Monthly Archives: March 2010

Ann Coulter Is A “MAN”iac

Ann Coulter on Larry King

The Man-Thing is back in the news. Ultra Reich-Wing pundit Ann Coulter suffered a shot to his self esteem last week while in Canada. The acerbic Coulter was scheduled to speak at the University of Ottawa but when he arrived at the venue, he was confronted with a multitude of angry protesters. Were they the Canadian version of Tea-Party protesters that were angered by big government, taxes and a liberal agenda. As John Boehner would say, “Hell, No!!!” They were simply a group of citizens exercising their own right of free speech as guaranteed by Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms. They were protesting against Coulter.

The Brantford Expositor (Ontario) described it like this:

The students at the University of Ottawa were protesting someone who has called for the invasion of Muslim countries, murdering their leaders, and destroying their religion by converting them all to Christianity.

The students were protesting someone who spreads racism, protesting someone who says that women shouldn’t even be allowed to vote. The students were protesting someone who says that Canada is lucky that America even lets them exist on the same continent as them.

So, what was Ann Coulter’s brave response to the presence of protesters? He and his organizers decided to cancel the speaking engagement. The University of Ottawa did not say that Coulter couldn’t speak, and neither did the police nor any elected official. The event was canceled by Coulter and his organizers.

Coulter then attempted to defend his action within the comfy confines of a Fox News guest host appearance. He appeared on last Thursday’s episode of The O’Reilly Factor and blatantly lied about the circumstances leading to his cancellation. he said,

I was nowhere near the building. I was sitting in a lovely Ottawa club with my bodyguard, waiting for them to tell us it was time to come, because you know, they have to get everyone seated. There was a speaker before me. And the cops called my bodyguard and said it’s been canceled. And then we found out about the commotion. So, among the many crazy things in some of the reports, it wasn’t me, my bodyguard, or my people who shut it down. I didn’t even know what was going on.

CBC news reporter Kady O’Malley rebuffed Coulter’s description as follows:

First, contrary to what Coulter seems to suggest in a brief phone interview with Macleans.ca scribe Colby Cosh, it was not the police who “shut it down.” I spoke with Ottawa Police Services media relations officer Alain Boucher this morning, and he told me, in no uncertain terms, that it was her security team that made the decision to call off the event. “We gave her options” — including, he said, to “find a bigger venue” — but “they opted to cancel … It’s not up to the Ottawa police to make that decision.”

This guy Coulter is incapable of telling the truth. He said that Canadians were impinging on his right to free speech yet, how can there be any violation of free speech when someone decides not to speak all by themselves?

As an aside, there have been rumors circulating on the internets tubes for some time now which advance the proposition that Ann Coulter is actually a male. Most of these articles focus on a few missing years during his adolescence when he presumably left the country to have a sex change operation overseas. The articles also often draw attention to his pronounced Adam’s Apple and masculine looking hands. Additionally, it is frequently pointed out that he has never been married or had children.

Here at Blast-Off, we have no idea as to the credibility of the M’ann Coulter rumors. We do, however hope said rumors are true because of the wealth of satirical material which such a situation would spawn. As you can guess, we really do not like Ann Coulter or anything he has to say. So, without further adieu, let’s have a song…

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

Maniac song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AoAExt2qyM&feature=related

SHE’S A “MAN”IAC

(sung to the Flashdance movie song “Maniac”)

Just a shrill boy/girl on a Saturday Night, lookin’ for the fight
of her life
In the real-time world no one sees her at all, they all say
she’s crazy

Adam’s apple, hairy man hands, no heart; unlikely to
be a wife
She has danced into the Tea Bagger Zone; Ann’s a dancer
that may be a man

Ann has been under the knife, and boy is that guy a liar
She’s for hire any time on Fox TV

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure

On the tube tonight with Hannity, tomorrow with Huckabee
She loves them both like Bill O’Reilly. They are all full of it.
The work of Ann’s life is the spreading of slime; Coulter’s tongue
loves spreading lies.
In the Ann Coulter world there’s no hope of romance
Is she a hermaphrodite?

She’s got such gigantic feet, stumbling when she walks the street
If not burping, Coulter is just breaking wind

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a whore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a whore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure

(musical interlude)

Ann leads such a mixed up life, a transvestite and a liar
On that wire between a broad and big sissy

She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
Coulter dances like a drunk guy on the floor
She’s a “MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore
She’ll be out Tea-Partying tonight for sure
“MAN”iac, “MAN”iac and a bore

Tuesday Night Music Byte

Aerosmith is an American hard rock band, sometimes referred to as “The Bad Boys from Boston” and “America’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band”. Their style, which is rooted in blues-based hard rock, has come to also incorporate elements of pop, heavy metal, and rhythm and blues, and has inspired many subsequent rock artists. The band was formed in Boston, Massachusetts in 1970. Guitarist Joe Perry and bassist Tom Hamilton, originally in a band together called the Jam Band, met up with singer Steven Tyler, drummer Joey Kramer, and guitarist Ray Tabano, and formed Aerosmith. In 1971, Tabano was replaced by Brad Whitford, and the band began developing a following in Boston.

They were signed to Columbia Records in 1972, and released a string of multi-platinum albums, beginning with their 1973 eponymous debut album. In 1975, the band broke into the mainstream with the album Toys in the Attic, and their 1976 follow-up Rocks cemented their status as hard rock superstars. By the end of the 1970s, they were among the most popular hard rock bands in the world and developed a loyal following of fans, often referred to as the “Blue Army”. However, drug addiction and internal conflict took their toll on the band, which resulted in the departures of Perry and Whitford, in 1979 and 1981 respectively. They were replaced by Jimmy Crespo and Rick Dufay. The band did not fare well between 1980 and 1984, releasing a lone album, Rock in a Hard Place, which went gold but failed to match their previous successes.

Although Perry and Whitford returned in 1984 and the band signed a new deal with Geffen Records, it was not until the band sobered up and released 1987’s Permanent Vacation that they regained the level of popularity they had experienced in the 1970s. Throughout the late 1980s and 1990s, the band scored several hits and won numerous awards for music from the multi-platinum albums Pump (1989), Get a Grip (1993), and Nine Lives (1997). Their comeback has been described as one of the most remarkable and spectacular in rock ‘n’ roll history.  After 40 years of performing, the band continues to tour and record music.

Aerosmith is the best-selling American rock band of all time, having sold more than 150 million albums worldwide, including 66.5 million albums in the United States alone. They also hold the record for the most gold and multi-platinum albums by an American group. The band has scored 21 Top 40 hits on the Billboard Hot 100, nine #1 Mainstream Rock hits, four Grammy Awards, and ten MTV Video Music Awards. They were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2001, and in 2005 they were ranked #57 in Rolling Stone magazine’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.
Please enjoy this video clip of Aerosmith playing the Beatles song, “Come Together” from the 1978 film “Sgt. Pepper’s lonely Hearts Club Band”.

Sarah Palin Has Blood In Her Sights And On Her Hands

Let’s be blunt. Sarah Palin is a bad person. She claims to be a pro-lifer, but in reality she has no respect for life. During her short lived and aborted stint as Governor of Alaska, Palin made every effort to keep such animals as the polar bear and the Beluga whale off of the endangered species list. Think about that for a moment. This sad excuse for a human being exhausted every effort to expedite the extinction of entire species of God’s creatures. She also personally violated most every hunter’s code of conduct by encouraging the shooting of wolves from helicopters. She was even insensitive enough to continue filming an interview after it was brought to her attention that a turkey was being beheaded in the background.

It is not just the lives of animals that Sarah Palin has little care for however. She is also very unconcerned about the existence of human life. Why else would she do everything in her power, including fabricating a lie about “death panels”, in an attempt to prevent the passage of the health care reform bill? Palin is aware of the fact that 45,000 Americans die each year because they have no means to access health insurance. She is also aware that more than 30 million citizens of this great nation of ours are uninsured. Yet, she opposed a law that would enable the uninsured to obtain medical services which might save their lives.

Thankfully Sarah Palin’s opposition to health care reform was not shared by the American people or the majority of Congress. Health care reform became law last week for the good of the nation but to the consternation of pouting Palin. Now Sarah Palin is out for revenge. She intends to make her point by inciting her brain-dead Tea-Bagger followers to violence against Democratic Party members of Congress that voted in favor of the health care reform bill.

Her first action was to unleash a violent call to arms via her SarahPAC website. Palin literally targeted 20 House Democrats that voted for health care reform. She named each one of them and placed a symbolic rifle-sight illustration over each of their districts on a map of the United States. As if that symbolism were not gruesome enough, Palin then issued a call to arms to her followers by means of the following ominous words emblazoned on the website: “It’s Time To Take A Stand”.

If one of her nutjob followers takes her incitement to the extreme. Sarah Palin will have more blood on her hands and a lot to answer for.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boww2CMtOo4

HIT ‘EM WITH YOUR BEST SHOT

(sung to the Pat Benatar song “Hit me With Your Best Shot”)

Well she’s a real tough cookie in the mean G.O.P.
A bitch without a heart; that is Sarah P.
She hates Dems and she’s gonna prove it
Just like the Duke, she’s gonna come out shootin’

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

A slimy, lying moron, losing her hair
She plays the game but she don’t play fair
Blamed her loss on John McCain
But she flushed him right down the drain

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

(musical interlude)

A political rookie with a poor history
She can see Russia from her balcony
Palin just took another gun from her rifle case
She’s gonna shoot a Democrat in the face

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

Scott Brown Says, “Let ‘Em Eat Beefcake”

Scott Brown's Senate campaign poster

After a stripper has removed all of his/her clothing, he/she has nothing left to entertain the audience. That is precisely the predicament that the newly elected Republican Senator from Massachusetts now finds himself in. When Scott Brown emerged on the political scene last November, the only thing most Bay State voters knew about him was that he posed nude for a centerfold spread a few years earlier. Other than that dubious distinction, there was nothing else anybody knew about him. He had no issue to call his own.

Enter the Tea-Baggers. When the Tea Party realized that Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat was open, they saw an opportunity to put the final nail in the coffin of health care reform. What better way to defeat the Democratic bill than to take away the 60th filibuster-proof Democratic vote and simultaneously elect a Republican in liberal Massachusetts and to Ted Kennedy’s own seat to boot? Consequently, they rallied behind Brown and flooded the Commonwealth with out of state money.

Scott Brown took the bait and the money also, too. He quickly took up the Tea-Bagger anti-health-care-reform mantra. His campaign slogan became, “I will not be the 60th vote in favor of health care reform, but the 41st vote against it”. For the next two months of the shortened special election campaign, Brown spoke only about his opposition to health care reform. For some unknown reason, the voters did not question the fact that while he was a state senator in 2006, Brown actually voted in favor of Massachusetts’ much more liberal health care reform law which became the actual model for the Democrats’ national reform bill. Nevertheless, Brown won the election on that single issue.

That issue-based victory however, may cost Scott Brown his next election in 2012 (there were only two years remaining in Kennedy’s term when he died). The first vote that he recorded as a Senator was a vote in favor of a Democratic Party sponsored jobs bill that was vehemently opposed by most Republicans and all Tea-Baggers. Next, the House of Representatives elected to pass the Senate version of the health care reform bill, thereby depriving the Republicans (and specifically, Scott Brown) from using their coveted 41st vote to defeat the bill by means of filibuster. In other words, Scott brown defied his base with the jobs bill vote and then never had the opportunity to appease them with his 41st vote against health care reform.

The health care reform bill is now law. Scott Brown lost the war on his only conservative issue. He was a one-trick pony and his horse has now gone out to pasture. The Tea-Baggers will now deem the nudist to be expendable because not only did he defy them on the jobs bill, but he is also considered to be somewhat of a social liberal (he is pro-choice and in favor of gay unions). Simply speaking, the Tea Party no longer needs Scott Brown nor do they favor his social liberalism (which he needs to be elected in Massachusetts). Consequently, they will not fill his coffers in the next election. Additionally, the Democrats received a wake-up call with Brown’s election and they will be geared up to regain their seat in 2012. Scott Brown’s last bit of clothing was his opposition to health care reform.  That shred of costume is now lying on the stage floor. Scott Brown is naked once again, the music has stopped and now his performance is over.

CONGRATULATIONS !

Congratulation are once again in order for the Boston College men’s ice hockey team which defeated Yale University yesterday by a score of 9 – 7 and will now advance to the Frozen Four. This will be the ninth time in the last thirteen years that the Eagles have reached the Frozen Four. The Eagles will face Miami of Ohio in their next game. Good luck, Eagles. Let’s bring home our 4th national title!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Downtown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUSYb3igXzI

SCOTT BROWN

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

And maybe you’ll see him bare
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – get right down on all fours
Scott Brown – don’t wait a minute more
Scott Brown – Larry Craig’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 31

Just a few news bits that have been careening around the cosmos this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin and the Tea-Baggers teamed up in Searchlight, Nevada yesterday to rally against the re-election efforts of Democratic Senator Harry Reid. For his part, Reid was nonplussed. He said he was “happy so many people came to see my hometown of Searchlight and spend their out-of-state money especially in these tough economic times. Ultimately, though, this election will be decided by Nevadans, not people from other states who parachute in for one day to have a tea party.”

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is teaming up once again with John McCain. No, they have not announced that they will once again be running for the nation’s top office. This time Palin is campaigning for McCain in his bid for re-election to the Senate. This proves that John McCain is clinically insane. No sane person who was drowning would ask for someone to throw him an anchor.

BREAKING NEWS: TeaParty.org founder Dale Robertson brandished a sign with the (misspelled) word “niggar.” Listen, Tea-Baggers, if you insist upon being racists, at least be literate racists.

THIS JUST IN: What is it with Republicans and their obsession with having sex with animals? Sen. John McCain’s (R-Ariz.) primary challenger, former Arizona congressman J.D. Hayworth, warned this past weekend that the same-sex marriage decision handed down by the Massachusetts Supreme Court is so loose in its logic and wording that it could lead to a man marrying his horse.

BREAKING NEWS: A recent Harris Poll reveals that 14 percent of Americans say President Barack Obama may be the Antichrist. When split by political party, 24 percent of Republicans and 6 percent of Democrats viewed the nation’s leader in this way. Ok, I can understand the ignorant Republicans, but who are these 6 percent of Democrats?

THIS JUST IN: The Federal Elections Commission is investigating moonbat crazy Michele Bachmann yet again. How is it that this self described former “Tax Lawyer” cannot seem to add?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “It’s About Time” features the mainstream media. This morning’s Boston Globe has finally printed an article which exposes the truth that Republicans want to hide. As we all know, since the passage of health care reform into law, every Republican has sought out the media outlet of his/her choice (generally Fox News) to rant about the unconstitutionality or outright illegality of the individual insurance mandate provision of the new law. The Globe reports the dirty secret however, that the G.O.P. was in favor of mandates before they were against them. Indeed, the whole idea of requiring individuals to purchase health insurance was floated by the uber-conservative Heritage Foundation in the 1990’s as a way to avoid a single payer system. The Globe also points out that two of the G.O.P.’s fiercest critics of the mandate, former Massachusetts Governor Mittwit Romney and recently elected nudist Senator Scott Brown, voted in favor of the mandate in MA and actually signed it into law back in 2006. The Boston Globe has revealed that the true basis for Republican opposition to health care reform is not the content of the law, but rather a blind obsession with opposing anything that the Obama administration hopes to accomplish regardless of merit. They have earned the moniker, “The Party of No”.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of The Boston Globe and the clothing challenged Scott Brown, have you heard the latest? In an attempt to rake in dwindling out of state donations to his campaign coffer, Brown has recently shown up on many Fox News telecasts as well as on any nationally syndicated or local right wing radio programs to proclaim that he will be challenged in his re-election bid in 2012 by MSNBC host Rachel Maddow. This is news to Rachel Maddow. When she heard the rumor, she immediately declared on her television show that she would not be running for office. She also appeared as a guest on both Ed Schultz‘s radio and television programs to confirm the same. End to the rumor? Nope, Scott Brown continued to insist that Massachusetts resident Maddow would be the Democratic challenger to his seat. In an effort to quash the rumor and expose Brown’s lying ways, Maddow took out a full page ad in Friday’s edition of The Boston Globe. The ad ( a copy of which can be seen here) was a duplicate of the personal letter that she mailed to Brown. The citizens of Massachusetts are finally learning something about the dark side of the person that they just elected to fill Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat. Let’s hope they kick him out in 2012 regardless of the absence of Rachel Maddow.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of  “Alaskans, I Love You , But…” features the Boston College men’s hockey team. The Boston Globe reports this morning,

When it comes to the big stage, Boston College has a veteran presence. The Eagles brought their experience, talent, determination, and winning pedigree to the Northeast Regional semifinals at the DCU Center (in Worcester, MA) yesterday against an inexperienced Alaska-Fairbanks team that traveled more than 4,000 miles to compete in its first NCAA Tournament.

The Nanooks (18-12-9) showed remarkable poise and grit but the Eagles had more scoring touch and escaped with a 3-1 victory.

BC (26-10-3) improved to 11-0 all time in the first round of the NCAAs and will face Yale, a 3-2 winner over North Dakota.

As a tribute to the BC icemen, here are the Dropkick Murphy’s performing the Boston College fight song, “For Boston”.


Just a little Sarah Palin dittie to start your day. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Born In The USA song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oVzHm_S0-A

BORN IN GOOD OLD AK

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song, “Born In The U.S.A.”)

Born in an Idaho town
When my parents looked at me they could only frown
My dad he had a job that he sure did hate
So he loaded up the truck and we left the state

I wish I was…

(chorus)
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

We moved to the town of Wasilla
A bland place sort of like vanilla
I became a man killer
A temperament like Godzilla

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I was soon running for the VP
John McCain said I was so “mavericky”
He bought me shoes and a real fine dress
Then he kicked me off the “Straight Talk Express”

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I went back to state 49
Acted as if the whole place was mine
I did bitch, I did whine
Committed more than one ethics crime
I did the acts but I won’t serve the time

Up on the North Slope where the oil does flow
I cut some deals oughta make me some dough
Then I think I’ll write a book
You can make a lot of dough when you’re a crook

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
I’m a lipstick wearin’ pig in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
I’m a pocket hockey momma in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
(fading)

Saturday Night Music Byte

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is an American musical film released in 1978. Its soundtrack, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, features new versions of songs originally written and performed by The Beatles. The film draws primarily from two of their albums, 1967’s Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and 1969’s Abbey Road.

The production is somewhat adapted from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band on the Road, a 1974 off-Broadway production directed by Tom O’Horgan. It tells the loosely-constructed story of a band as they wrangle with the music industry and battle evil forces bent on stealing their instruments and corrupting their home town of Heartland. The film is presented in a form similar to that of a rock opera with the Beatles’ songs providing “dialogue” to carry the story, with only George Burns having spoken lines that act to clarify the plot and provide further narration.

The feature performers were:

  • The Bee Gees, Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, whose music had been integral to Saturday Night Fever (released by this film’s international distributor, Paramount Pictures), play Mark, David and Bob Henderson, members of the re-formed Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
  • Peter Frampton, whose album Frampton Comes Alive! was the biggest-selling live album ever at the time, plays Billy Shears, leader of the re-formed band and grandson of the original Sgt. Pepper character.
  • Steve Martin, whose A Wild and Crazy Guy was released that same year, reaching number two on the music-dominated Billboard 200 album charts. His performance as Dr. Maxwell Edison, singing Maxwell’s Silver Hammer, foreshadows his zany dentist role in Little Shop of Horrors.

The cast also featured British comedian Frankie Howerd as Mean Mr. Mustard (his only major U.S. film appearance), Paul Nicholas as Dougie Shears, George Burns as Mr. Kite, Donald Pleasence as B.D., referred to in Burns’ narrative voice-over as B.D. Hoffler, but officially known in the film’s credits and publicity materials as B.D. Brockhurst (for unknown reasons), Sandy Farina as Strawberry Fields, Dianne Steinberg as Lucy, Aerosmith as Future Villain Band (FVB), Earth Wind and Fire, who appear as themselves, Billy Preston as the magical Sgt. Pepper golden weather vane come to life, Alice Cooper as Father Sun, and Stargard as the Diamonds.

The movie stinks, but here is a video clip of Alice Cooper from the film.

An Appealing Appeal From A Conservative To Conservatives

The following is one of the best blog posts that I have ever seen with regard to how conservatives have allowed their political philosophy and their political party (Republican) to by hijacked by ignorant extremists. I have only posted the portion of the post that addresses conservative hypocrisy. At the end of the post you will find a link to the original article from TPM Muckraker. Please click on the link to read the full article. It will be worth your while.

An open letter to conservatives

March 22, 2010, 3:16PM

Dear Conservative Americans,

The years have not been kind to you. I grew up in a profoundly Republican home, so I can remember when you wore a very different face than the one we see now.  You’ve lost me and you’ve lost most of America.  Because I believe having responsible choices is important to democracy, I’d like to give you some advice and an invitation.

First, the invitation:  Come back to us.

Now the advice.  You’re going to have to come up with a platform that isn’t built on a foundation of cowardice: fear of people with colors, religions, cultures and sex lives that differ from your own; fear of reform in banking, health care, energy; fantasy fears of America being transformed into an Islamic nation, into social/commun/fasc-ism, into a disarmed populace put in internment camps; and more.  But you have work to do even before you take on that task.

Your party — the GOP — and the conservative end of the American political spectrum have become irresponsible and irrational.  Worse, it’s tolerating, promoting and celebrating prejudice and hatred.  Let me provide some examples — by no means an exhaustive list — of where the Right as gotten itself stuck in a swamp of hypocrisy, hyperbole, historical inaccuracy and hatred.

If you’re going to regain your stature as a party of rational, responsible people, you’ll have to start by draining this swamp:

Hypocrisy

You can’t flip out — and threaten impeachment - when Dems use a parliamentary procedure (deem and pass) that you used repeatedly (more than 35 times in just one session and more than 100 times in all!), that’s centuries old and which the courts have supported. Especially when your leaders admit it all.

You can’t vote and scream against the stimulus package and then take credit for the good it’s done in your own district (happily handing out enormous checks representing money that you voted against, is especially ugly) —  114 of you (at last count) did just that — and it’s even worse when you secretly beg for more.

You can’t fight against your own ideas just because the Dem president endorses your proposal.

You can’t call for a pay-as-you-go policy, and then vote against your own ideas.

Are they “unlawful enemy combatants” or are they “prisoners of war” at Gitmo? You can’t have it both ways.

You can’t carry on about the evils of government spending when your family has accepted more than a quarter-million dollars in government handouts.

You can’t refuse to go to a scheduled meeting, to which you were invited, and then blame the Dems because they didn’t meet with you.

You can’t rail against using teleprompters while using teleprompters. Repeatedly.

You can’t rail against the bank bailouts when you supported them as they were happening.

You can’t be for immigration reform, then against it .

You can’t enjoy socialized medicine while condemning it.

You can’t flip out when the black president puts his feet on the presidential desk when you were silent about white presidents doing the same.  Bush.  Ford.

You can’t complain that the president hasn’t closed Gitmo yet when you’ve campaigned to keep Gitmo open.

You can’t flip out when the black president bows to foreign dignitaries, as appropriate for their culture, when you were silent when the white presidents did the same. Bush.  Nixon. Ike. You didn’t even make a peep when Bush held hands and kissed (on the mouth) leaders of countries that are not on “kissing terms” with the US.

You can’t complain that the undies bomber was read his Miranda rights under Obama when the shoe bomber was read his Miranda rights under Bush and you remained silent.  (And, no, Newt — the shoe bomber was not a US citizen either, so there is no difference.)

You can’t attack the Dem president for not personally* publicly condemning a terrorist event for 72 hours when you said nothing about the Rep president waiting 6 days in an eerily similar incident (and, even then, he didn’t issue any condemnation).  *Obama administration did the day of the event.

You can’t throw a hissy fitsound alarms and cry that Obama freed Gitmo prisoners who later helped plan the Christmas Day undie bombing, when — in fact — only one former Gitmo detainee, released by Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, helped to plan the failed attack.

You can’t condemn blaming the Republican president for an attempted terror attack on his watch, then blame the Dem president for an attempted terror attack on his.

You can’t mount a boycott against singers who say they’re ashamed of the president for starting a war, but remain silent when another singer says he’s ashamed of the president and falsely calls him a Maoist who makes him want to throw up and says he ought to be in jail.

You can’t cry that the health care bill is too long, then cry that it’s too short.

You can’t support the individual mandate for health insurance, then call it unconstitutional when Dems propose it and campaign against your own ideas.

You can’t demand television coverage, then whine about it when you get it.  Repeatedly.

You can’t praise criminal trials in US courts for terror suspects under a Rep president, then call it “treasonous” under a Dem president.

You can’t propose ideas to create jobs, and then work against them when the Dems put your ideas in a bill.

You can’t be both pro-choice and anti-choice.

You can’t damn someone for failing to pay $900 in taxes when you’ve paid nearly $20,000 in IRS fines.

You can’t condemn criticizing the president when US troops are in harms way, then attack the president when US troops are in harms way , the only difference being the president’s party affiliation (and, by the way, armed conflict does NOT remove our right and our duty as Americans to speak up).

You can’t be both for cap-and-trade policy and against it.

You can’t vote to block debate on a bill, then bemoan the lack of  ‘open debate’.

If you push anti-gay legislation and make anti-gay speeches, you should probably take a pass on having gay sex, regardless of whether it’s 2004 or 2010.  This is true, too, if you’re taking GOP money and giving anti-gay rants on CNN.  Taking right-wing money and GOP favors to write anti-gay stories for news sites while working as a gay prostitute, doubles down on both the hypocrisy and the prostitution.  This is especially true if you claim your anti-gay stand is God’s stand, too.

When you chair the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, you can’t send sexy emails to 16-year-old boys (illegal anyway, but you made it hypocritical as well).

You can’t criticize Dems for not doing something you didn’t do while you held power over the past 16 years, especially when the Dems have done more in one year than you did in 16.

You can’t decry “name calling” when you’ve been the most consistent and outrageous at it. And the most vile.

You can’t spend more than 40 years hating, cutting and trying to kill Medicare, and then pretend to be the defenders of Medicare

You can’t praise the Congressional Budget Office when it’s analysis produces numbers that fit your political agenda, then claim it’s unreliable when it comes up with numbers that don’t.

You can’t vote for X under a Republican president, then vote against X under a Democratic president.  Either you support X or you don’t. And it makes it worse when you change your position merely for the sake obstructionism.

You can’t call a reconciliation out of bounds when you used it repeatedly.

You can’t spend taxpayer money on ads against spending taxpayer money.

You can’t condemn individual health insurance mandates in a Dem bill, when the mandates were your idea.

You can’t demand everyone listen to the generals when they say what fits your agenda, and then ignore them when they don’t.

You can’t whine that it’s unfair when people accuse you of exploiting racism for political gain, when your party’s former leader admits you’ve been doing it for decades.

You can’t portray yourself as fighting terrorists when you openly and passionately support terrorists.

You can’t complain about a lack of bipartisanship when you’ve routinely obstructed for the sake of political gain — threatening to filibuster at least 100 pieces of legislation in one session, far more than any other since the procedural tactic was invented — and admitted it.  Some admissions are unintentional, others are made proudly. This is especially true when the bill is the result of decades of compromise between the two parties and is filled with your own ideas.

You can’t question the loyalty of Department of Justice lawyers when you didn’t object when your own Republican president appointed them.

You can’t preach and try to legislate “Family Values” when you: take nude hot tub dips with teenagers (and pay them hush money); cheat on your wife with a secret lover and lie about it to the world; cheat with a staffer’s wife (and pay them off with a new job); pay hookers for sex while wearing a diaper and cheating on your wife; or just enjoying an old fashioned non-kinky cheating on your wife; try to have gay sex in a public toilet; authorize the rape of children in Iraqi prisons to coerce their parents into providing information; seek, look at or have sex with children; replace a guy who cheats on his wife with a guy who cheats on his pregnant wife with his wife’s mother;

Read the rest of this wonderful post here.

Friday Night Music Byte

Originally established as a side project from Talking Heads, Tom Tom Club comprised a loose aggregation of musicians, sound engineers and artists of the Compass Point All Stars family, including Tina Weymouth’s sisters and guitarist Adrian Belew, the latter of whom toured with Weymouth and Frantz in the expanded version of Talking Heads in 1980 and 1981.

Named after the dancehall in the Bahamas where they rehearsed for the first time while on hiatus from Talking Heads in 1980, Tom Tom Club enjoyed early success in the dance club culture of the early 1980s with the hits “Genius of Love” and “Wordy Rappinghood”, both of which were taken from their self-titled first album released on Sire in the US and Island Records elsewhere in 1981.

“Genius of Love” has been sampled or reinterpreted by many artists, including MC Redman, Funkdoobiest, and Mariah Carey in her hit single “Fantasy”. “It’s Nasty” (1982) by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five was one of the early hip-hop versions of the song, however the sample was re-recorded by a live band rather than just taken from the original recording, as was common practice at the time. Another version, “Genius Rap” (1981), by Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde, was the first cover version. Max B also sampled “Genius of Love” in his single “Get Outta Jail”.

Tom Tom Club appeared in the Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense in 1984, performing “Genius of Love”. The following, is a video clip of that performance which took place during the time that Talking heads frontman David Byrne was offstage and changing into his famous Big Suit. Please enjoy!

Mittwit Romney Has No “Big Love” For Health Care Law

Former Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has been absent from the news cycle for quite awhile. The ex-Massachusetts governor has been losing airtime to other G.O.P.ers such as Sarah Palin, John Cornyn, Newt Gingrich and even the newly elected nudist, Scott Brown. This does not sit well with the “Mittwit” however, because he continues to harbor hopes of capturing the 2012 Republican nomination. Consequently, Romney propelled himself back into the public eye this Monday when he brashly announced that he supports the repeal of the newly enacted health care reform law. He called the law, “An unconscionable abuse of power,” and also said that President Obama, “has betrayed his oath to the nation.”

Them sure sounds like fightin’ words, but might Romney have picked the wrong issue upon which to wage war with the Democrats? Inasmuch as Romney has had problems in the past defending himself against allegations that he flip-flops on the issues, it would appear that the subject of health care reform is something that he would shy away from. His history of changing positions on the subject is not something he should boast about.

Progressive Democrats of America summed things up nicely when they said:

When it comes to healthcare, his hypocrisy is particularly galling. Romney is actually the only governor in American history ever to impose an individual health insurance mandate on his citizens. And an individual mandate, of course, is at the heart of Obama’s reform package. Nor is the mandate the only common ground between RomneyCare and ObamaCare; the Massachusetts plan that Romney signed into law in 2006 is essentially the blueprint for Obama’s plan. Both rely on the same basic formula: a requirement that everyone purchase insurance and government assistance for those who can’t afford it.

So, as the saying goes, Romney actually had “Big Love” for Obamacare before he was against it. It is also interesting to note that way back four years ago when Romney signed  Massachusetts health care reform into law, the Republican Party as a whole was congratulating itself on the accomplishment. They prided themselves on the fact that they “stole the thunder” from the Democrats. Oh what a difference a few short years can make.

What do you say if we take a look at some of Mittwit Romney’s other famous flip-flops which were captured on video?

That was amusing, but wouldn’t it be even more fun hearing some of this stuff right from the horse’s mouth? Well, simply ask and you shall receive…

Now let’s watch Mittwit unsuccessfully try to defend his flip-flops while being interviewed on 60 Minutes.

Honestly, who in their right mind would give any credence to anything Mitt Romney says, let alone vote for him in a Presidential election? In many regards, Romney is simply a better educated, more sophisticated and better cultured Sarah Palin. In other words, Romney, like Palin, is simply unqualified and not firm in his convictions enough to be President.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riFR_UxRwaQ

MITT IS THE GREAT PRETENDER

(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

Thursday Night Irish Music Byte

Irish Music Week continues…

In 1972 the Beatles had broken up. John Lennon was now married to Yoko Ono and his solo career was in its infancy. He released an album titled Some Time In New York City which was as un- Beatle-like as one could imagine. No pop songs but a lot of political commentary. One of those songs was Luck Of The Irish. It  was written shortly after the Derry Bloody Sunday massacre by British soldiers and was a sarcastic yet poignent description of Anglo/Irish relations at the time.

Please enjoy this video clip of John and Yoko performing this wonderful song. Also, please recognize that Yoko Ono is a lot better a performer than pop culture has led you to believe.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 114 other followers