbaugh said on his popular radio program.

Let’s consider the source of those words for a moment. Limbaugh, as you may know, is the radio personality who flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. He has been married four times and is an admitted drug addict. Nonetheless, Limbaugh claims that President Obama, who has earned a bachelor and juris doctor degree from two of the best Ivy League universities in the country and who surrounds himself in the White House with a plethora of economic experts, as an “economic illiterate” and “economic ignoramus”. If such is the case, what in the wide, wide world of Oxycontin is Rush Limbaugh?

By the way, President Obama has been in office over a year and a half now and his Stimulus Plan, Health Care Reform law and Financial Reform law have all been enacted. isn’t it about time that Limbaugh kept his promise and moved to socialist Costa Rica?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Puff The Magic Dragon song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wik2uc69WbU&feature=related

RUSH THE TRAGIC MAGGOT

(sung to the Peter, Paul and Mary song “Puff The Magic Dragon”)

Rush the tragic maggot lives by the sea
Was born in 1951 in a state called Missouri
Limbaugh’s education went down in a flush
He made it two semesters and his family kept it hush, oh

Rush the tragic maggot had an injury
It was a pilonidal cyst in a place he could not see
Rush the magic maggot petitioned his country
Then they deemed him too unfit for the military

Therefore he did not travel off to the Ho Chi Minh Trail
Limbaugh the rabid chickenhawk was deemed to be too frail
So he became a disc jockey and pursued his fame
Alas he was a failure as his music taste was lame, oh

Rush the tragic maggot found ABC
And began his talk radio stint shilling for the G.O.P.
Rush the tragic maggot tried football on Monday
But when he showed his racist trait they canned his ass hastily

The maggot talks forever and his voice sure annoys
Calls his listeners “ditto heads” while he’s making noise
Rush thinks that he matters and is gen’rally adored
Poor Rush does not realize he’s like a mouse that roars

The mike that he speaks into bigger, than his brain
His brain-dead thoughtless audience is his gravy train
“Operation Chaos” failed in a big way
Despite all Rush’s efforts the Dems won running away, oh

Rush the tragic maggot lives happily
He doctor shops his days away and frequents pharmacies
Rush the tragic maggot loves his Oxy-C
And when he’s feeling a bit down, there’s the blue pill known as “V”

Glenn Beck Is Beyond His Due Date

As we mentioned in our most recent Sunday morning post, Fox News is suffering a pronounced decline in viewership since last Summer. This is really no surprise when one considers that the network is not really a news outlet at all, but rather a thinly veiled propaganda arm of the Republican Party. A person is just as unlikely to get a “fair and balanced” news report from Fox as he would be to get an unbiased report of the benefits of gun control from the National Rifle Association. Perhaps a sizable number of Americans have finally caught on to the fact that they are being spoon-fed a bunch of half-truths, spin, misrepresentations and outright lies by this group of G.O.P./Tea Party lobbyists. Or, maybe the audience has just grown bored with watching the Fox News hosts morph into laughable, cartoonish caricatures of themselves.

The best example of a Fox host’s unpalatable downward spiral is Glenn Beck. Not that Beck should ever have been taken seriously to begin with. After all, his college career lasted all of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. Beck is also the guy who went on national television and reported that President Obama has “a deep-seated hatred for white people.” He is clearly unhinged and the “hatred for white people” comment initiated a massive advertiser boycott of his program.

That boycott now seems to have widened in scope so as to include attendees of his public appearances. For instance, APP.com reports that a crowd of only about 700 people, comprised mostly of Tea Party supporters, gathered at Six Flags Great Adventure in Asbury Park, New Jersey last Saturday to help kick off Beck’s “Restoring America” tour. The arena in which the event took place seats over 8,000. This is a far cry from the over 500 quadzillion people that Beck usually claims are at his events. It just may be that Glenn beck’s fifteen minute of fame are finally over.

Let’s hope so.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. This one was easy. We didn’t have to tinker too much with the original lyrics. Please enjoy.

Undone song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLMF5GM0Kt8

UNDONE

(sung to The Guess Who song “Undone”)

Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And by the time that Fox shows him the door
It’s much too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s either drinking or he’s getting high
And now his sponsors have gone bye-bye
That is Glenn’s fate

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s all but done
Beck’s come undone
Avoids the truth while he shouts out his lies
Now he has to realize
Redemption’s too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a little mouse that tries to roar
A TV host that most of us abhor
A victim of his fate

It’s too late
Beck’s no Bill Maher
He is no fun
Beck’s come undone

Too many branches, but not enough Christmas lights
Too many falsehoods and not enough truth
Too many people with too many eyes to see
Too many lies to tell, but not in prime-time

It’s too late
He’s over par
(that was a pun)
Beck’s come undone
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe- un doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe)
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe)
(Doe doe-doe-doe doe doe-doe-doe doe doe)

(fake crying break)

It’s too late
Feathered and tarred
He’s dazed and stunned
Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And now he’s much worse than the day before
It is too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a fountain spewing out just lies
And sometimes he just sits there and cries
Glenn Beck’s character traits

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s a no-one
Beck’s come undone
(No no-no-no-no-no-no)
(Doe doe doe-doe)

Where, Oh Where Has Christine O’Donnell Gone?

Remember a few weeks ago when Christine O’Donnell the Tea Party/Republican nominee seeking Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat announced that she would no longer speak to the national media and would only communicate with local Delaware-based media outlets for the duration of her campaign?

We could all understood her strategy at the time because she had recently been pummeled by a host of embarrassing revelations about both her personal and political past that had been uncovered by the national press.

First we learned of her call for a masturbation ban. Next, we learned that her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, stating that she had a “date on a satanic alter”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.” (Maher, by the way, claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election).

Then, last week O’Donnell joined “the Twitter” and immediately emulated her mentor Sarah Palin by authoring an absolutely indecipherable tweet having something to do with “GOP porkers.” And that was followed by a new quote of her’s that also caused her campaign some non-meatball induced heartburn. CNN reported that according to the Associated Press, the unlikely Delaware GOP Senate nominee said in 2006 that she was “privy to” classified information that China was engaged in a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.” Of course, her ever-secretive campaign has refused to respond to questions as to just what type of “classified information” O’Donnell claims to have been “privy to” or why she had access to classified information in the first place.

As the result of all of this prying into her past by the well funded and research-capable national media, it is no wonder that O’Donnell has elected to only confer with the less well funded and presumably less research-capable local Delaware media outlets. That being said however, where in the wide, wide world of witchcraft has O’Donnell been since her announcement? We have not heard a peep from her other than her hilarious television advertisement in which she says, “I am not a witch”. Where are the reports from the local media?

Well, that is precisely what the good folks at CNN have been wondering. Political producer Shannon Travis reports:

Some local reporters that I’ve spoke to here in Delaware claim that the Republican Senate nominee has largely avoided the local media. O’Donnell has publicly stated she would avoid contact with the national press.

So we set out to find the candidate. Or, at least, information on her public campaign schedule.

My producer, cameraman and I drove to Delaware. This after sending numerous e-mails to campaign staffers and calling them repeatedly over the past eight days – each time getting scant response.

We arrived at O’Donnell’s new campaign headquarters in Wilmington, greeted by an empty receptionist’s chair. In the corner of the small room was a locked door, with sounds of voices heard on the other side.

We knocked until someone answered.

Two men emerged and asked for our credentials, but refused to identify themselves – at least initially. They later told us their names: Campaign Manager Matt Moran and Chris Merola.

They explained that O’Donnell is standing by her pledge to avoid the national press. But both men were emphatic that O’Donnell is not avoiding local media. They rattled off a list of local reporters and news outlets the candidate has spoken to since winning the Republican Senate primary three weeks ago.

Both men explained how the campaign is ramping up a staff that was small for the primary but needs to be much larger for the general election.

As for their initial suspicions about who we were, they explained that not everyone in the press is appropriately neutral -so they’re often leery of reporters.

Thanks CNN, for solving that mystery. Now the good people of Delaware can get back to the good work of electing Democrat Chris Coons to that Senate seat.

By the way, the two most recent polls show that Coons has a double digit lead over O’Donnell. A Fairleigh Dickinson University PublicMind survey released yesterday indicates that 53% of likely voters in Delaware are supporting Coons, with 36% backing O’Donnell (it is interesting to note that Fairleigh Dickinson is O’Donnell’s alma mater, so let’s see if she criticizes the poll). Additionally, a University of Delaware Center for Political Communication survey also released yesterday, shows that 49% of Delaware registered voters support Coons with 30% backing O’Donnell.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Sympathy For The Devil song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk

SYMPATHY FOR O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy For The Devil”)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m in the Delaware race
I’ve been around for a couple of years
And I never masturbate

Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ
Has spoken through my campaign
He’ll keep Bill Maher quiet
Seal his mouth as I spread hate

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is my obsession with fame

Do you dare to trust my word
After I robbed my donors of their change
Paid my rent and then I secured
New furniture and a gas-fired range

The sulfur stank
Like a septic tank
On my witchcraft stage
Oh so dark and dank

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

That Sarah P.
Is my Tea-Bag Queen
I drank the Kool-Aid
That she proudly made

I shouted out
“Let’s kill Ted Kennedy”
Cuz his Health Plan’s
Killing you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I am Delaware’s disgrace
And a Tea Party troubadour
Singing lies every day of this race

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, oh yeah, get down, baby

(evolution denial break)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game, um yeah

Just as Medicare is criminal
Republicans are saints
Dumb as Dan Quayle
Just call me O’Donnell
Watch as I apply my war-paint

Coons will defeat me
He’ll refer to me
As the mental-case in this race
Use all his well-learned politics
As he lays my soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
O’Donnell is my name, um yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me honey, don’t ya love my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
If I lose this race, you’re to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who

Alright
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

Thin-Skinned Palin To Run For POTUS?

First of all, Lynnrockets would like to give credit where credit is due for the content of this post. One of the best Alaska blogs in the entire blogosphere, The Mudflats, broke a story yesterday afternoon which hints that an email sent by Todd “Former First Dude” Palin may suggest that Sarah “Queen of Quit” Palin is considering a run for the office of President of the United States.

So as not to steal any thunder from The Mudflats, please read the entire juicy story there. We will simply provide a brief historical background of Todd’s email and a few select quotes therefrom as a set-up for today’s song parody. So, hang on to your seats, as away we go…

You will all remember that Sarah Palin (while wearing her crown as de-facto Queen of the Tea-Baggers) endorsed a very unknown Tea Party candidate named Joe Miller in the Alaskan Republican Senate primary race against heavily favored incumbent Republican Senator (and Palin antagonist) Lisa Murkowski. Well, against all odds, Miller won the primary election and consequently, he is now one of the Tea Party darlings of Fox News. That however, is how a lot of trouble began brewing between Miller and Palin.

You see, the love between Palin and Miller is not mutual. Despite the fact that Palin’s endorsement of Miller was highly instrumental in his primary election victory, Miller will not return the favor by expressing his support of her in a potential White House run. We know this because Miller appeared on Fox News (where else, right?) and when asked if he thought Palin was qualified to be President, he meekly responded only that, “there are a number of great candidates out there.” Not exactly a full fledged endorsement by any stretch of the imagination.

Now this is where the fun begins. Shortly after the Fox News interview was aired, Todd Palin sent an email to the SarahPAC Treasurer (and a bunch of people you can learn more about in the Mudflats post) instructing him to

“Hold off on any letter for Joe. Sarah put her ass on the line for Joe and yet he can’t answer a simple question ‘Is Sarah Palin Qualified to be President’. I DON’T KNOW IF SHE IS.”

Todd then addressed Miller directly in the same email and asked,

“Joe, please explain how this endorsement stuff works, is it to be completely one sided.”

Just what was Todd implying when he asked if “endorsement(s)” were to be “completely one sided”? Was he implying that Sarah Palin was seeking a mutual endorsement from Miller? If so, then for what purpose? Is she planning on running for President? Please do tell, Sarah. Enquiring minds want to know.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxuThNgl3YA

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(instrumental interlude)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(another instrumental)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Christine O’Donnell: Oops, She Did It Again!

What would we do these days without Christine O’Donnell? Inasmuch as our usual target of ridicule, Sarah Palin, has been keeping a low profile by means of only communicating with reality via Facebook and Twitter, O’Donnell has had to fill the void. And, boy oh boy, has she ever stepped up to the plate and whacked a few out of the park!

Every day now, O’Donnell gives us another glimpse into her twisted mind and lifestyle. First we had her call for a masturbation ban. Next, her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.”. Best of all, Mahar claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election.

But wait. That is not all. Last week O’Donnell joined “the Twitter” and immediately emulated her mentor Palin by authoring an absolutely indecipherable tweet having something to do with “GOP porkers.” And now we have a new quote from her that is sure to cause her campaign some non-meatball induced heartburn. CNN reports that according to the Associated Press, the unlikely Delaware GOP Senate nominee said in 2006 that she was privy to classified information that China was engaged in a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.”

“There’s much I want to say. I wish I wasn’t privy to some of the classified information that I am privy to,” O’Donnell said during a Republican primary debate in 2006. She went on to say, “We have to look at our history and realize that if they pretend to be our friend it’s because they’ve got something up their sleeve.” As expected, her ever-secretive campaign has refused to respond to questions as to just what type of “classified information” O’Donnell claims to have been “privy to” or why she had access to classified information in the first place.

It is now a confirmed fact that Christine O’Donnell carries more baggage than a Greyhound Bus. Inasmuch as recent polls show she trails Democrat Chris Coons by double digits, it is time to stick a fork in O’Donnell because she is done.

Witchy Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d8hZtvRPno

WITCHY WOMAN (O’DONNELL VERSION)

(sung to the Eagles song “Witchy Woman”)

Crazy stare on Bill Maher’s clips
She is one of Palin’s dips
O’Donnell is our delight
She’s a crazy Tea-Bagger that’s not too bright
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

I watched Bill Maher the other night
O’Donnell was so uptight
She said Charles Darwin was out of tune,
And his evolution theory was so untrue
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

(masturbation break with oohs and ahhhs)

She can’t seem to keep a lover,
Let me tell ya brother, she’s been sleeping in the Devil’s bed.
And there’s some rumors going round,
Polls are headed down
November will be the right time
To strike this witch dead

Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties