Sarah Palin And The Other G.O.P. Unemployed Zeroes

As Sarah Palin, the ex-former quitting Governor of Alaska, prepares to embark on her nationwide rural hamlet book tour it reminded us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off of all of those other former Republican office holders who now have nothing better to do than offer their warped opinions to whoever (or is it, “whomever”, I’m never quite sure) will listen.

Public enemy number one is Newt Gingrich, the former disgraced and dethroned Speaker of the House. This guy was unceremoniously thrown out of the leadership position by his own party which prompted his resignation in 1998. Nonetheless, if you scan through your television channels any night during primetime, you are likely to see this wife-cheating bag of gas bloviating to some talking head about his vision of the future for the G.O.P. Does he not realize that the words, “Newt Gingrich” and “future” are mutually exclusive?

Next we have former New York City mayor, Rudolph Giuliani. Like the aforementioned Gingrich, this wife-cheating disaster of a Presidential candidate can be found nightly opining on all things political with the Fox News host of his choice. Of course he has nothing of substance to say. Vice President Joe Biden put it best when he said, “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence — a noun, a verb, and 9/11. There’s nothing else!” That truly sums up Rudy in a nutshell.

How about former Vice President, Dick Cheney? He of the “dithering” remark regarding President Obama’s contemplative and non-knee-jerk method of deciding what course of action to take in Afghanistan. We all know that Cheney’s trigger finger reaction would be to simply go in there with all guns blaring and no real plan. After all, didn’t he use that method when he shot his best friend in the face? We also learned last week that while being questioned by the FBI regarding the Valerie Plame identity leak, Cheney answered questions by saying, “I don’t recall” more than two dozen times. Consequently, should anyone be interested in getting advice from this forgetful old fool. He might consider checking into the Ronald Reagan Memorial Alzheimer’s ward.

Today’s song parody will pay tribute to these and some other unemployed Republicans who will not go away. Please enjoy.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with this great tune and to have more fun singing along to the parody.

Celluloid Heroes song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh23A2GptAQ&feature=PlayList&p=5AC4C35A0BBF1943&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32

UNEMPLOYED ZEROES

(sung to the Kinks song “Celluloid Heroes”)

Everyone is a schemer and they are all fading stars
And everyone is so goofy, they all should be feathered and tarred
They’re not far from your own city
A creeping louse is on every street
They have no jobs so they walk the boulevard
Their careers ended in defeat

Just look at Scooter Libby,  George Bush spared him the jail yard
He lied for old Dick Cheney,  now finding work will be real hard
Condoleezza Rice was a princess
While she occupied her throne
But she lied about those weapons
Now no-one will throw her a bone

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Rudolph Giuliani had a trio of wives
And if not for 9/11, White House dreams could not survive
Former Governor, Caribou Barbie
Was a lip-sticked dog with no bite
The blunders that Palin gave us
Will follow her the rest of her life

Cheney was thrown out like garbage
He shot his friend and he smiled
And then there’s George “Macaca” Allen
You’ve just got to love his style
And please don’t forget dear Larry Craig
With his stylish steel handcuffs
While in a Men’s Room stall he copped a feel
And then Idahoans had had enough

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down that Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Everyone is a schemer and they are all fading stars
And they all think they’re in show biz, trying to show on radar
And though some were successful
Now they must be on guard
Success walks hand in hand with failure
Along Unemployed Boulevard

Their sordid lives are a non-stop Hollywood tabloid show
A fantasy world of unemployed villains and zeroes
And those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down that Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

Their sordid lives are a non-stop Hollywood tabloid show
A fantasy world of unemployed villains and zeroes
And those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 18

BREAKING NEWS: Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show which airs nightly on the Comedy Central network is a more accurate news source than Fox News. Last week the writers of the comedy program discovered that Fox’s Sean Hannity had deceived viewers of his program into believing that Michele Bachman’s Tea-Bagging protest in Washington DC was attended by many thousands more people than were actually in attendance. While commenting on the massive attendance, Hannity showed video of the teeming masses to prove his point. Problem is, Jon Stewart astutely pointed out that the video was not of Bachmann’s event at all. Rather, the video was from the September 12th protest. When the deception became public Hannity was forced to apologize on air. The apology was only half-hearted however, as Hannity said the older video footage was inadvertently inserted into the story. Sure it was Sean. That sounds plausible. No go and take your medicine.

THIS JUST IN: This week Lou Dobbs quit his broadcasting position on CNN. For months Dobbs had found himself in the cross-hairs of a Latino sponsored advertiser boycott of his show. The boycott resulted from his persistent (yet false and misleading) reporting that illegal immigrants were the cause of most, if not all, of the nation’s problems ranging from unemployment to leprosy. Dobb’s on-air explanation as to why he was quitting was as confusing and uninformative as that of the other famous quitter, Sarah Palin.

BREAKING NEWS: While still licking his wounds from the Jon Stewart smackdown, Sean Hannity invited former (dare we say, “washed-up”) movie actor/martial artist Chuck Norris on his program. When asked by Hannity if he would enter politics, Norris responded by saying that he would kill his opponents and members of Congress that he believed were dishonest. I do not think that this was the response that Hannity anticipated.

THIS JUST IN: More on the clowns at Fox News. When it was announced last week that alleged 9/11 terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed would face trial in a New York Federal District Court rather than in a military tribunal, most of the self titled Fox commentators were outraged. Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly all reported that trials in the federal court system would be too lenient and provide a stage upon which the defendant could state his beliefs. As evidence of this, O’Reilly drew attention to the four year trial of Zacarias Moussaoui. Of course he failed to mention that Moussaoui was actually convicted. Why do Fox commentators always claim that they believe in and want to protect American institutions and in the very next breath emote distrust of the cornerstone of all American institutions, the rule of law and an open court system?

BREAKING NEWS: Finally, the week would not be complete without more news from the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. Her ghost-written memoir, Going Rogue will be released for sale this week but advance copies of it have been released to the press. Needless to say, many who have seen it believe that it is chock-full of lies. The most vocal of critics thus far have been former John McCain campaign officials. One of them, Nicolle Wallace, the former White House Communications Director for George W. Bush, says that Palin’s description of the events surrounding the disastrous Katie Couric interview are completely false. Also too, McCain’s former presidential campaign manager, Steve Schmidt says that the portions of the book that describe his interactions with Palin are, “total fiction.” Ouch !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Sunday Papers song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5r1ub00btE&feature=related

SUNDAY PAPERS

(sung to the Joe Jackson song “Sunday Papers”)

Palin doesn’t go out anymore
Just sits at home and winks and blinks her eyes
But every weekend through the door
We get to learn what she would like to hide

If you want to know about her daughter on the mattress
If you want to know who SarahPAC are
If you wonder why the Palins are such mad-hatters
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers

Sarah’s big hair isn’t hers at all
She watches cartoons when the tv’s on
Whenever Meg Stapleton calls
We’ll know the facts when Sunday comes along

If you want to know why Sarah P. went bonkers
If you want to know where the children are
If you want to know about her donor suckers
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Dinner dates on Ebay now I guess
Will it be Taco Bell or reindeer stew
Palin’s got something against the press
They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true

If you want to know how she paid for her kitchen (yeah!)
If you want to know where campaign gifts are
If you want to know the next job that she’ll be quittin’
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
(repeat to fade)

Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue” Is Banned By Wasilla, AK Public Library

The Sarah Palin media blitz is now in a full court press. Have you noticed that since last week she gives more interviews each day than she gave during the entire time that she unsuccessfully ran for Vice President? As usual however, her dementia becomes more apparent each time she opens her mouth. The contradictions are fast and furious.

By now everyone has seen the released snippets of Palin’s appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show. She tells Oprah (regarding the Katie Couric interview), “if you thought that was a good interview, I don’t know what a bad interview is because I knew it was a bad interview.” Yet despite this seemingly honest admission that she made a dope of herself on national television, Palin has a different take on the subject in her soon to be released ghost-written memoir. In Going Rogue she says that she was blindsided by Katie Couric’s devastating interviews last year because John McCain’s aides lulled her into thinking the CBS anchorwoman was a fan. She then writes that  Couric was,“badgering,” had a “partisan agenda” and edited out Palin’s substantive remarks in favor of “gotcha” lines. So which one is it, Sarah? Did you give a poor performance because of your lack of preparation and/or knowledge, or did you never have a chance to shine because of the “gotcha media”? Make up your mind for once, will you please.

If there was ever a book to be banned by her hometown public library for the betterment of society, Going Rogue might be it. There is nothing new to be learned about the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska therein. Palin simply continues to portray herself as the innocent victim of the media, John McCain’s staff and the world in general. The New York Daily News reports that one McCain staffer said this about the tome, “This will reinforce the fact that 25% of the country loves her and everybody else thinks she’s not up to it.” The paper also says that another former McCain staffer predicts the book will kill off whatever presidential dreams she may harbor for 2012. Let’s hope so.

It should also be noted that Sarah Palin had some other bad news this week. As the result of faulty wiring at her Wasilla, Alaska home, her private library was completely destroyed by fire. Both books went poof… up in flames, and Palin had not yet even finished coloring one of them.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Sarah Palin, The Book Tour Bore (Reposted and Updated)

Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.

Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is the epitome of “the gift that keeps on giving.” A few weeks ago we learned that not only is she job hunting by means of posting her resume on LinkedIn, the Facebook for grown-ups, but we also learned that she will appear for an interview with Oprah on the eve of the release of her ghostwritten pop-up memoir. Wow, where to begin?

Palin is either in such dire financial straits that she will do anything to get a new job and stir up some book sales, or she is a dim-witted glutton for punishment. Then again, those choices are not mutually exclusive. Has anybody heard anything about any job offers springing from LinkedIn? We certainly have not. Strangely enough however, Levi Johnston, her once and future son-in-law, seems to be moving up in the world by means of chumming around with Donald Trump and evolving into the type of tabloid celebrity that Palin has always wanted to be. Perhaps the Oprah appearance will launch Ms. Quittypants into that world as well.

Yet, does Palin think that Oprah Winfrey’s audience has any use for her feminist-belittling brand of politics? Her stance against equal pay for equal work in the workplace and her penchant for charging rape victims for rape kits is not likely to sit well with those women who adore the female empowering posture of Oprah. Then there is Oprah Winfrey herself. It was Winfrey’s fierce opposition to the McCain/Palin ticket that triggered her first ever public endorsement for the Presidency, and it was not for the duo of Old and Dumb. We can only hope that prior to the interview Oprah gets an English translation of Palin’s book so that she can do some fact checking in advance. When one considers how hilariously poor Palin performed in her interviews with Gibson and Couric last Fall, we can only hope that the Oprah interview produces more of the same. How familiar can Palin be with the content of a book about herself that she did not author. It will not be Frost/Nixon, but this could be one interview for the ages if Winfrey plays it tough. Keep your fingers crossed.

In the meantime, let’s have some fun with a song parody directed at the Oprah/Palin interview.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

OPRAH’S-CABANA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah,
In search of dough girl
She had a beehive in her hair and stinging rhetoric to spare
She hated questions which she coined “Gotcha”
But she wanted to be a star,
On TeeVee while with Oprah
She feared becoming poor
So she had a book tour
She’d do this show and then another
And so many more

She’s on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She would be a star just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She lacked compassion but had stewardess fashion
And with Oprah…she’d find some love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

Her name was Oprah,
She shined like diamonds
While in that interviewer’s chair, she would give Palin a scare
And when she skewered that Holy Roller
It would be Palin’s au revoir
That interview will leave a scar
Then Sarah you know who,
Will blame Oprah’s stage crew
Her winking eyes will be all bloodshot
She will cry, “Boo-Hoo”

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She looked like a chimp with banana
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She had a passion for air hostess fashion
But with Oprah…she got no love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

(Oprah  Oprah-Cabana) (Oprah-Cabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Oprah Oprah-Cabana)
(Sarah P.,  rhymes with Hannity)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Palin,
She was a Guv’nor
But that was several months ago before she “went with the flow”
Now she’s a bimbo and she is failin’
A lip-sticked pig beyond compare
And with enemies to spare
She was a star that shined
But only with her kind
She was uncouth and she was a phony
Before she resigned

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
A fading starlet just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She took a thrashin’ while her teeth were gnashin’
And with Oprah…she got no love

(Oprah) That’s our failed Guv
Oprah’s-Cabana
Oprah’s-Cabana
(Fade to end)

Sarah Palin: The Quitter On Twitter

Have no fear, Palinbots. Your fearless leader, the ex-quitting former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin will soon be back on Twitter. Tweets will be flying from her fingertips at breakneck speed as her book hawking tour takes her from one tiny rural hamlet to the next. Presumably Ms. Quittypants feels that she will be so inundated with requested book signings from her uneducated and illiterate followers that she will be unable to post more lengthy and thoroughly researched Facebook entries. Besides, most of Palin’s followers find it difficult enough to try to slog through Twitter’s 140 character postings let alone try to read something more lengthy on Facebook. Consequently, for both Sarah Palin and her followers it is a win-win situation.

Please enjoy today’s Twitter inspired song parody. As usual, don’t forget to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Rockin’ Robin song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2RPWZ6qKc&feature=related

ROCKIN’ PALIN

(sung to the Jackson 5 song “Rockin’ Robin”)

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Every little message, every cryptic thing
Every little word from the ding-a-ling
She threw in the towel, it’s time to go
Flappin’ her lips every so and so

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

(musical interlude)

Petty little Palin that we just can’t stand
Tells her SarahPAC ers to fork out ten grand
She flirted with the devil and lost her soul
Payin’ legal bills through Kristan Cole

She sucks like a freeze pop all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Pretty little Palin just can’t understand
No one likes a beggar holding out her hand
Finding new employment is her next big goal
Her next job is with a stage-mounted pole

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

Republicans: A Whole Lotta Nuthin’

We apologize for posting so late today, but some pressing matters required some tending to. So, without further ado…

The party of “No” is up to its old tricks again. Democratic Senator, Harry Reid has announced that he would like to open debate on the Senate version of the health care reform bill as early as this Tuesday, November 17th. Thereafter, he would like a vote on the bill prior to the winter holiday recess.

“Not so fast”, say the Republicans. “What is the hurry”? You see, the G.O.P. leadership plans on utilizing some arcane Senate rules to delay the process to some time well into the new year. The reason for the expected delay tactics is that the Republicans will do anything in their power to derail health care reform so as to retain the status quo. They would rather see a broken system which costs thousands of lives per year persist so that the private insurance industry, which funds their campaign coffers, can continue to reap astronomical profits while denying health care benefits to policyholders. Of course the current system also leaves millions of people uninsured altogether. By delaying any vote on the Senate health care reform bill until 2010, an election year, the Republicans believe that many more blue-dog Democrats will vote against the bill in order to  avoid the massive campaign funding of their opponents by the insurance industry.

It is obvious that the Republicans are playing a game in which human lives are the pawns. They offer no solution to the health insurance crisis. Indeed, their inaction would allow the crisis to grow exponentially greater in the very near future. That is not a concern to the Republicans however. They would rather line the pockets of the insurance industry which in turn translates into huge campaign contributions. Let’s hope that the Senate Democrats hold strong to their convictions and move forward as quickly as possible on health care reform legislation. The passage of such a bill which will have massive voter support will not only help to alleviate some of the most egregious effects of the current broken system, but it will also help to solidify the branding of Republicans as the party of “No”. That is a title that may doom the G.O.P. to minority status for quite some time.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKu2QaytmrM

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Sarah Palin Book Tour = “Signing and Whining”

The Going Rogue book tour should be titled Going Rural. Sarah Palin the criticism-challenged former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is taking no chances while hawking her ghostwritten tome this month. In an attempt to avoid any negative comment she has chosen to avoid  book signings in most every large city or part of the nation that might be considered Democratic, liberal or progressive. This action should not indicate that she is a coward however, because she has elected to subject herself to hard-hitting televised interviews with almost every single Fox Network host that she could find including Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Greta Van Susteren. As always, Palin is once again proving herself to be a real “mavericky” risk taker.

This leads us to today’s song parody which describes Palin’s “Signing and Whining Tour” along with the tune to Jimmy Buffett’s upbeat Volcano. In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below so as to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. Please be patient with the song link as it takes a little bit of time to load and start playing.

Volcano song link: http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Volcano/1030500

GOING ROGUE

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Volcano”)

(Chorus)
Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Let me say now,

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she goes on book tour

She might visit Tennessee
They sure love the G.O.P.
Maybe next South Caroline
Sanford loves a nice behind

Let me hear ya now

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Now Sarah she did say to me
She will not visit Philly
Politics there, much too hot
I said, “How about Boston”, she answered back, “Not”

Let me say now, I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Mr. Wooten!
(musical interlude)

She wants to see what she’s worth
And face no questions of Trig’s birth
She must go where folks are dumb
She knows right where they are from

Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

One more now, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know (she don’t know mon)
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

She cannot mingle
In New York City
Baltimore and/or
Buffalo (no no no)
Don’t want to land in no
Blue Rhode Island
They will tell her just where to go (ho ho ho)

Don’t want to land in
No San Francisco
Or up in Detroit City (no no no)
Don’t want to land in
Massachusetts
That’s Kennedy territory (no no no)

She will be panned
While in Chicago
She is no fan
Of Ms. Winfrey (no no no)
She’s better off in Mississippi
Folks down there can barely read

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Just one more, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know
(she don’t know, man)
I don’t know where Sarah gonna go
When when she hawks Going Rogue!

Rush Limbaugh Is A Talking Turd

When will Jabba The Rush simply melt into his drug addled body and get flushed down the commode of right-wing hate mongering? This laughable, uneducated (no college degree for him), unfaithful (multiple marriages), drug addicted (self admitted) bloviator was, at one time, a strong voice of opposition to the Democratic Party. Limbaugh has now however, become a pivotal player in the self destruction of the Republican Party. Everything he touches turns to excrement.

Consider for instance, his 2008 “Operation Chaos” in which he urged conservatives to briefly register as Independents so that they could vote for Hilary Clinton in Democratic Party primaries in an effort to prevent Barack Obama from capturing the presidential nomination. Limbaugh’s plan backfired in two ways. First of all, it was unsuccessful in that Obama won the Democratic nomination anyway and then went on to resoundingly defeat the Republican in the general election to capture the White House. Perhaps more damaging to the Republican Party however, was that many of those party switchers maintained their Independent affiliation thereby diminishing Republican Party voter registration to historical lows.

The most recent Limbaugh disaster occurred just last week in the election to fill the House of Representives seat for the 23rd District of New York. That seat has been held by a Republican since the 1870′s but was vacant because the most recent congressman was tapped by the Obama Administration to be Secretary of the Army. The local Republican Party nominated moderate Dede Scozzafava as their candidate in the special election to run against Democratic Party nominee, Bill Owens. Limbaugh however, felt that Scozzafava was too moderate and therefore he implored his listeners to support the ultra-conservative third party candidate Doug Hoffman. Ultimately, the Republican candidate dropped out of the race and endorsed the Democratic Party candidate. The Republican vote was divided and the Democratic Party captured the seat for the first time in over 130 years. Rush Limbaugh’s interference once again damaged the Republican Party.

If this keeps up, Rush Limbaugh will become the face of what once was the Republican Party.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the song and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mockingbird song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOqD3uMIRs&feature=related

TALKING TURD

(sung to the Carly Simon/James Taylor song “Mockingbird”)

Talk (yeah) ing (yeah) turd (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Talking Turd

Now, everybody sure has heard
Rush Limbaugh the big fat talking turd
That loudmouth talking turd is king
Of all those racists in the right-wing
But those in the right-wing front line
Are busy planning for their next hate crime
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

Hear me now and understand
Rush lives only to hate and malign
And if ratings decline someday
Limbaugh will spread hate in another way
And if that other way makes dough
He’ll ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

(musical interlude)

Now, everyone should doubt his word
Rush Limbaugh is just a talking turd
And when that talking turd does sing
We can tell he’s just a ding-a-ling
And when that ding-a-ling just whines
Yes, Republicans will still think he shines
And there’s a reason why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Listen now and understand
Rush Limbaugh surely has lost his mind
And though he drugged his mind away
The right-wing nuts still listen everyday
Like Sarah Palin and that Plumber, Joe
He’s a dead fish that just “goes with the flow”
And that’s the reason why he keeps on spreadin’ all that fear
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now, baby

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 17

BREAKING NEWS:  Is it a surprise to anyone that a “sex tape” has emerged starring former Ms. California, Carrie Jean Prejean? Apparently in her perfect world, marriage is a sacred institution between a woman and her sex toy. Like the other beauty pageant runner-up, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, everything she touches turns to crap. Then again, the sex tape indicates that Prejean may have a promising solo career. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.

THIS JUST IN: In light of Glenn Beck’s recent emergency appendectomy, would it be fair to say that now Glenn Beck is also sick of Glenn Beck? Also, too (as Sarah Palin would say) is he worried about being cared for by those thuggish SEIU nurses?

BREAKING NEWS:  Michele Bachmann (R – Nutsville) said on CNN’s American Morning this week that Democrats have forgotten the lessons from the contentious town hall meetings this August in which angry conservatives criticized health care reform. She also said,

I think what we’re going to see is the town hall coming to Washington, D.C., just to remind members of Congress [that] we’re the ones we would like you to pay attention to, not lobbyists. And we don’t want the government to own our health care

Just wondering, but don’t the lobbyists represent the private health insurers and not a proposed government run public option? Why does Bachmann accuse the Democrats of siding with the lobbyists when they are seeking to create a not for profit public program? Methinks the crazy one is confused. Again.

THIS JUST IN: Christmas shopping will be a lot less expensive this year than originally thought. Newsmax has just slashed the price of Sarah Palin’s soon to be released memoir, Going Rogue to $ 4.97. That’s right, you can now enjoy a comic read over the holidays and then kindle your fireplace for less than the price of a gallon of eggnog.

BREAKING NEWS: Michele Bachmann’s (R – Mars) Chief of Staff, Michele Marston has announced that she is quitting her job. She has refused to give an explanation as to her reasons for leaving however, POLITICO reports that a conservative Republican House member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, has said, “When your captain’s crazy, it’s time to find a new ship.” Were truer words ever spoken?

THIS JUST IN: The most recent USA Today/Gallup survey released November 5th contains more troubling news for the political future of the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. the poll reveals that only one in three Americans would seriously consider voting for Palin in the 2012 presidential election. Is that the fat lady that we can hear singing?

BREAKING NEWS:  Last night the House of Representatives passed its version of a health care reform bill by a vote of 220 to 215. It is a bi-partisan bill because one Republican, Joseph Cao of Louisiana voted in favor of its passage. The bill includes a public option as well as prohibitions against insurance denial for pre-existing conditions and it prohibits increased premiums based on medical condition or gender. Not unexpectedly, the House Republicans stood silent and teary eyed as the votes were counted. Today they will lick their their wounds at a tea party at the home of John Boehner (pronounced, “boner”).

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of John Boehner (pronounced, “boner”), did anyone hear him at Michele Bachmann’s (R- La La Land) Teabagger Protest at the Capitol this week? He held up a copy of what was purportedly the United States Constitution and began reciting it to the meager crowd in attendance. Problem is, the words in his recital were from the Declaration of Independence and not the Constitution. These Republicans are pure and simple uneducated buffoons.

BREAKING NEWS:  Former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin will be the Republican speaker at this year’s Gridiron Club and Foundation’s winter dinner. The dinner is organized by the group which is comprised of journalists from around the nation. Will Palin have the guts to tell them to their faces, “quit making stuff up”? Probably not, inasmuch as the dinner is scheduled a few weeks after the release of Palin’s ghostwritten memoir which is sure to contain a lot of made-up stuff. I wonder if these journalists will be allowed to record, take notes or comment upon Palin’s speech at their own function. By the way, the Democratic Party speaker will be Barney Frank of Massachusetts. hopefully, he will speak second so that the eloquent and sharp tongued orator can comment upon whatever Palin had to say. Keep your fingers crossed.

Now it is time for today’s Sarah Palin song parody. In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTEjjGW3vUA&feature=related

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(instrumental interlude)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(another instrumental)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Saturday Night Music Byte

The Romantics are an American rock band from Detroit, Michigan, formed in 1977. The band adopted the name “The Romantics” because they formed on Valentine’s Day, 1977. The Romantics achieved moderate popularity in the United States, Canada, parts of Asia, Australia, Europe, and Latin America during the first half of the 1980s on the strength of the band’s catchy, energetic songs and stylish, memorable music videos. Influenced by 1960s British Invasion rock (most notably the music of the Kinks, the Who, the Beatles, the Hollies, and the Rolling Stones), 1970s Detroit garage rock and hard rock (as represented by such performers as Iggy Pop, the Stooges, the MC5, and the Rationals), and the punk rock of the Ramones, The Romantics play a more pop-oriented variation of punk rock known as power pop. The band is also commonly classified into the category of “New Wave” (probably due more to the band’s image and era than the sound of its music) by pop music historians.

The Romantics’ original lineup consisted of rhythm guitarist/harmonica player/singer Wally Palmar, lead guitarist Mike Skill, bassist Rich Cole, and drummer/singer Jimmy Marinos. All four band members made songwriting contributions to the group, but Palmar and Skill were considered the band’s primary tunesmiths. After a few years of playing local and regional gigs in Detroit and the Midwest, this lineup of the Romantics recorded the band’s self-titled debut album for Nemperor Records in 1980 with British producer Pete Solley. The group’s true debut was the single on Spider Records, “Little White Lies/”I Can’t Tell You Anything” (1978), followed that year by the Bomp single “Tell It To Carrie”/”First In Line” (on the Bomp label). All of these were re-recorded later for the LP.

The album yielded the hit “What I Like About You,” which reached #49 in the US, #12 in the Netherlands, and #2 in Australia, where the band was especially popular. “What I Like About You” would become much better known later in the 1980s, when its placement in television commercials and other high profile media made it an evergreen power pop anthem. The band became as well known (if not better known) for its flashy and audacious fashion sense as it did for its exciting music. The Romantics’ signature look featured bouffant hairdos and skin-tight red leather suits, as worn by the band members on the cover photo of their debut album.

On November 21, 2007, The Romantics filed a lawsuit against Activision, RedOctane, Harmonix, and Wavegroup Sound over the cover of the song “What I Like About You” used in Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s. While the game developers did secure appropriate rights to cover the song in the game, The Romantics claim that the cover is “virtually indistinguishable from the authentic version” and thus would “[confuse] consumers into believing that the band actually recorded the music and endorsed the product”. The lawsuit requested the cessation of sales of the game and monetary damage.

A summary judgment hearing was held on July 9, 2008, and the case was dismissed the next month, with U.S. District Judge Nancy G. Edmunds stating that Activision had obtained the proper licensing for the works and that the band itself no longer held the copyright on the work.

During my college years the song , What I Like About You seemed to be the one tune that could jump-start a frat party and get everybody dancing. I still think of those times whenever I hear it. Of course, that song is tonight’s music byte. Please enjoy.