Sarah Palin Takes A Slow Boat To China

Town Hall Protestor at Sarah Palin speech in Hong Kong

We have all been wondering lately as to the whereabouts of Sarah Palin, the Quitter of Alaska. She has not been seen in public in quite some time and that is very unusual for the spotlight-craving diva. Some speculated that she was hiding her visage while recuperating from plastic surgery. Her father claimed in a recent interview that she was in an undisclosed location while writing her soon to be released memoir. The Globe Magazine even postulated that Caribou Barbie was confined to the “nervous hospital” after having suffered a marriage related nervous breakdown. So, where has she really been?

We may now have the answer. Those in the know believe that she has been hunkered down with earphones on her head while the Rosetta Stone language teaching tapes infuse her with the Chinese language. Such is the case, because the group known as CLSA Investors’ Forum ( Credit Lyonnais Securities Asia), has announced that the erstwhile “pitbull with lipstick” will be a keynote speaker at its conference scheduled for September 23, 2009 in Hong Kong.

Now, we have no idea if Sarah Palin can see Hong Kong from her house, but we are pretty sure that her exposure to Asian culture and politics is limited to the luncheon menu at the Golden Palace restaurant in Wasilla, Alaska. Just imagine the comic possibilities of this trip. Will Palin insult the local population by accusing them of “palling around with terrorists”? Will she accuse them of being “un-American”? Will she instruct them on the “Christian thing to do”? Will she accuse them of being Muslims? The possibilities of ways in which she will embarrass herself are endless.

Of course, the biggest question of all is, will she even show up for the event? As we all know, she has been a no show at four consecutive speaking engagements in which she has accepted an invitation. Consequently, we all look forward to the days just before September 23rd.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

China Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uZETFSmOxE

FORTY-NINER GIRL

(sung to the David Bowie song “China Girl”)

Oh, oh, oh, ohoo state forty-niner girl
Oh, oh, oh, ohoo state forty niner girl

Sarah Palin is feeling, like a China girl
She’s a shipwreck of a, little China Girl
She’ll be at that meeting, and she’ll blunder
Her stardom’s crashing

She’s a mess that Palin, state forty-niner girl
We’ve had warnings that she lies, little China girl
She’ll be at that meeting, and she’ll blunder
We’ll watch her come crashing down

She’s lost her magic like, she’s no longer Rambo
The C-L-S-A’s China girl
They can’t pretend that Sarah really knows too much
The C-L-S-A’s China girl

She’ll stumble into town just like a sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in her head
Plans for all Hong Kong
It’s in the white of her eyes

State forty-niner girl
You shouldn’t mess with she
She’ll ruin everything you are
You know, she’ll be on television
She’ll wink her eyes at you
She is the wench who wants to rule the world

One day she’ll get indicted
State forty-niner girl looks,
So shady, lipstick on her mouth
She says…sh
She says…sh
She says…
She says…

Oh, oh, oh, ohoo state forty-niner girl

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