Ann Coulter Is A “MAN”iac

Ann Coulter on Larry King

The Man-Thing is back in the news. Ultra Reich-Wing pundit Ann Coulter suffered a shot to his self esteem last week while in Canada. The acerbic Coulter was scheduled to speak at the University of Ottawa but when he arrived at the venue, he was confronted with a multitude of angry protesters. Were they the Canadian version of Tea-Party protesters that were angered by big government, taxes and a liberal agenda. As John Boehner would say, “Hell, No!!!” They were simply a group of citizens exercising their own right of free speech as guaranteed by Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms. They were protesting against Coulter.

The Brantford Expositor (Ontario) described it like this:

The students at the University of Ottawa were protesting someone who has called for the invasion of Muslim countries, murdering their leaders, and destroying their religion by converting them all to Christianity.

The students were protesting someone who spreads racism, protesting someone who says that women shouldn’t even be allowed to vote. The students were protesting someone who says that Canada is lucky that America even lets them exist on the same continent as them.

So, what was Ann Coulter’s brave response to the presence of protesters? He and his organizers decided to cancel the speaking engagement. The University of Ottawa did not say that Coulter couldn’t speak, and neither did the police nor any elected official. The event was canceled by Coulter and his organizers.

Coulter then attempted to defend his action within the comfy confines of a Fox News guest host appearance. He appeared on last Thursday’s episode of The O’Reilly Factor and blatantly lied about the circumstances leading to his cancellation. he said,

I was nowhere near the building. I was sitting in a lovely Ottawa club with my bodyguard, waiting for them to tell us it was time to come, because you know, they have to get everyone seated. There was a speaker before me. And the cops called my bodyguard and said it’s been canceled. And then we found out about the commotion. So, among the many crazy things in some of the reports, it wasn’t me, my bodyguard, or my people who shut it down. I didn’t even know what was going on.

CBC news reporter Kady O’Malley rebuffed Coulter’s description as follows:

First, contrary to what Coulter seems to suggest in a brief phone interview with Macleans.ca scribe Colby Cosh, it was not the police who “shut it down.” I spoke with Ottawa Police Services media relations officer Alain Boucher this morning, and he told me, in no uncertain terms, that it was her security team that made the decision to call off the event. “We gave her options” — including, he said, to “find a bigger venue” — but “they opted to cancel … It’s not up to the Ottawa police to make that decision.”

This guy Coulter is incapable of telling the truth. He said that Canadians were impinging on his right to free speech yet, how can there be any violation of free speech when someone decides not to speak all by themselves?

As an aside, there have been rumors circulating on the internets tubes for some time now which advance the proposition that Ann Coulter is actually a male. Most of these articles focus on a few missing years during his adolescence when he presumably left the country to have a sex change operation overseas. The articles also often draw attention to his pronounced Adam’s Apple and masculine looking hands. Additionally, it is frequently pointed out that he has never been married or had children.

Here at Blast-Off, we have no idea as to the credibility of the M’ann Coulter rumors. We do, however hope said rumors are true because of the wealth of satirical material which such a situation would spawn. As you can guess, we really do not like Ann Coulter or anything he has to say. So, without further adieu, let’s have a song…

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

Maniac song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AoAExt2qyM&feature=related

SHE’S A “MAN”IAC

(sung to the Flashdance movie song “Maniac”)

Just a shrill boy/girl on a Saturday Night, lookin’ for the fight
of her life
In the real-time world no one sees her at all, they all say
she’s crazy

Adam’s apple, hairy man hands, no heart; unlikely to
be a wife
She has danced into the Tea Bagger Zone; Ann’s a dancer
that may be a man

Ann has been under the knife, and boy is that guy a liar
She’s for hire any time on Fox TV

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure

On the tube tonight with Hannity, tomorrow with Huckabee
She loves them both like Bill O’Reilly. They are all full of it.
The work of Ann’s life is the spreading of slime; Coulter’s tongue
loves spreading lies.
In the Ann Coulter world there’s no hope of romance
Is she a hermaphrodite?

She’s got such gigantic feet, stumbling when she walks the street
If not burping, Coulter is just breaking wind

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a whore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a whore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure

(musical interlude)

Ann leads such a mixed up life, a transvestite and a liar
On that wire between a broad and big sissy

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure
“MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore