Sarah Palin’s Year Of Unfortunate Events

Palin describes her last 12 months to students at the Wasilla School For The Deaf.

Palin describes her last 12 months to students at the Wasilla School For The Deaf.

For those of us not lucky enough to be from the Great State of Alaska, it is hard to imagine that prior to last year, we had no idea who Sarah Palin was. It now seems that not a day can go by without the subject of Caribou Barbie popping up on television, radio or in print media. She is both cheered and jeered, but not in equal amounts. She has a small but loyal following of uneducated, religiously intolerant, white, racist homophobes that dote over every one of her incoherent Twitter tweets. Those out-of-touch fanatics however, are vastly outnumbered by the scores of civilized Americans that view her as an imbecilic light-weight worthy only of the status of  the target of comedic barbs. Nonetheless, Sarah Palin’s trajectory over the last year has been like that of a shooting star: attention grabbing but short lived prior to burning out.

Indeed, the last twelve months have not been kind to the quitting ex-governor of Alaska. Shall we take an itemized look at some of the unfortunate events that have engulfed Sarah Palin over that period?

- She was revealed by Republican Presidential nominee, John McCain to be his running-mate. The American population responded with a resounding, “Who?”;

- It was revealed that the pedigree of her educational background consisted of attending 5 different mediocre colleges in 6 years before managing to attain only a bachelors dgree;

- It was discovered that the “family values”, “abstinence only”, evangelical christian politician had been impregnated prior to her marriage to the “First Dude.”

- It had been discovered that the “family values”, “abstinence only”, evangelical christian mother had an unwed pregnant teenaged daughter;

- She had those disastrous unscripted televised interviews with Charles Gibson and Katie Couric in which she could not name a single newspaper, magazine or periodical that she reads and failed to be able to name any Supreme Court decision other than Roe v. Wade;

- She could not accurately describe to a fifth grader the role of the Vice President of the United States;

- She was mercilessly lampooned by television comics, the most notable being Tina Fey;

- It was revealed that the “Country First” Sarah Palin’s spouse had been a card carrying member of the Alaskan Independence Party (AIP) who’s main agenda is to have the state secede from the United States;

- It was revealed that Sarah Palin, in her capacity as Governor of Alaska, had possibly attended AIP conventions and definitely provided official videotaped supportive messages to at least one of their conventions;

- Her sister-in=law and the mother-in-law to be of her pregnant daughter were both arrested;

- It was revealed that she actually said, “Thanks” before saying, “Thanks, but no thanks” regarding that “bridge to nowhere”;

- Subsequent to learning that Palin unsuccessfully tried to pressure Alaska Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan to fire her own brother-in-law (Mike Wooten), the Branchflower investigative report stated, “that Palin abused her power as governor and violated the state’s Executive Branch Ethics Act when her office pressured Monegan to fire Wooten.” The report also stated that “Governor Palin knowingly permitted a situation to continue where impermissible pressure was placed on several subordinates to advance a personal agenda, to wit: to get Trooper Michael Wooten fired.” The report also said that Palin “permitted Todd Palin to use the Governor’s office […] to continue to contact subordinate state employees in an effort to find some way to get Trooper Wooten fired.” from the state police;

- She uttered political hate speech by repeatedly claiming at political rallies that Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama had been “palling around with terrorists”;

- John McCain and she were soundly defeated in the 2008 Presidential election;

- It was revealed that she accepted over $ 150,000.00 dollars worth of clothing for herself and her family from the Republican National Committee at a time when most working class Americans were suffering through an economic recession;

- She was found to have breached ethics and tax rules for failing to report as income, certain unreimbursed travel expenses and per diem housing allowances while acting as Governor of Alaska;

- With more than two years remaining in her term, she quit the office of Governor of Alaska;

- Despite her degree in journalism, she elected to have her memoir written by a ghost-writer;

- While opposing health care reform legislation, she fictitiously claimed that the reform would contain “death panels” to shorten the lives of senior citizens; and

- Her husband, Todd quit his job with oil giant British Petroleum.

And that my friends (as John McCain would say) is only a partial list of the series of unfortunate events that have surrounded Sarah Palin in the last year. Will there be more in the upcoming year? “Ya Betcha !!!”

Before proceeding to today’s song parody, please take a little time to enjoy the following video clip of actor William Shatner reading, verbatim, Sarah Palin’s resignation speech from last July.

If you enjoyed William Shatner in the video clip, you will also enjoy him performing his rendition of the song, It Was A Very Good Year which is today’s song parody. Please enjoy.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link to familiarize yourselves with Shatner’s rendition of this tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

It Was A Very Good Year song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0GAjK64VZg

IT WAS A VERY BAD YEAR

(sung to the William Shatner version of the song “It Was A Very Good Year”)

When she was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for this small town girl
That was not too bright
With pageant queen height
A sight to be seen
When she was seventeen

When she was twenty-four
It was a not so good year
It was a not so good year for this pretty girl
She was now a pair
In maternity wear
No wedding décor
When she was twenty-four

When she was forty-five
It was a hell of a year
It was a hell of a year for this rejected girl
Who made so many scenes
And had a pregnant teen
Her future hope died
When she was forty-five

But now her days are short
Cuz it has been a very bad year
And now Sarah Palin’s life is one big whine
She’s hit the dregs
Been knocked down a few pegs
She’s the target of jeer
She’s had a very bad year.

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Posted on October 9, 2009, in Bristol Palin, Charles Gibson, David Letterman, John McCain, Katie Couric, Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin, Songs, Television, tina fey, Todd Palin, TV and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Nice round up and song.

    Last summer, who could have imagined this partial list of ridiculousness from a US VP candidate? Someone who was too stupid not to see that all this would come out? She is completely lacking in self awareness and forethought.

  2. Who knows….maybe SHE thinks she had a very good year. Ha Ha Ha Ha

  3. Bill & Bill’s excellent adventure

    Palin’s stock might well be sinking faster than Lehman Brothers’, but she has two very important Republicans behind her (figuratively speaking).

    O’REILLY stated that Palin is “the country’s No.1 attractive, relatively young woman, who other women can identify with, that attracts others to listen to her” (the proof is irrefutable).

    KRISTOL desperately needs Palin in The White House, if he’s going to get his war with Iran (she’s so fine there’s no other way to go).

    • From Politico:
      Palin, of course, isn’t the first national political figure to rate as too radioactive for certain races or parts of the country.

      President Bush and Vice-President Cheney were both kept at a distance by many moderate Republicans, especially as the administration’s popularity waned in the second term….

      But LaCivita noted that Palin has done nothing to indicate that she seems interested in running for president or rehabilitating her image among centrist voters.

      “I don’t think Palin is ever going to fix her problem,” said veteran Democratic strategist Jim Jordan. “She has created her own image. And she’s just anathema to swing voters and a figure of ridicule.”…

      “I can’t imagine a year from now that she’s invited to that many places,” he said. “And if she is, she’ll be that classic character where people will try to sneak her in and out for a fundraiser. They’ll do everything they can to avoid being photographed with her.”…

      As for Palin this year, Jordan said: “Her strength is in the intensity of her support, not its breadth. And they have [the base] already lined up.”

      Jonathan Martin

      The two Bills can bang on the drum all day, but the thinking people aren’t going to buy it.

  4. BigPete, as usual, you have a way with YouTube.

    Those two Bills are thinking with their little heads. The rest of us can see through her shtick.

    (How about some of The Specials “Free Nelson Mandela,” in honor of President Obama being a Nobel Peace Prize winner as well?)

    • Flag waving, patriotic conservatives are already honoring our great nation’s surprise Nobel Prize award (God bless them and God bless America)!

      {from mudflatter mo}

  1. Pingback: Sarah Palin's Year Of Unfortunate Events « Lynnrockets' Blast-Off

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